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 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 51
Is online dating a waste of time for men?Page 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Dating, diets, working out, learning, being successfully are all a waste of time if you THINK they are!

Whether you think you CAN or think you CAN'T... you are correct!
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 52
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 3:55:16 PM

Even so, I don't see what supermodels would possibly want to do on a lousy free dating site. I'm sure they have much better things to do with their time.

Ya...like binging and purging
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 53
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 4:15:56 PM
[like binging and purging/]

lol
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 54
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 4:16:44 PM
[/like binging and purging/]

lol
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 55
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History
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 6:01:23 PM
Re: "You CAN", etc..... the Power of Positive Thinking (aka "The Secret") is fine and all that, but knowing when to Hold 'Em (and when to Fold 'Em) is just as important (sometimes maybe more so....). But personally, I prefer the metaphor of picking the "sport" (and the arena) that best suits you. For example not everybody's tall enuff that they necessarily CAN be a basketball great!
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 56
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 4:42:46 AM

I prefer the metaphor of picking the "sport" (and the arena) that best suits you. For example not everybody's tall enuff that they necessarily CAN be a basketball great!


Here's a few "SHORT" guys that might not have ever tried if you were their parent or coach!

Muggsy Bogues is 5' 3" and played from 1987 to 2001. He's the shortest player ever in NBA history.

Earl Boykins is 5' 5" and played for 8 NBA teams from 1998 to 2008.

Spud Webb is 5' 6" and played from 1985 to 1998. He won the NBA slam dunk championship in 1986

Calvin Murphy is 5' 9" and played from 1970 to 1983. He is a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame.

Nate Robinson is 5' 9" and has played 5 seasons with the New York Knicks from 2004 to 2009. He was recently resigned by the Knicks to a 1 year contract.

Perhaps they're not all "greats" but they surpassed a bunch of tall guys pursuing the same dream, many of those tall guys never got to play as a pro.

There are all sorts of people who overcome their shortcomings despite the odds... James Earle Jones stuttered as a child, now he's one of the best speakers out there!

Saying there's a reason you can't excel at something is an excuse...if you want it bad enough, you can get it! You may have to work twice as hard as the next person though... it's called CHARACTER.


 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 57
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 4:50:02 AM
The most I get in a day is about 5 - but most of them only say "Hi" with a dancing banana

...not sure if that actually counts as a message...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 58
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 6:03:38 AM

This isn`t a contest! Why do you care how many messages a women receives?
It takes only one to find the happy place in life!


Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner! What do we have for him Johnny? Well Burt, we have this lovely BRAIN...and since we KNOW he uses them....

...finally!
 weathervanes
Joined: 3/31/2010
Msg: 59
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 10:00:14 AM
Yep, total waste of time.....where's the logic in sending lots of messages and being ignored?.....
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 60
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 1:24:48 PM

where's the logic in sending lots of messages and being ignored?


So put together a profile telling who you ARE and who you WANT and don't want... then sit back and DO the ignoring! Lol! Just kidding, don't ignore them, ...at least let them know you are or are not interested. This way only women that like your picture and your profile will contact you. hopefully they actually match what you want. Don't get discouraged if they don't.... remember you're only looking for ONE right?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 61
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 6:13:51 PM

Dating, diets, working out, learning, being successfully are all a waste of time if you THINK they are!

Whether you think you CAN or think you CAN'T... you are correct


Matters of the heart can in no way shape or form be related to a generic "rah rah" sports/life feel good statement. You can NOT compare falling in love (or dating)at all with diets, learning, working out, or whatever else ya want to throw out there. Of course if you think the "numbers" game is part of finding the "one",,,they maybe we can talk about the train who thought he could,,,,but, we all know the numbers game is NOT THE WAY(and if it was the way for some,,,it isn't for everyone) In other words, you can be putting a 110%(how about that for a cliche???) HONEST effort here, and that is NOT a guarantee for "success".

Look at Mr. Big Fish and his efforts to help maximize OUR success here in the pond. He's tried numerous "tactics" telling us how it will alllllllll work for us. And I do give him a pat on the back for the effort, but, personally, I don't see it working, if for any reason,,,,these are matters of the heart(not the brain). There is no "secret" formula in the laws of attraction with humans. If there is,,,please show me the way.

