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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?      Home login  
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 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 576
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What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?Page 24 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
Unix, I wuz thinkin' they might should get married. . . .


Ya know I was thinking of that same thing, but I didn't want to mention it.


Any chance you guys can call it a draw? Please?

As for snow and cold...it toughens us up:)


Think about it. If they stopped, this thread would come to an end.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 577
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/17/2011 7:14:51 PM


Any chance you guys can call it a draw? Please?


I'm more than willing.



As for snow and cold...it toughens us up:)


Yeah I lived in Springfield Massachusetts when I was a wee lad. Dad was in the Air Force.

I prefer sugar sand beaches with emerald green waters.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 578
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/17/2011 7:33:40 PM

Lake surrounding Waterton


I absolutely enjoy going to Waterton.......one of my favorite places. At least you got to see when it wasn't raining, that's also a bonus, LOL.

Well, if anything....I think this thread provides a good education for those considering marriage...some of the ups and some of the downs

Depending on if you are male or female
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 579
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/17/2011 8:16:40 PM

I've kicked my own ass enough times for it too.


How'd yah do that? I've tried kicking my own arse a few times, but I just keeping falling over on the other leg.

But, yah never know.............it's never too late to tackle the impossible one more time.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 580
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What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/17/2011 8:28:24 PM
But, yah never know.............it's never too late to tackle the impossible one more time.


Maybe we should ask Cindy O what her thoughts are on this.

My thoughts.... What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married? That it feels good, and that it feels right. Like a nice pair of jeans feel when you put them on straight out of the dryer.

I've been married once. I'm not sure I can do it again. Maybe in my next lifetime. But, Yah never know. Right Razzle.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 581
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/17/2011 10:32:23 PM
Nah, y'all...appreciate the thought but I believe I'll make my own choices should I decide to get married again.
A couple of times I posted an excerpt from a general interest website regarding the reasoning and benefits of getting legally married-which was the original question asked.But the topic keeps getting brought back to one person, that persons' unfortunate experiences with marriage and divorce and his planned defenses against "next time". The OT didn't ask about prenuptials and protecting assets.
Granted, there were other posters early in the thread who seemed to believe that marriage was something designed by women as a way to make financial gain without working for it. As a woman,I feel as though these accusations should be discussed. Otherwise why did a lot of women bust their behinds to make their own money-often times in addition to managing a household and being the lead person in child-rearing!(see msg 44 by GrandmaBooBoo)-just to have that old misogynistic stereotype STILL being cited as Gospel truth?
2 posts after message# 44 comes a male posting a viewpoint that marriage is a device for women to get men's money/assets.
At about page 4, the wrangling began...
I didn't come into this discssion until page 12,message 288...and that message was very general, it did touch in a general sense on some of the complaints and wrangling coming from the "broken-picker" contingent, and the posts from both genders alleging that their gender had experienced a history of being victimzed by marriage.

In message 299, I did comment on my observation that one of the most vociferous wranglers seemed to have a tendency to take every other person's post that asked a general question, made a general observation, provided an anecdote of a particular experience or scenario, as something that had to be responded to with a recitation of their personal experiences,arrangements,circumstances,etc.
It was only my intent-ill-advised as it turned out to be-to simply keep the topic from becoming all about one particular person, their specific situations, strategies,etc. Several times I posted information from various non-biased(misandrist) websites.
I am not the one who claimed that other posters "facts were always wrong", nor was I the one who attempted to disguise an inability to rebut or debate a point,comment, observation by calling it '"blather""whitewash" or "spin".

Both men and women here(some of them) have been screwed over at the end of their marriages(this is not a gender specific anomaly)...perhaps doing a relationship autopsy might help. Check where your blind spots, pre-marriage, were. Learn from these.

