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 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 51
So How Does Fishing Really Work?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
well I read the first page then scanned the rest ..the guy has a point and made it

you women want an original message ..lets think about this ..the only thing that he knows about you for sure is that you are cute ..and he knows you don't want to hear that ... you may say things in your profile ..but after reading a few hundred thousand profiles they all become cliches ..... At this point the only thing he knows is your hot ..well the picture is ..it may be a gozillion years old or not even you but ...now I have never been at a loss for words with someone I know but saying something to impress someone I don't know now that's tough and being that I have to contact 763 before I even get a reply ..you can only be original just so many times ..I don't really know the head count of women on POF ..but accept at this point in the game you are nothing special ..and he has no idea whether you will ever be .. but if you just delete every hi how are you ..lets chat ..chances are you have already blew off Mr Right ..or at least a few hundred great guys who would have been a fun date

but guys are not very smart ..even the fishermen among us ..I have posted the secret many times to success on POF for guys ... I too was just like them when I first came here and got the same results zero ..then I found the forums and started not only reading but thinking ..I forgot the bar room mentality ..and set out to bait my hook..with something that would get bites ...I stopped running up and down each side of the pond and casting ...

I wrote a profile ..and forced myself to think like the women that I had been reading in forums ..I took about a week and wrote with feeling passion I forced myself to write from my heart ..not my gonads ..I talked of my dreams my philosophy and my likes and dislikes ..I admit it got a bit racy but I refined those parts till it was stated with class instead of crass

then I used a spell checker and then I put it up.. and the women started emailing me .. (some of their lines were not much better than mine had been ..but they were women they can get away with it )...some wanted to date some wanted sex..some said where have you been all my life .. and some just wanted to say WOW ... I got as many dates as I wanted ...I made a lot of friends ... then my dating era ended but I'm still hooked on the forums ..I am now a different kind of man ..or my approach toward women is completely different ..and I owe it all to POF and the women who rejected my bait at first

and I never got a date when I made first contact
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 52
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/16/2010 3:11:34 PM
JRod,me thinks you are looking WAY too hard in to this.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 53
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/17/2010 1:19:13 AM
xyu ego Hugodolucb, 5ezcelbHoctb Depmo

Its called Fishing, not catching.
For me Best fishing is overseas, spring run on the Kamchatka
No silly American limits, rules, regulations, or restrictions.
And to hell with catch and release.
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 54
view profile
History
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/17/2010 3:34:28 AM
Someone told me that POf is basically just a "hook up" site and that one shouldnt take it too seriously. I started to think about it...EHarmony advertises that they will find your perfect match....for life. POF basically states "hey, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so if someone doens't suit your fancey immediately, toss him/her back."

I dont like generic emails either. I also don't like the emails that start out with "whats your phone #" or "lets set up a web cam"

There's also something about dating on the internet that takes the thrill out of meeting someone new. There's no challenge to it. I still love the rush from having a chance meeting with someone and having it turn into something special. When you meet someone based on a picture or an email it just takes the fun out of finding that spark.
 Fishalways
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 55
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/17/2010 3:51:35 AM
As a lifetime fisherman, I think the analogy is fine.
I specifically target both the type and size of fish I go for on the water. I do this by using specific baits or lures and frequenting different locals for different species and using different methods depending on what I want. So fishing can be very discriminating.

I use the same for POF. I have stated very specifically what I like to do and what kind of person I want to be with and use that same discriminating filter with who I choose to email. When I do email a woman, I do write a unique email that shows how I feel I am interested in her and why and that I actually read her profile. Hence why I won't email a woman with very little in her profile. To continue with the fishing analogy, why would I throw my bait at a fish with no sporting value. (ok don't come down on me for saying sporting, I don't view dating as a sport for crying out loud )

The OP's emailer simply wasn't a GOOD fisherman.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 56
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/17/2010 12:40:14 PM

You got the same message twice from the same guy. How do you know every other girl in your area got the same message? Have you asked many of them?


