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 DTFan88
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 151
Is online dating a waste of time for men?Page 7 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Also in real life if you ask a girl out sometimes you don't know if they really are interested or if they just agreed to be polite and had a hard time saying no to your face. Here you know if their interested because its much easier to reject you. I actually prefer it that way. You know where you stand. I'm not the type that will keep trying if they were not interested. I move on right away. I think their needs to be some sort of initial mutual attraction right away.

The bad thing is they reject you too quickly online. They know that they are getting so many steady replies to their ads that they have no worries in rejecting a lot of guys right away. In the past I've had girls who will write back to me 6 months down the road (from other dating sites) when they are cleaning out their e-mails,etc. That's happened about 3 times. They usually say something like they wish they would have replied or whatever and that I sound like a cool guy, and they wonder if I will still remember them. Of course I don't remember them lol. This wouldn't happen on here since POF deletes messages after a couple of weeks or so.

I still prefer to approach in real life. You can flirt, be funny, etc. and if it is a girl you see on a regular basis you have some time to build chemistry.
 DTFan88
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 152
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 8:27:15 AM

If you read my profile you'll see that I rarely initiate contact...I think it's been 5 or less in 3 years and they've all been women who checked out my profile first.

I've had about 20 women view my profile since joining but I'm either not attracted to them or they live too far away. I haven't written to many of them.
 jamisond
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 153
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 12:51:32 PM
I'm hesitant to write to girls that viewed my profile and didn't send me a message. To me I assume that they were not interested if they did not write after viewing me. My main complaint though is when I get messages from people who I think are only after friendship but I'm not 100 percent sure so I waste time exchanging messages with people who I'm not sure if they have an interest in a relationship. Not that I have anything against frienship but that is not the reason I'm on here.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 154
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 12:56:40 PM

And notice how almost all messages come in from 9pm -2am. I rarely receive a message before 9 at night.



This goes with my theory that women are vampires bro. Be sure to fashion a wooden stake out of a nearby table leg.



Honestly I just think its "down time" for a lot of people....most of them are home during those hours, and online messing around...and then there are people that just cannot sleep.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 155
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 1:39:48 PM

This goes with my theory that women are vampires bro. Be sure to fashion a wooden stake out of a nearby table leg.


"Is that a wooden stake in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 156
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 1:46:56 PM

"Is that a wooden stake in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"



Right. Just call me Peter Vincent, Vampire Killer.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 157
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 2:38:33 PM
I'm hesitant to write to girls that viewed my profile and didn't send me a message.

Why? The worst that can happen is that they won't write back.

My main complaint though is when I get messages from people who I think are only after friendship but I'm not 100 percent sure so I waste time exchanging messages with people who I'm not sure if they have an interest in a relationship.

News flash! If you want something that's a sure thing, pay an escort for sex. If you're interested in a relationship, you have to actually exchange messages with women that might not lead to meeting them and meeting women who might not end up going on a second date with you. You might even have sex with someone who never calls you back. (Whether or not you consider that a plus is a different question.) If you make it clear to women you are interested in something other than friendship, you won't have to worry about why they are talking to you. Women who are interested in friendship won't be in much of a hurry to meet you. Women who are interested in something other than friendship, won't dawdle, so you won't waste much time.

The bad thing is they reject you too quickly online.

In real life, the rejection happens subconsciously before you ever get to make contact, so the only real difference is that you usually aren't thinking of it as rejection.

I still prefer to approach in real life. You can flirt, be funny, etc. and if it is a girl you see on a regular basis you have some time to build chemistry.

You can do that here, too.
 jamisond
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 158
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 2:57:49 PM
I'm actually starting to agree with that comment about some women having too many options on here. I had a girl message me last night and I replied back. I then got a message from her this morning saying that she has been flooded with messages since she messaged me and is no longer interested. She claimed a new one was coming in every 2 minutes. If you think about it guys are just shooting themselves in the foot by sending out all these messages. They are just givng some of the women on here too many options. They need to be less proactive, sit back and let the ones that are serious message them. Take my new approach and choose from the ones that message you.

-The advice above is good. I will take it.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 159
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 3:06:04 PM


I've had about 20 women view my profile since joining but I'm either not attracted to them or they live too far away. I haven't written to many of them.


