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 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 21
Erection problemsPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
If he's just tired, he should only be down for a day or two, not a week or weeks.
If it's mental -- could be difficult to sort out the issue.

I agree with posters who say lay off a bit---stop the pursuit. Let him sort it out a while in his head. Meanwhile...STAY SEXY. This means keeps your looks up, keep smiling at him, keep showing off your bod -- walk around the house in just your underwear or just a shirt and no panties. You don't have to chase him....sooner or later, he'll just bend you over a chair.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 22
Erection problems
Posted: 8/14/2010 7:31:45 AM
^^^I don't agree with this completely. What if he keeps doing this on and off for a long time? She will then become frustrated and not enjoy their relationship. Why does she have to sit back and wait and wonder what is wrong and be the one who keeps putting in the effort? This reminds me of TV where you see a couples sex life fading until the wife comes home with lingerie! Giving everyone the idea that it is the woman's responsibility to keep her man happy and to keep the sex life alive and interesting. It is a 50/50 responsibility.

This is WHY many relationships fail when it comes to sex. People HAVE to discuss this stuff. A couples sex life should have a balance of fun and seriousness. I bet most folks are unable to sit at the kitchen table fully clothed and tell their partner outright what they like. Most couples do it while in bed. Try it both ways.

A lot of men have this idea that women are happy in their sex lives since they don't say anything.

If something doesn't turn you on, you need to express this to your partner. People need to stop with this whole idea that they know what they are doing when it comes to sex. It can be a lot of pressure (esp for men since they often are the dominant one).

A lot of men are happy with boring vanilla status quo sex (and this is especially true of men in their 20's). Eventually women realize this is not doing it for them.

She should discuss it with him once, and not keep nagging. However if he refuses to provide something that makes sense (which I get the feeling he won't, judging from what the OP said he told her), I would not accept it. Sorry, but if people want the best relationship they can have, they need to be open and honest. Seeing as how I stayed in a relationship in this same situation and he still wanted to be with me, but could or would not discuss what was wrong with OUR sex life, I know what I'm talking about.

Expecting anyone to be a sex machine and for sex to be all romantic and like the movies is childish.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 23
Erection problems
Posted: 8/16/2010 10:49:20 AM

Most people are embarassed to admit they don't know something about sex. Many regular forum posters insult those seeking advice and help. Way to go.
You're very welcome. I'd be happy to continue to rip those who point fingers at partners and say "it's him/her" when all along, the answer is looking them right in the face:
- He/she is no longer that into you.
- He/she has no clue what they're doing "down there."
- They come to a forum full of people who don't know them looking for validation (notice I used the word validation instead of advice here).
- They say it must be something with their body (my favorite is a guy asking why a woman won't orgasm).
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 24
Erection problems
Posted: 8/16/2010 12:39:57 PM

by regulary I mean 3-4 days a week and several times a day.

Well, which is it? 2+ times a day, or 3-4 times a week? Or is it just mostly all on one day a week? :)

He'll be hard but as soon as we're about to have sex...Droop. We'll start making out and try to get his erection back but when it's gone he can't seem to get it back.

Well, for the record, kissing a lot ain't going to fix it. :) Try going down on him. How does that do?

I'll admit i'm getting sexually frustrated as it's been a few weeks since i've gotten some.

Yeah, you do have an issue. Sounds like maintaining it hard. Again, try going down on him right before. Things I can think of is this:
- If he smokes, have him cut down on it
- Take L-Arginine. An amino acid you can pick up at a lot of places. It sends blood to your muscles. Mr Happy being one of them. It's a main ingredient in those all-natural products like Enzyte.
- Have him do some cardio. Circulation, circulation, circulation.
- Have him eat a lot of celery. I know, sounds weird. But, there's a chemical there that boosts hormones. A porn star ate it religiously to give him a superhuman "money shot"
- Keep in mind; you don't have to have stress at the top of your head to be stressed. Stress can be kinda weird.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 25
Erection problems
Posted: 8/17/2010 5:27:00 AM

You're very welcome. I'd be happy to continue to rip those who point fingers at partners and say "it's him/her" when all along, the answer is looking them right in the face:
- He/she is no longer that into you.
- He/she has no clue what they're doing "down there."
- They come to a forum full of people who don't know them looking for validation (notice I used the word validation instead of advice here).
- They say it must be something with their body (my favorite is a guy asking why a woman won't orgasm).


Like I said, if this is the case, I blame him because he is too much of a coward to say anything. He is just as bad "at sex" as she is in that case. I can't stand people who stay in relationships when the sex is bad and don't try to do anything. Lazy.

