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 Purr Heart
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 51
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasonsPage 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
One time this potential woman suggested a particular restaurant for our first meet - we were communicating via e mail about this. I asked for the address and she gave it to me. I then wrote back that I'd rather do something else for our first meet. But, she had gone offline.

What does she do ?

The next evening she goes to the restaurant and waits for me !

Then, after realizing I wasn't going to show up, she goes home and reads the e mail I'd sent the night before saying I'd rather not.

Then, she tries to guilt trip me for not showing up !

Wow !

Check please !

This may not be a bizarre story but to show up someplace when an agreement hasn't even been made ????

How is asking for the address an agreement to meet ? And why would you go offline in the middle of a conversation and/or not even check later to make sure nothing more was said by the other person ???

 Ms Horse Fan
Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 52
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History
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 9/1/2010 4:34:37 PM
Iconoclast, you are brilliant.
 61central
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 53
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 9/2/2010 7:35:19 PM
Usually it is due to some combination of the following.

Personality flaws - He was rude, arrogant, unreliable, immature etc
Lack of compatiblity - different interests, lifestyles, beliefs, future goals etc
Physically unattractive
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 54
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 9/4/2010 12:38:18 AM

guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons


1) Date tried dry humping my leg in the line to the movie theater....thought the old lady's face when she saw that was hilarious

2) Continuously sent me text messages of poetry stating his love after one date

3) Told me he was taking an Klingon online language class and thought it would be fun to do together

4) Sent my best friend (he did not know we were friends) a message on here after our fouth date....a date in which he had stated how much he enjoyed my company and that he was deleting his profile when he got home.

5) Googled my name (which I had mistakenly said aloud on our first date)....found me on a 411 directory and showed up at my home an hour before I was to meet him for a second date (I have since not allowed my home address to appear on phone directories).

6) Kept saying...wronnnnnnnnnnggggggggg answer when I responded to a question. He got away with it 4 times before I got up and walked out...

7) Kept scratching his head...not lightly but as if you could almost imagine him bringing his foot up behind his ear sort of scratching. I wasn't sure if it was nervousness or lice....I didn't bother finding out....the scratching was making me itchy.

lol...those are all within about 3 years of online dating...I haven't had met anyone online (in person) for about 6 months now.
 lorenskye
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 55
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 9/5/2010 3:08:04 AM
Guy1 ) This person was odd, so odd that I wasn't interested in meeting up again.

Guy2) He was a nice guy headed in the right direction, but he wasn't my type.

Guy3) He wasn't my type at all.
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 56
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 9/5/2010 8:55:29 AM
I dated a man for months once and thought he was great. Then we went on vacation together to a tropical locale where all of the resort staff were non caucasian and he disparged, insulted, and disrespected them to such an extent I asked to be put in another room separate from him and refused to hang out with him at all because I did not want to be associated with such racist behaviour. Needless to say, our flight back to Canada was our last contact with one another.

Another time I went out with a guy a few times that would bring his Blackberry everywhere we went. I tolerated it once or twice thinking something big might be going on in his life but, after date three when he spent more time texting and answering phone calls than engaging with me, I refused any more invitations from him. If you want to spend all night on your phone, stay home and do it.

I could go on and tell more stories, some of them painful, others downright hilarious but, I think two will suffice for now.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 57
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/4/2010 8:51:27 PM
1 - 1st date had a girl offer to pay, i said no sweetie- I asked you out so i'm paying...she offered again after the 2nd date and I realized, "damn this girl already is not listening to me- it'll only go downhill from here" and did not call back

2- i had known this girl for about 2 years...saw each other out on the town...she wanted to goto my place (but she was really drunk) but i said we could go out the next night when she was sober....took her to dinner- and my place...afterwards she was telling me I could have her every night and she'd come and cook dinner for me each night and would love to help me take care of my girls....

that pretty much did me in....I never called her after that...

3- met a girl...great chemistry...talked on the phone, etc...she was real busy w/school and work...so I started dating another girl and stood her up the night I did have planned to go out with her...I did call her, but gave a lame excuse. wound up in LTR with girl 2...girl 1 and I went out after girl 2 and I broke up...girl 2 sees girl 1 and I at a concert (that i'd invited girl 2 to) and causes a major scene cussin me up one side and down the other...girl 1 winds up with some craziness...few months later- girl 1 and I go out again...then again 2 nights later...telling me how she really wanted me and felt like she might have found her true love...

then I met girl 1's friend....I was completely infatuated...

anyhow...

you get the idea.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 58
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History
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/5/2010 1:24:33 AM
1. She had a college degree, and wanted to be a SAHM. And she couldn't spell to save her life.