Absofreakinlutely.
That is ALL I have been trying to point out! "Relationship autopsy" is a good term, and if one learns from however many one has to do, perhaps it would be easier to TRUST a little more-and I mean trust YOURSELF/your judgement, and have a little more faith in humans and human social constructs. Either that or make a decision and resolve to adhere to it, NOT to get into close-intertwined relationships where your worldly goods might be put at risk.
As for my thoughts on yoga and ass-kicking, self inflicted or otherwise-let's not, but lie and say we did. lol.
Cindy O
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 582
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/17/2011 11:54:02 PM
NEVER in this legal system. It is on par with a pump and dump stock ponzi scheme
10K for the wedding
3-5K for the ring
6.7 years of your life
and now it is an entitlement to HALF of your current assets.... but not the house, because she gets that, and probably not the car, and definitely not the child support, alimony, or educational support .... and forbid that you were making any serious money and have to pay limits based on 'the life and style that she had become accustomed to'

frankly I dont understand why the gays are so damn excited to be put through the mill. Though it would be a boost to the law, marriage, divorce, counseling and asset collection industries.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 583
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 12:06:30 AM

As for my thoughts on yoga and ass-kicking, self inflicted or otherwise-let's not, but lie and say we did. lol.


O.K., but if the truth be told.........I wish my boss would take some yoga lessons, so he could tie himself up in intricate knots, along with his pretzel breath.

I really don't think pre-nuptual agreements carry much weight in a divorce trial, especially if it was drawn up to purposely deceive the other. That being said, I probably wouldn't co-habitate with an SO, unless I had the benefits of a legally recognized marriage. But I would certainly be pro-active in making sure we both understand what we're getting ourselves into. Don't want any of the Deer running into Head Lights stuff that seems to happen to people.

I don't think most people know what they are signing up for when they get a marriage license and then a certificate. But they certainly go into shock when the divorce papers get filed.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 584
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What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 10:32:43 AM

Now Unix....I want to kick YOUR ass for invoking the name of Lady Cindy! Brat


I believe that without the intuitive opinions of Cindy O, and mjyawn67.... this thread would not have become so informing.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 585
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 11:07:25 AM

I really don't think pre-nuptual agreements carry much weight in a divorce trial, especially if it was drawn up to purposely deceive the other.


I don't remember anyone saying they would make a pre nup to deceive anyone. Any pre nup to be legal has to be singed after each party has had THEIR attorney advise them on it.


UnixGrand wrote...

I believe that without the intuitive opinions of Cindy O, and mjyawn67.... this thread would not have become so informing.


Thank you and that was my intent to inform people that has assets that there are multiple ways of protecting them.

Yet I was accused of hiding them......A LLC is public record pre nups have to have both parties represented by their on attorneys.

Now someone please tell me how that is hiding assets?

My advice was branded as gender bashing when either one could use it. The only thing it does is protect the one that has the most assets from loosing them.

As far as misandry tell me is this not misandry?


But noooooooooo, you guys are such loosers, thieves and cheap-skates...........that you need to manipulate some woman into giving it to you for FREE. See, there is more of that FREE stuff............women get it for free because you guys give it away for FREE.
LOOSERS and little boys who will never grow up.


That came from message #191
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 586
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 11:59:41 AM
Here are some Canadian statistics....
Based on estimates from the economics section of Manitoba Agriculture, the cost of raising a daughter to age 18 in 2004 was an average of $166,549. For boys, the figure was slightly higher – at $166,972 – due to extra costs for food.

The average hourly wage for a man working in Canada is $24.81 and for females working in Canada $21.33 on a full-time basis.....8 hours per day.


NEVER in this legal system. It is on par with a pump and dump stock ponzi scheme
10K for the wedding
3-5K for the ring
6.7 years of your life


And now for the dump stock ponzie scheme men think they are entitled too.

10K for the wedding.........which the bride's parents usually pay for or costs are split between bride and groom, $5000.00 each.
3-5K for the ring.........groom buys engagement/wedding ring for bride and bride buys wedding ring for groom...3-5K
6.7 years of your life......husband/father of children retains his income level and experiences no break or lack of service in the paid workforce and continues to earn $345,752.00 over 6.7 years. Bride/mother gives up $21.33 hourly x 2080 hours annually = $44, 366.40 x 6.7 years of her life = $297, 254.88 to be a stay-at-home mother until children are of elementary school age.

Then there are the child care costs for the 2.3 children that some to most married couples create. The costs quoted are statistics from Manitoba, however costs do vary from province to province.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 587
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 12:15:09 PM

6.7 years of your life......husband/father of children retains his income level and experiences no break or lack of service in the paid workforce and continues to earn $345,752.00 over 6.7 years. Bride/mother gives up $21.33 hourly x 2080 hours annually = $44, 366.40 x 6.7 years of her life = $297, 254.88 to be a stay-at-home mother until children are of elementary school age.


So then she should decide NOT to have kids and get married.

