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 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 58
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
So there are guys like that as well as women.


Yes there are, it goes both ways. In any case, the point I was trying to make was that looks are obviously important to me, otherwise I wouldn't have given him my phone number right?

With that being said, I have also been drawn in by men that I initially did not find attractive, but after getting to know them, I realized that they had depth, had substance and I began to feel differently towards them. Therefore, making them far more attractive, far more appealing than their goodlooking counterparts.




...mae
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 61
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/5/2010 8:08:56 PM
But for men it's different, a 45 year old man can still marry an 18 year old girl and have children. That's the way God wants things, and you have to obey God's comandments

For God's sake, let's explore the world beyond the POF's 45-year arbitrary limit.

With God's blessing (and a proper diet - including beans and cucumbers as endorsed by posters in other related forum threads), even a 65-year old man can still have children.
It may come to you as surprise, that some 65-year old women have done it lately, too.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 64
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/5/2010 9:26:22 PM
Let's face it, there has to be some chemistry, and part of that chemistry is going to come in the looks department. Having said that, I usually find, the more I get to know someone, they usually get more or less attractive based on their personality. Those who tend to be liberal, have integrity, a good sense of humor and self confidence tend to improve in the looks department. And those who are bitter, negative and loathe life take on a world of ugly.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 68
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/6/2010 5:50:56 PM
I think we are kidding ourselves if we say "I'm not interested in looks". Of course we are, it's the creatures that we are. That being said, "looks" are indeed a relative thing. I want the physical attraction, but the mental/spiritual attraction is equally important and, at the end of the day, far more enduring. I have, on a rare instance or two, dated a couple very attractive women, and almost without exception they turned out to be "queen bees". They possessed the attitude that I should feel blessed just to be in their company. Who needs that? I suppose the one-night-standers, but it was an evening of fluff and ego to me and a few hours of my life I wish I could have back! Not all great-looking ladies or good-looking men are like that, but I tend to stay away from the barbie-dolls.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 71
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/6/2010 10:10:27 PM
Ayesha
I think for women over 40 looks should not matter anymore because you are old by then. But for men it's different, a 45 year old man can still marry an 18 year old girl and have children. That's the way God wants things, and you have to obey God's comandments.


Ayesha, you go ahead ma'am and stick with God's plan, me and some other folks here we have different plans that include bouts of wild sex regardless of our almost expiring "best by" date, but thanks anyway for reminding us that we have to hurry up....


 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 72
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/6/2010 10:32:59 PM

me and some other folks here we have different plans that include bouts of wild sex regardless of our almost expiring "best by" date, but thanks anyway for reminding us that we have to hurry up....



...Luckily for me when I was manufactured I came with no expiry date... so my shelf life is unlimited. But....I do come with a "Best Used Before Date" Waiting, waiting.....

...mae
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 74
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/8/2010 4:21:06 AM
i like my men a little "rugged" looking...
i've found some, i repeat, some, really good looking guys i've been involved with to be a little conceited,
probably because of the ease they've been able to pick up women over the years...

i'll always remember an extremely attractive man years ago telling me he often went out with plain looking women because they were "better in bed"...

give me a man who knows how to have a good time and look after his woman,
i can always shut my eyes...
or turn off the light!...
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 76
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/8/2010 12:57:00 PM
In my experience there are women for whom looks do not matter. I believe that for women that POV works out better than it does for men. I see tons of not so good looking guys with very attractive women. MUCH less often do I see good looking guys with women much less attractive than themselves.
I tried with my last GF. She was presentable enough, but not what I thought of as a pretty woman. I had chosen her for reasons other than looks. Many mutual interests for one, as well I thought she was quite sexy in her own way. I was fine with things as they were, but found her to be very insecure when pretty women paid me any kind of attention. I never disrespected our relationship. I treated them all the same; which means, friendly, but platonic. In the end these issues derailed the relationship.
My take away: I've gone back to dating pretty women. They can be intelligent, sexy and have good character too. Plus, I can honestly and with integrity give compliments on her appearance.
When two people are on the same level in the looks department, looks don't matter.
But if they aren't, there very well may be issues around it. That's been my experience.
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 77
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/8/2010 3:13:06 PM
^^hey cats...i did say "rugged", not butt ugly!...

as for the friend you have a crush on?...
at least you know now what he's made of.
(contrary to this man's belief all men aren't incapable of remaining faithful to their partners, a sentiment often expressed by those looking to excuse their own bad behaviour.)
we all have our own idea of who is attractive.
eg., an extremely good looking female friend of mine thinks her boyfriend is a hottie,
i wouldn't give him a second glance if i didn't know him.
so who's to define "good looks"?...
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 78
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/8/2010 4:27:44 PM
a certain amount of what is considered good looking is in the "eye of the beholder" yes, I grant that. There is also something called aesthetics, which is the study of beauty. There are just some things about a person that have more or less universal appeal. The discipline of aesthetics states that there are reasons why things are considered beautiful and that it's NOT totally subjective.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 81
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/8/2010 7:34:06 PM
I think if you ready the operating instructions they will say Lather Rinse Repeat!


