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 pat11863
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 26
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Giving a girl flowers before a datePage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Onenightengagement says it best
 letsgocanes11
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 27
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 10:05:57 AM
I kind of was looking it as if the girl would be like: "wow this is a really sweet guy and might actually be worth dating." or maybe "No guy has ever bought me flowers before." Just anything to put a smile on their face and make them feel good about themselves or even make a bad day turn good would be ideal in my book. I really wouldn't have any expectations especially not after a 4th date. The last thing I want is the girl to feel as if she owes me something. Good idea on flowers after the date. I really like that idea. Thanks again.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 28
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 12:33:56 PM

The last thing I want is the girl to feel as if she owes me something


no woman would owe me anything for flowers .. if I bought her flowers it would be just to make her feel better ..not a bribe ..not a payment ..just a gesture ..I have bought flowers for a woman sitting on a city bench ..just because she looked like she needed cheering up ..I had the flower guy to give them to her just as I was walking out of sight .. with the message ...that guy thought you needed cheering up

If Im going out on a date with you its a bet I will make some sort of gesture ..flowers or a token gift ..It will be of no loss to me if we become nothing more than friends ... also I understand a woman offering to pay her half on the first date ..but your offer will be declined ..If I ask you to accompany me I insist on paying .whether we hit it off or not ..its not some chauvinistic ego trip ..its just the way I was raised ..so please allow me the honor
 1966ok
Joined: 7/11/2009
Msg: 29
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/15/2010 10:08:13 PM

I'll take a $20 , keep the flowers


It's a date then!
 Captain_Wayne
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 30
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/16/2010 12:16:08 PM
I think this is getting blown entirely out of proportion. I ALWAYS give a girl flowers on the first date, just never red roses. My own mother taught me that I should do this and virtually every single time the response I have gotten was delighted surprise. I just think of it as a polite and sweet sort of hello. And since guys are usually not crazy over flowers, I have had a number of women bring me small gifts of one sort or another when meeting for the first time. There has never been any feeling of bribery or expectation. When did dating become all about all this psycho-babble stuff?
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 31
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/16/2010 2:13:22 PM

I ALWAYS give a girl flowers on the first date, just never red roses.


a single red rose works really well...I just wrote this and then read it ..didn't like what it looked like ...by works well I didn't mean in order to get in your pants ..my motive for giving you a flower is only to make you smile ..brighten your day ..and possibly to give you a favorable impression of me
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 32
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/16/2010 2:20:55 PM
I sometimes arrive early and put a little cactus on her chair. The ladies don't always see it, but they always notice...
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 33
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/16/2010 2:35:55 PM
^^^Talk about sending coal to Newcastle.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 34
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/16/2010 4:08:07 PM
I sometimes arrive early and put a little cactus on her chair. The ladies don't always see it, but they always notice...

If you have to pri ck her a$$ to get noticed, you may come across as desperate...

(Ah, and the pun was totally unintentional..)
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 35
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History
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/16/2010 9:49:11 PM
When I was dating, most times, I would.

I stopped that practice somewhere down the road when I realized it was more problematic that I'd ever dreamt it would be. It does seem like a certain number of women don't like the practice - and you can't tell ahead of time which is which.

So, it ended as a concept for me, simply because of that reason.
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 36
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/16/2010 10:39:39 PM
LOL...any guy that has brought flowers BEFORE the first date...tried sleeping with me on the date. I remember one that even brought flowers before meeting me...(meaning it was supposed to be a meet and greet)...then he sat there and smiled like the Chesthire Cat (like he had already turned down the bed covers in his home).

I'd like the idea of the posters that suggested after the date...like the next day. Better still...after a couple of dates...then a woman can feel/think/see (pick one) that he has put some thought into seeing her again. Better yet as it was also suggested...a plant or flowers that she would actually enjoy.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 37
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/17/2010 1:03:48 AM
did she bring me meat and meat by products ?

then probably not for the first date.
 Quadrophonic84
Joined: 12/7/2009
Msg: 38
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/17/2010 4:30:06 AM
I used to bring women flowers on the second date. I've learned my lesson though. In general they think they've got you beat and they lose interest in the chase. I read somewhere a really crude yet wise saying about this: "Don't care about her until after you've had sex with her." It's been disappointing to find out how much that applies to the average woman.

-Alex
 letsgocanes11
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 39
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/18/2010 12:44:38 AM
Just to follow up on this topic. I ended up sending the girl a few roses and had them delivered to her house the day after our date thanking her for the date. She was estatic about it and super excited. Lil Brooker and others... Thank you for the great advice.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 40
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/18/2010 2:00:06 AM

I used to bring women flowers on the second date. I've learned my lesson though. In general they think they've got you beat and they lose interest in the chase. I read somewhere a really crude yet wise saying about this: "Don't care about her until after you've had sex with her." It's been disappointing to find out how much that applies to the average woman.

