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 AUTHOR
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 301
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?Page 13 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
How would that be gold digging her time she lives in a house rent free?


I'm not quite sure what the attraction to "rent free" would be, when I'm sitting mortgage-free. But that's because I didn't buy the biggest house on the freaking block in my hood. Most of my married friends still have a mortgage, but that's because they bought the biggest house on the block and their teen-age children are sucking them dry of their hard-earned cash..........things like cell phones, computers, cars, tuition for post-secondary education, vacations, new clothes/grad clothing, hair styling/fake nails, snack food outside of the home, and the freaking list goes on.

If you clean your own home, good for you.........but you aren't going to take to kindly to a Miss TidyPants who makes a mess and sits on her arse, waiting for you to pick up after her.

Anyway, we had a case like that here in Canada...........second marriages for both people and he had 3 children and she had 2 children. She did not work outside of the home and the house was in Mr.'s name. The step-mother was really good to his children and he was really good to her children. Mr. passed away and Mrs was left in the house alone.........all children had begun a life of their own elsewhere. Mr.'s children filed suit in the court's to have their step-mother evicted from the house........and the judge told the children to WHINE UP another tree. The children were being "victitious litigants."
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 302
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/4/2011 3:04:19 PM

They can still get a quick no fault they just have to work out an agreeable split between themselves.

Guess what? That option is available here, too.
As for the reported reduction in divorces in some European jurisdictions, it could also be said that material interests/economic concerns are causing more people to stay in unhappy marriages. All that tells me is that some people are just all about money because they have it mixed up with love and happiness. Maybe they can't GET love and happiness.

what makes you think I am even remotely bothered, or that I fear anything(except the wrath of God,which is the BEGINNING of wisdom)?


Maybe because you always try and spin my words.

That would be your spin.

Debate is discussing the various sides of an issue...there are many many things in human life and endeavors that are subject to having more than one side,interpretation,perspective, and many times there are several possible courses available to resolve a problem or issue. For someone to bring up a different interpretation, perspective,resolution to a human situation instead of parroting what another person has said is discussion and debate...not 'spin'.

And, let me say this again...I am speaking to the general discussion of the benefits, drawbacks, alternatives and precautions of marriage. Some of your comments, IMO,illustrate the angry, fearful "damaged goods" aspects of divorced people who have not truly healed. They are a launch pad for discussion, not a personal mission and endeavor to "spin(your)words.

Actually opinions can be fallacious when based on half truths and spin.

What, because I have commented that your continual bragging on your "asset protection" and your insistence on taking everyones' posts as if they were specifically all about YOU-rather than general commentary, observation says a lot about YOU that isn't all that flattering, my opinion is based on 'half truth and spin"? What half truth would that be? While I admit I'm not a serial divorcer, I do hear things. While not common, I have had close associations with people going through the divorce process. I know the reason that no-fault divorce and the automatic 50/50 division was done to reduce the load on family and ciil courts, from people wrangling over toasters and the dogs bed. Child support lawa were put into place to reduce the taxpayer burden of supporting children abandoned by a parent(usally the father,at that time) or angry ex-spouses thinking that they could punish the custodial parent by witholding CS.
I'm sorry, but from where I sit, the no-fault divorce and 50/50 asset split statutes were a hole that people dug themselves into. While we use politically correct speech and say "deadbeat parents", I believe the bulk of those parents are still MALE.

I'm not quite sure what the attraction to "rent free" would be,

me either. Sounds too much like "tenancy on sufferance" to me.

The step-mother was really good to his children and he was really good to her children. Mr. passed away and Mrs was left in the house alone.........all children had begun a life of their own elsewhere. Mr.'s children filed suit in the court's to have their step-mother evicted from the house........and the judge told the children to WHINE UP another tree. The children were being "victitious litigants."

Precisely. But it is my understanding that thse cases don't always turn out that well for the step-mother. So you couldn't PAY me enough to live in a mans' house without a legal shield to protect me from summary eviction by the man or his family.

I know that many men get upset when women seem to be prying into their financial picture and planning for asset protection(in terms of catastrophic illness),and disposition/control of said assets in the event of his illness or death.
In the case of 2nd or subsequent marriages and children from previous marriages, more than likely all she wants to do is ascertain whether continuing a courtship and marrying a particular man is not the equivalent of jumping into a financial black hole that could also hoover up HER assets.
Cindy O
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 303
view profile
History
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/4/2011 3:55:14 PM
Very interesting......The very first site that comes up has divorce and family court.