2. She was a single mom that turned out to have an addiction to pain medication

3. She dropped out of college for the second time, was jobless, car-less, and literally told me that she was waiting for someone to come into her life and replace her father.
 sunbeach95
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 59
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/5/2010 7:03:33 AM
Some examples.

1. Constant complaining about many things. The waitstaff, his job, ex-girlfriend etc.
2. Making sexual or racist comments.
3. Extremely poor table manners.
4. Bad hygiene / body odor.
5. Finding out that he was married or had a girlfriend.
6. Not having much in common.
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 60
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/26/2010 8:04:29 AM
ummm, various reasons.

1. she did not look like her picture at all.
2. we didnt have enough common interests or view points on important topics. (this is more applicable if you met the person LIVE and not online where you chat for a few days probably)
3. a vegetarian/vegan who gives me a schpeel about how soooooo much better it is for you then eating meat as we have supper and I'm having a steak or something totally meaty (that I find delicious)
4. just did not feel that spark, you figure at first you might just be both nervous and what not, so you give it more chances but in the end realize its not working out.
5. She doesn't believe in having sex before you're married.
6. The sexual chemistry isn't there...or you've done the deed and thought it was horrible and utterly irredeemable.
7. She said either on her profile or in conversation that she was a lil bit out of shape or had like 10lbs to lose...we met up and 10lbs would have pretty much only been a good start to lose.
8. Gremlin teeth...totally messed up, rotted/yellow never seen a dentist teeth.


Some the things i've experienced in my life.
 CrimsonRealityXRS
Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 61
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/27/2010 10:24:23 PM
Most of the time when I stopped seeing them, it was because they had either misled me in some way, or temporarily "vanished". I had two different guys tell me that they didn't smoke, and then later on ask me if its ok if they have a smoke. One of them admitted to me that he smoked pot regularly.
 citygal95
Joined: 10/14/2010
Msg: 62
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/28/2010 7:18:06 AM
Most of the time it was due to one of following.

1. Not being completely honest with me. For example, one man claimed to be single. Then admitted that he had a girlfriend.
2. Not enough compatibility. Different interests, beliefs etc.
3. General rude or inappriorate behavior. One man showed up 20 minutes late without calling. Then was constantly checking his messages during the date. Another man made of a series of sexual comments to me, was rude to the waitstaff etc.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 63
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/28/2010 3:03:12 PM

1st date had a girl offer to pay, i said no sweetie- I asked you out so i'm paying...she offered again after the 2nd date and I realized, "damn this girl already is not listening to me- it'll only go downhill from here" and did not call back

Your other scenarios are understandable or what not.. but you ran away from a gal because she offered to pay? LOL How does that scare you away?
 E_keys
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 64
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/28/2010 10:37:52 PM
Other side.

A guy I met years ago asked me out to great concerts. After my first date with him, I met somebody else who I was sleeping with every week, but this 1st guy would call on short notice when my bf was busy with his kids or whatever and I'd be like, why not? My bf didn't care which friends I did stuff with when he was busy with his kids. Heck, he was taking them to an even better concert.

The guy was supposed to get that he had become a music buddy. After date #1 I never let him pay more than his half, I never wanted to hang out with him after the show, I never wanted him to touch me or be close. He certainly never asked me what else I was doing with my social life, and the time he called up wanting to come over to my house I said no.

Did this for maybe three months, then a couple months gap went by, then he called again and I mentioned my bf. He said, since when have you had a bf? I said, six months or so.

Well, that would be why this fellow stopped dating me!
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 65
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/29/2010 6:31:16 AM


1st date had a girl offer to pay, i said no sweetie- I asked you out so i'm paying...she offered again after the 2nd date and I realized, "damn this girl already is not listening to me- it'll only go downhill from here" and did not call back


Your other scenarios are understandable or what not.. but you ran away from a gal because she offered to pay? LOL How does that scare you away?


I'm baffled by this one as well. Isn't it polite to at least offer to pay? As long as she accepted graciously when you told her you were paying, what on earth is the problem with her offering? Someone paying for me on the first date does not, in my opinion, indicate that they have just offered to pay on every date thereafter.
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 66
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/29/2010 7:40:46 AM
She was testing me..... All the funking time..... Everything was a test..... Funking scorpion....stepped on it and squished the heck of it....ooppsie daisy ! - my bad!
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/19/2010
Msg: 67
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/29/2010 11:31:07 AM
well, early on in I many times had what I called the "sixth date curse".

