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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?      Home login  
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 pinkoleander
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 126
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?Page 6 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
For me it's always been the life insurance money but for others it may be some other reason.
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 127
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/21/2011 2:52:34 PM
In my opinion there are more reasons not to get legally married than there are to get legally married making it a not very useful question to put to someone like me. I think in particularl the financial benefits of remaining single far outweigh the long list of financial benefits given for marriage. Although that list is long the payments are small compared to the money saved by remaining single. Those savings, invested conservatively, will provide a higher income.

While legal marriage might seem like the right thing to do at the time, people change as they age, and social conventions change over time. In my time I've seen the feminist movement destroy marriages in which the wife became disenchanted with her role of housewife and imagined a more enjoyable life " in her own space". The divorces were costly, and life afterward, doubling the participants accommodation costs and increasing cost of transportation and nutrition, was financially stressful. Retirement too was less than it would have been as a married couple or as single unmarried people.

For some reasons, which I'm sure sociologist have probed ad infinitum but don't interest me enough to investigate, the risk in marriage has increased dramatically. I think it's because in North America we live in an affluent society where men and women don't need each other so much. Automation has removed the need for a domestic division of labour and the presence of a helpmate or a bread winner. We have so much freedom. I like it.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 128
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/21/2011 3:14:37 PM

I think in particularl the financial benefits of remaining single far outweigh the long list of financial benefits given for marriage. Although that list is long the payments are small compared to the money saved by remaining single. Those savings, invested conservatively, will provide a higher income.


I couldn't have said it better laha math. Everytime someone gets married there is financial caos and when they divorce.......there is another financial caos, sometimes even more devastating.

Sometimes, I think the marriage guru's created the pretty, fluffy white wedding dresses so that more women would be interested in getting married..........just for the opportunity to wear a beautiful white gown.

I figure I saved myself a lot of money, time, and financial caos and all the headaches that go with it.................by buying a cheap white wedding gown and wearing to the SuperMarket.

O.K.........before you get carried away, I didn't really do that...........but my sister-in-law thought it would be a hilarious thing to do. Yup, well my bro got married a few years back and I warned my sister-in-law about some of his nastier habits. She's seems o.k. with it...........so all is well.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 129
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/21/2011 3:48:45 PM
One reason would be to protect the partner in event of the other's death. I know of a man who wanted to get married to his partner for this reason as his family had tried to railroad him upon his mom's death and he didn't want his family doing that to his partner should something happen to him. He already considered her his wife anyway.

My bro has been with the same woman for 20+ years. They are not legally married, but for all intents and purposes they consider themselves married and we all do too.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 130
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/21/2011 7:03:38 PM

How does the man benefit?

He doesn't.

How does the woman benefit?

It bankrolls her desire for children, enables work flexibility, and a subsidized standard of living. Note: there are exceptions but generally this holds true.

Can these benefits be obtained without getting financially and legally entangled (i.e. formal marriage in the legal sense)?

Sure, its called a relationship. No need to sign a contract to form those.


Very true words here.

Even the last ones the difference is w/o marriage the benefits end when the relationship ends. As it should be.
 NewToTN9
Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 131
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 7:41:04 AM
For some reasons, which I'm sure sociologist have probed ad infinitum but don't interest me enough to investigate, the risk in marriage has increased dramatically.

This is true. I am perplexed about the resent amount of social studies regarding marriage that has been undertaken as of late. Most seem to support the virtues of marriage. However, this should be expected given the stakeholders; a) The entire marriage eco-system (fashion industry, jewelers, planners, layers etc), and more importantly b) the government. Both have a substantial financial stake in the preservation of marriage. In my opinion, the increasing amounts of social studies designed to support marriages is nothing more than concrete evidence signaling the recognition of a declining appetite for marriage. These biased social studies are nothing more than thinly disguised advertisements designed to maintain an industry and shift social costs away from the government to the individual.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 132
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 7:55:01 AM

One reason would be to protect the partner in event of the other's death. I know of a man who wanted to get married to his partner for this reason as his family had tried to railroad him upon his mom's death and he didn't want his family doing that to his partner should something happen to him. He already considered her his wife anyway.