See what I mean. I just struck a cord. I know the law. I graduated from a law school. I'm just not an Attorney.



Mr.'s children filed suit in the court's to have their step-mother evicted from the house........and the judge told the children to WHINE UP another tree. The children were being "victitious litigants."



Yes.... but their are more meanings to it then that. Keep searching. Try some law reviews, or legal papers. Try looking on Martindale=dot=com.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 304
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/4/2011 4:09:01 PM

Precisely. But it is my understanding that thse cases don't always turn out that well for the step-mother. So you couldn't PAY me enough to live in a mans' house without a legal shield to protect me from summary eviction by the man or his family.

I know that many men get upset when women seem to be prying into their financial picture and planning for asset protection(in terms of catastrophic illness),and disposition/control of said assets in the event of his illness or death.


They get upset because they are trying to be deceitful about some or all things, especially in the case of 2nd marriages. They wine and dine you and tell you that they love you(insert big fat raspberry here) and then at the end of their life or your life, it becomes quite apparent just how much he loved you, respected you and valued you as a person who had shared his life of ups and downs.

I've seen it happen, when one or the other is too ill to care for themselves or passes away........they toss you out like yesterday's garbage or they have their children do the NASTY job of disposing of the used up stepmother, who was all too kind and too damn good for the likes of them.

Gosh, my father taught me well! He knows the ugly and evil things that people can sometimes do.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 305
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/4/2011 4:54:02 PM

There is much more to it I have had three attorneys look it over and they all say it is the best pre nup they have ever seen.


I'm with Consigliori. I'd be inclined to think they thought it was the best prenup they'd ever seen for its' potential of generating billable hours.

I'd be more impressed by hearing that it held up to the "understood by a reasonable man(person)" tenet. ( may be more pertinent to sales, agency, fiduiciary, UCC matters , rather than family law, but still...
Cindy O
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 306
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/4/2011 7:21:01 PM

Oh I get it now. If it’s not re-signed the attorney automatically withdraws funds from your account to cover the initial retainer, automatically obtains information about your current situation, and automatically drafts and automatically files the pleadings. Makes sense. I guess where we misunderstood each other was the definition of “automatic”.


No, He is a friend of mine and I do his auto repair. So it's kinda like the barter system.



That must have cost you more than your first two divorces!


One of the benefits of having a superior court judge as a friend. I do work for them as well it is amazing what an attorney will do when their cars are serviced well.


I'm with Consigliori. I'd be inclined to think they thought it was the best prenup they'd ever seen for its' potential of generating billable hours.

I'd be more impressed by hearing that it held up to the "understood by a reasonable man(person)" tenet. ( may be more pertinent to sales, agency, fiduiciary, UCC matters , rather than family law, but still...


As I said above I haven't paid an attorney in years.

As for as holding up not really worried if it does or not I have many stop gates in place to assure I don't get taken to the cleaners by outdated laws and a greedy woman.

Like I said it is nice to have attorney's as friends you can find all kinds of ways to not own things!
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 307
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/4/2011 8:39:10 PM

No, He is a friend of mine and I do his auto repair. So it's kinda like the barter system.



One of the benefits of having a superior court judge as a friend. I do work for them as well it is amazing what an attorney will do when their cars are serviced well.



As I said above I haven't paid an attorney in years.


You guys aren't paying for each other's expertise with actual dollars but you each are paying for it with your time............which is also a form of currency.

So, have you guys decided whose time is more valuable or do you barter hour for hour, as in 1 of his hours is worth 1 of your hours. Geez, I think you guys should get married.

If your attorney has done such a good job of hiding your assets, then what's stopping him from grabbing all the assets after you have "kicked the bucket."
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 308
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/4/2011 9:43:22 PM

So, have you guys decided whose time is more valuable or do you barter hour for hour, as in 1 of his hours is worth 1 of your hours. Geez, I think you guys should get married.


Actually I would have to say I am getting the better end. However they are happy as well.

BTW One of these attorneys is a lady and she was very impressed with the pre nup. She thinks it is very fair to both parties.

And if she wasn't married I might would ask her out.


If your attorney has done such a good job of hiding your assets, then what's stopping him from grabbing all the assets after you have "kicked the bucket."


Because they are already in the names of my children through LLC's and other corporations.

Right now they are my silent partners I run their corporations and have access to the holdings.
Upon my death they will already have the assets.

You and others can speculate all you like about how bitter and angry I am. The truth is I have made a choice not to participate in marriage as it is currently.