When my sex went bad, I brought it up as a problem with "our" sex life. I didn't care if it was me or him, I wanted to find out - but he ran like a child and didn't want to discuss it.

Most people really can't handle a serious discussion about this. It's even funnier when you get them together with a sexual therapist.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Erection problems
Posted: 8/18/2010 9:59:12 PM
There are plenty of things you can do without an erect penis. Get into them.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 27
Erection problems
Posted: 8/20/2010 11:20:40 AM

Most people really can't handle a serious discussion about this. It's even funnier when you get them together with a sexual therapist.
My ex was like that. She's my ex for a reason. Sex is too important to just overlook. She got all skittish when I brought up the fact that "our" sex was lousy and that "we" had to do something.

I still maintain that a healthy 26 year old should be a walking erection factory. This woman messed up his mind or body in some way she's not yet figured out. Or, they could just be a poor match sexually.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 28
Erection problems
Posted: 8/20/2010 11:29:30 AM
26 and has ED???

OK..He either is dying or something or someone is messing with his mind.

Healthy 26 year olds can't pass a cantaloupe with out getting a woodie.


Do the bandaid test.
If its in his head he will get an erection sometime in his sleep or upon awakening if he is healthy
..and the bandaid will come off.

I would google the exact directions but I think one end is on his manhood and one on his thigh.

Maybe work? Money problems are big droopers.
Family issues or illnesses.
Maybe it's over.


Or, they could just be a poor match sexually.

Could be but can't?
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 29
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History
Erection problems
Posted: 8/20/2010 4:40:57 PM

Healthy 26 year olds can't pass a cantaloupe with out getting a woodie.


Dayum cantaloupes..they are the sluts of the melons..all yummy and slushy..why is my keyboard tilted?
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 30
Erection problems
Posted: 8/21/2010 3:17:25 PM

why is my keyboard tilted?


OMG!!! See OP?

Thats scary if your keyboard is on a desk.Ping.Must be all that Vitametavegimin Lucy sold you..be careful it is actually 23% alcohol.

Looooocy you have some splainin to doooooooo.
Do Not think of a watermelon..Please.

Op Really he Must be having something serious health wise going on or he is depressed, on medication/drugs ..or it's just over.

I hope you find out soon and all is well.
Good luck.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 31
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History
Erection problems
Posted: 8/22/2010 12:52:34 PM

Thats scary if your keyboard is on a desk.Ping.Must be all that Vitametavegimin Lucy sold you..be careful it is actually 23% alcohol.


I have no idea what that is that you mention..but..I am glad it's not pictures of sheep that get the same reaction, dats for dayum sure!
 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Erection problems
Posted: 11/13/2010 7:29:09 PM
have you tired INOSITOL 650 mg an important B Vitamin for your Erection problems
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 33
Erection problems
Posted: 11/14/2010 10:59:31 AM
That sucks. Age 26???? Seriously??? Ihave dated men twice that age who wpould be hard before theirm panats even came off.........he might have a medical issue, or beusing drugs pr excessive alcohol. Does he drink heavily? drugs? Is he diabetic? Diabetes affects blood flow to many body parts including the penis. He should see a doctor.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Erection problems
Posted: 11/14/2010 3:16:54 PM
mogrl42 msg#38 WTF is with you?....but it's O.K. for you women to call a man a stud or a stallion ...isn't it? We sure don't mind! .....Oh!, now I get it...I guess you mean I shouldn't have insulted the horse.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 35
Erection problems
Posted: 11/14/2010 5:24:20 PM
Also, what do if this happens next time?


Takka your boyfriend to China Town herb shop. Aska for mr Chang, him givva u something to keppa your boyfriend yang up. Make yang hard enough to cut diamonds. U tanka me lata.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 36
Erection problems
Posted: 11/16/2010 4:31:09 PM
buy him a penis pump that erection problem will go away
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Erection problems
Posted: 11/17/2010 1:06:46 AM
No one has thrown this out as a cause of the problem..

Performance anxiety...which can be easily cured with understanding and going easy.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 38
Erection problems
Posted: 11/17/2010 5:55:47 AM

Performance anxiety...which can be easily cured with understanding and going easy.


That'd be plausible if it was the first time or two for the OP and bf, but several months of successful sex are under their collective belt. I suspect his mind is just wandering, doesn't matter why, or even that he knows what's next, been there, and the ennui has got him.
OP, get yourself a harness and a strap-on, one of those dual-device buzzing contraptions, and next time the droop disappoints, flip him over, gear up and do him. That should get his refocus him to the tasks at hand. lol And, hey, one or both of you might kinda like it, a switch, to relieve the ennui, certainly keep him guessin' about what's next.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 39
Erection problems
Posted: 11/22/2010 1:36:19 AM
The general plan of action is to rule out all possible medical causes first, then the obvious psycholgical causes.