I don't consider being in this pond as "a waste of time", for a couple of reasons. I learn here,,,,a lot actually. I also have a lot of my thoughts and beliefs about people here in North America reconfirmed. It's hell, but it is good to know I'm not off in my thinking about the majority of people. Once in awhile though it would good to be proven wrong. When that happens(and it has a couple of times here) I then wish the person that did prove me wrong wasn't half way across this continent.
Read the words that have been spoken here,,,all the advice we are giving. Yeah,,,the single people giving out advice about how well the dating goes here. Ummmmm,,,,sound a little retarded?????? I think it does. Personally I would say to anyone about this place(and those like it),,,,"it is what is". Not,,,,"you get what you put into it"(that's a crock), or any other generic "ra ra" statement ya wanna throw out there. It's not a football game.(well, it isn't to the people that ARE actually looking for that "one" )
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 62
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History
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 6:28:39 PM
Abelian is quite correct! I have never once responded to a "hey wanna meet & get laid?" message, but an amusing few lines, well written, with no spelling errors?
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 63
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 6:32:03 PM
"the single people giving out advice about how well the dating goes here. Ummmmm,,,,sound a little retarded??????"
Not at all. Think about it logically: In my eight years of marriage I have been with one woman and I have not looked left and right - on the contrary, I evaded situations that could remotely resemble a dating environment or an interested female. In the six years after the divorce, I had my more than fair share of dates and met many different quality women 'from scratch', namely via dating. Most from online dating to be precise. Ahh, the memories... I feel thoroughly competent to speak of and about mistakes people make in the dating scene, largely because I learned the hard way. If I meet the right one, I am probably better equipped to make an opportunity happen because I have gone through it a few times.

Once you meet her, it doesn't matter how you did or how often it did not work out before. There are no guarantees, but I am more approachable and laid back than I ever was because of this experience. Now if you want advice on how to make a marriage last you should visit a nursing home. For dating the people of POF are an extremely good resource.
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 64
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 7:02:51 PM

REDDRAGON wrote:

I use to get 5 or 6 dirty emails a day from women.........................I'm glad it's over...


So I have dropped down to only once a week...big whoop.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 65
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 7:31:50 PM
The whole point of saying whether you think you can or think you can't is simply saying your attitude matters!
Face it, if you DON'T think it will work, your negativity will make it the truth either by people being repelled by the outward negativity or you may find yourself sabotaging things without even realizing it.
 greatfnguy
Joined: 8/14/2010
Msg: 66
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 7:50:36 PM

Is online dating a waste of time for men?

Depends on how you look at it.

If you want to meet and date mentally healthy, sane, normal, rational adults I'd say it's a waste of time 90% of the time.

If you want to see a model on how to attract a bunch of eyeballs in order to generate revenue, be entertained, kill time at your desk at work while waiting for a phone call, look at pictures as though they were mugshots to possibly know who to avoid when out in public, and discover phrasing and beliefs that when you encounter something similar in general chat with someone IRL you know to run away as quick as possible (IOW you need a handbook on who not to date and how to spot them) I would say it's not a waste of time.


So since the odds are not good for your average Joe should average men even bother with online dating?

Theoretically and mathematically the odds of meeting someone to date IRL are far worse.

IRL you only have access to those within a certain distance of you, you don't know who is married, in a relationship, or a lesbian. Also all of the people aren't concentrated in one place so there is a lot of traveling involved. Plus most people would feel awkward if going to a bookstore and hitting on a woman, the woman next to her, and a woman next to that one, and a woman beside her as well, all in a row.

Whereas online the majority of people here have been filtered into categories of straight, single, all in one place, and from all over the world, and you can contact them at your convenience rather than when fate or coincidence happens to put you in the same place together.

So

since the odds are not good for your average Joe should average men even bother with online dating?

If we are basing it on odds people shouldn't attempt to date at all.
Based on odds people probably shouldn't ever have left the womb.
 letsgocanes11
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 67
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/13/2010 8:14:57 PM
I'm actually begining to find females on this site not so genuine afterall. I now have mxied feelings about the whole online dating scene. I have made good friends who are girls from it but have not gotten a super relationship out of it as of it. Maybe my approach is all wrong? Who knows? I sure don't!
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 68
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/14/2010 12:07:30 AM
Many people post that they are disappointed in how their online dates turned out, or how so-and-so misrepresented something or lied about some detail like the car they drove or how close they lived.

But consider....are those discrepancies any worse than others you've been told by:

- Your boss about getting a raise or a better work assignment?
- Your parents about going to the amusement park when you were a kid?
- Your friends about paying you back the $100 you loaned them in a pinch?
- Your buddies about helping you move boxes or paint things?
- Your ex-lovers about taking you to dinner/dancing/travel on your birthday?