Are you saying she doesn't have freewill?

I know here in the US a woman has the right over her body and can decide solely whether or not to remain pregnant.

The man has no say in the choice. She could abort a child he wants or she can have a child he doesn't want.

That puts the decision of having children firmly in the females court at least in the US.

And from this it is the same in your country.


Canada is one of the very few countries in the world that has NO criminal law restricting abortion at all. We first liberalized our law against abortion in 1969; then our Supreme Court threw it out completely in 1988. And we've been doing just fine without it. In the 11 years since we began our great experiment, we've found that doctors and women exercise the right to abortion responsibly, without the need for any legal restrictions. We don't need gestational limits. We don't need waiting periods. We don't need parental or spousal consent laws. And we don't need restrictions on certain types of abortions.


So with women in control of the baby making just how is it you claim she is owed something from the man if she decides to have children and give up her career?

This shows the lack of equity in the law and the mind frame of SOME (not all)women that use the system for their gain.

They get what they want (a child) then blame the man when they are through playing dress up the live doll.

They want to be subsidized to do what they want. Again this is NOT ALL women but enough that one has to be concerned about.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 588
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 12:30:26 PM

So then she should decide NOT to have kids and get married.


AAAhhh yah, Duh........that's precisely what I'm doing.

Men can decide the same for themselves, but if they have a wandering one-eyed snake........they will be held responsible for the children that they create in Canada.

 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 589
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 12:36:18 PM

Men can decide the same for themselves,


Not according to the laws in Canada.

Did you miss this part....
we've found that doctors and women exercise the right to abortion responsibly, without the need for any legal restrictions. We don't need gestational limits. We don't need waiting periods. We don't need parental or spousal consent laws


No spousal consent necessary! Doesn't sound to me like they have any say so in the decision.

So again how is it you feel the man owes the woman for her deciding to stop her career and have kids?

Why should he be responsible for a decision the laws say is hers alone?
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 590
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 12:47:06 PM
Your deflecting from the topic of this thread which is marriage, NOT abortion.

Men can choose if they want to get married or not. Stick to the freaking topic!!

Men, do not have the right to decide what a woman does or does not do with her body..so stick to the topic or go to a thread about abortion as there are many here.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 591
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What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 12:52:16 PM

Men can decide the same for themselves, but if they have a wandering one-eyed snake........


Is that the same snake from the Garden Of Eden?
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 592
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 12:55:13 PM

Your deflecting from the topic of this thread which is marriage, NOT abortion.

Men can choose if they want to get married or not. Stick to the freaking topic!!

Men, do not have the right to decide what a woman does or does not do with her body..so stick to the topic or go to a thread about abortion as there are many here.


You brought up the subject of children and how that the man owes the woman for having them.

I showed the laws say it is the woman the has the sole discretion to have the child or not I didn't make it about abortion I made the point that the woman is in control of having the babies.

You just don't like the facts that pokes holes in your theories.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 593
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 1:01:12 PM
Is that the same snake from the Garden Of Eden?


You have a good sense of humor Unix, but yes it would be the same one-eyed snake that enticed Eve, but it was Adam who actually ate the Apple from the Tree of Knowledge after Eve took a small bite of it.

Have you seen the Davinci Code??? Is one of my favorite movies!!


I showed the laws say it is the woman the has the sole discretion to have the child or not I didn't make it about abortion I made the point that the woman is in control of having the babies.


They don't always have control of whether they get pregnant or not........in spite of all the various forms of birth control available to them. Men have the same choices available to them or refrain from sexual activities and the stupid little social games that people play.

 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 594
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What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 1:25:39 PM
Have you seen the Davinci Code??? Is one of my favorite movies!!


Actually That was the closest hypothesis to the way it actually might have gone. It makes a lot of sense. Plus I love Tom Hanks, and Ron Howard. Btw.... I also read the book. The difference in seeing the movie, and reading the book... makes you think more about it.


Two of my most favorite movies.... Cinderella Man, and A Beautiful Mind. Both Ron Howard productions. Dr. John Nash from Princeton was amazing. Thus... A Beautiful Mind.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 595
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 1:33:09 PM

Two of my most favorite movies.... Cinderella Man, and A Beautiful Mind. Both Ron Howard productions. Dr. John Nash from Princeton was amazing. Thus... A Beautiful Mind.


