Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is online dating a waste of time for men?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 26
Is online dating a waste of time for men?Page 2 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Op.....currently, I have 15 unread emails (one's I will probably just unread/delete) and there are 5 pages of emails I've just let sit and eventually the inbox will clear itself.

Now before someone goes on a tangent of how woman are picky...how rude I am...etc, etc, etc....I'm going to say that I did check out the profiles of the emailers...and even though I have it EXTREMELY clearly stated in my profile of what I'm looking for...they email me anyway. Or...I'm receiving emails from people with a dog as their profile picture...or a motorcycle....or they write about gambling/drinking the night before...or they are not within the age range I'm looking for...the list goes on. The worst is when they send an email about how they fit my 'criteria' and in the same sentance complain about how negative the ex was (ex wife complaining was one of my no-no's). Sadly, out of all the emails I've received in the last month...there is not one that I could truly say made me even the slightest bit excited about sending one back too.

Anyway....what I'm trying to say is that even though she or any woman is receiving dozens of emails...doesn't mean that every single email she receives is going to be from someone that SHE wants to date. If your interested in her...like her profile and see a common connection....give it a shot.

It could be that your email is the one that she is waiting for!
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 27
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 9:34:49 AM
Butterfly hinted at the mathematical reason why so many men are unhappy about the responses:
"doesn't mean that every single email she receives is going to be from someone that SHE wants to date."

Let's assume that the vast majority of messages are initiated by men. Let's further assume that both sexes are only interested in 5% of the dating pool. Since the man chooses whom to write, all his messages are aimed at those 5%. However, he has a 95% chance of being uninteresting to the woman. If a woman replies favorably to 1 out of 15 messages, she is actually LESS picky than the man, yet most messages are deleted from the man's perspective.

The only solution to that perceived problem is for women to start flooding men's mailboxes with unsolicited requests for sex. Let's see how that works out... :-)
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 28
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 10:09:03 AM

It could be that your email is the one that she is waiting for!
"WAITING" for! When will women realize "waiting" is a great way to NOT get what you are looking for. It's like sitting in 1 stationary spot and hoping some guy you really like walks by your position. Probably one of the worst ways to go about finding who YOU want.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 29
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 12:49:25 PM
What's better getting few or no emails that you want or 300 emails of which most are stuff you don't want. I do however know a few women in my town who are on POF who find they are getting plenty of email worth a first meet for them at least and are enjoying the fruits of all those free dinners etc. - to each their own. I found I was getting not a bad response rate when I was looking on POF but again too many too far away or too far removed from what I was looking for to bother with as my profile states I am just here for the forums. I don't think online dating is a waste of time just time consuming.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 30
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 1:15:28 PM
I don't know if online dating is a waste of time for men,but I can tell you that it's a waste of time for me.Some girls inboxes may be flooded but some of ours are so empty that cobwebs have formed.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 31
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 2:02:59 PM

I don't know if online dating is a waste of time for men,but I can tell you that it's a waste of time for me.Some girls inboxes may be flooded but some of ours are so empty that cobwebs have formed
Mine is a glorious spectacle of delicate cobwebs complemented with a family of silverfish on the ground that all scurry away on the extremely rare occasion a message disturbs their peace.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 32
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 2:07:36 PM
I'm with MisterDynomite kinda. I don't message women except on very rare occasion...I think like three in the last year. What I did was put in my profile that to me online dating is like a big Sadie Hawkin's day so if your interested contact me.


It seems to be working...

Then again, I like aggressive, confident, intelligent and driven women. If you like shy meek women then it probably won't happen.
 jamisond
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 33
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 2:25:56 PM
Well the sad thing is 99 percent of this is based on looks so if you have no pictures then you will get next no mail regardless of gender. I find that often pictures on this site are misleading. I have added people to facebook and found from that that they look nothing like the picture or pictures on POF. I really don't know what the point of that is. Once you meet the person in real life you are obviously going to notice if they look nothing like the pictures they posted so I don't see any reason to misrepresent yourself.

As for messages. I think a lot of women (correct me if I'm wrong) dont bother sending messages. They just choose from the messages they get.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 34
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 2:35:55 PM
First of all whether or not someone is misleading with their pictures has nothing to do with getting initial messages on here seeing as no one has seen you in person yet.Second you have acknowledged that indeed it is all based on looks so why would a woman message an average joe when she can message someone much better looking.Why should women do what men will not do?You want attractive women to overlook the fact that they are not attracted to you and still message you yet you will not do the same?

They have a word for what you are suggesting.It starts with an h and ends with a crit.


I guess you will finally have to accept that you are not in the hot camp.Never mind come over to the ugly side.We have beer.
 jamisond
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 35
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 3:07:41 PM
The reason a women or a man for that matter would start messaging an average joe is they start to realize that they have a much better chance of getting a reply from an ordinary looking person than from a supermodel. I'm just acknowledging how it works for I think it's safe to say a huge portion of the population on these sites. Besides if you don't like the thumbnail you don't even bother looking at the profile because that little thumbnail is all you see and if you like it then you click it to see the rest of the profile.
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 36
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 5:35:26 PM

"WAITING" for! When will women realize "waiting" is a great way to NOT get what you are looking for. It's like sitting in 1 stationary spot and hoping some guy you really like walks by your position. Probably one of the worst ways to go about finding who YOU want.


There's alway one that gets their underwear in a knot over something stupid....in in like most cases it's usually wording.