I hold no animosity toward the female gender. I just know it is not worth the cost that the current divorce laws allow. If I never marry again I am more than fine with that.

However if I do it will be on terms we both agree on. If we can't agree no worries I am happy being single.

It sure seems one or two here get very upset, that I say so and suggest that it might be prudent for others to consider like protection.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 309
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/4/2011 10:36:38 PM

Right now they are my silent partners I run their corporations and have access to the holdings. Upon my death they will already have the assets.


O.K.....now I understand what you are saying, but WHY do you find it necessary to play such silly little social games? Can you not just be up front with your lady, assuming that you will eventually find one that is a preference over any other. Assets that were acquired prior to marriage are not considered "marital assets for the purpose of division" anyway.

A corporation is considered a separate entity unto itself and it might work, but one would really have to analyze it first.

Anyway, why couldn't a couple rent an apartment together without co-mingling assets....one that either person could afford should one of them "kick the bucket."
If the marriage is a second marriage for both, they most likely have children and both want their assets to go to their immediate family. The apartment should be affordable to either if one of them is left alone, upon the demise of the other.

But I do think it is just plain CRUEL to have your partner booted out the door upon your demise. That final action clearly states to the other, "I really didn't give a damn about you during my life or even after my life had ended."

Does anyone remember the look on William's face after Richard the Bruce betrayed him in the movie, "Braveheart?" Well, Mr Sleepy......that's how your lady would feel if you betrayed her trust in the end.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 310
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 1:04:19 AM


O.K.....now I understand what you are saying, but WHY do you find it necessary to play such silly little social games? Can you not just be up front with your lady, assuming that you will eventually find one that is a preference over any other. Assets that were acquired prior to marriage are not considered "marital assets for the purpose of division" anyway.


Check the law after 10 years even prior assets are fair game. Also there has been cases that prior assets have been included just because money was spent out of it.

Read this...

"Assets accumulated prior to a marriage are exempt from a divorce." Yes, in theory. However, real life dictates otherwise. If funds from an account are commingled, it can become marital property. If even a dime from an account is spent towards the marriage, it can be considered marital property. Buy your child a lollypop from your own account, and a good lawyer will take 1/2 of it for your ex-wife when you divorce. If a woman moves into a home the man owned prior to the marriage, it is not safe from divorce. If she so much as hangs up a sheet of wallpaper, the home is now classified as marital property, and is subject to equal division. (Worse actually, the man can be ejected from the home) Is this fair?




A corporation is considered a separate entity unto itself and it might work, but one would really have to analyze it first.


It works fine the assets are theirs all taxes are paid in their names and I have access to the funds because I run their company.


Anyway, why couldn't a couple rent an apartment together without co-mingling assets....one that either person could afford should one of them "kick the bucket."
If the marriage is a second marriage for both, they most likely have children and both want their assets to go to their immediate family. The apartment should be affordable to either if one of them is left alone, upon the demise of the other.


Why would I rent an apartment? I have a mortgage free home just as you said you do.
No need she is protected with a living estate.
She only looses the right to be there if she decides to move out.

Read the above. She is not going to be booted she has the right to live there as long as she is married to me. If I die she can choose to stay or leave but she can't be booted.

Contrary to your belief I am not cold hearted.


Does anyone remember the look on William's face after Richard the Bruce betrayed him in the movie, "Braveheart?" Well, Mr Sleepy......that's how your lady would feel if you betrayed her trust in the end.


Your point is moot as there is legal provision for her in the event of my death.

The pre nup is just as adventitious for her as it is for me. I'm not a monster I just know how divorce laws can strip a person of their life's work.

And no matter how much people love each other they can change.

I am just not willing to leave it to chance. I really have no desire to marry and it would take a phenomenal lady to make me consider it.

I met one such lady since I was divorced. She had considerably more assets and also made more than I do since I sold my business.

I would have still insisted on the pre nup. Even though I could have took half from her in a divorce.

I am truly just looking for a safety net in the event I do marry again and it goes bad.

I know a guy that married a second time he had a very lucrative store. He died an untimely death w/o a will and the second wife didn't give his son anything. Sold off the store and now his only son will never get anything from his fathers life of work.

That will not happen with my kids.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 311
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 7:09:23 AM

No need she is protected with a living estate.
She only looses the right to be there if she decides to move out.

Read the above. She is not going to be booted she has the right to live there as long as she is married to me. If I die she can choose to stay or leave but she can't be booted.

Contrary to your belief I am not cold hearted.