I get enough profile views I think... I've never counted them but there's at least one or two per day... again more in Fall and Winter. Yet in 3 years I've MAYBE been interested in 5 enough to write... I've been interested in others but they wrote first so...
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 160
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 3:14:28 PM
^^@ jamisond ~ Not that it matters to me personally, but you might want to:
1) be better at discerning horsesh!t when you hear it (example: I don't believe your little story to be based in reality)
2) take the intelligent advice of Abelian and JustDonald immediately above your last post.

just sayin'
 DTFan88
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 161
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 3:24:51 PM

In real life, the rejection happens subconsciously before you ever get to make contact, so the only real difference is that you usually aren't thinking of it as rejection.
If you respond to the woman's positive eye contact and smile by approaching and making light conversation, you are less likely to get rejected (at least initially). Woman usually choose at a bar or other public place who they want to approach them with positive non-verbal signals (the eye contact and smile,etc.) . If the man picks up on that he is way ahead of his peers. I can't think of a similar advantage that online offers (the only thing close is maybe when you notice they viewed your profile).

With flirting in person you can get a better feel of how you are doing by reading the person's body language.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 162
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 3:46:46 PM

Want success? Offer to meet within two weeks of first contact. If she says no, write her off. NEXT!
Why waste a lot of time?


AGREED!



I'm hesitant to write to girls that viewed my profile and didn't send me a message.


Why? The worst that can happen is that they won't write back.


Well... they liked your profile picture enough to click to find out more so you have that! ...And since you don't know if they saw something in your profile that turned them off or used viewing your profile as an online version of dropping their handkerchief in front of you...you have to chance it if you're interested in them.

 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 163
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/20/2010 11:49:06 PM
i don't know but i don't see too many gals in public giving eye contact or signals. atleast not from my area and travels.

if a guy is to get these golden moments than yes i say go for it. approach the woman and see where things go.
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 164
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 1:21:19 AM
When I found out they were getting 15 messages a day I realized it was mostly a waste of time but just being online is no big deal. It doesn't cost time or money so I haven't deleted my profile but I have been busy doing other things I like to do and have not been on this site for weeks. So its not a waste of time unless you are spending too much time or emphasis on it.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 165
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 4:16:37 AM

Well... they liked your profile picture enough to click to find out more so you have that! ...And since you don't know if they saw something in your profile that turned them off or used viewing your profile as an online version of dropping their handkerchief in front of you...you have to chance it if you're interested in them.


This is the 21st century, womens-lib and all that jazz, if they were interested they could've emailed me. Screw this dropping the handkerchief nonsense, she's been reading too many romance novels and is full of too many fantasy expectations anyways.

(Gave up looking on here a long time ago anyways. )
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 166
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 4:29:20 AM

(Gave up looking on here a long time ago anyways. )


So it doesn't work for YOU, doesn't mean it won't work for the OP and thousands of other guys!

GAWD! I hate when bitter people tell others that things don't work just because it doesn't work for them...
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 167
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 4:55:57 AM

So it doesn't work for YOU, doesn't mean it won't work for the OP and thousands of other guys!


Nah, it worked just fine... I just couldn't keep up with the 15+ email/day I was getting, its so much easier in real life...
 txredbull
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 168
view profile
History
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 6:47:51 AM
Yeh, its pretty much a waste of time...you got something better?
 fashiongal2
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 169
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 6:56:49 AM

I know it seems the odds are stacked against guys with online dating, but the only advice I can give is to be patient. Too many guys focus on a girl's pictures and not her profile. If you want to stand out and seem different then every other guy who's messaged a girl you're interested in, read her profile and make references to it.


I agree that some men ( and women ) only care about the photos. Having said that, I do think other men include something about a woman's profile in the first email when they first join a dating site. But after the vast majority of their emails have been read / deleted or unread / deleted, they start using generic first emails. I don't blame them. A man could have a well written email and still won't get a response if she doesn't like the profile and photos.

Personally the content of the first email doesn't matter that much to me unless it is blatantly inappriorate or it included something that wasn't on his profile. I don't need a man to state that we have things A and B in common when I can determine that by reading his profile.
 DTFan88
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 170
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 7:10:05 AM

I agree that some men ( and women ) only care about the photos. Having said that, I do think other men include something about a woman's profile in the first email when they first join a dating site. But after the vast majority of their emails have been read / deleted or unread / deleted, they start using generic first emails. I don't blame them. A man could have a well written email and still won't get a response if she doesn't like the profile and photos.


Well said. A very good point.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 171
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 7:52:05 AM


Want success? Offer to meet within two weeks of first contact. If she says no, write her off. NEXT!
Why waste a lot of time?