I didn't know at first, but things seemed fishy when it would be the same message with the same typing errors. Then a girlfriend of mine (she is the one that told me about POF) and I were talking about this site and some of the ridiculous messages we receive on here, so out of boredom we decided to check if the same people message us. Indeed the same message, with the same spelling errors was in her inbox more than ones also. No one is assuming here HardwoodFloorBoard, just stating facts.

Surely if I receive a 'hi how are you' message, I have no way of knowing if it was indeed sent to every girl in my area or not because there is nothing that made the message stand out in the first place. But when one receives an autobiography or something along those lines, that written novel is easy to track (in this case I just so happened to see my friend got the exact same message and I am sure us two weren’t the only “lucky” two). Just common sense, but let’s not make a bigger deal of this that it really is. It’s rather simple to click delete and call it a day.
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 57
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/17/2010 1:15:58 PM
This was an amusing thread!! Hahaha!!

Generally shows the absurdity of most, due to expectations.

Women expect men to do all the work(initial messaging), men expect women to answer all emails. BOTH expect everyone to see it there way, when they message you or how you see dating.

Generally I believe you post a profile that reflects YOU, not who your looking for and certainly not who your NOT looking for! Then view some profiles, check out who your attracted to, who shares interests and send a few emails. Oh a few is just that, if your messaging every woman or man with in 150 miles, your out of your mind.

Now some will say "Hey I wait for them to contact me", others will think "if I email 100 I'll get a date" and still others think "gee I hope shes hot and I'll get laid".

There is no right or wrong, just what you do.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 58
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/17/2010 1:45:22 PM

You got the same message twice from the same guy. How do you know every other girl in your area got the same message? Have you asked many of them?

Women on here assume that when they get a short, overly simple message from a guy (like Hi, how are you?), it's been sent to hundreds of other women too. How do we know that for sure?

We don't know it for absolute certainty - but based on the posts in these forums that admit/announce as much, my male friends, talking to male co-workers and acquaintances, and the content of the message probably being generic enough to send to more than one, and finally my friends who get the same message online and come-on offline enough to know it's pretty common - it's safe to say that more often than not men tend to shoot for quantity and cast a wide net. One only need ask why would the guy NOT send it to hundreds of other women?
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 59
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/18/2010 1:57:38 AM
Honestly, I think some people just enjoy finding things to nitpick and b*tch about. Because lets face it folks....there are probably some less attractive ladies on here, who WISH they had this problem. Too many emails, is a hell of a good problem to have when it comes to being online.


If you're getting mass amounts of generic messages to the point where its beginning to annoy you, then perhaps its time to set up a filter on your plentyoffish account?
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 60
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/18/2010 9:16:21 AM

If you're getting mass amounts of generic messages to the point where its beginning to annoy you, then perhaps its time to set up a filter on your plentyoffish account?

Good idea. Imposing a minimum-character limit does help. There'll still be some who'll literally fill it with spaces and periods rather than actually write something (I swear I am not making this up), but it definitely cuts down on the "Hi, I have nothing whatsoever to say" mails.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 61
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/18/2010 9:51:17 AM
^ Haha so not true. I have my limit set to 100 characters minimum. Meaning I don't want an essay, but I want a person to come up with a bit more than 'hey there'. It's hilarious though, when I get a message that goes "hey...sup...I need to keep typing, I have nothing else to say lalalalalalalalala asjdhaksdahdkad". Sometimes if a person is ignorant, even any amount of set limits will not help.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 62
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/18/2010 9:58:14 AM
You know, the next time a woman has a limit on how many words she wants me to write...Im going to be a smartass and write her the LONGEST EMAIL SHE HAS EVER GOTTEN......EVER.



I'll be poetry....she'll have tears in her eyeballs from reading it.........not because it'll be a beautiful masterful work, but because it'll be so damn long.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 63
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/18/2010 10:09:23 AM

Sometimes if a person is ignorant, even any amount of set limits will not help.