So what's all the fuss about?
 LongLensman
Joined: 9/7/2010
Msg: 69
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/14/2010 12:59:48 PM
[quote}Matters of the heart can in no way shape or form be related to a generic "rah rah" sports/life feel good statement. You can NOT compare falling in love (or dating)at all with diets, learning, working out, or whatever else ya want to throw out there. In other words, you can be putting a 110%(how about that for a cliche???) HONEST effort here, and that is NOT a guarantee for "success".

Look at Mr. Big Fish and his efforts to help maximize OUR success here in the pond. He's tried numerous "tactics" telling us how it will alllllllll work for us. And I do give him a pat on the back for the effort, but, personally, I don't see it working, if for any reason,,,,these are matters of the heart(not the brain). There is no "secret" formula in the laws of attraction with humans. If there is,,,please show me the way.

I don't consider being in this pond as "a waste of time", for a couple of reasons. I learn here, a lot actually. I also have thoughts and beliefs about people here in North America reconfirmed. It's hell, but it is good to know I'm not off in my thinking about the majority of people. Once in awhile though it would good to be proven wrong. When that happens (and it has a couple of times here) I then wish the person that did prove me wrong wasn't half way across this continent.
Read the words that have been spoken here,,,all the advice we are giving. Yeah,,,the single people giving out advice about how well the dating goes here. Ummmmm,,,,sound a little retarded?????? I think it does.

 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 70
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/14/2010 1:50:08 PM

There is no "secret" formula in the laws of attraction with humans. If there is,,,please show me the way.
Spend time with someone while enjoying what they have to offer as a companion and without rejecting them for whatever they might do that would offend you if you weren't learning to like it.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 71
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/14/2010 4:42:26 PM
^^^^^ NOTHING to do with "attraction" there az. I can enjoy somebody's company without actually EVER being attracted to them. Some people call them "friends".

Good effort though. Anybody else wanna take a shot at that "formula"?????
 bry2167
Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 72
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/14/2010 4:54:22 PM
I think online dating promotes career daters. I am not very good at initiating contact so I take blame in not getting much mail but been deceived a couple times in the past. I have talked to a few gals on here that say they are getting tons of emails so it makes one wonder why they are still on here then. I would be just happy getting 1 or 2 emails a week...lol.
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 73
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/14/2010 5:23:21 PM
"I would be just happy getting 1 or 2 emails a week..."
Sorry, as a guy it's your job to get it going. Here's a thought: Pick three women you like that you think might be your type AND where their profiles don't rule you out. Write one e-mail each offline (think notepad.exe) and save it, don't send it. Make sure it is tailored to the respective recipient. Think long and hard about the subject line, whether it is witty, funny or serious. Review spelling and grammar. Look for awkward style, possible misunderstandings, sexual innuendo (your choice, just be aware). Make sure it is lighthearted, a bit funny and easy to read. Make sure you reflect your personality in it. Now sleep over it. She waited years for you, so what's another day? Read it the next day and you'll see what's good/bad, clumsy/fluent, heavy/light, etc. Fix the bad stuff. Take another day if you are not sure. You have to be behind every sentence and word you wrote, and you better have a few paragraphs.

Then send all three and go to work/gym/pub and so forth. Do NOT check the 'read' status. Do NOT follow up if she does not reply. If you take this assignment seriously, I bet you will have one reply. Now you establish a chit-chat via mail and see how things progress. If you are genuine and reasonable, you will not be chewed out.
 jamisond
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 74
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/14/2010 5:26:44 PM
I 've also wondered why women who are getting loads of mail everyday are still on here. I mean I understand that the majority of that mail is junk mail but surely if your getting 15 to 20 messages a day you should be able to find SOMEONE that interests you in a relatively short amount of time. I plan to leave this site immediatly as soon as I do meet someone if that happens. Getting 1 message a day is enough to work with, but so many people on here are just looking for friends or multiple casual dates and have no interest in long term. You also have no idea how many other people they are talking to on here.
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 75
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/14/2010 6:09:25 PM
^^^
If "meeting someone" was all I wanted, I'd have deleted my profile about 12 hours after putting it up.

If I was on here "just looking for friends," I'd have deleted my profile after a few days ... because it would seem like an utter waste of time.

If I was on here "just looking for a friend ... with benefits", I could have deleted my profile about 15 minutes after putting it up.

If "meeting someone interesting who I like and find physically attractive" was all I wanted, I'd have deleted my profile about a week after putting it up.

But since none of those "if's" are what I want or what I'm looking for ... I'm "still on here."

Surely I'm not the only woman who uses online dating to increase her chances of finding someone to develop a relationship with that will be far beyond "meeting someone interesting who I like and find physically attractive."

To each their own path.
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