Well, I have seen that scenario before as well and my question is.........since the house is owned by your children (ie the Corporation) will they as the landlords have the right to make things so miserable for her, than she is constructively forced to leave the home? Will the children (ie the Corporation) keep the home in good repair.....as in the case of a sewer backup or leaky roof?

Contrary to your belief, all people can be cold hearted..........given the proper dose of ugly and evil circumstances. I mean, geezus....a whole freaking civil war had to be fought to stop the "white dominance" over Afro-Americans, and the slaves were freed along time ago. The women's war over "white male dominance" over them and their children continues, but in a less violent manner.............and we take no POW's (prisoners of war) and we leave men still standing, upright. In other words.....no bullet holes or flesh wounds. When it comes to being cold-hearted, men have raped, murdered and tortured women and children.......so don't talk to me about cold-hearted. I've seen enough of that shite in my life and it's still going on in South Africa, only those ladies are fighting "black & white male dominance."
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 312
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 7:44:18 AM
wtf? One would think a woman didn't have free will to accept or reject the stipulations of the pre-nup contract or to hire her own lawyer to shoot holes through it and advise her to reject it. This isn't male dominance over women, but the above is again a case of attempted gender bashing.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 313
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 8:40:44 AM

wtf? One would think a woman didn't have free will to accept or reject the stipulations of the pre-nup contract or to hire her own lawyer to shoot holes through it and advise her to reject it.

Precisely.
A lot of what mjyawn is speaking of is simply a GENERAL asset /estate protection plan that also protects against losses due to OTHER personal financial or legal issues. It also protects his assets from being wiped out by a medical situation, particularly in terms of a long-term care scenario.
However, it does give him something to boast about, along with his cleverness in finding a legal loophole to circumvent the 50/50 marital asset split in both divorces,and provide leverage to pretty much evict his childrens mother(s)? from any meaningful presence in thir lives-anyway that's what it sounds like to me. I cannot help but wonder, was the situation THAT awful, or were these women cowards with no principles and no spines, that they essentially fled with nothing but the clothes on their back?
Overall, I think that this marvel of modern civil/legal literature will do EXACTLY what its' REAL purpose is...keep all women AT LEAST at arms' length, emotionally speaking. Whether that will also create a sociosexual logistical problem( unless someone has a d*ck that is LONGER than their arms), I would not dare to speculate.
There really is only ONE reason for getting legally married-because 2 people have found each other and have feelings for each other, that over-ride their fears of the potential serious drawbacks involved in the matter.
Cindy O
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 314
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 8:42:19 AM
Hmm, I wonder why Oprah Winfrey didn't interview more "lizard like" creatures on her show about the plight of legally married African women in South Africa. Maybe she will talk more about it on her OWN network.........we can only hope.




There really is only ONE reason for getting legally married-because 2 people have found each other and have feelings for each other, that over-ride their fears of the potential serious drawbacks involved in the matter.


Agreed.......and it is that ONE reason, that should bind a couple together for their lifetime.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 315
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 11:04:13 AM

Well, I have seen that scenario before as well and my question is.........since the house is owned by your children (ie the Corporation) will they as the landlords have the right to make things so miserable for her, than she is constructively forced to leave the home? Will the children (ie the Corporation) keep the home in good repair.....as in the case of a sewer backup or leaky roof?


As far a daily maintenance she would have to do that. You know light blubs and clogged drains.

The roof is metal with a 50 warranty with 48 or so years left.

Again the choice would be hers. To be honest the woman I would marry would be smart enough to have her own assets. So that really wouldn't be a issue.


Contrary to your belief, all people can be cold hearted..........given the proper dose of ugly and evil circumstances. I mean, geezus....a whole freaking civil war had to be fought to stop the "white dominance" over Afro-Americans, and the slaves were freed along time ago. The women's war over "white male dominance" over them and their children continues, but in a less violent manner.............and we take no POW's (prisoners of war) and we leave men still standing, upright. In other words.....no bullet holes or flesh wounds. When it comes to being cold-hearted, men have raped, murdered and tortured women and children.......so don't talk to me about cold-hearted. I've seen enough of that shite in my life and it's still going on in South Africa, only those ladies are fighting "black & white male dominance.


See this kind of blather is no where near on topic.

I can't help what happened hundreds of years ago. And what is happening in another country right now is beyond my control.

BTW if you check the facts slavery was third on the list of reasons the south went to war. Was slavery wrong of course.