Yes, I know; that's why I noted this myself in the post to which you are replying. But I really am sure you'd get even more like that without the restriction. It may not look like it's helping, because they still show up, but try taking it off and watch the number of moronic two-word messages go up! Well, no, don't actually do that, it'll just be annoying...

You know, the next time a woman has a limit on how many words she wants me to write...Im going to be a smartass and write her the LONGEST EMAIL SHE HAS EVER GOTTEN......EVER.

That would totally crack me up! I'd block the guy who did it, but it'd be funny!
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 64
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/18/2010 10:15:03 AM
Well

He kinda has a point but not. I would agree, to a certain extent, that your expectations might be out of whack. I mean that as far as stating it several times In your profile...not needed. That space could have been used on one of your interests sweetness. Or talking about the type of man that you like. I don't see that anywhere and maybe, and this is me, having something about the type of man that would catch your attention would help weed out some of the "yo, was sup" guys. Just a thought--expending positive energy on your profile would be better, don't you think?

And I thought you younger women were more...liberated? You're very pretty...but why wouldn't you initiate the first contact with a guy? I'm not not clear on that with women, regardless of their age. Sitting back and waiting on the big fish to come along doesn't always work very well...in your case it doesn't seem to be working at all. You really haven't seen any guys, besides the one, that intrigue you?


In the end though...you know what???



You get what you pay for. Free sh..t is just that...free and sometimes sh.tty. Can't be helped. Are there quality people on POF? Yes there are. However...will they be what you're looking for? Mostly not. Maybe a description of what you want, versus going on about silly messages you get, might bring a better calls of fish nearer your hook.

That and changing the hang out option. If you're ready to date, hang out, especially for one as pretty as you, is like a red flag for a guy.


Hey...could that be why you're not getting real messages??? Hang out versus dating? Even if you don't want something serious, dating might be better. Just a thought.

Honestly, if I were your age and as pretty as you are...this would probably be one of the last things I'd be using.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 65
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/18/2010 10:31:56 AM

That and changing the hang out option. If you're ready to date, hang out, especially for one as pretty as you, is like a red flag for a guy.
Hey...could that be why you're not getting real messages??? Hang out versus dating? Even if you don't want something serious, dating might be better. Just a thought.
Honestly, if I were your age and as pretty as you are...this would probably be one of the last things I'd be using.


Well I see your point AfashionLady. I really do. I honestly registered here just for the forums, hence the 'hang out' bit in the what I am looking for field. I eventually met up with a man on here (whom by the way is the guy I did contact first, but as noted from my other thread that didn't go anywhere). I guess POF is just an option for me, meaning I am not putting my bets on meeting anyone here.

Another thing for me it is harder to meet men than for some girls my age. Reason being I don't smoke, don't drink, don't really enjoy partying. This is just me and the way I am. 99% of my friends do everything I just listed plus more. It might be just because of my age, and this is what people my age are “supposed” to do, but since I have "outgrown" that, I find it rather boring to associate with people that live for the weekend just to club. I had my crazy period, hence all my tattoos, but my way of thinking now tends to be a bit different than most people my age, so it's honestly easy to make friends, but those are not people I would take to heart and even consider having anything meaningful with down the road.
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 66
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/18/2010 11:00:42 AM
What you do is, you get a bag of steel BB's and a can of corn. Then you open the corn, strain the kernels, put them in a bowl. Then you take each kernel and put a BB in it, and staple it shut so the BB stays in. Then you go out on the lake and throw the corn in. You wait for about ten minutes, then take your big electromagnet and switch it on. The fish that ate the corn with the BB's inside will come up to the magnet, where you can pluck them off and put in a bucket. For bigger fish you can use ball bearings and grapefruits or mangoes. To catch eels, use pipe cleaners ran through hot dogs or wind twist ties around licorice ropes. The basic idea is to harness the electromagnetism using foodstuffs and subterfuge in service of your intention.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 67
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/18/2010 12:37:03 PM
Sweetness, when I was your age I did not date men my age. They were at least 5 years older. Why? Because I didn't party, drink, smoke either. I liked to go out and have a drink or two, but not the drunk girl thing. What I found was that the men who were more interesting were usually a few years older than I was. Not old enough to be my dad old, but someone who was maybe a bit more accomplished and not so worried about partying the night away. Sure, those guys are gonna look at your body first, that's life. But they also will see that you've got some substance and respond to that as well. And they won't be out in the clubs...well those that would be more of what you're seeking.