I really enjoyed those movies too, especially A Beautiful Mind......kinda makes you wonder about the need for psychologists, when all they do is over-medicate some of the minds of the most intelligent people, who don't fit into their very tight- fitting mold of what a "normal" person is.

Anyhow, back to the reasons for getting legally married?

I don't know why anyone would really want to get married.........if it's caused them so much grief in the past!!!!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 596
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 1:39:03 PM
The man has no say in the choice. She could abort a child he wants or she can have a child he doesn't want.


The hell he don't. It's called "keeping your d*ck in your pants."

If men can tell women "Hey don't cout on us for anything but poking fun-don't get married and don't have kids",then I think women are perfectly entitled to tell them to keep their d*cks in their pants.
Sauce. Goose. Gander.

So with women in control of the baby making just how is it you claim she is owed something from the man if she decides to have children and give up her career?

It has been presumed in most of western civilization, for oh...say, a few centuries, that PEOPLE chose to have offspring for various reasons, both noble and self-centered(and everything between). In most cases, either the father of the offspring, or the tribe or clan-if not both,contributed to the well being of children AND their mothers. This is not to imply that the mothers weren't actively involved in caring for her partner, her childrens' father-and to the well-being of her tribe, clan,village,-whatever social structure for continuation of the species happened to be in place at a given time.

From the time that early humans figured out that it was that FUN thing that made babies, not a certain alignment of stars,or a blessing from a flower(whatever)-and that without those babies growing to adulthood, the human race would die out, humans have bonded in pairs or gathered into families/tribes/clans to nurture young humans.

It wasn't decided that the female who gave birth to a new human being should be left to shift for herself, that she was on her own if she had sex and it caused children. Later on in so-called history of "civilization" there WERE subsets of humans who took that position. And that a woman who had a male provider/protector who decided to up and LEAVE-she also was on her own, if her family , community,parish wouldn't help her.
Eventually some statutes were put in place so that a man could not abandon a wife and children with impunity, and for a woman to defend herself and her children from an exploitive, abusive, or dangerous marriage.

Are you suggesting that it's FINALLY coming to light-that men really have no more care for children than a tomcat has for the kttens he's fathered(that he just might kill)? Or a male bearfor his cubs(that he just might kill)?
Do tell. In other words, for men it's just all about getting off and let someone else deal with whatever consequences may result?

Do tell.
There you have it, ladies. It's all about the weiner.

Thank HEAVEN not all men feel this way..."gimme sex, but if there's kids, yer on yer own,lady!"

This shows the lack of equity in the law and the mind frame of SOME (not all)women that use the system for their gain.

They get what they want (a child) then blame the man when they are through playing dress up the live doll.

You can throw in all the "some,not all" BLATHER AND WHITEWASH you want to-but you are revealing the incredible extent of your DAMAGE every time you hit "post".

Quit blaming the social constructs that half of the participants DO manage to avoid failing at, for your own bad choices. why in the world are you even giving any thought to "protecting your assets" in another marriage, when it seems quite clear that you make bad choices and then blame everyone and everything else when it falls to pieces on you?

On a more postive note-SOMEBODY still believes in marriage-when I came back into town about a half-hour ago, there in the gazebo in the little "mini-park"beside the village offices, there was a wedding going on!And it looks like the reception is going to be in the other artesian spring mini-park in the middle of town.
I don't believe I know the couple...I'm actually a 'downstate immigrant" LOL-but still, SOME PEOPLE still believe in marriage. Proof right before my very eyes. And another postive note- got an invititation to a celebration the 2nd Saturday of July, my neices and their husbands are honoring their parents(my younger sister) 30 years of marriage.

So somehow or other, SOME PEOPLE are still finding the faith and trust to believe in marriage, and the intestinal fortitude and grace to STAY MARRIED to the same person for 30 years.

I am not decrying the legal process of marriage dissolution(divorce)-locking 2 people into a dead marriage doen't make any sense either.

Here's my idea(it'll never happen because it would be too expensive)...

FORGET the blood test-make every marriage license applicant take a psych eval, just like they do for people entering the military, law enforcement or public safety. They don't pass, they don't get a marriage license. If they choose to circumvent a failed evaluation by just cohabiting-they are on their own. No assistance-(other than to deal with domestic violence issues) from the courts to sort out asset ownership, child support, etc. Any kind of abuse, violence,intimidation used in settling a failed cohabitation will be dealt with HARSHLY-prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Think that would work???