-Alex




That is a damn, damn great saying right there Alex.
 Gully Creepa
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 41
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Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/18/2010 4:47:57 PM
The only time i give flowers is at funerals.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 42
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/18/2010 6:19:43 PM
"I'm always touched by a gentleman who thought enough of me to give me flowers when we were getting to know each other. I've had men bring a small bouquet (or a single rose) to our first meets, and some have brought a beautiful bouquet for our second date. I'm always touched by the gesture."
-----------------
*Laugh* Since you're here I guess their attempts led nowhere.

Flowers, or anything else for that matter besides your company, is just too much and desperate. As some people have already pointed out - it looks like a bribe. Stuff like that comes when you actually know where you have each other so to speak.
 HereN916
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 43
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/19/2010 12:13:09 AM
I've had flowers given to me on a first date, and I didn't look at it as being desperate, or a bribe, etc. In fact, I considered it to be very thoughtful and rather classy and I enjoyed them very much.
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 44
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/19/2010 3:08:16 PM
Well after reading this thread, I find myself reaching for the tylenol again!!

I used to do this. Stopped it, kinda got to the place where it was confusing.

Some women appreciated the gesture. Others thought it stupid and sappy. Still others thought it a pain in the azz. Ya know if you read this thread through, women have as many opinions on it as there are kinds of flowers!!

Who thinks it makes you look desperate, or clingy. Who thinks it's a nice gesture. Who thinks it's a pain in the azz, cause you have them at the restaurant when you meet them, they then have to carry them, OR take a chance and walk them back to the car, your not supposed to see for their safety! Hahahaha!

A single rose is better, but if she isn't careful, the bud comes off. I've also had women tell me, no thank you, for a second date, because they thought the flowers(a curteous jesture) made me look too serious. IT'S A FREAKIN BUNCH OF FLOWERS! Not an engagement ring.

Why don't you women get together and caucus about the proper procedure! Hahaha!!! This was entirely a different matter when you picked the woman up at her house, and she could leave them there. Some of you put waaayyyyy to much thought into a nice jesture, if you ask me.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 45
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/19/2010 3:12:08 PM
" like the type of man who gives flowers before a date. Shows he has some pride and that he isnt a cheapo, who is gonna whine about having to pay for the date."
--------------
Well, then YOU pay and stop expecting men to do it. And since women demand equality in every area it makes even more sense.
 LongLensman
Joined: 9/7/2010
Msg: 46
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/19/2010 3:15:32 PM
Anything that shows another side of YOUR personality is the most honest way to present yourself to someone you are attracted to.

Whatever the gesture whether it's flowers or some other token it will either be received with grace, disdain or ambiguity and that will tell you something about the person you are attracted to.
This is just another facet of compatibility.
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 47
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/19/2010 4:20:11 PM
I always like getting cut flowers. Even if it was just plucked out of someone's garden or flower bowl a few minutes before our first meet.

If you gave me flowers on the first date expecting to get anything other than a smile...well, I'm not responsible for your unsaid assumptions any more than you are for mine. But we will most likely both be disappointed in one way or the other over an assumption.

I prefer cut flowers to a plant that will die in a few days if I don't remember to water it.
I've had men ask me which I prefer, and I've told them cut flowers and then they've brought me a pot of flowers instead. That tells me that either they don't listen or that they think they know what I like better than I do. See last paragraph.
 Captain_Wayne
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 48
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/19/2010 4:37:50 PM
"desperate, or clingy." These two, along with "needy" are the most misused descriptions in the book. Women usually use these labels on any man that does not float their boat who dares to ask for a second or third date. A very attractive man who brings flowers to a first date will often be described as "so very romantic," whereas if it is a small and ugly man with a pot-belly who brings the flowers, the same woman is quite likely to describe him as "desperate and needy."
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 49
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/20/2010 5:44:06 PM
^^ I'll second that.

As for women expecting men to pay, why? Just give me ONE good reason why a man is supposed to pay for anything, be it on the first, second or 15th date? Why? The answer is that he's not obligated to give her more than his presence just as she gives him hers. He shows up and that's it. The rest is up to him - AND her. Bringing someone flowers, jewelry or whatever doesn't change anything. If it's a gold digger she'll come back for more, using the poor ba$tard who thinks that money will buy him love, attraction and happiness - how sad - how pathetic. I'd feel sorry for a fool like that. Who buys what, where and when has nothing to do with it. Even worse is to EXPECT it from someone only because yeah, it happens to be a man and traditionally men have taken that on to their shoulders. Now, as times have changed and women demand equal rights everywhere - you know what - fine - but equal rights also come with a price of their own. Nothing is for free in this world. A man who doesn't pay isn't more "cheapo" than the woman who expects him to pay. Personally I wouldn't touch a chick like that with rubber gloves... If you want that drink, those flowers or that jacket - great - pay for it yourself.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 50
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/20/2010 6:02:30 PM
As for women expecting men to pay, why? Just give me ONE good reason why a man is supposed to pay for anything, be it on the first, second or 15th date?


Well, women will slap you upside the head if you expect or even hint that you want so much as a kiss for giving them a rose....

...but you STILL have to pay for p.ussy....

... sometimes access to the golden vagina is just less expensive than in other situations....

It ain't rocket surgery....

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