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 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 117
Is Texting Cheating?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
i just love how people start and post threads about "is doing this cheating?" or "is that cheating?" or "if we sext, is it cheating?... how about oral? is THAT cheating?...." and blah blah blah.

why ask these stupid, dumbf!ck questions to begin with when you know the answer to them? i mean really? why don't these dumbf!cks place themselves in the other person's shoes to see if it's something that they would want to have happen to them?? honestly.....

you know when someone says "i don't mean to be harsh but......"?? in this case, i do. i DO mean to be harsh.

you know what actions you're doing OP. and none of us here knows what is said in those texts of yours. so place yourself in the other person's shoes, and ask the question to yourself again.

if i get caught stealing, should i go to jail? huh? what? but i really needed that plasma tv.....

give me a break.
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 118
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:33:29 PM
I was texting and after a while sexting with a couple guys
I was seeing this other Guy. Things were getting more serious to the boyfriend girlfriend stage. O felt like I was cheating on him
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 119
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:50:15 PM
not wanted to cross the line? being in a committed relationship yet spending lots of time texting another woman every day? affairs don't just happen out of the blue. they happen because two people cross an emotional boundary, which eventually leads to a big mess. why are you texting a guy that is obviously putting feelers out there to see what his "options" are? you are both crossing a line, and if i were in a relationship with someone that was doing that i'd be none to pleased about it.

the only relationship that is okay for you to have with a man that is in your relationship is one where you are friends with the couple. you don't go have drinks or hang out with a man that is in a relationship. that's not cool at all, and it is certainly not respectful of your friend's relationship. there is a reason why married people hang out with other couples.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 120
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:06:20 PM
Yes, it is cheating.

Any "time" you give another man/woman time, you are taking that time away from the one you have pledged your truth and faith too.

It doesn't matter what disguise that time is....


On the other hand.....oh wait, there is no other hand...it is cheating

He may love his g/f but he is not in love with her. If he was, he would never be texting with another woman.

Now you can take this information and think " Great he doesn't really love her so it is OK" It is not OK. You are cheating her out of her time...when he is thinking about you he is not thinking about her.

You can say well if he is unhappy and not in love with her then he would be doing it with someone...why not me?

I say to you...that is your choice to be part of deceit...but I advise against it.

When all else fails...ask yourself if you would like to be in the "other" persons shoes. How would you feel?
 marilynh77
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 122
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/6/2013 8:09:48 PM
You know the answer already. If you were her, would you want the same thing to happened? Yep there goes your answer.
Reaping what one sows so continue but when it bites you in the butt, . . .
Yes there are a lot of unavailable men that seem to be a magnet to single women but leave them alone. Eventually one will be available.
 tnt8
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 123
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/6/2013 8:09:50 PM
If it does not get anybody aroused or look like a date, it's not cheating. We call that friends.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 124
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/6/2013 8:21:41 PM

He has a GF and his texts have crossed the line. Why don't you tell him that


Never mind telling him anything; why are you participating? What exactly is it that makes a man in a relationship with someone else ok for you to flirt with?
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 125
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/6/2013 11:53:33 PM
Cheating is usually when one persons naughty bits come in direct contact with anouthers naughty bits. Probably not yet, but sure is heading in that direction.
 MsWrong2013
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 126
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/7/2013 5:40:17 PM
yes I consider it cheating as well.

I was chatting with a guy for a very long time via text messages. We were supposed to meet up and hang out and see if things goes our way or not but as time passed on neither one of us bothered to ask each other out. He started dating someone else and he didn't tell me and continued to text me everyday. I only came to know about him being in a relationship only AFTER i decided not to be friends with him anymore. He changed his relationship status to be 'in a relationship' since jan! About the time we were still talking and flirting.

Kinda hypocritical since his brother was in a relationship as well and he did the same thing and he told me that was cheating. SO yeah, when u have a gf u shouldn't be talking to anyone else PERIOD! Doesn't matter what the conversation is. There's no need to lie and hide about ur relationship!

Ur lying to 2 ppl and ur definitely cheating on ur gf by making her believe that ur being faithful. Mmmmm it's weird how in the past that the guy himself got cheated on by his last gf with 2 different other guys and this is what he does.