Hey, if it is the will of the people to abolish marriage, forbid procreation, and allow the human race to die out...so be it. No marriage, no divorce, no children,no child support, no prenups or other methods of shielding assets.
Wow, can you IMAGINE the number of family -law specialist lawyers that would have to get REAL jobs???
The mind boggles.
Now we have THIS

You brought up the subject of children and how that the man owes the woman for having them.
NO, dude. Its' the law, that if a man's d*ck had a hand(so to speak) in the creation of a child, the CHILD is owed the support and care of both parents. If all one wants to do is cut a check and visit the child(or not), that's fine. But taxpayers don't like to see their dollars being used to subsidize people for having unprotected sex and producing unplanned children.
If a man has fears of paying child support or sharing assets with his children and their mother, then he should make that plain, and take precautions. But just think, somewhere down the line,if he has no kids, who will he have to create an LLC with,to protect his assets?
Cindy O
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 597
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What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 1:52:02 PM
If they choose to circumvent a failed evaluation by just cohabiting-they are on their own.


Sounds like something Judge Judy would say.


Hey, if it is the will of the people to abolish marriage, forbid procreation, and allow the human race to die out...so be it.


The worlds population just grew to 7 billion. Seems the procreation is moving along rather smoothly.


But just think, somewhere down the line,if he has no kids, who will he have to create an LLC with,to protect his assets?


Ouch!! mjyawn67.... your turn. [I am in utter anticipation now].
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 598
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 2:04:55 PM
Somehow I'm picturing Amazon Women and sperm banks and The Best Little Whorehouse in Wherever as a future if this gender war progresses.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 599
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 2:23:10 PM
I'm confoosed, lol! I basically thought that most normal healthy people wanted children. To that end, in a marriage (a safety cage for the littles), the couple both agreed that the woman should use her body to accomplish that although the process could risk her life. She is the one that puts up with the nausea, the nerve damage, changes to her blood, and labor. The lack of sleep, the hormone changes, the possibility of eclampsia. Then the kiddle arrives, and she nurses him/her for six months or a year. She may give up her job to do so. Which usually both parents agree to. If not, she usually ends up working two full time jobs: paid and mothering. She basically trashes her resume in the process, either way. If the marriage works, fine. If it doesn't, *usually* the woman spends X amount of time finishing up the raising thing, while "suffering" the fact that many to most men will not be interested in helping her. She's damaged goods for X years til the kids are on their own. And for this, all this, she deserves *NOTHING*? I know a woman who spent her working life raising four children. She gets $56/month from Social Security. She's now seventy, and still working. Looks like she'll be working till she dies.

 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 600
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 6/18/2011 2:24:46 PM

But just think, somewhere down the line,if he has no kids, who will he have to create an LLC with,to protect his assets?


Ouch!! mjyawn67.... your turn.

Sorry....just couldn't pass up the opportunity.
Actually, what's crossing my mind is all the wisdom about not arguing with a fool because bystanders might not be able to tell which was which, about being a bigger person than to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent,etc...
And what's that the Bible says about "better to meet with a bear robbed of her cubs, than a fool in his folly"...
But when I hear such disinformation as "women think men owe them for having children" when its' the CHILDREN that are owed, by family law in the US and Canada-I have to speak up and point out the disinformation-or, to be charitable, the misunderstanding.
As far as division of marital assets, having been married for a long time, while earning my own money, contributing to my own retirement,etc- I just cannot see how a man and woman could be married, live under the same roof, have some GOALS they want to achieve(be it rasing kids, building a big house, one or both of them achieving an educational, vocational, or avocational goal,setting the world to rights-or setting it afire) and not manage to co-mingle assets, earnings, monetary windfalls. It would require a ridiculous amount of book-keeping-and scorekeeping. It would be difficult to work together as a team if at least one of the partners was constantly focused on not getting trapped into "owing" the other one. If someone is that concerned about protecting assets, why even bother to get married? Just have the couple live their own individual lives in their own domiciles, with their own stuff, and just hang out together when they feel like it.
A marriage that is working can truly be an example of something being greater that the sum of its' parts-of synergy, of united hearts and minds.If both people are just all wrapped up in making sure they don't lose anything in the divorce thats' sure to come, how in the hell can they set mutual goals and aspirations, and then work together to achieve them?
Cindy O
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