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 Prrheart
Joined: 10/26/2010
Msg: 72
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasonsPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
They didn't get my sense of humour.

They weren't all over me before the date was over ( but this only counts if it was mutual ).

They were too quiet.

They didn't know how to shut up ( a conversation is an exchange not a lecture because you think you're so fascinating I won't want to speak , I'll prefer to sit with my jaw down to my feet )

They belched the alphabet and expected me to pop a boner

They met me in the parking lot on a motorbike and my anus shivered, then tapped me on the shoulder and said " um...I don't think she's the one "

... that's enough for now
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 73
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/30/2010 8:31:55 PM
"They didn't get my sense of humour"

Yes, that is a big one for me too.

I went out with a guy for about a month, he got to meet a few of my friends
at a birthday party and I was telling a story, everybody was laughing EXCEPT
him, my friends happen to think I am funny (that's why they are my friends)

I have noticed that too, when we were alone, he would "try" to smile when i said something funny, followed by a long uncomfortable silence

Plus he never said ONE funny thing to me either, but he was so smart, we talked about
everything.

So, while at the party, I sent one of my friends to ask him if he thought I was funny

He said to him, "yes, I think she is, because everybody laughs when she tells stories, but I guess it's just not my kind of humor"

That was it!
It would be like living with an Opera singer and your BF HATES that kind of music
 aliveandwell314
Joined: 10/7/2010
Msg: 74
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/30/2010 11:04:33 PM
Why I didnt date them anymore....

unmotivated to do anything but watch TV
hid a cocaine habit from me
horrible kisser that was embarassing to be around
boring boring boring
too whiny/couldnt get over ex
stopped calling me with no explanation
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 75
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/31/2010 7:27:49 AM
If I invite him to my house for dinner, I don't show him the grocery slip and ask him to pay for half the food bill. That would be considered rude and inane as in SILLY.

I usually reciprocate in some way. I brought a box of chocolate covered cherries to my last date and gave them to him after dinner. He had mentioned in one of our first emails that I looked better than chocolate covered cherries and that those were his favorite candy. He told me the gesture was very sweet (no pun intended).

I've never had a man complain about paying for a meal. NEVER. When I have asked the man out and extended the invitation,suggested the restaurant within my means. I am always prepared to pay, but the men have never allowed it. They have always paid. NO COMPLAINT.


How many times have you asked a guy out and told him upfront you'd pay for everything? Does it even enter your mind?

Many men think it's their "duty" to pay for their date's meal. Most women would agree. The mindset is "He asked 'me' out, so he should pay, right?" Many men are actually "insulted" if a woman even chips in for a date. All that tells you is old attitudes and behaviors die hard.

It's been a mixed bag for me. Some women tell me upfront, without any prompting, they don't want me to pay for everything (rare, but it happens). But overall most assume I'll be paying. Even women that say they have no problem paying their half communicate a certain disdain and irritation about it. I would never have her pay for me, btw. I can pay for myself. This is about sharing expenses, not who pays for the other.

Face it, society is still geared to the mindset that in the dating process the man takes the initiative, pursues, asks the woman out, so therefore pays. I've had very, very few instances where the woman made first contact, pursued me, asked me out, and volunteered to pay for everything. It just doesn't happen that often. Many in both genders would say that's how it should be, and I'm not about to say otherwise. I'm not about to argue societal dating norms because I know I can't change them. My view is, at present, if the protocol is men are supposed to pursue and wine and dine in the dating process they better either find their soul mates very quickly, or have a huge dating bank fund saved up to tap when needed, or be rich enough to date without budget restrictions.
 MaccaFan
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 76
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/31/2010 1:04:51 PM
Hey!!
I have no problem paying for dinner, concert tickets, etc.....
We did that a number of times, Mo!

If I want to go somewhere I get the tix then ask someone to go with me-usually the other person gets dinner-
I have no problem with that-I NEVER think the man should pick up the tab all the time..
NEVER.
I am an equally opportunity dater....
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 77
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/31/2010 9:17:31 PM
just didn't feel attraction with the date. We got along, laughed, were able to carry a conversation it just didn't work out. It happens... move on.
 _eunique
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 78
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/6/2011 12:36:35 PM
# 1 reason: I played detective and found lies. This is not a good way to start a relationship of any kind.

#2 reason: They were still bitter about their last relationship. I know the girl's name, where she worked/lived, and what "her" problem was because he was Mr Wonderful and did no wrong. This is when they think I'm playing a headshrink.

#3 reason: He was a cheapskate. If I see something I want, and I can afford it, I get it! If I feel like I'd have to ask if its okay to get cheese on my burger bc he's a penny pincher, we are not gonna be a good match. I dont know what occupation this would equal to, maybe a negotiator?

