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Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 48
No Contact ConceptPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
deal is "no contact" is not supposed to be some designed rouge, or grand scheme to get your ex to "realize what they had"...

honestly- we know what we have in a relationship....which is why we break up with people. most of us have been in enough relationships and/or have at least had that one "great" relationship as it were to know an average relationship. to know a relationship that just isn't gonna work.

so when we break up with someone, we don't want them back....we're tired of their issues...we feel like we can do better and/or even being alone is better.

yet for some reason when we get dumped- all this logic and reasoning is thrown out the door. our own ego kicks in "how in the world? I'm the best person my ex has ever had....surely if they did not realize it when we were together, being without me for a week or 2 will open their eyes!!!!"

yes people do get back together, but I would gather (and in my own experience of dumping some ladies) that the only times I've gotten back with a woman that I dumped was when maybe I dumped her in the aftermath of a bad fight or some other issue where I really did not want to be apart from her, I just wanted to get away from her actions.

so yes I took her was nice for a bit...but then the behaviors had not here we go again...

in the end- no contact is to allow ""YOU"" the dumpee to sever yourself from the dependency of having someone close to you. it gives you time to breathe your own give yourself the space needed for your mind to kick in at some point to realize that that person does not value being with you any longer...

so you can move on with your own life....

forget about the tricks.

and when someone that broke up with you continues to keep in your life at arm's not allow it....of course they will do that most times. even tho they broke up with you, you still were a large part of their life for the past amount of time the two of you were together. a lot of times, they'll keep you at arm's length UNTIL they need you to fulfill something in their lives...

do not allow yourself to believe they want you back...because they do not. they are being selfish (as most everyone who has dumped someone before is) and this will never allow you to get along with your life.
Joined: 9/24/2010
Msg: 49
No Contact Concept
Posted: 10/10/2010 4:24:28 PM
that is AWESOME words Boondocksaint!!!! great advice. So glad u are on here to keep these things in our minds ALWAYS!!!
Joined: 11/13/2009
Msg: 50
No Contact Concept
Posted: 10/10/2010 9:25:13 PM
^^^ another smart and helpful post by Boondock

We were together 26 years.... my brain tells me to let go of my 1% of hope... but my heart presses 'yes' when he IMs me.

** P.S ** I live in Denial Florida but no worries, my friends are planning an intervention/moving party
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