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 realisticromantic
Joined: 7/27/2011
Msg: 161
being so bitter towards an exPage 10 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I watched Carrie Fishers one woman show on HBO the other night one of her original quotes that really stuck in my head was "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the OTHER person to die"
 DeviantAJ
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 162
being so bitter towards an ex
Posted: 8/26/2011 5:26:16 AM
I am trying to not be bitter towards my ex. For the reason that I did fall deeply in love with her for the person she was. But the problem I'm having that is creating some bitterness in me, is the little respect she had for me. She broke up with me for reasons she never once mentioned to me in our time together, after she had told me she was scared I'd leave her and that she wanted to be with me. And then she hated and blamed me after for honestly just not understanding what had gone wrong. I never yelled, got angry or insulted her. I just genuinely wanted to find out where things slipped. She said she would blame me forever for breaking her friend trust and said I made her hate me by bringing this all up.

I just wanted to understand. But relationships I've learnt have a lot of misunderstandings =(.

I wrote her a very firm letter. Which I regret a little, but am more convinced I needed to. I tried not to be mean or hateful, just firm and truthful, to show her how what she did hurt me so bad, and how I never did anything to her to deserve the way she did treat me, a little communication a little respect would've gone a long way.

But it's hard not to harbour some bitterness. I loved her and she felt very little for me. And I'm having a hard time like some of the posters here, because my love faked and pretended for certain things and I never will understand why. And the way she broke it off was to tell me she never felt anything for me. LOL a bit dramatic, but very hurtful =(. But I think the point when I can move on properly, is to not feel bitterness towards her, but to just accept it and move on. But I'm working on that at the moment.
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 163
being so bitter towards an ex
Posted: 8/26/2011 6:42:09 AM

Isn't this a person you claimed to have loved once?? The person you shared some of your life with. How can you call them things like the"spawn of satin" "A hole" the "the Anti Christ"


No it's not. I asked her on more than one occasion, "Who the fvck are you, and what did you do with my girlfriend?"

Don't confuse bitterness with hatred..
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 164
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being so bitter towards an ex
Posted: 8/26/2011 7:02:30 AM

Isn't this a person you claimed to have loved once?? The person you shared some of your life with. How can you call them things like the"spawn of satin" "A hole" the "the Anti Christ"

No it's not. I asked her on more than one occasion, "Who the fvck are you, and what did you do with my girlfriend?"


lol. That's pretty funny, Viper. I'm guilty of the name calling thing. Although I've always been great about taking personal responsibility for my decisions, I have called some exs names that are less than flattering. (If the shoe fits...) But I have others who are still great friends, that I would never call any derogatory names.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 165
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being so bitter towards an ex
Posted: 8/26/2011 7:12:33 AM

call them things like the"spawn of satin" "A hole" the "the Anti Christ'

When I hear someone talk about their exes badly it makes me run. If you harbor so much resentment against someone that you can't control your emotions ===> you're not over them yet. What I wonder is why are they dating? Are they looking for an emotional punching bag to take those negative emotions out on? Or do they think that finding someone else will make the hurt magically go away?
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 166
being so bitter towards an ex
Posted: 8/26/2011 1:27:43 PM
I do my best to avoid interacting with those recently divorced or separated because it has been my experience, generally speaking, they are just not ready for dating. For the few that somehow manage to get through my screening and meet IRL, I seemed to be viewed as a captive audience for them to vent. How they believe this will make a good impression on a potential partner is beyond me. I would honestly really rather watch the paint dry then listen to an angry/bitter person drone on and on about their evil ex.

The way I see it, there are many out there who lack 'emotional resilience', defined as "the ability of an individual to positively adjust to adversity". Emotional resilience gives us the ability to pick ourselves up and move on in a positive way with our lives. However, this is a process and not often a linear one. For some the process is very long and arduous and for others it would appear easier and faster. Consequently, we encounter people where they are at and it is often at a place vastly different than our own.

Some people appear to have an easier time with forgiveness than others. To forgive is a verb, an action word, also a process which is not often linear. It has to be learned and it has to be practiced. Some are just better at practicing than others. Some are never able to forgive and some never want to. The reasons are as many as stars in our universe.

Instead of being critical of others who may be experiencing negative emotions, I find it better just to accept that this is where they are at, no more no less than where I myself am at in life. I wouldn't personally choose to interect with someone who is still experiencing negative emotions originating from a failed relationship. I choose to just accept the fact...and say, "next".


 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 167
being so bitter towards an ex
Posted: 8/26/2011 1:36:04 PM
we are bitter because we love our ex so much but they just continually use and abuse us. = (
 timbo1hot
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 168
being so bitter towards an ex
Posted: 8/26/2011 1:41:55 PM
My bitterness result's from an ex that uses my son to hurt me because I wouldn't put up with her. Nuff said.
 timbo1hot
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 169
being so bitter towards an ex
Posted: 8/26/2011 2:08:19 PM
I've never been bitter with an ex until forced by the court system to tolerate her. What can you do?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 170
being so bitter towards an ex
Posted: 8/26/2011 2:41:09 PM
What happened to the instant chemistry and knowing in 4.6385 seconds that the stranger you met is the perfect person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Especially the people who claim "My instincts and gut feeling is never wrong".
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 171
being so bitter towards an ex
Posted: 8/26/2011 3:14:59 PM
Instant cure for bitterness: A Weatherby 550 Mark II with a 20x sniper scope and some high ground.
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