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 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 201
Is online dating a waste of time for men?Page 9 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

I'm not aware of any research that has compared the emails sent by men and women to know for sure who sends the more thoughtful emails (thus my use of the word *possible*) but it does make sense to me that the person who sends few emails is more likely to put extra effort into each email than the person who sends out many emails.

You could also argue that the person who sends out few emails sends few emails because he/she isn't very good at writing them or that those who send out many emails get more practice writing. I think anyone who writes well does a lot of writing. I can only go by what I've received in the way of first contact messages from women. However, I'm not sure that it matters for any practical reason. What matters is doing what gets quality dates.

I wrote to a lot of women, but if I had to do it over again, I'd consider adopting jco's approach and wait for women to write to me. The main reason for that is (1) despite changing my status to Not Single/Not Looking and putting a note at the top of my profile that I'm not looking for dates, I still get messages from a about a dozen women each month; (2) Women who contacted me were appeared more interested (at least outwardly). For example, my fiancee contacted me; (3) Writing messages for women who expect prose is harder than whatever work is required to evaluate the intelligence of a woman who just says ``Hi'' and reply to everyone, even if I wasn't interested in a date.

One thing is for sure. If someone decides to cut off his/her nose to spite his/her face by trying to do less work than he/she perceives the ``other side'' is doing, dating here is going to suck.
 cuteazabutton
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 202
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/24/2010 7:19:49 AM
I feel sometimes it is a waste of time for them to be here because they dont even bother to reply back to you when u do send them a message. In their profiles they say to send them a message but when u do and they see your pic with the message and if they dont like it they dont even bother to even say "thank you" but im not interested. Leaving a message "unread/deleted" to me is very rude.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 203
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/24/2010 9:43:20 AM
I have a rather cryptic profile. There's plenty there to talk about if you happen to think like me though.

I get a lot of guys who write "Wow, interesting profile, I would love to have a conversation with you!"

So I'll bite, I'll reply and ask them what in particular captured their attention.

99% of the time, it's the photos. Sigh.
My favs from your profile: French pirates (I hope they had blunderbusses). trebuchets (I can't get enough medieval siege action.), bladed weapons (blunt are good too..spiked maces, flails & clubs etc), Vlad III the Impaler (defending wallachia and impaling foes is good times). If I were to put in ALL my interests the 'repel' rate would go up most certainly (though it's pretty well peaked as is). More info for them to write you off as a weirdo or whatever. But I'm writing this as if I really care anymore ( I don't).
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 204
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/25/2010 8:37:28 PM
Interesting, but not surprising, to see that the thread has gone off topic by so many who have chosen instead to foster a gender war. As far as I am concerned, the "waste of time" is for those who, bitter, unhappy & feeling the need to find fault, blame their lack of success (if that's what you want to call it) on everyone else. If you are of the belief that all people who have one thing in common are the same, I imagine you ARE wasting your time here, regardless of your gender.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 205
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/26/2010 5:15:41 PM
I just looked at Maxim and they say only 5% of men sleep with 95% of all women. To me, it seems only 5% of men get accepted and women do the rejection 95% of the time. Interesting statistics, but still very sad for dudes.
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 206
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/26/2010 6:02:44 PM
95% of women is several billions of women. I doubt that any man let alone 5% of men manage to nail them all.
 *MrP*
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 207
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/26/2010 6:52:41 PM

I just looked at Maxim and they say only 5% of men sleep with 95% of all women.


I don't buy that stat at all.....frankly I wouldn't believe anything you'd read in Maxim anyway. It's more like 20% of men getting 80% of the women or 25%/75%.

MrP
 umbrellaman21
Joined: 9/21/2010
Msg: 208
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/4/2010 7:34:26 AM

and be female.


LOL...guess the men are out of luck. j/k
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 209
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/4/2010 8:32:40 AM
If you are getting one or more emails a day you are not wasting time but yes it has been a waste of time for me, but what else am I going to do. There is not enough money in my account to run around all the time. The escorts services are probably just police waiting for another entrapment case. The government people think we are all just stupid when really we are just broke thanks to their chinese favoritism. So what else is there to do but waste time reading and typing. I put this question to you, my friend because you ask and you deserve a reasonable answer. I don't know why I can't just walk outside and watch 25 to 40 year old women walk by in the wind with no panties on but it has something to do with laws and goddamned politicians.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 210
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/4/2010 8:36:42 AM
Being a woman doesnt make it any easier on here.Haven't gotten a message in months except for the pigs who just want to have casual sex and they think I will do.Whatever I don't care anyway.I have bigger problems.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 211
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/4/2010 9:11:11 AM
Waste of time?
Yeah, huge. All of five minutes to attach pictures, ten minutes of profile writing (10 minutes gets you a better profile than 90% of the guys on here), and about five minutes to send thoughtful messages.