But it was not the main reason for the war. The north controlled 95% of the economy at that time,

They wanted to control the one thing the south had cotton.

Check the facts it was northern shipping companies that run the slave ships to bring them here.

If slavery was the reason they could have just stopped making money by bringing the slaves.

It seems while to crow about how superior the female gender is you also want men to make provisions for them to live. Why is that?


wtf? One would think a woman didn't have free will to accept or reject the stipulations of the pre-nup contract or to hire her own lawyer to shoot holes through it and advise her to reject it. This isn't male dominance over women, but the above is again a case of attempted gender bashing.


Agreed and so is the following.


Precisely.
A lot of what mjyawn is speaking of is simply a GENERAL asset /estate protection plan that also protects against losses due to OTHER personal financial or legal issues. It also protects his assets from being wiped out by a medical situation, particularly in terms of a long-term care scenario.


I wish it was general I wish everyone would protect themselves so the payday for one person in a divorce is no longer a factor.

That way there would be not advantage financially to divorce.

{quote]However, it does give him something to boast about, along with his cleverness in finding a legal loophole to circumvent the 50/50 marital asset split in both divorces,and provide leverage to pretty much evict his childrens mother(s)? from any meaningful presence in thir lives-anyway that's what it sounds like to me.

You again post fallacious opinions of me and my family.

The women left because they choose to. I didn't force either one to leave me or give up custody of their child.

I did offer to care for the kids w/o them having to pay child support which both jumped on quickly.

Why do you have to try and make me the bad guy in this......oh yeah it is because I'm a man.


I cannot help but wonder, was the situation THAT awful, or were these women cowards with no principles and no spines, that they essentially fled with nothing but the clothes on their back?


Actually they left with what ever assets they had earned for themselves.
And of course they had their lovers to fall back on.

Overall, I think that this marvel of modern civil/legal literature will do EXACTLY what its' REAL purpose is...keep all women AT LEAST at arms' length, emotionally speaking. Whether that will also create a sociosexual logistical problem( unless someone has a d*ck that is LONGER than their arms), I would not dare to speculate.

Why the misandry? If it keeps someone from having to start over again after being fleeced by the system I am all for it! No matter their gender.



There really is only ONE reason for getting legally married-because 2 people have found each other and have feelings for each other, that over-ride their fears of the potential serious drawbacks involved in the matter.




Agreed.......and it is that ONE reason, that should bind a couple together for their lifetime.


Yes and if more would actually make it a lifetime there would be no need to protect ones assets. However at this time that is not the case.

I'm sure the misandry will continue. However it is nice to see some discussing this with dignity.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 316
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 12:26:09 PM
He was responding to her off topic, so admonish them both if you're going to do any admonishing.

I always find it interesting that women's past plight is brought up to bolster present day reality. I'm certainly not saying that women didn't have to fight to get marriage laws that are in place now, however, they are in place. Wonder of wonders, it was even men who helped them get these laws passed. For every woman who will tell you how bad off she is that she didn't get out of a divorce what she figured was her right, financially and child custody-wise, there's a man who will claim the same, particularly where custody is concerned. The pendulum keeps swinging and one day it will stop dead even, or as close to it as possible. What continues to make it a slow process is the gender bashing and generalizations. There are judgements made that are unfair to both genders and if a person doesn't believe that, they may have soda crackers for brains.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 317
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 1:18:45 PM
Well, maybe it's not a woman's past plight in your small 100 mile radius of the world, but it is present day reality in other parts of the world.

Excuse me, I didn't realize the thread topic was based on marriage in third world countries and the reason for entering or not entering into it, nor the laws surrounding it, pre and post. Did I wander into the wrong thread? I think not. The discussion is best served if the participants stay on topic. If any of my comments are taken as vindictive and provoking certain posters, that's strictly a matter of misinterpretation by whomever is misinterpreting, and not by intention. I'm as free to comment as others, like it or leave it.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 318
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 2:43:48 PM

It seems while to crow about how superior the female gender is you also want men to make provisions for them to live. Why is that?

No, I don't think that there is much "crowing" going on with the female gender. I see a banty rooster crowing about how no hen is gonna get any of his stuff,by golly! I think the problem is that none of the hens here(or even the other roosters) are all that impressed.
I don't think anybody is trying to insist that either gender should be making provisions for the other one, only that if a marriage ends, the standards set by the courts should not be circumvented...how is taking advantage of a little-used law on the books to "beat" your divorcing partner out of a fair settlement, all that much different than using physical intimidation tactics? I think there is more to the story...