Those are the main reasons why I'll step and leave a man alone.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 79
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/6/2011 1:28:25 PM
Gawd this thread was hilarious!!! It was also sad in a way, I've been on here off and on for 5 years, it's always the same things. But I'll give it wack, my style!!!

I could share some tales, some are funny, others pathetic, others seem insane.

The woman who hid at the door of the resaurant, behind a rubber plant, because she didn't know if she trusted me! Luv that one, why did you accept the date?

The woman who during a first date(few emails, few phones before) as the check came for dinner, I was paying, leaned over and said "my place or yours?" A little stunned I said why don't we get to know each other a little better first. (oh well WRONG answer!) She stands up in the crowded resaurant and at the top of her lungs says "WHAT I'm not good enough for you to sleep with!!!" All I wanted at that point was too crawl under the table cloth! The waiter returned I signed the receipt and fled!!!

The woman who after the first date asked "This means we're exclusive now right?

There are a few more as gut wretching, but have had some good ones as well.

I guess for me, the main reason is "who they are"! You see a pic, or read a profile and think "hey this could be a fun date". So you email, then phone and finally date. Date one is usually OK, date 2 it starts to get hinky! Things they say, don't jibe with what they had on the profile. Date 3, now they're totally comfortable with you. They totally drop the facade that was their profile. You sit there and think WTF! am I crazy, or is this some kind of jeckle/hyde thing. Then comes that "phone call" the next day, where you find yourself telling her we're not a match, and she says things like "it was going so well I thought" or the famous "give it some more time" or "I don't get it, we're perfect together". You end it as well as you can and move on.

Although I would like to make 2 observations on posts I read. The first to the woman with the "great concerts" guy, while she had a BF! If you weren't feelin it, you shouldn't have been datin him! You never let him pay for more than half? Do you women really buy this sh1t? He should have asked if I had a bf? Oh I see, so he should either have a crystal ball or ask before each date, "are you seein someone?"

This brings me to my second point.

This continuous BS about if the guy doesn't pay, he's cheap. Or you expect him to pay because that's how you want it. Which is of course why no women called the concert lady out on her sh1t! What she did was wrong! Further if a guy did that and posted it, you'd all be howling like banshee's! It'd be "get out the torches and let's fry his azz!"

Now I wan to be clear, cause I'm a freakin dinosaur, I pay for dates, it's how I was raised, I've done well in life, so I'm OK with it.

Younger guys are looking for different. In this sh1tty economy, he may not be makng the bucks he used too. Better still you have a job don't you? Why should women get 2 dates in a week with 2 different guys, keep the money and the moths in their wallets and let the guy pay the whole bill? That may mean he gets one date, and that's his entertainment for the week?

But then you have the nerve to post that men who don't pay are cheap! You want cheap, go to the nearest mirror and have a look!
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 80
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/6/2011 5:18:00 PM
riding the cubicle monkey down the aisle is usually enough
 Naadirah
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 81
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/6/2011 7:14:00 PM
For my last date it was a few things, but the top of the list was he whined. Everything from the tone of his voice to the subject of conversation. The 2nd was that he was on a restricted license, couldn't drive after 8 pm. He lived over 60 miles away and was expecting to actively date without proper transportation. 3rd he wasn't honest on his profile, he stated he was divorced but he had not even seen the attorney yet and in NC there is a mandatory one year separation. He claims his wife left in spring 2010. Truthfully, I don't blame her.

He was attractive, fit, etc... But looks are not enough for me.

P.S. Who is paying for a date should not be the reason. If this is important, then it should be brought up prior to. I always bring enough cash to pay for my way if not both. Yes, I have even paid for a first date. We met at a bar and grill, I had not eaten yet so I ordered. My portion was 3 drinks and dinner to his 2 beers. While he wasnt looking, I took care of the bill. He was very appreciative. I do offer to pay my part or tip and usually the man declines the offer.
 Naadirah
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 82
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/6/2011 7:59:06 PM
I have to add this one. It was about date 6 and he showed up on his ex-girlfriend's motorcycle (purple and green with fairies). He was watching her stuff while she was doing 24 months in jail. This after I met the friends and family. No wonder mom & grandma loved me. ;)
 toadfan
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 83
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/6/2011 8:09:41 PM
"That's hardly a reason to quit dating someone.. You could have spoken up to the woman and explained to her that you feel that going dutch would be a great idea without having to go into details of you not havin money.."

