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 AUTHOR
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 153
Is Texting Cheating?Page 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
He's starting an emotional affair with you. Nothing physical required. Would you want to be with a guy that was doing that to his gf?
 TheMiddleSister
Joined: 12/23/2009
Msg: 154
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 12/21/2013 8:30:28 AM
No its not cheating !!!
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 155
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 12/21/2013 10:12:48 AM
Of course it is a form of cheating in regards to the OP's thread. She said they started talking everyday(texting) with flirting involved and the guy had a girlfriend. Call it sleazy, "cheating", or whatever you want but hopefully the guy has a tiny bit of respect and stops his current relationship with his current girlfriend. Then he can flirt all he wants and then the other person who is receiving the flirts can figure out for herself that she is next in line if she allows it to be.
 ichellebereel
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 156
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 12/21/2013 10:28:05 AM
I definitely feel like it's cheating. I was dating a guy and he start text messaging a woman he had met, so I allowed him to keep texting her out of my presences (I left Him). I feel like it is totally disrespectful to text anyone that is in a relationship. I would not do anything to a woman that I would not want done to me.
We all have friends of the opposite sex, as far as text messaging the opposite sex as friends only, no flirting no sexual contents, I have no problem with that. I have friends of the opposite sex that are in a relationship and married but I know their mate and their mates text me as well, however, I have some friends that we were text messaging and their mate did not agree with it so I cut off the communication of text messages. Ask yourself, would you feel comfortable with someone text messaging your man and flirting with him? Maybe it's OK you you but a lot of woman will not accept it.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 157
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 12/21/2013 10:29:52 AM
I know this thread is a few years old. OP notes a guy from high school and OP are in constant text contact albeit he has a girlfriend of two years who lives out of town. OP states the high school guy is not in contact with the girlfriend. WHAT? I don't get it? If I knew a man has a girlfriend. STOP! That's it. That's all I need to know. I would not be texting contact for hours in any flirty kind of context. Period. How sad for the girlfriend and I agree with John, it's sleazy and disrespectful on both sides. How can you have a girlfriend and not be in contact? Something is fishy.......
 Carebear85Z
Joined: 2/23/2014
Msg: 158
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 2/27/2014 9:16:44 PM

OP - would his girlfriend be hurt/upset if she saw what the two of you were texting back and forth? That's always a good test of whether or not you are crossing a line!

^^ you read my mind ^^
OP- how would you feel if you weren't single, and you saw conversations of this nature in your s/o's phone?
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 159
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 2/28/2014 2:37:45 AM
Well, it isn't always so insidious. Sometimes it's a matter of having something in common with someone that your spouse doesn't share an interest in. And if that's what the convo typically centers around, with no flirting and such.. then what is the issue?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 160
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 2/28/2014 6:35:04 AM

Well, it isn't always so insidious. Sometimes it's a matter of having something in common with someone that your spouse doesn't share an interest in. And if that's what the convo typically centers around, with no flirting and such.. then what is the issue?


In that case, there's no need to be secretive about it and let your spouse know, and allow her/him to see the texts if they want to, and the other person being texted should be just as open if they have a SO. And if your spouse has an interest in something you're not interested in, he/she should feel free to contact opposite sex friends and do the same.
 Verissa
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 161
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/3/2014 3:53:36 PM
Considering this kind of behaviour led to the end of my marriage I am bias. Generally being friends with someone is ok, texting a friend once in a while to talk about life that is ok, texting for hours on end when someone is in a relationship and their partner has never met you is NOT ok. Would you like some woman doing that with your man? Any male friend I have had who has a significant other, I want to meet their partner or for them to know about me and that I am just their partner's friend and nothing more will EVER come of that. I am not religious and you don't have to be to believe "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" basic respect to treat others the way you would like to be treated.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 162
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/3/2014 5:04:53 PM
Texting is primitive. Texting is to the telephone like telegraph was to the telephone. We've gone backward, not forward in technology.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 163
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/4/2014 3:14:45 PM

In that case, there's no need to be secretive about it and let your spouse know, and allow her/him to see the texts if they want to
Well, in my case the person I text with told me his Gf does know, and said that she has read our messages on occasion. Which tbh, did seem a bit strange- but at least he's being open.

It would bug me on the other end of things for sure, but apparently she's ok with it. The one thing that makes me wonder is how much time he spends messaging me some days. I get that what we discuss isn't something she's into, and I don't have many to talk to about it either.. but.. believe it or not, I am very mindful of how I would feel if I were her. I have brought it up a couple of times.

Maybe it's selfish of me to not want to cut off communication? I just enjoy the talks and no lines have ever been crossed.
 Westernguy
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 164
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/4/2014 3:24:22 PM
I was texting with a gf a while back and suddenly she sends me a text that made no sense. I questioned it and she revealed that she meant to send it to " Rob " not me.

It bugged me because I didn't realize I was involved in a texting " threesome " .

That's the problem with technology these days : the intimate one on one convo with your SO seems to have gone by the wayside.

Even if you're talking to her on the phone she might still be texting someone else on a different gadget.