I wish it was general I wish everyone would protect themselves so the payday for one person in a divorce is no longer a factor.

Equitable division of assets and a thoughtful consideration and decision about child custody and support is hardly a "payday". Yes there are people of both genders who use serial marriage and divorce to make a financial gain. If that is all the skills they have, I feel SORRY for those people. But to make it sound like marriage and divorce is a common career plan with American women,says more about the one making that suggestion and what it says isn't positive.

The women left because they choose to. I didn't force either one to leave me or give up custody of their child.

I did offer to care for the kids w/o them having to pay child support which both jumped on quickly.

Yeah, I recall some other threads where you described the use of social intimidation, to get your way. Frankly, most women would charge hell with a water pistol before they'd "choose" to leave their children.

Why do you have to try and make me the bad guy in this......oh yeah it is because I'm a man.

I can't answer that exactly the way I'd LIKE to...lets' just say that I do not have any animosity towards males that are in fact MEN. I'm sorry, but I really have trouble believing that most women would walk away from her own kids voluntarily,regardless of what she had done wrong.

Why the misandry?
why the misogyny? When there's a gunfight, I don't show up with a pocketknife!

Yes and if more would actually make it a lifetime there would be no need to protect ones assets.

But that is the purpose of the no-fault divorce and the 50/50 split of MARITAL assets-IF the court has to step in.
I KNOW that this is not a perfect system. I know that a lot of men regard having to pay child support even though they no longer have marital access to their mother's vagina, as unfair and punitive...it's CHILD SUPPORT,fer gawds'sake, not financial punishment. You don't want to put your 'assets' at risk, or face the reality of paying towards the upkeep of your children? Don't get married and don't have kids.

I didn't realize the thread topic was based on marriage in third world countries and the reason for entering or not entering into it, nor the laws surrounding it, pre and post.

hang on a sec, let me go fetch roger33 and it can be about that,if you like-LOL.

Bottom line...if you are unclear about the reasons for marriage, or seriously uneasy about the responsibilities and risks of marriage, don't do it.
There's a passage in the vows that says "Marriage is not an endeavor to be undertaken lightly..."
If nothing else sticks in your mind-remember THAT.
Cindy O
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 319
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 4:11:00 PM

I don't think anybody is trying to insist that either gender should be making provisions for the other one, only that if a marriage ends, the standards set by the courts should not be circumvented...how is taking advantage of a little-used law on the books to "beat" your divorcing partner out of a fair settlement, all that much different than using physical intimidation tactics? I think there is more to the story...


I didn't beat her out of anything. She kept every asset she brought into the marriage or made while in the marriage.

She decided it was not worth exposing her adultery in court. She could have fought it and gotten 50% of my money too.

Seeing as she was marrying her lover that gave her so much to be with him she didn't need my money.



Equitable division of assets and a thoughtful consideration and decision about child custody and support is hardly a "payday". Yes there are people of both genders who use serial marriage and divorce to make a financial gain. If that is all the skills they have, I feel SORRY for those people. But to make it sound like marriage and divorce is a common career plan with American women,says more about the one making that suggestion and what it says isn't positive.


Please show me where I said it was common. I said it happens and that no matter how much in love people once were they change. The law favors the women in child custody. Alimony when paid by a man is not news at all. Yet when women are ordered to pay ABC news does a story on it.

Every one of the ladies interviewed that had to pay their husband said the same thing. The divorce laws that require a 50% split is outdated. Sound familiar?



Yeah, I recall some other threads where you described the use of social intimidation, to get your way. Frankly, most women would charge hell with a water pistol before they'd "choose" to leave their children.


Please quote me in them then as I have only ever told the account as it happened. The offer was let me have custody they get visitation and don't have to pay me support. They agreed we never went to court on either child.


I can't answer that exactly the way I'd LIKE to...lets' just say that I do not have any animosity towards males that are in fact MEN. I'm sorry, but I really have trouble believing that most women would walk away from her own kids voluntarily,regardless of what she had done wrong.


Please show me where I said they did something wrong in custody. That was in the marriage.
I got custody after the divorce in the first case, after she left my daughter with me for three months without any contact with the child not even a phone call. I filed abandonment against her for custody.

When she was served she wanted to know if I was gong to ask for support. I told her if she would just sign over custody I wouldn't ask for a dime. She didn't hesitate.

The other liked smoking her dope more than she wanted our son and I offered the same deal to her. She too didn't hesitate.

She and I are now friends and she has long since quit the drugs. My son actually stays at her home in GA now.