We would be getting to know each other and they had this amazing comfortable persona; we clicked in terms of wants, personality, and style; and then on the sixth date they would completely morph into this stranger taht I didn't know.

It was like they finally were showing who they were, and who they were was NOTHING like they projected the first five dates; and there was no compatability or comfortableness in who they turned into. Most were incredibly closed, very controlling, hyper possessive and extremely um domineering. Happened exactly the same way with several people; quit dating for a year after hitting that the sixth time; to get my radar fixed..


The first person I was talked into dating exclusively, found out twelve weeks into it they were married with a 7 year old. (they had claimed divorced, available and very much wanting to have a relationhsip with me as well as claiming they were in love with me; yet weren't honest about anything)


the second person I was talked into dating exclusively, found out two weeks into it they were living in a sexual relationship with their boss...


sometimes it's just that it feels more like you're an option and they want you available but are actively scoping for who they really want (or wanting to meet as many people as possible) and I want someone where we really float each other's boats... mentally, physically and emotionally.

Sometimes too busy of schedules..i don't htink that's a problem if both people value carving time; but time is an easy out if someone really doesn't want to date someone I think.

lots of reasons. But most of the time it was because of dishonesty in the beginning; and finding out the hard way who I thought I was dating and who I was dating were totally different from each other.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 68
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/29/2010 1:09:19 PM
I don't care for men that talk about the possibility of the two of us being in a relationship, when it was just our first friggin meeting.

Couldn't keep their hands off of me for two seconds.

Wah wah...
 23401woxx
Joined: 8/31/2010
Msg: 69
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/29/2010 10:09:06 PM
I stopped dating this guy after he got mad at me for not wanting to pay $400 price of some tickets for a freaking baseball game.... Marlins vs Nationals.
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 70
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/30/2010 9:43:42 AM
Sheesh, there are as many reasons people lose interest as grains of sand on a beach...lol.

I've had instances where I met the woman and she was chatty and animated throughout the whole conversation, so logically assumed she was interested, only to get a Dear John email when I got home saying I just didn't "do it" for her.

Other times the woman acted like a deaf mute and it felt like pulling teeth to get something out of her, so I thought no chemistry and didn't follow up. I get an email three days later chastising me for not calling her, that couldn't I "tell" she was into me?

I stopped trying to figure out the machinations behind behaviors a long time ago. I would just write a polite thank you after a meeting and leave it up to the woman if she wanted to pursue further.

Even when there's "mutual" interest (gotta have both), there is no guarantee something about her personality, behavior, or social circumstances might trigger red flags later. She could say the same about me. All the first few get-togethers are feeling out processes. There is no way people can "know" someone after a few dates because people are usually on their most inoffensive, well-behaved best.

Other times I know within a short time of meeting it's not going to happen. Obviously, physical attraction's a key (which I'm sure goes for the woman, too) but I could find her personality extremely obnoxious and toxic. She could look lik a Victoria's Secret model, but if her core is rotten I don't want to have anything to do with her.

I've also had instances where within 30 seconds of sitting down she's answering cell calls, or even walks into the meeting "on" her phone as she's greeting me? To me that's a deal breaker from the get go. I'll politely finish the date but won't follow up. If the woman can't keep a damn cell phone off for 30 minutes she's way too wired into it.

As for who pays, I've avoided doing first dates as dinners or activities that require a decent outlay of money. I'm not someone's free ride. If the woman volunteers to go dutch I'll graciously accept, but I'm not going to browbeat her into it. Coffee at a bookstore or restaurant is perfectly fine for the first date or two. I can always broach the subject of what she thinks about who pays in the dating process during that time and get a good idea where she stands. If I get "any" impression she thinks the guy "should" pay because that's what's "expected" of him I lose interest very fast. There are many women who look good enough to have men fall over themselves to pay for them. Fine, they can date them. I'm not so desperate to be in a relationship that I have to go broke searching for a compatible partner.
 ChillinChill
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 71
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/30/2010 5:36:48 PM
If a man invites me to dinner. I allow him to pay. It was his invitation. I don't offer to pay.

If I invite him to my house for dinner, I don't show him the grocery slip and ask him to pay for half the food bill. That would be considered rude and inane as in SILLY.

I usually reciprocate in some way. I brought a box of chocolate covered cherries to my last date and gave them to him after dinner. He had mentioned in one of our first emails that I looked better than chocolate covered cherries and that those were his favorite candy.
He told me the gesture was very sweet (no pun intended).