Give it a thought--you're 23 right? Dating a 28 year old isn't that big of a deal, nor would a 30 year old one be. It's a matter of your comfort level. And if you've already done that, consider doing it again. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by deciding to date a slightly older man.

And please, really, add something about what you want in a man to your profile. You're truly doing yourself a disservice by not doing that. I say that cause it's quite possible that a guy you'd be interested in has looked at your profile but has no clue if you'd be interested because you don't speak to that. Some men need direction...and there's nothing wrong with helping them get to you, versus keeping them away by mistake.

Cheers!
 sweetlikesugarcane
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 68
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/21/2010 7:59:48 PM
That guy is crazy. Ignore him. It takes a minute to write a short personal message.

And, don't get me started on the spellcheck....
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 69
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 10:53:13 AM
I seriously can not fathom or understand how someone as attractive, young and vibrant, as the OP is would even ever feel the need to join a dating site to find a date. Some folks will generally view an attractive and beautiful profile(bait) as either a fake profile or a scam profile, so that maybe why the op got a message from a bluefish instead of a King Mackerel. As far as fishing goes, to be a successful fisher person, it really comes down to being patient and having enough perseverance to keep going until you finally catch the prize lobster, mackerel, yellow fin tuna or what have you. Also one must know when to throw something back to the sea, or when to keep it, because one may have already had their prize catch in hand, but released it back in the sea, thinking the next one is going to be even better, and of course the next one may never happen.. So there you go, I have had a lot to drink today so if this post does not make any sense I am sorry.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 70
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 11:04:53 AM

I seriously can not fathom or understand how someone as attractive, young and vibrant, as the OP is would even ever feel the need to join a dating site to find a date.


Well I am not here to find a date. I am now mostly here for the forums, which is stated on my profile. Getting dates is not a problem at all, but I seek something 'real' which I haven't been able to find out in the real world. I joined a dating site...for the forums, then I stayed and actually filled out my profile for a simple fact that I never know who might come my way. Being on this site is perhaps an opportunity to meet someone decent that’s on the same page as I am….so I choose to keep my profile up because I don’t want to miss out.

You basically are making it sound like young, vibrant people shouldn't be on a dating site because there are plenty of options in the everyday walks of life. Which may be true, but then again I look for quality not quantity. I'd rather not waste my time going on a million dates that lead to nothing and bore me to death.


You said you are drunk though, so I will give you the benefit of the doubt with that one.
 cmd1957a
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 71
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 11:08:48 AM
Is there anything wrong with asking that he actually reads your profile, sees things that he finds interesting, initiate contact in such a way that you may find him interesting and want to find out more about him? Asking a lot of somebody who you may be spending a significant amount of time with, arent you? Wouldn't you much rather get 1000 "Hey babe damn you're hot, lets hook up" emails and then try to guess which one comes closest to being human?

No OP, you are not asking too much. My guess is that only difference between you and most of the other females on this website is that you told them up front what you expect. I would guess most show them whats up by clicking delete and moving on.



I seriously can not fathom or understand how someone as attractive, young and vibrant, as the OP is would even ever feel the need to join a dating site to find a date
...Wow, you need to check the calendar. That type of thinking is about 20 years out dated. What people have discovered since then is, long hair is a pain in the ass, Communism doesnt work well and computers are a great way of getting to meet people you never would have met otherwise.
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 72
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 11:25:16 AM
"Well I am not here to find a date. I am now mostly here for the forums, which is stated on my profile. Getting dates is not a problem at all, but I seek something 'real' which I haven't been able to find out in the real world."