Karma is a ****!
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 127
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/7/2013 5:43:14 PM
Would his girlfriend think so? Would you if the shoe was on the other foot? I think you already know the answer here...
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 128
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/9/2013 9:33:38 AM
the only person you should be asking this question is his girlfriend only only only if this is your first encounter with a male !
 ImNotForYou
Joined: 4/28/2013
Msg: 129
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/9/2013 5:16:40 PM
Would you have a problem with another single girl texting and flirting with a guy you're in a relationship with???
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 130
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/9/2013 5:38:37 PM
If I was in a relationship with a woman who constantly was texting some other man (not family) . I would tell her to pack her stuff and go live with him . I see the comment some one says about nice guys finishing last . Then women wonder why nice guys are so hard to find , it is amusing. No reason to be nice guys any more .Been trying to find a nice woman for 30 years now , to no avail .
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 131
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/10/2013 12:31:51 AM

The instant messages have turned into text messages. And now we text every single day...sometimes for hours. Just general conversation and some flirting.

Yes, that's cheating. If you had a boyfriend, could he consider that you cheating on him? Yes. That guy, is he cheating on his GF? Yes -- assuming they don't have "different rules" since they live far apart... but since he didn't bring that up that doesn't exist.

So yes, he's cheating. It may be a relationship that's on its way out -- and it may not be the harshest form of cheating -- but it's still cheating. His GF doesn't know -- there's a reason for that.
 Vesta_ceres
Joined: 4/5/2013
Msg: 132
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/10/2013 5:20:46 AM
I would stay out of it, completely, OP. You don't have a rapport with this man; you barely know him as an adult.

If he wants to reach out and touch someone (sorry for the cliche), he should be contacting trusted friends and his girlfriend. If he were any true friend to you, he wouldn't embroil you in his troubles.

This is why Facebook acquaintances are just what they are - acquaintances.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 133
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/10/2013 6:25:08 AM
Cheating doesn't happen online - it's a real-life situation ONLY.

Online communications can be symptomatic of cheating behaviors, but make no mistake about it - chatting with someone and f*cking them are two distinctly DIFFERENT things. If you feel their online time is taking away from your personal time, it's up to YOU to tell them. Make it clear what you want - but also be ready to accept that online communications are ALWAYS going on, regardless of who they may be with. If you don't want them to spend time texting other people, give them a reason NOT to, instead of getting online yourself - with strangers - and complaining.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 135
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/10/2013 6:52:32 AM
If you're texting with a member of the opposite sex and you're hiding it from your significant other, it can be considered cheating. This would fall under emotional cheating if the context of the texts are inappropriate. If you have to hide it, perhaps you shouldn't be doing it.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 136
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/10/2013 8:54:36 AM
lexus,
How does it grab you if your boyfriend of 2 years is busy texting another girl for flirting ect.???
You are asking strangers , if that is cheating ? What is important is what you think of it and how it affects you.
For me a person who cheats is dishonest not to be trusted, not just on relationship but on everything..

If I were the girlfriend of that person whom you are texting with, I will see you personally at your work and tell in your face to lay off my man and find your own man..


<div class="quote"> And for me as a single person....what type of relationship is ok to have with a guy that has a girlfriend ? Exciting and embarrasing!! because you have to hide from the girlfriend's rant and she would probably Kick your AZZ..
oh this thread is 3 years old...............
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 138
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/10/2013 2:18:48 PM

but make no mistake about it - chatting with someone and f*cking them are two distinctly DIFFERENT things.

Yeah, but f*cking isn't the line to cross to call it cheating. Kissing & f*cking are entirely different things, too ("No Bobby, you didn't pop your cherry just because you were kissing Sally on the playground"). Mutual masturbation over webcam is different, etc. etc. I gotta tell ya, penis-in-vagina isn't crossing the finish line to mark it as "cheating", while everything before isn't.

Basically, if you're pursuing someone (with non-platonic intent), you're cheating. Talking dirty and flashing the webcame to randoms on chat roulette is very different than going on POF, and talking to dudes to meet up with in your area. It isn't cheating only until you bang them. It isn't cheating only until you make out with them. It isn't cheating only until you meet them face to face. You still pursued them -- on a matchmaking site.