...See, now that's how I get myself into trouble...I never follow instructions properly.


i like my men a little "rugged" looking


Yup. no "pretty boys" for me...I prefer my men rugged looking as well. I used to be just crazy about Sam Elliott and Kris Kristofferson...*.sigh* I heart Kris, even today

...mae
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 82
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/9/2010 2:00:48 PM
I love sexy, older bald men. The trouble is that the ones I meet are either of the "arrogant" variety or the "skinhead-Nazi" variety.....
 weathervanes
Joined: 3/31/2010
Msg: 84
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/9/2010 6:30:13 PM
In my experiences...from POF, all the ladies I've had the pleasure (?) to meet in person are REALLY interested in is the big house, expensive car......looks are just an excuse...
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 86
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/9/2010 7:04:49 PM
In my experiences...from POF, all the ladies I've had the pleasure (?) to meet in person are REALLY interested in is the big house, expensive car......looks are just an excuse...
Man!!! Have I got a POF guy for you to become best buds with!!!! LOL! About 2 yrs ago...at a POF dance; guy asks me to dance; then he asks me what I think about marriage!!!! I told him exactly what I think; that I served my 25 years and got parolled (a lot of murderers do LESS time than that!) THEN....the guy insists on showing me pictures of his house, cars...whatever else he had crammed into his cell phone. I finally walked away and HID among a crowd of people on the OTHER side of the room for the rest of the evening. LOL! 2 years and he STILL messages me occasionally and I'm wondering...WHAT PART of "I AM NOT FOR SALE" does this guy NOT understand! (He's totally not a bad looking guy at all....I'm just really...NOT for sale)
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 87
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/9/2010 7:55:57 PM

In my experiences...from POF, all the ladies I've had the pleasure (?) to meet in person are REALLY interested in is the big house, expensive car......looks are just an excuse...

You haven't met me yet... but then, no one else has, either. Nor do I expect anyone to do so, now.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 91
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/10/2010 10:23:08 AM

Well on an intellectual level that may work. However, it is mini me from the nether regions who decides who is attractive or not and he is one stubborn dude.
LOL!!!! I DARE you to go onto the "Older fit men...chasing 25 yr olds" thread and ADMIT that! Hehehehehe!
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 92
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/10/2010 3:34:25 PM

Women start to get interesting around 45.

You got that right!
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 93
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/10/2010 7:02:01 PM
I saw a great deal of beauty in her and as I said I was fine with who and what she was, But as women go, she was plain but presentable ; no crime in and of itself, but a spade is a spade. I find it just easier to date someone I don't need to be less than honest with where my opinions are concerned.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 94
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/10/2010 8:12:45 PM

Ah, Damassteel, you still have much to learn, Little Grasshopper.
You always compliment an ugly woman on her looks and
a beautiful woman on her intelligence because these are things each rarely hears and yearns for.
Surely, if you love a woman you will see beauty in her no matter what she looks like, so to call her beautiful is not a lie.
That's a lovely quote Lil Brooker; and to a "feminine thinker" I can see where it could become one of those "rules to live by": HOWEVER,

masculine thought just doesn't operate that way. There is more value placed on accuracy, honesty, and realism than on "feeling good". In fact....IF feminine thinkers could just stop thinking that "their way is more right...and better and kinder" they would REALIZE that those tenets are in direct conflict with their behavior with masculine thinkers. (who do NOT "feel better" when they're being unrealistic and less than honest).

{Note: please forgive my archaic terminology; as these characteristics were defined by sociologists 100 years ago as being either "feminine or masculine...just as parts of speech are still referred to as "the masculine" and "the feminine": I do believe that the trend these days is to separate them with the terms....."Thinkers" vs. "Feelers".}

As a "Thinker" myself, I would be offended by someone "lying" to me even if they considered it a "compliment". First of all...it would tell me...that they consider me too frail and mentally unstable to deal with honest communication. Second, they would have established themselves as a "liar" who will say ANYTHING to get what they want.
AND, even though I am usually considered to be quite attractive by a large percentage of my male peers...they can express that to me....exactly TWICE. After that...I'm gone...history, LATER! (never) BECAUSE, Third....it's BORING....not flattering.