Left with a subconscious issue that is ruining things, the best cure is hypnosis.

Since it is a mutual "suffering" in the relationship, it should be handled by both of you. He may be bored, but boredom in the bedroom is a door that swings both ways. OP may have said something that jerked him wrong, or maybe his mother or exgf did. He may be guilty from an affair or maybe instead of doing drugs, he's sober. Maybe she smells bad? Maybe she has a mole with hair growing out it? Just kidding, geeze, people take sex so seriously!

Since he went to a doctor, he probably feels it is something to do with him, and probably does not know why, and the fussing about it is probably making it worse.

So my suggestion is the two of you do an absolutely required course of quasi-celibacy. Select a time period of no penis in vagina sex, no matter what, even if the heat of things seems to change things for the better, do not allow the penile penetration of the vajayjay. Find all the ways to screw and make love and seduce and tease and masturbate that do not involve the little soldier invading the bush.
 FreshOrFree
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 40
Erection problems
Posted: 11/23/2010 7:47:13 PM
I am the boyfriend of More1984.

Are you using condoms? If so, it's pretty normal to happen sometimes, especially if he has something on his mind.

No condoms? Then how frequently is this happening? If it is all the time the only answer I can give you is that he is no longer sexually attracted to you. Sorry, it may hurt to hear, but it's the truth. Nothing makes a penis softer than a lack of sexual attraction.

But if it is only occuring 50% of the time or less, it means he is stressed (and has a lot on his mind) and it will go away. Hope that helps
 LSUdude24
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 41
Erection problems
Posted: 11/24/2010 7:45:27 PM
Do you have any pictures of Rosie O'Donnell or Oprah in any room that you have sex?
I know that would ruin it for me. I saw a picture of Rosie O'Donnell in a wet t-shirt and I was impotent for 9 days.
 Email Tom Now
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 42
Erection problems
Posted: 12/3/2010 5:27:13 PM
the OP says:
"I'll admit i'm getting sexually frustrated as it's been a few weeks since i've gotten some.

what do i do if this happens next time?"





call me at 555-335-8222 and i'll bang you like a screen door in a hurricane baby!!!
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 43
Erection problems
Posted: 12/3/2010 9:51:39 PM
I understand both your frustrations in this situation as 1. he does not know why he is having this problem and 2. you're not having sex. So an option for him is to buy some Viagra until the problem is resolved.

As for yourself, do not pressure him or vent your frustrations if the problem persists as that will simply not help but rather, be supportive of him and the reality of what he's living!
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 44
Erection problems
Posted: 6/11/2011 7:44:19 PM

He went to his doctor and his doctor said 'he has too much on his mind, otherwise he is perfectly healthy.' My boyfriend says he's not stressed and that he doesn't know why he can't maintain an erection because he`d love to have sex with me.

My boyfriend is 26, is this common for a man his age? I'll admit i'm getting sexually frustrated as it's been a few weeks since i've gotten some. I'm trying not to be selfish either.

Also, what do if this happens next time? What do I say?


How did you react the first time? Honestly...did you think it was because of you? If you did...he most likely picked up on it. Believe me he has plenty on his mind. He has probably psyched himself out. All the time thinking...OMG...what if it happens again. And then it does.

Just like a baseball player in a slump. The whole time at back thinking...OMG...don't strike out again......don't strike out again...until he has stuck out. He needs to blast one out of the park again to prove he still has it. And that pressure just adds to the problem.

Whatever you can do to turn down the heat...is what will help the most. You have to convince him that you're in it for the package and not the performance.

What should you do. Let him take control of the pace. Even if it means skipping foreplay. If you do talk about it...do it outside the bedroom.
 Daisyrose73
Joined: 9/23/2010
Msg: 45
Erection problems
Posted: 6/12/2011 12:30:58 PM
I was in this situation for 10 yrs out of the 14 yrs I was married. It started when I got pregnant and continually got worse. I tried leaving him alone and did not initiate sex (after about 6 months I gave up on that), we tried not trying to have actual intercourse but I would give him oral, which is what the last 5 yrs of our relationship was so again...no satisfaction still for me. I tried to spice things up, offer an open relationship, 3 some...anything I could thing of over those years.

We separated and we agreed to see a sex therapist but by that point our relationship in my opinion was over. He finally admitted after 10 yrs that once I got pregnant he saw me in his mind as a "mom" and it freaked him out. He just could not see me as a sexual being and since his needs were being met, in his mind the marriage was great.

I don't really have advice for the OP, except that if he will not talk about it he may never get over whatever is going on in his head.
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