In situations like this, it's best to depend on actually legal agreement/contract/or whatever ya wanna call it,instead of "depending" on a marriage certificate to take care of all the needs after a partner has died. Too many examples of a "spouse" being screwed by the other's family in regards to inheritance issues to depend on a marriage certificate alone.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 133
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 8:52:47 AM
It takes time to really know someone and I have observed that not all people get married for "love." Some people choose a marriage partner for what the other can offer them at the moment or in their lifetime. So they don't marry for "love" and simply choose someone they can tolerate.

Here are some wacky reasons people get married:
-my friends are all getting married, so I should too.
-my biological clock is ticking and all my friends have babies, so I think I should too.
-she/he is a really good housekeeper and cook.........nothing like living with someone and getting their FREE, continuous hard labor and organizational skills so I can live in a clean, well-maintained home and eat good, healthy food to eat all the time and not lift a finger myself.
-I have terrible family life in my parents home and he/she has a nice home for me to escape to, until I'm ready to move on.
-he/she seems to have piles and piles of money..............maybe he/she won't mind parting with some to finance my wacky lifestyle.
-marriage will make my life easier and if the sex is not readily available, I can always have an affair.
-he/she is my personal confidante with my personal matters and their abilities as a great psychologist are FREE, even though they don't have a degree as a psychologist.

etc., etc., etc., the list goes on and on for reasons people marry and "love" has nothing to do with it. It takes time to know if you are being deceived and the other person may not even be aware of just how deceitful they are.

Well, it's a nice day today............so I'm off to do a little gardening.
Toodles
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 134
view profile
History
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 9:24:15 AM
Check out this article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html

Random excerpts from it:

[M]arriage rates among black women remain low. Only about 30 percent of black women are living with a spouse, according to the Census Bureau, compared with about 49 percent of Hispanic women, 55 percent of non-Hispanic white women and more than 60 percent of Asian women.

In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.

The proportion of married people, especially among younger age groups, has been declining for decades. Between 1950 and 2000, the share of women 15-to-24 who were married plummeted to 16 percent, from 42 percent. Among 25-to-34-year-olds, the proportion dropped to 58 percent, from 82 percent.




Looks like people (or more specifically, women according to this article) are cluing into something.



Here's kind of a "pro" article
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10927084/ns/business-personal_finance/t/marrying-money-actually-works-study-finds/

The problem though is some of the cons that are pointed out.


And for those who divorce, it’s a bit more expensive than giving up half of everything they own. They lose, on average, three-fourths of their personal net worth.

“Divorce looks like one of the fastest ways to destroy your wealth,” Zagorsky said.

People who divorced started losing net worth four years before their divorces were final, Zagorsky said.
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 135
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 11:58:15 AM

Can these benefits be obtained without getting financially and legally entangled (i.e. formal marriage in the legal sense)?

Sure, its called a relationship. No need to sign a contract to form those.


And in related news..

Housewife Charged In Sex-For-Security Scam

AKRON, OH—Area resident Helen Crandall, 44, was arrested by Akron police Sunday, charged with conducting an elaborate "sex-for-security" scam in which she allegedly defrauded husband Russell Crandall out of nearly $230,000 in cash, food, clothing and housing over the past 19 years using periodic offers of sexual intercourse.

"It's the biggest scam of its kind I've ever seen," Akron police chief Thomas Agee said. "We're talking coats, dishwashers, jewelry, sewing machines, bathroom cleansers—you name it."

According to Agee, undercover agents spotted Crandall's husband handing her $50 in cash at approximately 4 p.m., just 30 minutes after the two had sex. Crandall then drove off in her car, returning home two hours later with five bags of groceries.

"That's when we made the arrest," Agee said. "After tracking her for years, we finally had proof that she was buying all those goods with dirty money."