I would have to agree with this reply. You have to learn to communicate, after all right?
Although, I would be concerned about the no "thank you", and would find that disrespectful.
 FlameNFire
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 84
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/7/2011 7:33:55 AM
One guy that I kind of liked could not stop talking about his divorce, how unfair, what a monster his ex was. Then he started telling me all about his psycho stalker from here on POF, and how she made him feel good but "She has soo many issues, and she is sooo psycho", etc. Give me a break.

Another was because he told me about meeting a girl on a first date, she was cute, nice, etc until he discovered she was missing part of one arm. He looked at it, caught her eye and made a face and ended the date and walked out on her. He saw her in the parking lot crying and he had the nerve to say how "traumatized" he was by this!!!! No way! What a jerk!

Another kept insisting after about 10 minutes into the meeting that we were soul mates. I kept trying to get him to back off, saying I wasn't looking for anything serious and he just kept arguing and telling me all his plans on how he was going to change my mind. Scared of that...
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 85
view profile
History
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/7/2011 7:44:43 AM
# 1 reason: I played detective and found lies. This is not a good way to start a relationship of any kind.

#2 reason: They were still bitter about their last relationship. I know the girl's name, where she worked/lived, and what "her" problem was because he was Mr Wonderful and did no wrong. This is when they think I'm playing a headshrink.

#3 reason: He was a cheapskate. If I see something I want, and I can afford it, I get it! If I feel like I'd have to ask if its okay to get cheese on my burger bc he's a penny pincher, we are not gonna be a good match. I dont know what occupation this would equal to, maybe a negotiator?


Do you play; detective/head shrink/negotiator, with all of your dates, interests?
If so..that is really a turn off.

Now, I can see someone raising an eyebrow about some tall tales being told, but what you have written tells me that you do this to your dates/interests, and that is a turn off.

What do YOU bring to the table to say you..are worthy of investigating, analyzing, demanding someone else? Just because you have a slot for a tab?
 _eunique
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 86
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/7/2011 3:05:34 PM
@ Pingshooter:

The art of playing these "roles" is being covert about it. I dont come in with the magnifying glass or taking swabs to test for DNA. Yes, I'd agree thats a turnoff, but you have to be on guard for people who think you believe anything they'd say. I play an actress too; Best supporting actress in an inconspicuous role goes to......(LOL)

Trust is given when trust is earned.

You asked what do I bring to the table? The same things I want in return: respect, honesty, and no mentioning (over & over) of my ex(es). Thats not too much to ask for when dating someone.

As to the early posts, I have no problem treating a man out to a date, or even paying my own way. I just see red flags when they talk about money problems because many women have lost their money to someone who claimed they loved them. Maybe I should search a thread on that one.
 LIWOMAN1952
Joined: 12/4/2010
Msg: 87
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/7/2011 3:20:56 PM
Last man I met on here was so hung up on his ex-wife
After 3 dates I knew more about her than I did him
A few times he said " I shouldn't be talking about her so much " and I told him I totally agreed.... nope that didnt stop him
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 88
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 6/14/2012 6:07:19 PM
This was from awhile ago, but I went on a date with someone who showed up looking nothing like their picture. .they looked 10 years older,and 40-50 lbs heavier. On top of that, they told me I could get my own food, and they would get theirs.. Now, I don't expect someone to pay entirely, it's nice, but at least make the gesture. Furthermore, when we sat down to eat our food, and have a conversation, he would literally pause the conversation to physically turn his head and look at any attractive woman that passed by. And he actually said he had a good time, and that I should call him if I felt like hanging out. He even mentioned that on one of his previous dates, a woman told him she had to leave 5 minutes after getting there. .(once she saw he posted a very old photo), and he couldn't figure out why. :P
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 89
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 6/14/2012 8:54:43 PM
Good point..Well, this was when I was first starting out online dating. Back then, I was more optimistic,and I thought I would give him the benefit of the doubt. .that he might turn out to be a nice guy. :P Now, if the same thing happened, I would probably do what that woman did, and leave as soon as I saw I had been lied to.
 Mr_Nonchalance
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 90
view profile
History
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 6/14/2012 10:04:38 PM
1.Same like th op after 3 dates did not offer to pay.from past experience women like this dont tend to be giving people and take.you should not have to tell a date to offer after 3 dates it should come natural if she is the giving type.

2.One chic would openly talk about the other guys she was dating,i understand dating til you find the right person but when you openly state your dating around makes you want to put in less effort.

3.another seems like it would take monthes of dating for sex.if a person have had great relationships with less than 3 dates and have had sex your not going to wait for monthes,thats just going backwards.

4.a women my guess who is use to having guys drool all over her made it feel like it was a privilge just to be on a date with her yet she was shallow and dress like i would be stopped because cops would assume she was a hooker and i was her pimp.