Also, say your GF has one of her gal-pals set her up on a blind date. They exchange #s and text each other for a week, talk dirty, real excited to meet -- he's going to take her out to dinner.... and then you find out right before the date. and confront her. Was it merely a "hey, that's not cool"? No. Was she cheating on you? Yes.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 139
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/10/2013 10:03:53 PM
yeah that's out of bounds, dude has a girlfriend and texting, flirting and talking to you. It's not cheating, but it's disrespectful.
 cajuncooker
Joined: 4/28/2013
Msg: 140
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/11/2013 6:44:41 PM
depends on the text. When I am dating the texts to other females have no innuendo or overtones and id they cannot accept that I am dating then I dont chat with them.
to answer your question what kind of friendship would you want other women to have with your boyfriend when you are dating?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 141
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/11/2013 8:38:31 PM
So many people want to stamp that 'exclusivity' mark on their partner from the word 'go', when in reality you have no control what other correspondence your partner may be having. Several people in here are 'guilty' of having multiple online correspondences - but if they are not dating anyone specific, it's not cheating! Besides, text messages are often taken out of context and easily misunderstood as something sordid when it's just joking around - the problem is, unless you know BOTH of the people involved in the conversation, you are just guessing at what their messages mean.

There's a point in dating when you reach a level of trust and respect for one another - you can tell them honestly what you feel. Some feel that should be instantaneous as soon as you meet, but that level of respect needs to be EARNED over time, not demanded before a relationship even begins! You still cannot control who they talk to, or what it's about - all you can do is tell them you're not comfortable with it. It's up to THEM to decide to stop it. If they ignore you and/or lie about it, THEN you have reasons to distrust - THEN you have reasons to suspect some type of cheating. Even if the message intent is not entirely clear - it's pretty clear they are being disrespectful.

If YOU are the one they are flirting with - you actually have MORE control over the situation - because you can STOP the conversation whenever you want. If you continue to communicate - how is what YOU are doing any better or worse that the supposed 'cheater'? If they cross a line, SAY something - call them on it!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 142
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/12/2013 12:05:43 PM

So many people want to stamp that 'exclusivity' mark on their partner from the word 'go'

I agree there's too many people, off a first date, expect Exclusivity. That's too quick. That's not what this thread is about. It's about a guy who has a GF of 2 years hitting up chicks on an online matchmaking site & texting every day.

Several people in here are 'guilty' of having multiple online correspondences - but if they are not dating anyone specific, it's not cheating!

No, it's not. But again, that's not the OP's situation. It's not like she's chatting with a guy who had a date or two with a gal on POF. He has a GF of 2 years and decides to cheat on her by going online scouting girls. That IS a reason of distrust. And actually, it's CHEATING. No need to analyze every-day messages & texts to see what level of flirting ther is -- the circumstances, being an online matchmaking site and chatting every day-- tell it all.

Here's why I believe that knowingly & willfully going down the route of picking up girls at a bar, online, etc -- even prior to doing anything physical with them -- is cheating:

Say you have a GF of 2 years. Things are okay, etc. There's a guy she befriends and then hangs out with 1-on-1 at happy hour... they chit-chat all the time, and occasionally go out, she may come home late, etc. Nobody reports them kissing or holding hands. You and she go out to the bar one evening and that guy's there... she's mingling with him, and turns to you and says "We're broken up. Sorry." Then they start making out and run to the dance floor, all over each other and go home together. Did she cheat on you? Yes. But she broke up with you, THEN got physical! Doesn't matter. One would be a moron to think that a "life boat" wasn't being created that whole time.

Building a "life boat" (reference to Mad Men) is cheating. Leaving someone for someone else IS cheating. Try telling a gal you're on a few dates with, when talking about what you like in relationships or girl-guy talk, "If we get to the point being in an established relationship, sure, if we fight too much or if I'm bored with things... I'll build rapport with girls I'm attracted to while we're going out, and I'll leave you for that girl if she's a better option..."

You're basically treating it As If you were only on a couple dates -- not an established relationship. When you're in a committed relationship, you don't keep or form opposite-sex friends or potentially more-than-friends so that you can "break glass in case of things going rocky or boring with SO". That's not being faithful. Being faithful means that when you break up, you're starting from Square Zero, as far as options are concerned. You don't go scouting and build draft picks while you're still going out. To say that's minor or a ticky-tack foul is inaccurate.
 Feather21
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 144
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 5/12/2013 9:09:43 PM
Ask Eva Longoria! LMAO
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