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 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 26
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasonsPage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Boy wasn't he crestfallen when I told him I don't like games and secret tests, if he had wanted me to pay he should have used his words like a grown up instead of making our date an experiment to see if I could read his mind.

Isn't that in itself your own secret test (to see if he'll state whatever his demands/expectations are)? After all, is he supposed to be able to read your mind and know if he should tell you to pay or give you a chance to offer to pay on your own?

As for me, the online dating first meets mostly haven't gone farther due to the lack of a spark. And for those who get confused by the term "spark," I didn't feel any desire to ever kiss the guys.

Some other dating attempts that didn't go beyond a few dates...

-- The guy who seemed to be flaunting his money in various ways, including wearing his designer sunglasses on his head-- at night.

-- The guy who said he thought an "I [plane] New York" t-shirt was hilarious and then went on to suggest a lot of people in the towers kind of deserved it. I gave him ample opportunity to say he was kidding or explain that he'd misspoken. His position didn't change so I walked out.

-- The guy who, while making out fully clothed, came in his pants. We were young and I would have gone out with him again but he ran out mortified.

-- The guy with whom I went to the movies who ate a hot dog and threw his ketchup-stained napkins right on the ground, not even into his box (which he should have later thrown away) but on the ground. It just struck me as so inconsiderate.

-- The guy in my building I'd had a crush on for a long time who had always been super cool and then we finally went out and he was name dropping like crazy and boosting himself up and it all sounded like bullshit. Completely turned me off. After that, he was back to being super cool and normal so I don't know what happened that night.

-- The guy who used the term "fags" and, upon clarification, confirmed he had a problem with gays. I told him we should split, he told me he loved me (this was after about six dates, all fairly casual and without even getting past first base). No surprise that this one continued to periodically show up at my work or call me for the next two years or so.

vv EDIT:

.I lock the car, unlock and open her door the old fashioned way...If while I walk to the driver side, she unlocks MY door...she has potential!

In this day and age of keyless entry remotes as a common auto feature, do you find many women with potential? I remember that "test" from when I was younger but don't know if it would even occur to me to do that today.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 27
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/17/2010 5:12:55 AM
I use "The Bronx Tale" test ....I lock the car, unlock and open her door the old fashioned way...If while I walk to the driver side, she unlocks MY door...she has potential!

If she drones on and on about nonsense all night, she loses said potential...
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 28
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/17/2010 7:14:39 AM
Anytime I didnt proceed with another date, it was because I had already determined there was no desire on my part to let him even touch me, never mind get to kissing. The reasons for the lost interest are varied...from witnessing him being rude to others, to flaunting money. The reasons really dont matter, if I dont feel like I want to kiss him, why bother? I dont waste my time, or other peoples.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 29
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guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/17/2010 10:36:34 AM
One more comes to mind...

6. The woman who told me she had been with a woman in the past (Bye, now!), and couldn't say that she wouldn't do it again (Run, Forrest, Run!). Maybe she thought I would think that was hot, but, um, no.
 summer1717
Joined: 8/14/2010
Msg: 30
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/17/2010 7:40:11 PM
There are a variety of reasons why I have lost interest in a man after 1-3 dates.

Lack of physical attraction
Incompatibility / Didn't have much in commom
Being arrogant
Constantly complaining
Making racist or sexist comments
Being rude towards the waitstaff or other people
 nicegirl1974
Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 31
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/17/2010 10:42:20 PM
why i didn't date that person anymore reasons ?
yep abusive could see the red flags just from hearing his conversations on the cell phone with family,friends after 1 st date
i blocked his phone number and on msn,facebook

but i did hear threw a friend who i met him threw he did find someone and they sticked it out sadly for 1 year and he ended up going to jail for 2 years for sexual assault,assault with a weapon on her....
she now lives in Cuba alone...


 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 32
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guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/19/2010 10:08:31 AM
Hmm ... it wasn't that long time ago and yes, he was a local guy, we spoke the night before on phone for quite some time as he sensed that I was upset about something, so I told him the experience and we debated it. The next day I sent him an e-mail - on here. It was a very positive message that carried a successful resolution to the shared problem. He r e a d and promptly d e l e t e d it. I felt gutted, least to say.
Silence was to follow ... and so be it.

Life is full of turns and twist and if two people are not able to share ups & downs what else is there to share? Oh yeah, some might have a suggestion but in my books that is p u d d i n g after a full course meal
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 33
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/19/2010 10:18:24 AM

In this day and age of keyless entry remotes as a common auto feature, do you find many women with potential? I remember that "test" from when I was younger but don't know if it would even occur to me to do that today.