You are not here to find a date, but yet are here because you enjoy the forums, and while you are enjoying the forums, you are also hoping to find some one to date with substance and everything that you want in a partner... This may explain the response or responses or bites from all the bluefish. But how can you catch something real, when your bait is being used to" catch" forums, instead of fish. You can't say you are here just for the forums and then expect the "one" to send you a message, or even be on a "free" dating site. This type of bait can confuse the fish, and make it see the bait as less desirable and then go after another bait that is more yummy. Who goes fishing with fresh water bait while hoping to catch a salt water fish? Now I have seen bluefish take a bite out of just about anything.. but who wants to eat bluefish, but of course some are more hungry than others.

"..Wow, you need to check the calendar. That type of thinking is about 20 years out dated. What people have discovered since then is, long hair is a pain in the ass, Communism doesnt work well and computers are a great way of getting to meet people you never would have met otherwise."

Are these said people going to be met in person? or only on the internet? That way of thinking is not 20 years ago, it is realistic, I mean after all we all have a supermodel girlfriends that we met on the internet.. Good for you if you do, but for some of us that is not ever going to be a possibility, so why would someone so attractive, who can date whoever, whenever the want, feel the need to go on a dating site? I really don' t understand this, and also none of my posts were meant to be insulting. I just don't understand how someone can say one thing in their profile but expect something else. In other words I see mixed signals being given out.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 73
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 11:32:07 AM
Hmm no you are thinking way too hard about this, when it's quite simple. In my mind anyway. I am here for the forums, yes. Do I still respond when I receive an intriguing message? Indeed I do. Have I met someone who I thought was worth it off this site? Indeed I did.

I actually didn't have the whole 'I am here for the forums' bit up, until after I met Mr. Flip Flopper, and now I am taking a few steps back and not really looking to arrange a meet with anyone 'till I feel it's the right time. Hence my 'I am only for the forums' phrase, which eventually will be removed…eventually.

To wrap it up: I am not hardcore looking for anyone in specific, but if they come my way I won't push it away. Make sense?
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 74
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 11:40:39 AM
"To wrap it up: I am not hardcore looking for anyone in specific, but if they come my way I won't push it away. Make sense?"

Yes, of course it makes sense.. The grass in my neighbors yard is greener than mine, and their neighbor may have a better grill than theirs, so then after I hang out with them and have a few brews, I am going to move on to the neighbor with the bigger better grill, and you know what his neighbor has a bigger TV, so there. Alas, eventually I will come across a neighbor who has everything. I just hope I don't run out of bait(scotch) before I arrive there... anyways, what were we fishing for again? I have forgotten.
 cmd1957a
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 75
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 12:03:08 PM

Are these said people going to be met in person? or only on the internet? That way of thinking is not 20 years ago, it is realistic, I mean after all we all have a supermodel girlfriends that we met on the internet.. Good for you if you do, but for some of us that is not ever going to be a possibility, so why would someone so attractive, who can date whoever, whenever the want, feel the need to go on a dating site?


I don't know about you but my life entails doing relatively the same thing each day and going to the same places. Granted there are places I go that have an influx of new people..the gym, the grocery store, restaurants, but I am not going to these places with the thought of meeting someone. So the chances of meeting someone in real life is slim. Your comments suggest that only the unattractive and socially maladjusted come to online dating sites because they strike out in real life. That type of attitude may be the reason you are having a hard time finding someone.

Over the last few years I have met several women online, they were attractive, intelligent, working jobs and raising families. One I have continued to see for over a year. We will be in Hawaii over the holidays...I am not tooting my horn just trying to explain to you sometimes you get out of things exactly what you expect...no more no less.
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