AGREED!


But wait, what about when she offers "lets just be friends"? There's a whole 'nother thread on that...
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 172
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 1:04:13 PM

Yeh, its pretty much a waste of time...you got something better?


Let us know when you have investigated all of the other websites and correlated all the results..

Meanwhile some of us will continue to meet new and enchanting ladies IRL on group hikes and barbeque picnic meetups...
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 173
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 2:12:44 PM
But when you throw in decades of anti-male brainwashing by feminists to have every male branded as a potential rapist, or contributor to the -gasp- patriarchy, there fact is that men really aren't the problem.

The problem is a hypergamic society where male contribution and strengths get belittled or ignored



Decades you say? There has been anti female brainwashing since humanity began by misogynist who branded every female as only good for popping out there kids.Heck until not very long ago it was widely believed that the babies that women gave birth too only came from the father and that the mother was nothing more then a incubator.It was the woman who had to face death with every birth,not men.


Women were not even recognized as persons under the law until we were into the 1900's. We were property like the cows,horses and wagons,and as property our owners were allowed to do to us as they pleased.So you want to talk about belittled or ignored? Well men still have nothing on what women have had to go through and who still go through in many parts of the world.Still to this day in many parts of the world women are still allowed to be beaten,raped and murdered by their fathers,brothers,uncles and any other male who lays claim to them.

Still to this day woman are branded as sluts and whores when they enjoy and have an active sex life while men are thumped on the back and called a stud.Men still make more in the work place and still move ahead quicker in their careers.Men still are not expected to do as much parenting as women are so it's the mothers careers who suffer because they are the ones who are expected to take that year off with the baby.Women are still the ones who still do most of the household chores.There may be a few men here and there who contribute equally to child rearing and the household chores,but it's nowhere near equal.

You want to talk about unfair? Pffft! Men still have it good and it's still very much a mans world.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 174
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 2:44:49 PM

Women were not even recognized as persons under the law until we were into the 1900's. We were property like the cows,horses and wagons,and as property our owners were allowed to do to us as they pleased.


Hummmm then why is that more women have filed for divorce in the us from 1867 on?
If they were truly property then they would not be able to file would they?


Still to this day woman are branded as sluts and whores when they enjoy and have an active sex life while men are thumped on the back and called a stud.Men still make more in the work place and still move ahead quicker in their careers.Men still are not expected to do as much parenting as women are so it's the mothers careers who suffer because they are the ones who are expected to take that year off with the baby.Women are still the ones who still do most of the household chores.There may be a few men here and there who contribute equally to child rearing and the household chores,but it's nowhere near equal.


Not in my house! I raised my two children with out any child support from either mother.
This is happening more and more so the point is moot.


You want to talk about unfair? Pffft! Men still have it good and it's still very much a mans world.

Hummm there have been many men on here say they were passed over for a promotion so a woman could be put in the position because of quotas. Even though the man was better qualified and had more experience.

If you truly want it even do it on worth and being the best not because some quota says a woman must have the job. Women have manipulated men from the beginning of time!
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 175
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/21/2010 2:58:39 PM
Hummmm then why is that more women have filed for divorce in the us from 1867 on?
If they were truly property then they would not be able to file would they?



There are some places in the states where women received rights before other places therefore that would give them the right to file for divorce.Most other places those rights came much later.



Not in my house! I raised my two children with out any child support from either mother.


There are always a few exceptions,but on average it's still the moms who do the majority of child rearing.



Hummm there have been many men on here say they were passed over for a promotion so a woman could be put in the position because of quotas. Even though the man was better qualified and had more experience


There are alot of men on here who say alot of things.Most of it is fueled by bitter woman hating misogynist who are delusional.The facts still are that men still make more and receive promotions faster and more often then women.The men on here are by no means the facts of what is really going on out there.Go and look up some real facts and stop relying on the men on here.



Women have manipulated men from the beginning of time


And women have been raped,beaten,abandoned,used and abused by men since the beginning of time.Good God we had to do something to try to escape that.When your only worth in life is whether or not you are young and beautiful then you do what you have to so that life can continue and your husband won't abandon you when you get old.


It's still very much a mans world.

http://www.unpac.ca/economy/paidwork.html
http://www.canadianlabour.ca/news-room/editorial/women-workforce-still-long-way-equality
http://www.working.com/national/sectors/Women+surpass+workplace/2612520/story.html
http://www.catalyst.org/publication/219/statistical-overview-of-women-in-the-workplace
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