I've never had a man complain about paying for a meal. NEVER. When I have asked the man out and extended the invitation,suggested the restaurant within my means. I am always prepared to pay, but the men have never allowed it. They have always paid. NO COMPLAINT.

The bottom line for me after a first meet is usually chemistry. If we can not connect on any level intellectually, emotionally, spiritually or physically. I don't accept an invitation for a first date. There has to be some kind of foundation, something the person brings to a face to face meeting that is beyond texting communication, emails or phone calls. It's not always a tangible thing, but I usually KNOW if I want to continue seeing a man after a first meet. It's a vibe, intuative maybe instinctual.

I can be honest if I don't think I want to date the person again... I don't leave men hanging or lie to them and then disappear. I can usually say upfront that I don't think that we could be more than friends. That usually ends things because the guy isn't looking for a friend. He wants more. C'est la vie.
 Prrheart
Joined: 10/26/2010
Msg: 72
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/30/2010 6:07:57 PM
They didn't get my sense of humour.

They weren't all over me before the date was over ( but this only counts if it was mutual ).

They were too quiet.

They didn't know how to shut up ( a conversation is an exchange not a lecture because you think you're so fascinating I won't want to speak , I'll prefer to sit with my jaw down to my feet )

They belched the alphabet and expected me to pop a boner

They met me in the parking lot on a motorbike and my anus shivered, then tapped me on the shoulder and said " um...I don't think she's the one "

... that's enough for now
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 73
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/30/2010 8:31:55 PM
"They didn't get my sense of humour"

Yes, that is a big one for me too.

I went out with a guy for about a month, he got to meet a few of my friends
at a birthday party and I was telling a story, everybody was laughing EXCEPT
him, my friends happen to think I am funny (that's why they are my friends)

I have noticed that too, when we were alone, he would "try" to smile when i said something funny, followed by a long uncomfortable silence

Plus he never said ONE funny thing to me either, but he was so smart, we talked about
everything.

So, while at the party, I sent one of my friends to ask him if he thought I was funny

He said to him, "yes, I think she is, because everybody laughs when she tells stories, but I guess it's just not my kind of humor"

That was it!
It would be like living with an Opera singer and your BF HATES that kind of music
 aliveandwell314
Joined: 10/7/2010
Msg: 74
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/30/2010 11:04:33 PM
Why I didnt date them anymore....

unmotivated to do anything but watch TV
hid a cocaine habit from me
horrible kisser that was embarassing to be around
boring boring boring
too whiny/couldnt get over ex
stopped calling me with no explanation
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 75
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/31/2010 7:27:49 AM
If I invite him to my house for dinner, I don't show him the grocery slip and ask him to pay for half the food bill. That would be considered rude and inane as in SILLY.

I usually reciprocate in some way. I brought a box of chocolate covered cherries to my last date and gave them to him after dinner. He had mentioned in one of our first emails that I looked better than chocolate covered cherries and that those were his favorite candy. He told me the gesture was very sweet (no pun intended).

I've never had a man complain about paying for a meal. NEVER. When I have asked the man out and extended the invitation,suggested the restaurant within my means. I am always prepared to pay, but the men have never allowed it. They have always paid. NO COMPLAINT.


How many times have you asked a guy out and told him upfront you'd pay for everything? Does it even enter your mind?

Many men think it's their "duty" to pay for their date's meal. Most women would agree. The mindset is "He asked 'me' out, so he should pay, right?" Many men are actually "insulted" if a woman even chips in for a date. All that tells you is old attitudes and behaviors die hard.

It's been a mixed bag for me. Some women tell me upfront, without any prompting, they don't want me to pay for everything (rare, but it happens). But overall most assume I'll be paying. Even women that say they have no problem paying their half communicate a certain disdain and irritation about it. I would never have her pay for me, btw. I can pay for myself. This is about sharing expenses, not who pays for the other.

Face it, society is still geared to the mindset that in the dating process the man takes the initiative, pursues, asks the woman out, so therefore pays. I've had very, very few instances where the woman made first contact, pursued me, asked me out, and volunteered to pay for everything. It just doesn't happen that often. Many in both genders would say that's how it should be, and I'm not about to say otherwise. I'm not about to argue societal dating norms because I know I can't change them. My view is, at present, if the protocol is men are supposed to pursue and wine and dine in the dating process they better either find their soul mates very quickly, or have a huge dating bank fund saved up to tap when needed, or be rich enough to date without budget restrictions.
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