Grow up...geez, I'm not mentally challenged and I'm sure the OP knew what I was getting at. OP...YOUR EMAIL COULD BE THE ONE THAT MAKES HER SMILE AND WANT TO MESSAGE YOU BACK. (is that better?) Should I have stated it differently again? oh voy

no no dear....no worries, I don't sit around waiting for prince charming lol...I think after 20 some years of dating/ marriage/etc I sort of figured it out ;)

Thanks for your charming advise though...got it all handled lol
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 37
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 6:10:14 PM

There's alway one that gets their underwear in a knot over something stupid....in in like most cases it's usually wording.
Yes I know you were just expressing something and the word waiting was most appropriate. Only problem is there are many women who literally ARE 'waiting'...as in the men shall come to me while I select which ones I am interested in. Formula for failure. You want something your chances of getting it are immensely better by being proactive rather than passive. That was my point.
Carry on.....
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 38
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 6:26:44 PM
It only takes one guy out of the many who may contact us. You may be that guy.

If you don't try the outcome is definite.

Focus on the messages you are getting and the ones you have interest in, and don't

worry about who's sending what where.

And put it this way, I've been going on dates and said yes to some of the ones who

contacted me. No contact/ no date.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 39
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 7:21:33 PM


The only solution to that perceived problem is for women to start flooding men's mailboxes with unsolicited requests for sex. Let's see how that works out.

LMAO! So true. Most women would never dream of emailing the types of messages that they receive from most men, which are meaningless, empty or horndog one-liners. To the men who are miffed by the inequity of the numbers of emails women (usually the hot, young with cleavage) get, know that most of these emails are of substanceless quality.


And then there's some of the stories I've heard from the women about actual "dates"... one had a guy show up on their first meet/date with a ring, wanting to marry her. Another I know had a guy telling her how he just got out of prison, or the guy that spent their entire first date (there was no second needless to say) lecturing her on the evils of drinking and how AA saved his life...

A lot of emails doesn't mean a lot of "good" prospects.
 LongLensman
Joined: 9/7/2010
Msg: 40
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 7:34:12 PM
Online dating shouldn't be a waste of time if you are honest with your expectations of the people you're searching...
At the end of the day you really do reap what you sow.
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 41
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 7:49:11 PM

So I have spoken to a few girls that have told me that their inbox is flooded with messages on POF. They are getting maybe 10-15 messages a day. In 10 days thats about 150 messaged. In 20 days thats about 300 messages. The average guy on this site seems to not get many messages at all.

Hmmm...if the lack of emails is what bothers you the most then maybe you should create a new profile disguised as a woman.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 42
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 2:25:18 AM
“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”
“Let not your mind run on what you lack as much as on what you have already.”
- Marcus Aurelius
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 43
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 4:42:37 AM

op, if you're looking for a morale boost, you're in the wrong place. you'll read very few success stories here. mostly it's griping by the ill-equipped, the rurally isolated or those who refuse to admit they've given up.




HAAAAAA! That was a good one. Jameson, don't be so frustrated, as I say time and time again "this" may not be for everybody.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 44
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 5:50:38 AM
this is why i only come here for the forums now. no one replies to my messages nor do i get any (except for one, who we are good friends now, but have no intentions of going beyond that).
 brattymx3
Joined: 4/24/2009
Msg: 45
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 7:21:55 AM
as for jamisond's post, i so agree, so many guys (i sopose women too but i'm not looking and meeting women) put old pics on there ad, you talk to them on the phone and them seem pretty nice, then u meet in person and they look about 10 to 15 yrs older than their pics and dont have much to say or wont look at me when they are talking to me, that really bugs me, i was taught to always look someone in the eyes when i am talking to them. one guy later told me i was just so beautiful he cldnt look me in the eyes when talking to me, PPPLLLLEEEEEZZZZZEEE!!!!
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 46
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 9:03:05 AM
[quote ]This is inaccurate. There are no super models on this site.

How do you know for sure. Supermodels need entertainment to, they could be disguised as anyone without a picture or with someone elses picture. Some average Joes and Janes post supermodels pics on their profile to draw attention so why not the other way around just for a laugh. I can say for sure there are some women on this site who pose for their photo's as if they think they are supermodels and I am sure the same could be said for some men.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 47
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 9:25:17 AM
^^^^ to have a glimpse into the trials and tribulations of the common man and woman perhaps. People seem to be drawn to the lives of the rich and famous and it bears no resemblance to their own. It's not beyond comprehension that someone in the rich and famous see our lives as entertaining
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 48
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 11:47:50 AM
I found it fairly easy to meet women online. How well you do probably depends on how well you write and your attitude more than anything else.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 1:31:36 PM

Even so, I don't see what supermodels would possibly want to do on a lousy free dating site.

i've seen astoundingly attractive women on dating sites, including here, with photos rough enough around the edges to look real (and attitudes to match, usually).

I'm sure they have much better things to do with their time.

time management seems to be the point. my guess is these people are getting so many offers, they need software to manage them.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 2:13:48 PM
Am kinda getting the idea, at least in my neck o' the woods, that the whole Online Dating "thang" is basically a "waste of time" (if not worse). And not due to "quantity" or whatever, but just because there seems to be so much general "flakiness' out there in online dating, and certainly among my own more "mature" singles population.

Overall the sense I get, is that precisely because it is anonymous, "safe", and inexpensive/or free (with little invested), online dating seems to attract alot more of the kinds of folks who probably don't do human relationships or bond so well to begin with.

I tried online dating for awhile after relocating , but just personally have had much better luck (and better quality) the "old-fashioned" way... "IRL" (in real life) meeting people thru friends, volunteering, activities, etc.. But if dating online has managed to work for someone else, hey more power to 'em!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is online dating a waste of time for men?