Yes, it still works...if they don't do it, I joke about the test and the movie....then usually they do it next time...then it becomes a big inside joke between us...or they don't do it next time and I know they either weren't paying attention or just don't care.
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 34
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/25/2010 5:28:48 PM
"who, while making out fully clothed, came in his pants"
Dang, you are good! :-)

What is this 'secret test' everybody is talking about? I didn't get the memo so I go by normal things like lack of chemistry, red flags, weird behavior and the like. I never walked out on a date, but some were short and pointless when there was no spark. Overall, the women I dated were a pleasure to be with. When there's no click then it was just a coffee and 'good luck' on friendly terms while all others resulted in a shorter or longer period of dating.

The oddest date was somebody who explained BDSM to me (she was in that lifestyle). Can't say it was bad, but it was too dangerous for me. It affected me more than it should have. But in a good way. Had to stop. Felt like a vampire-bitten human who was about to get first blood... Anything else would be TMI.
 sosdd
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 35
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/25/2010 5:39:16 PM
I know there were first dates that didn't go any where, but having a third date and breaking it off, nah. Usually I knew I didn't want a second date. If I went out for a second it normally went beyond the third. Post third date, ie relationship stage: he was too young, he sucked in bed, and just a plain jerk.
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 36
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/25/2010 6:19:22 PM
What is this 'secret test' everybody is talking about? I didn't get the memo so I go by normal things

It's having an expectation that the dater keeps to his/her self ... if the other person doesn't meet it, she/he fails their "test."
see abbicci's post (msg 12) and jco's post (msg 34, I think)

There's isn't any one "secret test" that people have in common (although I think the Bronx Tale test has a pretty good fan base).
Here are some examples of first meet tests some men have that I'm aware of from my own experience:
must dress in a way that shows her legs (short dress/skirt, short shorts)
must be wearing high heels for anything indoors or paved
must have nail polish (fingers and/or toes)
must wear lipstick
must wear makeup
must accessorize (jewelry, etc)
must wait for her chair to be pulled out/coat taken/door opened
must not offer to, try to, or heaven forbid actually pay

Isn't dating fun?
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 37
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/25/2010 6:36:24 PM
"Here are some examples"
Thanks, jinx. Wow, I thought those were preferences or bonus points, but you make it sound like instant failures if not complied with.

I am often glad to be a man just not to have to put up with that stuff (that and peeing standing). Oh well, the odder other men behave, the better MY chances. I'm ahead by doing nothing. :-)
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 38
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/25/2010 6:57:56 PM
^^^It's actually kind of funny to meet for coffee, and he's right away checking shoes for heels and toes for paint, gets a disappointed look on his face, and then that's the end of that. But not before I get to hear about great it is when women have cute feet and show them off, and how I have cute feet and ought to show them off.
 pandusvenator
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 39
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/25/2010 7:33:36 PM
Oh I have plenty of one time dates. Actually that's why I prefer to meet a woman even at the grocery store. I like a certain personna or feel and I can screen in person. Could be the way she holds her head or is exasperated because her child is driving her nuts and she has poise about it. Maybe the way she pulls her hair back from her face. It just is.

I've actually been cussed out for not going on a second date with one woman from the online position. I never even kissed her.

You can talk and chat till the cows come home but it will not matter. You have to get in each other's space.

If there is a second date then there is a real chance something might happen between us. The reason I don't do a second date in all cases is because I don't want to go there. Something is off or not right. I will loose interest rather quickly if sparks aren't brewing in the background. I have no idea why. It just is.
 lolaserena
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 40
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/25/2010 9:58:48 PM
wow

maybe I am way to laid back for internet dating

some of these reasons I am reading I would just take with a grain of salt and push on
 blackbirdtc65
Joined: 1/17/2010
Msg: 41
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guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/26/2010 5:19:37 AM
I must be laid back also because most of the fore mentioned would not bother me.

Although, I think that a woman/man should verbally thank the person for a dinner that he has paid for and just a pleasant date. This is dating 101 and just common courtesy.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 42
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/26/2010 5:24:03 AM

Anytime I didnt proceed with another date, it was because I had already determined there was no desire on my part to let him even touch me, never mind get to kissing. The reasons for the lost interest are varied...from witnessing him being rude to others, to flaunting money. The reasons really dont matter, if I dont feel like I want to kiss him, why bother? I dont waste my time, or other peoples.


This. It really all goes back to chemistry most of the time for me. Though arrogance and baseless assumption are also pretty big turn-offs and chemistry killers.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 43
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/29/2010 11:43:32 AM
Never had a chance to get to the point of ME not dating THEM anymore.

One look at me and they run screaming into the night!

Got me a few cars out of it.
They forgot they could drive screaming into the night,
and wouldn't dare come back.