During the arrest, Akron police officials entered the Crandall household and seized more than 150 items Mrs. Crandall had received from her husband over the last 19 years, including a four-speed adjustable food processor, 12 pairs of earrings, a matching sofa and loveseat, a box of two-ply kitchen garbage bags, and a portable radio.

In exchange for these items, Agee said, Crandall's husband received sex an estimated 950 times—most frequently in the master bedroom, but also in the downstairs den three times, and once on the floor of the sewing room.

In addition to physical evidence, Akron police have collected considerable eyewitness testimony. More than 250 Akron residents have come forward to report seeing Helen and Russell Crandall together, and several said they witnessed Mr. Crandall flagrantly purchasing items for his wife.

"Sure, they'd come in here," said Ray Greene of Greene's House and Home. "I think the last time they got one of those box fans with the three settings."

Perhaps the most damaging testimony has come from Mr. Crandall himself, who on Tuesday told police that while the couple was dating in 1977, Mrs. Crandall—then known as Helen Steuben—demanded that he buy her a ring worth over $1,000 before he could have sex with her. The first sexual liaison took place some six months later at Bob's Honeymooner Hotel during an all-expenses-paid trip to Niagara Falls.

It was also in 1977, Mr. Crandall said, that his wife quit her job at Shippee Shoes in downtown Akron.

"Clearly," Summit County prosecutor Andrew Dravecky said, "after quitting her job, the accused began receiving money under the table from some other source: How else could she have afforded to not work? It's now pretty apparent that at that point she began supporting herself by providing a certain service to Mr. Crandall."

Crandall's mother, Bernice Steuben, a resident of the Valley View Senior Home in Yuma, AZ, is being sought for questioning in connection to the case: Police suspect that Steuben may have introduced her daughter to the sex-for-security scam after having used it herself from 1932 to 1971.

But for all the evidence collected against Crandall, Dravecky said the case will likely be difficult to prosecute. "Helen was very careful to cover her tracks," he said. "She even got her husband to put her name on the bank accounts and credit cards."

The Crandall case is not an isolated incident, said criminologist John Ohlmeyer, who said there are "literally millions" of such cases across the U.S. each year that never come to court.

"This kind of thing isn't as uncommon as we'd all like to think," Ohlmeyer said. "A woman finds herself in a situation where she isn't employable. Or maybe she has interests like child-rearing, cooking and home-maintenance that keep her from getting a job. So what does she do? She cooks up a scheme to entrap a man using her body as the bait. It's frightening, but it happens every day in this country.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 136
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 1:27:04 PM
Oh my viper, that was good, hilarious and quite and eye-opener, now let's turn it around and see what we got:

And in further related news..

Husband Charged with Sex Slave/Housekeeping Slave Scam

AKRON, OH—Area resident Russell Crandall, 44, was arrested by Akron police Sunday, charged with conducting an elaborate "sex slave/housekeeping" scam in which he allegedly defrauded wife Helen Crandall out of nearly $230,000 worth of her TIME to fulfill some of Russell's outrageous sexual fantasies, clean house , prepare nutritionally balanced food 3 times daily and the occasional snack, do his laundry weekly, grocery shop weekly, vacuum and dust weekly, organize time and date for home repairs with contractors of Mr Crandalls choosing, drive his car to and from service maintenance appointments, decorate the home to his personal satisfaction and listen to hours and hours of him whining about his demanding job and how he was going to make a success of himself over the past 19 years using periodic offers of gifts and zero dollars for her time. Mrs. Crandall stated that had she not been enslaved for all those years working for zero dollars that she could have gotten herself a full-time job as a housekeeper and sex slave she could have earned far more than $230,000 dollars in 19 years and she would have only had to work 8 hours a day.

"It's the biggest scam of its kind I've ever seen," Akron police chief Thomas Agee said. "We're talking about 24/7 slavery and sex on demand."