And as far as what you think of me I couldn't care less.


why the misogyny? When there's a gunfight, I don't show up with a pocketknife!


What misogyny? I have no problem with women. My problem is with archaic laws. Much like the women that was ordered to pay their hubby's have the same problem with the laws.


But that is the purpose of the no-fault divorce and the 50/50 split of MARITAL assets-IF the court has to step in.
I KNOW that this is not a perfect system. I know that a lot of men regard having to pay child support even though they no longer have marital access to their mother's vagina, as unfair and punitive...it's CHILD SUPPORT,fer gawds'sake, not financial punishment. You don't want to put your 'assets' at risk, or face the reality of paying towards the upkeep of your children? Don't get married and don't have kids.


Ahh yes back door alimony.....As I said neither mother paid me support. I did however put the same amount of money I was paying them before the change of custody in an account for my kids.

I was able to buy both of the a car and gave each a saving account when they finished High school. I paid for all there needs out of this same account while they were growing up as well. There was still money left in the account when they turned 18. Thousands as a matter of fact.

Tell me have you ever heard of a mother doing that with their c/s? I haven't.


There's a passage in the vows that says "Marriage is not an endeavor to be undertaken lightly..."
If nothing else sticks in your mind-remember THAT.


And that is why I am prepared. Because I don't take it lightly.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 320
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 5:00:14 PM

I got custody after the divorce in the first case, after she left my daughter with me for three months without any contact with the child not even a phone call. I filed abandonment against her for custody.

When she was served she wanted to know if I was gong to ask for support. I told her if she would just sign over custody I wouldn't ask for a dime. She didn't hesitate.

The other liked smoking her dope more than she wanted our son and I offered the same deal to her. She too didn't hesitate.

Broken picker, IMO.
Doesn't mean that EVERYONE'S picker is broken and therefore divorce,requiring that divorce and family law need to be overhauled.

And that is why I am prepared. Because I don't take it lightly.
My quoting the passage was directed to the TOPIC of the thread and to all participants.
But since you insist on making everything just all about YOU...
No, you are NOT prepared.
You don't even grasp the true meaning of the passage. What you are prepared for is the adversarial outcome of any marriage you enter into-(perhaps that IS an oblique way of acknowledging your broken picker?)
I am not anti prenup,but when one is BRANDISHED by one party or the other, it is simply an announcement "I know this marriage won't work either." For a mature couple with assets, grown children, business interests, nearing retirement, sitting down and working out a pre-nup pertinent to the particular set of circumstances-and maybe doing a little planning for asset protection as it applies to protracted illness-long term care, that's fine and makes perfect sense.
But to present a pre-fab prenup with a yearly renewal requirement-regardless of which intended partner is brandishing it- simply screams "issues!"

Tell me have you ever heard of a mother doing that with their c/s? I haven't.

I've heard of LOTS of mothers who stood up to even threats of physical harm, rather than give up custody of their children. I know of lots of mothers who don't push for child support because they don't want a life of continous "ex drama."

Let me answer the OT question in the spirit of it's true intent...
There are NO reasons to get legally married-all it is going to do is create headaches, drama and grief from a cheatin'-ass, moneygrabbing spouse, or expose you to emotional and possibly physical abuse.
The only possible hope of safety from all this drama is a 200 page prenuptial legal document drawn up by the entire Supreme Court, Judge Judy, Dr. Laura,Dr Phil, Oprah, Larry the Cable Guy and Mike Helton( the president of NASCAR). And coutersigned by God, Allah, the Great Spirit, and President Obama.
But, by and large, there are no reasons to get married. Unhappiness need not be shared, the world is over-populated,and ya just can't win.
Is THIS the answer you wanted, OP?
Cindy O
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 321
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 5:33:41 PM

Broken picker, IMO.
Doesn't mean that EVERYONE'S picker is broken and therefore divorce,requiring that divorce and family law need to be overhauled.


That is your opinion. The women in the ABC story all agree with my after loosing 50% of their assets to the hubby's.


My quoting the passage was directed to the TOPIC of the thread and to all participants.
But since you insist on making everything just all about YOU...


Directed at all participants...Of which I am one....Tell me in my answer did I claim to speak for everyone? Or did I claim you were referring to me alone?


But to present a pre-fab prenup with a yearly renewal requirement-regardless of which intended partner is brandishing it- simply screams "issues!"


I admit I have issues.....With losing 50% of my assets this late in life!