 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 44
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/29/2010 1:09:33 PM
Dated a few times. She started reminding me of my ex. Lost her keys one time but they were buried in her purse. Lost a card on 3rd date, something she needed to take care of. Every date she forgot or lost something. Can't deal with that.

Don't you think that's a little petty, though? Sure that was the ONLY reason? :) Don't get me wrong, I appreciate responses that aren't funny campfire story ones (which are obvious why you'd be turned off)....

Had 1 date with a lady, looked nothing like her pix. Was nice but not what i expected.

If she was nice looking, what did it matter? Pics can give a totally different look. Some people have 1 pic looking very different from the next, taken in the same general timeframe. I would say that'd turn me off if she looked far worse than the pics -- not just different... because after all, one should expect to meet someone for the first time "all over again" when doing so in person, even after emailing/calling a week or two before.

Had a date and talked for hours, seemed interested in going out again. Found her attractive. Dissapearing act. This has happened twice, and both times with fairly attractive women

What's interesting is THAT situation is what people want to know about. You could have had a couple mannerisms that reminded her of her ex, or you could have mentioned something and she had a hair trigger for a red pen looking for problems... OR what I believe to be the case more often than not, she had other options she found more attractive.
 NiceandEdgy
Joined: 7/13/2010
Msg: 45
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/29/2010 2:28:06 PM
#1 reason I will not pursue a woman is ex issues. It is an exercise in futility to enter a relationship where either or both parties have ex issues. Been there done that and it just don't work.
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 46
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/31/2010 1:18:49 AM
Maybe instead of favoritedreamsofyou, a more apt name would be something like carefullypragmaticrequirementstosatisfy.

Truth in advertising is its own reward.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 47
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/31/2010 7:52:21 AM
I stop dating some of them because I found out they were lying about stuff - I don't wait until they accumulate 3 strikes for that anymore.

Some had no interest in me, me in them, or both.
Some because they were blasting their ex's.
One came drunk and got drunker.
Some went on to explain their sexual preferences and expectations in detail.
Another said that I'm indimidating (Moi? Intimidating???)
Some bore the daylights out of me, or suck every bit of energy out of me by just being there.
It is probably me, I'm getting old, I'm losing my edge, and I pick the wrongest ones.


 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 48
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 9/1/2010 8:08:58 AM
The top five reason not to continue to date a lady!!!

#5...A 50 pound bag of cat food last 3 days.

#4...She spends more on make up than the light bill.

#3...She puts athletic on her profile and has over 30% body fat.

#2...She has over 100 pairs of shoes but never has a pair that matches the dresses she owns.
Drum roll please....The number one reason not to date!!!!!
#1...She is Bi-Polar and won't take her meds!!!!!

Disclaimer this is meant to be funny.....If it offends you ......Get a life!!!!
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 49
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guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 9/1/2010 10:33:06 AM

#3...She puts athletic on her profile and has over 30% body fat.


You know, there's 2 kinds of athletic...athletic, and East-German-Bull-Lesbian-Steroid-Addict-Athlete athletic.
 splitions
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 50
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 9/1/2010 11:43:47 AM
There were 2 guys this year that I stopped dating because:

Guy #1
On this profile said he was 5'7", I am really attracted to tall guys and usually don't date someone under 5'10" but we seemed to have a lot in common so I figured we would give it a shot. As soon as he walked in our first date I noticed that he was not 5'7" and in fact he was my height (5'3"), I was wearing flats and he was the as tall as me so that was an immediate turn off. Next, on his profile he said that he smokes "occassionally" which to me is a few ciggs a week. He must have went through 2 packs of ciggarettes the time we were hanging out, I mean as soon as he finished one, the next one was already in his mouth. I hate cigarettes and not about to date someone who is a chain smoker so after that date I politely told him that we aren't a good match. So he lied about little things in his profile but it was enough to be a red flag for me.

Guy #2
I actually had met him at work and had a huge crush on him. He quit where we worked and a few months later we connected on Facebook and started hanging out. The more he hung out, the more I knew he was a patholigical liar and he was always trying to one up me on stuff. Like I would tell him story about something crazy I did when I was younger and he would always have a similar story but his was always way more badass or awesome than my experience, literally like every story. Then I noticed when we hung out a lone, he would tell me one thing and then the next day when hanging out with my friends, he would say something completely different, for example we were playing 20 questions and I asked if he ever broke bone and he told me how he broke his wrist one time. Well the next day while hanging out with some of my friends, he starts bragging about how he does mixed martial arts and one time he got 4 ribs broken in a match. And im just like WTF? It seemed like all of his stories were way too far fetched and a lot of times didnt make sense at all so I knew I was headed for disaster if I continued to date him so I just ended it.

I don't feel like I decide to not date someone over stupid little things. I am looking for long term so I actually put up with a lot when it comes to dating
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