Consider this: Our appearance really has nothing to do with "us". It was a gift from our parents; one which we had no control over, we didn't work for it. So WHY would we value that (our looks) ABOVE all the characteristics which we posses that we DID work hard to achieve? 1) our intellect. We may be born with the capacity to achieve knowledge and understanding; but if we fail to utilize that capacity...what have we to feel good about? 2) patience...and a sense of humor. Many people fail to comprehend exactly how much long suffering and heartache, hardship, people have to endure and overcome before they achieve a genuinely patient demeanor, peaceful spirit, and a sense of humor that even when things are their darkest....can find something in them to laugh about. (maturity) 3) an moral center. The most corrupt individuals any of us knows PROBABLY thinks of themselves as being highly "moral". The reason they believe this is because they look OUTSIDE of themselves for justification for every thought and deed. When we do this, we can ALWAYS find a justification...for ANYTHING. So, the characteristic of being "personally responsible". Of setting standards for ourselves, without regard to what someone else is doing (and getting away with it) that we believe to be morally wrong....AND without becoming jaded by the knowledge. (Doing what is RIGHT is it's own reward.)
No, indeed; telling someone they are beautiful whether it's true or NOT....is FAR from the most valuable compliment you could give them.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 96
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/11/2010 12:33:00 AM

masculine thought just doesn't operate that way. There is more value placed on accuracy, honesty, and realism than on "feeling good". In fact....IF feminine thinkers could just stop thinking that "their way is more right...and better and kinder" they would REALIZE that those tenets are in direct conflict with their behavior with masculine thinkers. (who do NOT "feel better" when they're being unrealistic and less than honest).

Grandmabooboo, my compliments to you for masterfully articulating that which I clumsily attempted to imply.
And LilBooker,

Ah, Damassteel, you still have much to learn, Little Grasshopper.
You always compliment an ugly woman on her looks and
a beautiful woman on her intelligence because these are things each rarely hears and yearns for.

Surely, if you love a woman you will see beauty in her no matter what she looks like, so to call her beautiful is not a lie.

your presumption that I have still much to learn may in this case be turned back upon yourself.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 99
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/11/2010 11:32:56 AM
And my rejoinder to you was meant in a similar spirit. I don't take anything discussed here too seriously; it's an internet forum after all; it can be provocative, and fun from time to time, that's about it.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 100
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/11/2010 12:16:04 PM

Grandmabooboo, my compliments to you for masterfully articulating that which I clumsily attempted to imply.
And LilBooker,....your presumption that I have still much to learn may in this case be turned back upon yourself.
Thank You! :-) And yes, I agree that what Lil Brooker stated was really a nice thought. It sounds like a bit of advice that every Father should offer his sons....for those times when they're dealing with "feelers". LOL! In fact...that bit of advice may have saved me a few times when I had "feelers" of my own I was trying to deal with! LOL!


I guess I do not need to hear it because I haven't.. it has been shown to me in many other ways that made me feel like a million..
LOL! Cat!!! You're PRETTY!!! LOL! There...now, ya happy!?!?!?! :-) Disclaimer: I would NOT say it if I didn't think it. :-) However; being both a female and a thinking.....I appreciate you MUCH more for you intellectual contributions....and, believe it or not you've frequently (for me) served to bridge an otherwise seemingly insurmountable gap between "feeling and thinking".

See there....to ME....I'm THINKING....geeezzz, she's got a mirror, she KNOWS she's pretty...,what she can't see plainly enough for herself IS....how often her wisdom influences someone else. Get it?
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 104
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/13/2010 8:23:50 AM
Wow - interesting dialog here!

For me, looks are important in the sense that I have to find the person attractive. It's funny, the "love of my life" who passed away - I remember the night we met. I though...oh, he's ok...within a very short time I thought he was the sexiest, most handsome guy on the planet - because as I got to know him, all the attraction grew, even to his looks.

I can "see" someone, and think - he is drop dead hot - but find him unattractive when he opens his mouth. I don't think I am, for the most part, attracted to what would be considered traditionally handsome.

I have on occasion met someone that I can't ever imagine myself kissing goodnight, and I know it's not going to go anywhere.

So - how important are looks over 45 ? Just as important as they ever were. However, that doesn't mean that someone has to fit into society's stereotype of good looking, at least not for me.
 Hippiekinkster
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 105
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/14/2010 8:56:18 PM

How many humans lived past the age of 40 in the year zero ad - very few? The average life expectancy of humans in North America was less than 50 yrs in 1901,The average life expectancy in Colonial America was under 25 years and it goes down as we go farther back in time. If their was a design for us we were never designed to live as long as we do - it is through artificially prolonging our lives with technology ( advances in medicine, easy lifestyles etc) that we live as long as we do.

Yeah, well, basic sanitation and antibiotics are responsible for most of the apparent increase in longevity. Take out infant and child mortality, and you'll find that not much has changed until very recently, and the recent increase in the average age is very gradual (was an article about it in Scientific American recently, IIRC).

I started a thread about this same topic on another "dating" site (Women visually oriented?), and those who actually answered my question, and didn't lose the plot, almost uniformly said that looks were the primary criterion by which they judged a potential partner.

In other words, wimmens are just as shallow and superficial as us mens.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 109
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/16/2010 8:39:02 AM
I have always held a man to the same physical standards that I hold for myself. While I don't require him to be handsome in the classical sense, he does need to be in good physical shape and not be overweight, have nice teeth and skin, and possess good grooming habits. In other words, he needs to make the most out of what he has.
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