5.the interracial dates that went wrong because they expected the bad boy thug/gangsta type of guy,their family would likely not accept me or just tolerate because she could have done worse,also some would go out their way to show they were dating a black dude like it makes them seem unique or different.

6.i have delt with women who are angry and bitter because they have been screwed over by many men or just a certain ex's.i felt like i was being interrogated and judge i have had partners that run well over the double digits.some was so bad i think just one more guy that screwed them over i could end up with my penis chopped off and thrown into the bushes or end up on that show snapped,i just did not like the fact i could be that dude even if im not a bad person.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 91
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 6/14/2012 11:46:34 PM
You should have stipulated for a first meet that you go dutch and for half an hour. Why should a guy pay? She may be earning the same as you or more and it is supposed to be equal rights nowadays.

If you invited her to dinner the second time then sure you pay. If she didnt say thanks she had no manners and after the third date a lot of men expect some sort of sex. You could have mentioned that you are not rich and that she should contribute.
If she disappeared then you know she was not into you. However by itself it would not be a dealbreaker if I were truly interested.
 amore01
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 92
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 6/15/2012 12:06:46 AM
the last guy was not only clingy he was very pushy for a relationship.I could get over the "white goop" that was always around his mouth to even kiss him..was way too much for me.ewww!
 strolly10
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 93
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 6/15/2012 12:47:46 AM
you stopped seeing someone because you took her out and you had to pay for the coffee and then the next few dates? ..welcome to the world of dating sweetie, ..... wake up and "smell" the coffee instead of only paying for it lol
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 94
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:14:18 AM
2.One chic would openly talk about the other guys she was dating,i understand dating til you find the right person but when you openly state your dating around makes you want to put in less effort.

I think it's good to play "zone" coverage and not "one on one" coverage (football analogy) when in the Pre-Dating phase of things. If you hit it off repeatedly a few times and have no other rare options on the table, then you go one-on-one. But if you TELL them that, it comes across as if you're not that into them. Just as with other personal stuff, you shouldn't open up a can of worms while in that getting-to-know-ya/feeling-out pre-season phase.

I think people lack interest in someone, who's in their league, due to small reasons, and so many factors can be involved. The closer you are with someone, the less random factors play a role, and it's more about you and/or how you-and-they mesh.

Approaching & "picking up" a girl (conversation, banter, getting a #) has a lot of factors involved. If you're not a stand-out 'hot' guy in their eyes, many little things can play a role, and it's a role of the dice for you many times. She could be stewing over an recent ex. You could remind her of a guy she doesn't like. Or a guy she has liked (ball bouncing your way). Her mood could be off. You're in the window-shopping phase, and like some shoppers, one day they'll look through the window and ponder a bit and walk away, and another day they could be more interested and walk inside the store.

When you are in the Pre-Dating phase (usually first few dates or handful of pseudo-dates), them stepping away has more to do with you, although they could have just gone with the flow because of a lack of 'great' prospects, and you were good enough... but a 'great' prospect came along... or an ex... or you weren't fitting what jived with her, which can vary from one year to the next.

When you are actually Dating (where it's a given that you're going to see them again and again, no plans required), then I think that has more to do with your personality, and bigger factors are more common as to why. But many times, you don't end up meshing, any honeymoon phase or 1st-week-at-work feeling has passed, and you're both how you really really are.
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 95
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:08:30 PM
I am extremely clear upfront about who I am what I am and am NOT looking for. What has happened many times is he withhold crucial info which is a dealbreaker, hoping he can hook me and then change my mind. I don't need my mind changed though. I've had enough experience to have both wisdom and clarity, so I don't beat around the bush. I say:this is how I am, take it or leave it. 'He' wasn't quite so telling, which ruined the trust factor and my interest the times this has happened. I'm good the way I am and won't lower my dealbreakers just so he can have his way with.. me.
 Misty-Misty26
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 96
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 6/16/2012 8:57:18 AM
For me the first date goes that the tubes as soon as the guy takes out his cell phone to send or recieve a text. I cannot stand it, and it's just plain rude. I was on a date with this guy, we went bowling, and lets just say i really suck at it. So, instead of him being alittle encoruaging, he kinda ridiculed my bowling ability all through out. I were already embarrassed enough. After that we went to a coffee shop for cookie. I were talking to him about my interestes and he instantly take out his phone and starts texting. He did it twice, and cut me off and said he had to meet someone....but hurried up and recanted. Our cars were parked next to each other n i give him a light hug and he tries to go in for a kiss. I move and he get my cheek. UGH! I was so disgusted.

I never sopke to him again. I had another date similiar to that. Except he didnt get to sneak a kiss. The moment he started texting I was out!
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