According to Agee, undercover agents heard Crandall's wife shout that she would be paid $200.00 a pop as a hooker for each of his orgasms instead being given some lousy appliances at approximately 4 p.m., just 30 minutes after the two had sex. Crandall then drove off in his car, returning home two hours later with sexual strategies that might be more pleasing to Helen.

"That's when we made the arrest," Agee said. "After tracking him for years, we finally had proof that he was keeping a woman as a slave and saving all his dirty money for himself.."

During the arrest, Akron police officials entered the Crandall household and convinced Helen to live in a women's shelter for a while, get some counselling and put a career together for herself..........because she could earn a lot of money with all her combined talents.

In exchange for these items, Agee said, Crandall's husband received sex an estimated 950 times—most frequently in the master bedroom, but also in the downstairs den three times, and once on the floor of the sewing room.

In addition to physical evidence, Akron police have collected considerable eyewitness testimony. More than 250 Akron residents have come forward to report seeing Helen and Russell Crandall together, and several said they witnessed Mr. Crandall flagrantly barking out orders to his wife.

"Sure, they'd come in here," said Ray Greene of Greene's House and Home. "I think the last time they got one of those box fans with the three settings."

Perhaps the most damaging testimony has come from Mrs. Crandall herself, who on Tuesday told police that while the couple was dating in 1977, Mr. Crandall—then known as Harry Crandall Junior—demanded that he should only have to give her a ring worth over $1,000 before he could have sex with her and expect 19 years of continuous sex and housekeeping. The first sexual liaison took place some six months later at Bob's Honeymooner Hotel during an all-expenses-paid trip to Niagara Falls.

It was also in 1977, Mrs. Crandall said, that her husband excelled at his job at Shippee Shoes in downtown Akron, because that is the only thing he had to concentrate on for 19 years. He only had to work 8 hours daily and he sat on his arse in front of the television or slept in a bed for the remaining 16 hours of the day. Mrs. Crandall said she worked from 6 - 16 hours daily, no days off and was on-call 24/7 and was awakened several nights per week to have sex with Mr. Crandall. Rarely did she get a full 8 hours of continuous sleep.

"Clearly," Summit County prosecutor Andrew Dravecky said, "after excelling at his job, the accused began receiving money for work performed by more women who were never paid for their time on a fair and equitable basis. How else could he have accumulated so much money in his bank account? It's now pretty apparent that Mrs. Crandall has lost 19 years worth of fair and equitable income by working for free for Mr. Crandall."

O.K. well on and on it goes...............you get my drift. There's his side, her side and then there is the truth.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 137
view profile
History
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 1:41:20 PM


Can these benefits be obtained without getting financially and legally entangled (i.e. formal marriage in the legal sense)?

Sure, its called a relationship. No need to sign a contract to form those.

Don't be so sure; front page in the local newspaper today, some rock star guy was court-ordered to pay $25,000 per month as interim support to his common-law wife of 7 years, no children. She wants $95,000.

Reason to get married: so your kids aren't called "b*st*rds".

There are good financial reasons for marriage, and there are also good financial reasons not to get married - especially if you think marriage isn't likely to permanent. Around 60% of first marriages last till someone dies (or 30+ years, which seems to be what stats use as a cut-off); those couples are generally likely to be better off financially than those who never marry or those who divorce. Second/third marriages are less likely to end with death, but there's still about a 42% chance of gaining the financial benefits marriage brings.
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 138
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 3:04:09 PM

"It's the biggest scam of its kind I've ever seen," Akron police chief Thomas Agee said. "We're talking about 24/7 slavery and sex on demand."


Sex on WHAT????

Please oh PLEASE most wise one, tell me she has single sisters at home...
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 139
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 4:03:54 PM

We're talking about 24/7 slavery and sex on demand.


Sex on demand and marriage.........Reeeeaaaaaallllllllly

That is the funniest chit I have ever seen posted on here!
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 140
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 5:02:53 PM
You guys are having way to much fun at Mr. & Mrs. Crandall's expense....