Westernguy
 sN0Flakes
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 165
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/4/2014 3:45:47 PM

Is Texting Cheating?


Texting is not. But...any behavior that you don't feel comfortable doing with your significant other having knowledge of most likely is. That's one litmus test. Another one is........IF YOU HAVE TO ASK...........
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 166
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/4/2014 4:10:56 PM
^^ If you are referring to my post, I could care less whether you think there was flirting, I know there hasn't been. As to his supposed nefarious intentions, none of that has come out. Not everyone is looking to cheat on their spouse, believe it or not.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 167
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/4/2014 5:35:58 PM
I think the key word here is "most" men are not going to text with someone and not have other motives involved.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 168
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/4/2014 5:40:51 PM

"most" men are not going to text with someone and not have other motives involved.


"someone" = woman
==
I agree with John! Wow, I agreed with John on my prior December post, too. I just may have to text John and let him know Lakers beat TrailBlazers last night.....oooops, he probably already knows. LOL
==
I could not engage in flirtatious texting with a male friend if I am in a relationship with another man. Period. Not gonna happen.
 cesska
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 169
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/4/2014 8:51:51 PM
a man and woman can be friends for years with no sex involved
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 170
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/6/2014 9:17:15 PM

Texting is primitive. Texting is to the telephone like telegraph was to the telephone. We've gone backward, not forward in technology


If you could carry a telegraph around in your pocket, get MSG any time day or night, and the "telegraph" would store them for when you are ready to answer them , and you could forward telegraph msgs to other people, then maybe they are the same.

Texting is useful in some circumstances, not in others. The same as letters, video chat, telephone, face to face, each have advantages and disadvantages.

If you are going to create an analogy, at least create one that makes sense.
 Ilovechristmas25
Joined: 1/21/2014
Msg: 171
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/10/2014 8:15:43 AM
Cesska agree no sex between me and Rich ever in our 20 yr friendship. Since I don't look at every man I meet as a potential sex partner and more likely a human that just chats that will continue.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 172
view profile
History
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/10/2014 9:35:37 AM
I guess this is going to come down to, that for some people, they would never bother to text someone they weren't flirting with or getting sex from, some people. It would seem that for these people they would not be texting/talking to someone unless they were getting something out of it. For others what they are getting out of it is the enjoyment of merely talking to someone and getting lucky somehow. If you can't do it yourself, then yes, maybe you can't understand it in others. But there are plenty of men out there who just like to talk, you know like back when ham radios were popular or CBs, etc., some people like to gab with strangers for no other reason that to talk to people. I'm not naive and I'm nobody's fool, I know full well when a man is having a conversation with me and when he's hinting at something. I'm fully capable of being out in the big wide world and not cheat or lie to a partner just because there are other people to talk to. This idea that men are nothing more than an erection waiting to explode is not only untrue but it's insulting to men who have more going on in their lives than hunting for prey. It's also insulting to women to think they don't know the difference or that they can't keep their panties on if some guy does hit on them. Yes, there are lots of lying, cheating, hunting for sex types in the world and lots of them are online looking to hook you, but that doesn't mean everyone is susceptible to that type of come on.

It's really all about intent, no one falls into an affair unless they intend to, no one is that lacking in the ability to not do something like find someone, find a place to do something with them, then find a way to hide it. That takes planning, even if it's spur of the moment, you still have to do those steps, so no, if someone cheats they meant to cheat. They can lie to themselves and others all they want, when you cheat & lie, it was a conscience act on your part and nobody made you do it. Can you start feeling emotions for someone that you shouldn't, sure if you have contact with people you are going to have some sort of feeling about them, even if it's just indifference, but it's always your choice as to whether you allow your feelings to grow and get out of hand, or if you take responsibility and get out of the situation. If you move ahead to an affair of some sort, you have made that move with the intent to do so.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 173
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/10/2014 9:38:20 AM
I would only care if my boyfriend was hiding his texts...if he is friends with someone, man or woman...I should not have to 'find' these texts, they should be being sent/responded to right in front of me, with me 'in the know'. If you have to hide anything, then you know you are not doing the right thing.
 GoodTimes12672
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 174
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/10/2014 8:32:38 PM
You're going outside your relationship and perusing a relationship with another person.. yes its cheating. You're cheating your person out of your loyalty. If you need someone to talk to, HE should call a guy friend or his gf.. and YOU shouldn't be talking to a guy who has a gf. Period. Would u like it done to you?
 GoodTimes12672
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 175
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/10/2014 8:34:25 PM
I don't share some bedroom interests with my bf, but I don't go looking elsewhere for them to be fulfilled, physically or otherwise. And as far as any other interests, I call my girlfriends for that.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 176
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/10/2014 8:47:02 PM
Well said Daynadaze, couldn't agree more.
 Same_Page
Joined: 8/21/2012
Msg: 177
Is Texting Cheating?
Posted: 3/22/2014 1:33:01 PM
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheri-meyers/infidelity-emotional-sex-technology-cheating_b_1434356.html

This book, addresses the issue...and yes, there is a very fine line. Put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes. How would you feel if YOUR man, was spending so much time texting with another woman...how would YOU feel about it?
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