Huge waste of 20 daily minutes. In those 20 minutes you could have almost watched a TV show, drank 2/3 of a beer, or gone for a short walk. Would hate to sacrifice that just to find a nice woman to date...
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 212
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/4/2010 11:09:51 AM
Meh, maybe one should just go marry a complete stranger. LOL! Or find something else to complain about, like why do you have to tie your own shoes? I mean it only takes a few minutes to check for new messages, and you have not gotten any, so what? You won't have to waste your time responding to them, and use your time more wisely by doing something like picking the lent out of your belly button or trimming your nose hairs or remembering to go by toilet paper because you ran out from having such a crappy attitude.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 213
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/4/2010 5:19:08 PM
Is breathing a waste of time?......I guess for some it is.

If you have to ask this questionnaire then the answer is YES, for you it is!!
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 214
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/5/2010 7:32:35 AM
"Is online dating a waste of time for men?"
---------
Neither more or less than it is for women.
 SouthBayNative
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 215
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/5/2010 7:38:18 AM
If it's the same winners online as it is in real life who have nothing to offer yet still message the most beautiful women on here then yeah, you're wasting your time. If you are honest about your attractiveness and what you have to offer and choose women who are at your level your inbox will be overflowing.
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 216
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/5/2010 8:07:23 AM
"If it's the same winners online as it is in real life who have nothing to offer yet still message the most beautiful women on here then yeah, you're wasting your time. If you are honest about your attractiveness and what you have to offer and choose women who are at your level your in box will be overflowing."

Very good post, and very true.

If you want to be happy for the rest or your life, you better get yourself an ugly wife. They try harder you know. LOL!
 SouthBayNative
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 217
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/6/2010 7:29:10 AM

If you want to be happy for the rest or your life, you better get yourself an ugly wife. They try harder you know. LOL!

That explains why I've never had trouble meeting men. Well, God gives each of us something to navigate with and I'll take it!
 1eastshore
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 218
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/6/2010 6:21:41 PM
Not a complete waster of me. But I don't have high expectations either. Internet dating is just another way to potentially find dates.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 219
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/6/2010 6:38:42 PM

Internet dating is just another way to potentially find dates


well said eastshore...

that's exactly how I look at it.

I have several avenues that I look for potential dates.

Hoping they never cross paths!! lol

To me, online dating is a just a compliment to the other avenues which I seek to meet women to date.


Never put all of your eggs in one basket or they will likely break...
 1eastshore
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 220
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/6/2010 6:52:36 PM

Not a complete waster of me


Typo. Should have wrote "Not a complete waste of time".
 Simon4567
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 221
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/6/2010 7:44:52 PM

Is online dating a waste of time for men?


I don't think so, I'm glad I only get that 1-2 messages a day.

I don't envy women for having 150 messages a week, sounds like a chore to me. I don't want that.
 umbrellaman21
Joined: 9/21/2010
Msg: 222
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/7/2010 4:37:33 AM

I don't think so, I'm glad I only get that 1-2 messages a day.


Really? Interesting....X messages per DAY has never been my case...I'm luck if I get ONE a month...but hey that's something.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 223
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/7/2010 10:47:31 AM
Well, if you care more about quality than quantity women are definitely not in a better position. Also, a lot of people don't limit themselves to just one dating site, nor to they limit themselves to just exchanging emails with one person only. If one site sucks just take it for what it is and do your fishing elsewhere. It's as simple as that. If the problem is more personal then work on it, e.g., your profile, the way you write and express yourself, etc.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 224
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/7/2010 1:05:19 PM
even one message a month is not that bad. im talking about initial messages. not responses.

some aren't that fortunate.
 Chiliagon
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 225
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 11/7/2010 1:30:04 PM

Op.....currently, I have 15 unread emails (one's I will probably just unread/delete) and there are 5 pages of emails I've just let sit and eventually the inbox will clear itself.


sorry but I find this is total BS.

who do you think you are to just do an unread/delete to all these people?

you mean to tell me that you can't possibly spend a few minutes to do a quick browse through the messages? that on average will take 5 or so seconds to do?

you're that busy or that short of time that you can't do that?

this is exactly why this site isn't all that it's cracked up to be!

sure the gorgeous men and gorgeous women would disagree but they're the ones who get all the messages!

but they're not the majority! the majority of men and women here aren't gorgeous hunks or babes! they're average or so so looking!

this site really has given complete and total power to the women and it's a joke lately.
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