It's the biggest scam of its kind I've ever seen," Akron police chief Thomas Agee said. "We're talking about 24/7 slavery and sex on demand.


Sex on WHAT????

Please oh PLEASE most wise one, tell me she has single sisters at home...


Well, I don't know Mrs Crandall personally, but she is currently residing at the women's shelter in Akron. Anyway, you could phone the shelter and ask her if she has a single sister still living at home.




Sex on demand and marriage.........Reeeeaaaaaallllllllly

That is the funniest chit I have ever seen posted on here!


Well that is what Mrs Crandall told the police and Mr Crandall agreed that it in fact was "Sex on Demand"............cause that's the way he liked it. He was quite pleased that he had trained Mrs Crandall so well, after all he was raised to believe that marriage included sex on demand and by yiminey........he was gonna have things his way or she could hit the highway.




Reason to get married: so your kids aren't called b*st*rds


This is not a reason to get married........my parents are still married and my bro has been called a b*st*rd many times and I think I've called him a b*st*rd a few times myself. But by now, he thinks it's a "term of endearment" coming from me and he's probably right about that.

I was called a b*st*rd once when I looked like a man from a distance and I was whistling at my dog to get his royal canine butt into the vehicle. Well he jumped out of the creek, ran over to sniff a man's butt and then shook all the creek water off his body.........right on to the man. That's when the man shouted, "Hey you b*st*rd, you better get better control of your dog. I re-assured him that I would and I told him I was a biatch and not b*st*rd.

So you see, being married is no guarantee that your kids won't be called a b*st*rd.........what can I say, except that life is a biatch at times.

O.K., on a more serious note..............marriage is NOT the problem, PEOPLE are the problem.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 141
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 7:43:51 PM
When dating, a lot of people are turned off by someone who is too clingy. Marriage is the ultimate in clingy. Every minute of your life must be accounted for to your partner. I find it funny when someone puts in their profile that they are looking for their soul mate, life long partner to spend the rest of their life with, etc., but don't want someone who is too clingy.
 NewToTN9
Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 142
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 8:25:01 PM

Don't be so sure; front page in the local newspaper today, some rock star guy was court-ordered to pay $25,000 per month as interim support to his common-law wife of 7 years, no children. She wants $95,000.

This seem to be a common occurence in today's society. I just can't wait to see what argument will be presented by some writers in this thread justifying this award and her demand for more. After all, she earned it right?

And yes, co-habitaiton should be avoided as well.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 143
view profile
History
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 8:53:13 PM

And yes, co-habitaiton should be avoided as well.

Humans are wired for having close social and familial ties, and for most of history this has meant living together in some way. I doubt that co-habitation and a desire for commitment of some kind is going to die out, whether the commitment takes the form of legal marriage or secret rites and bloodletting under a full moon. What I think most men/women would like to see changed is the legally enforceable financial obligations of the higher-earning partner to the lower-earning partner.

So you see, being married is no guarantee that your kids won't be called a b*st*rd

Yeah, but you and other adults had to earn the appellation on your own merits; it wasn't handed to you by your parents ... :p

Marriage isn't the problem, people are the problem

Agreed! :)
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 144
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 10:20:14 PM

What I think most men/women would like to see changed is the legally enforceable financial obligations of the higher-earning partner to the lower-earning partner.


Finally someone that gets it! Yes why should the person earning more have to subsidize the lower earner AFTER the relationship is OVER?
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 145
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/22/2011 11:52:16 PM

Finally someone that gets it! Yes why should the person earning more have to subsidize the lower earner AFTER the relationship is OVER?


Oh shisterhozen.........people just don't get it do they? If humanoid A interferes with humanoid B's livelihood, the law allows equitable compensation that is payable to the humanoid that was most affected by the circumstances that transpired. The amount of time that the circumstances transpired over is also taken into consideration.