I've heard of LOTS of mothers who stood up to even threats of physical harm, rather than give up custody of their children. I know of lots of mothers who don't push for child support because they don't want a life of continous "ex drama."


Let me enlighten you visitation and child support are separate issues. A custodial parent can not stop visitation because of non payment of c/s!

So that is just blather.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 322
view profile
History
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 7:02:38 PM

Let me enlighten you visitation and child support are separate issues. A custodial parent can not stop visitation because of non payment of c/s!

So that is just blather.

Maybe blather in your world, not in the one where I've spent most of my adult life.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 323
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 7:32:47 PM

Let me enlighten you visitation and child support are separate issues. A custodial parent can not stop visitation because of non payment of c/s!

So that is just blather.



Maybe blather in your world, not in the one where I've spent most of my adult life.


Better brush up on AZ law then as the custodial parent can Not stop visitation because of lack of payment!




http://www.child-support-laws-state-by-state.com/arizona-child-support.html





The Separate Entities that Are Child Support Visitation Rights
The Main concern of most parents across the globe is child support being paid and visitation rights being granted. This is especially true for parents who bring up their child at a distance. However, you can rest assured that child support visitation rights are completely and totally separate and one never impinges on the other. The absent parent would require applying to the court separately to gain visitation rights. In case, this happens, the court will take into account any relevant past history that could well preclude any visitation rights being awarded to the absent parent.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 324
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 8:06:52 PM
I admit I have issues.....With losing 50% of my assets this late in life!


Good one. But, if you have kids, it's 50 percent plus.

When I was married, we did the "we are one now" bullsh1t and had a joint account (no, not for buying joints) and pooled all of our money into the joint account.

When the ex decided to take flight and fly into another guy's coop, the first thing she did is take half of the money out of our joint account. I didn't find out until a few days after she left when I went to the bank and checked the balance. I was still stuck with paying the jointly owned bills (mortgage, utilities, pet expenses, etc.) that she refused to contribute to, since I was still at the house and I also took responsibility of looking after the pets that she wanted so badly.

The kicker is she opened up another bank account I didn't know about long before she took off and had a substantial amount of money in it. It started to click in about money mysteriously disappearing from the joint account. I would check the monthly bank statements and see withdrawals of 30, 40 , 50 dollars or more almost weekly on top of the usual transactions and the weekly spending money allocated. When I asked her if she knew what the extra withdrawal was for, she would mention picking up a few groceries, feminine hygiene products, etc. I never doubted the explanations.

Fast forward to the divorce. I never got compensated for the money she took and socked away in her private account. She and her lawyer tried to convince the judge that she needed all of the money from her secret account because she had to live on her own now (no mention of the guy she moved in with plus her salary of about 60 grand a year while I was unemployed) and the money was also "stress" money. She needed all of the money to overcome the stress of divorce. Because of the way all of the assets were split in the settlement, I never saw a nickel of the money that was secretly funneled from our joint account.

If I ever hook up with someone else in my life, there will be no more joint accounts. I will have my stash of cash and she will have hers. All bills will be paid 50/50. I originally thought a pre-nup was a stupid idea, but I can see the validity of having one now.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 325
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/5/2011 8:51:36 PM
Geez, now men are finally getting a taste of what it was like for women in the early 1930's, 40's, 50's and 60's. Remember your history when it was typical for a man to have a wife and children at home and a mistress in an apartment that he was paying for from the family bank account.

The wife was busy cutting consumer goods coupons to buy groceries, sewing clothing(which was cheaper than buying at the dept store in the 40's) and generally keeping family costs as low as possible. Only to find out that Mr was frivilously spending money to house, wine and dine his mistress of x-many years. Then Mr would run away with his mistress and leave the children with the Mrs along with an empty bank account and a stack of bills. There was no child support or spousal support back then either and only very low-paying jobs were available to women. A lot of women and children starved or became ill from malnutrition and passed away back then. That's if their immediate families didn't take them in and provide shelter and food for them......usually parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents. A lot of orphanages were erected during that era.

Women found out back then that marriage wasn't worth the time that it took to sign the marriage license and certificate. Well, here it is 2011 and it took men 60+ years to finally figure out that the institution of marriage that their forefathers created is a big pile of caw caw and provides no security for either spouse. I suppose that's because people didn't marry for love back then, they typically married for sex and money and the prestige of being a married man or woman. You see, married men usually got jobs quicker than single men......employers were pretty discriminatory about things like that back then too.

Anywho.....I must retire for the evening, Toodles
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