For example, the city or town in which you live in has affected your business with road construction, sewer upgrade, etc. and has made it impossible for your customers to come into your shop and do business with you. Your daily sales are dropping significantly and it's having a significant impact on your ability to earn a living in the same fashion that you were accustomed to. In other words, it has interfered with your livelihood and you have grounds to sue the municipality for lost income and loss of customer base.

Are you saying that a stay-at-home parent (usually the mother, but sometimes the father) should not be afforded the same right? For "x" number of years their ability to earn money, gain seniority and or promotions or contribute to a pension fund is significantly affected. Lets assume that the stay-at-home parent had a fairly decent income when they married.......the courts take into consideration what their financial status would have been, had they NOT dropped out of the workforce.
Geez, your mother and father gave you everything free, don't expect it from your wife too.

It is the same concept when for example a 25 year old man marries an 18 year old woman who has never lived away from home. The woman's parents insist their daughter should continue her education into post-secondary studies, but the couple wishes to marry right away. The 25 year old man has some seniority in the workforce, but she has none and she starts working for WalMart at minimum wage after they marry. The 25 year old man has created a situation of dependency, whereby the 18 year old woman couldn't support herself fully and she could not survive independently from him. Divorce law takes this all into consideration, especially since the man has assumed responsibility for the woman.

Now, had the 18 year old woman remained at living with her parents, her parents most likely would have subsidized her education. After 2 or 3 years, she probably would have enough marketable skills to earn far more than minimum wage. All these things are taken into consideration in a divorce trial and each situation is judged differently, but is based on the same criteria as prescribed by the family laws in your state or province.
 Prohabition
Joined: 5/5/2011
Msg: 146
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/23/2011 12:34:09 AM
Perfect answer. It is to the point, and it cannot be argued with by anyone who doesn't have a political or social agenda. You can't argue with the truth.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 147
view profile
History
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/23/2011 4:59:24 AM

Oh shisterhozen...[snip]...laws in your state or province.


All of those scenarios (except the city upgrade one) were choices that were agreed upon by the lesser earner (usually the woman). Nobody was holding a gun to anyone's head. There should be no need for compensation for the choices they made. This need for codependency has been long gone, and these days, it seems more dysfunctional than functional.

With how you worded it, the humanoid that makes more is still living a certain lifestyle that they have become accustomed to, so IMO, they are just as entitled to compensation as the lesser making one.

How many mom & pop stores get shut down because a new Walmart gets erected? You don't see them winning anything for it.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 148
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/23/2011 6:56:50 AM

Divorce law takes this all into consideration, especially since the man has assumed responsibility for the woman.

Reread this line a hundred times and try not to see the irony of it all,ESPECIALLY in this DAY and age!!!!!

I somewhat agree on the concept of your words Runner, but do know that now what is taking place in these court battles, is not just that the high earner has to pay the second person funds, but now the courts are considering the "life" she/he HAD when with the high earner, and awarding almost soley on this "way of life" (no matter how moronic such a life is, or wasteful for that matter)

The example of this "rock star" is that he met a "hairdresser"(from his "past", I might add), got her out of a hole in the wall city, lived the "life" for 7 years, and now s SHE wants close to 100 grand a month from him?????? She doesn't need a 100 grand to go back to the life she intially wanted to live and thought was "okay" 7 years ago. I,personally would have taken the 10 grand a month he was giving her, go back to buckphucknowhere town, open another hairdressing salon and then write a book about her "life experinces". Instead, she defines herself as a leach.(can ya imagine what SHE would asking for if they actually got "married"????)
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 149
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/23/2011 8:34:47 AM

For example, the city or town in which you live in has affected your business with road construction, sewer upgrade, etc. and has made it impossible for your customers to come into your shop and do business with you. Your daily sales are dropping significantly and it's having a significant impact on your ability to earn a living in the same fashion that you were accustomed to. In other words, it has interfered with your livelihood and you have grounds to sue the municipality for lost income and loss of customer base.


Hummm roads and routes are changed and all the time.

Not once have I heard of a shop owner suing the city because a road was changed.

Now if they take the shop owners lad for the road yes they must be compensated.....For the cost of the land NOT the lost revenue!


Are you saying that a stay-at-home parent (usually the mother, but sometimes the father) should not be afforded the same right? For "x" number of years their ability to earn money, gain seniority and or promotions or contribute to a pension fund is significantly affected. Lets assume that the stay-at-home parent had a fairly decent income when they married.......the courts take into consideration what their financial status would have been, had they NOT dropped out of the workforce.


You forget I did most of the child rearing and house work and worked two business'!

Sorry but house cleaning is NOT a 24/7 job as you claim.
Besides if the stay at home parent decides on their own to stay at home just how is that the others responsibility? As you have already said it is not up to the other to dictate how much they work......Yet you seem to think it is their responsibility to subsidize their income once they bounce........Very strange standards you have there.


Geez, your mother and father gave you everything free, don't expect it from your wife too.


Actually I was working during the summer months on my uncles farm when I was old enough to ....Around 7-8 years old.
That money was used to buy school clothes and the like.

My parents even though they were well off knew the importance of teaching self reliance from a young age.

I am sorry but a "stay at home mom or dad" Has many opportunities to expand their work skills in this day and age. Internet schools....work from home jobs are also a choice.

There is NO REASON for one to have to subsidize another persons lifestyle.


It is the same concept when for example a 25 year old man marries an 18 year old woman who has never lived away from home. The woman's parents insist their daughter should continue her education into post-secondary studies, but the couple wishes to marry right away. The 25 year old man has some seniority in the workforce, but she has none and she starts working for WalMart at minimum wage after they marry. The 25 year old man has created a situation of dependency, whereby the 18 year old woman couldn't support herself fully and she could not survive independently from him. Divorce law takes this all into consideration, especially since the man has assumed responsibility for the woman.


BULL BUTTER!

So this poor women has not got enough desire to better herself and it is the mans fault?

Sorry that is a COP OUT !

How about the woman assume responsibility for her self and go to school on grants and work hard instead of living off the man and then expecting him to finance her mid life crises to find herself!

You make a lot of excuses for women.......The ones I know doesn't need them! They work hard and make their own way. Yet somehow they have managed not to blame their station in life on the other gender!


All these things are taken into consideration in a divorce trial and each situation is judged differently, but is based on the same criteria as prescribed by the family laws in your state or province.


The states that recognize common law marriage.


Alabama
Colorado
Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
Iowa
Kansas
Montana
New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
Oklahoma (possibly only if created before 11/1/98. Oklahoma's laws and court decisions may be in conflict about whether common law marriages formed in that state after 11/1/98 will be recognized.)
Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Texas
Utah
Washington, D.C.


Now notice some of the states that had allowed them in the past are now limiting them by dates. They are no longer allowing the farce to continue.......Wonder why?

Sorry but the archaic laws that make the man pay a women are....well archaic!
Surely women can make their own way in this day and age......I know the ones I care to be friends with can!
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 150
What Are The Reasons For Getting Legally Married?
Posted: 5/23/2011 8:34:51 AM

Lets assume that the stay-at-home parent had a fairly decent income when they married.......the courts take into consideration what their financial status would have been, had they NOT dropped out of the workforce.


Yeah, yeah....

You're really stuck on this bit, aren't you?

Here's another part that you don't consider since you believe that every situation is the same and the poor ickle woman finds herself in dire straits:

My ex was making pretty good money before she got pregnant and after dropping a couple of kids and having me support her, she didn't want to go back to a good paying job. She liked working a few hours a week in a bar where she met the love of her life until she found the next one....

... ten years later she still doesn't work full-time and it's never in the job she was trained in. She knows she can get part of my pension, collects CS and tax credits and lives the life of Reilly. Currently, she's on a two month sojourn to California while I'm here working supporting the kids.

And, again, my situation is not unique. I know of many women who quit working at the good jobs they were trained for once they find out how nice life is with a man who'll keep paying for them, many times even after the woman has left.

I was the best financial decision my ex ever made.

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