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 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 70
So How Does Fishing Really Work?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

I seriously can not fathom or understand how someone as attractive, young and vibrant, as the OP is would even ever feel the need to join a dating site to find a date.


Well I am not here to find a date. I am now mostly here for the forums, which is stated on my profile. Getting dates is not a problem at all, but I seek something 'real' which I haven't been able to find out in the real world. I joined a dating site...for the forums, then I stayed and actually filled out my profile for a simple fact that I never know who might come my way. Being on this site is perhaps an opportunity to meet someone decent that’s on the same page as I am….so I choose to keep my profile up because I don’t want to miss out.

You basically are making it sound like young, vibrant people shouldn't be on a dating site because there are plenty of options in the everyday walks of life. Which may be true, but then again I look for quality not quantity. I'd rather not waste my time going on a million dates that lead to nothing and bore me to death.


You said you are drunk though, so I will give you the benefit of the doubt with that one.
 cmd1957a
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 71
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 11:08:48 AM
Is there anything wrong with asking that he actually reads your profile, sees things that he finds interesting, initiate contact in such a way that you may find him interesting and want to find out more about him? Asking a lot of somebody who you may be spending a significant amount of time with, arent you? Wouldn't you much rather get 1000 "Hey babe damn you're hot, lets hook up" emails and then try to guess which one comes closest to being human?

No OP, you are not asking too much. My guess is that only difference between you and most of the other females on this website is that you told them up front what you expect. I would guess most show them whats up by clicking delete and moving on.



I seriously can not fathom or understand how someone as attractive, young and vibrant, as the OP is would even ever feel the need to join a dating site to find a date
...Wow, you need to check the calendar. That type of thinking is about 20 years out dated. What people have discovered since then is, long hair is a pain in the ass, Communism doesnt work well and computers are a great way of getting to meet people you never would have met otherwise.
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 72
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 11:25:16 AM
"Well I am not here to find a date. I am now mostly here for the forums, which is stated on my profile. Getting dates is not a problem at all, but I seek something 'real' which I haven't been able to find out in the real world."


You are not here to find a date, but yet are here because you enjoy the forums, and while you are enjoying the forums, you are also hoping to find some one to date with substance and everything that you want in a partner... This may explain the response or responses or bites from all the bluefish. But how can you catch something real, when your bait is being used to" catch" forums, instead of fish. You can't say you are here just for the forums and then expect the "one" to send you a message, or even be on a "free" dating site. This type of bait can confuse the fish, and make it see the bait as less desirable and then go after another bait that is more yummy. Who goes fishing with fresh water bait while hoping to catch a salt water fish? Now I have seen bluefish take a bite out of just about anything.. but who wants to eat bluefish, but of course some are more hungry than others.

"..Wow, you need to check the calendar. That type of thinking is about 20 years out dated. What people have discovered since then is, long hair is a pain in the ass, Communism doesnt work well and computers are a great way of getting to meet people you never would have met otherwise."

Are these said people going to be met in person? or only on the internet? That way of thinking is not 20 years ago, it is realistic, I mean after all we all have a supermodel girlfriends that we met on the internet.. Good for you if you do, but for some of us that is not ever going to be a possibility, so why would someone so attractive, who can date whoever, whenever the want, feel the need to go on a dating site? I really don' t understand this, and also none of my posts were meant to be insulting. I just don't understand how someone can say one thing in their profile but expect something else. In other words I see mixed signals being given out.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 73
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 11:32:07 AM
Hmm no you are thinking way too hard about this, when it's quite simple. In my mind anyway. I am here for the forums, yes. Do I still respond when I receive an intriguing message? Indeed I do. Have I met someone who I thought was worth it off this site? Indeed I did.

I actually didn't have the whole 'I am here for the forums' bit up, until after I met Mr. Flip Flopper, and now I am taking a few steps back and not really looking to arrange a meet with anyone 'till I feel it's the right time. Hence my 'I am only for the forums' phrase, which eventually will be removed…eventually.

To wrap it up: I am not hardcore looking for anyone in specific, but if they come my way I won't push it away. Make sense?
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 74
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 11:40:39 AM
"To wrap it up: I am not hardcore looking for anyone in specific, but if they come my way I won't push it away. Make sense?"

Yes, of course it makes sense.. The grass in my neighbors yard is greener than mine, and their neighbor may have a better grill than theirs, so then after I hang out with them and have a few brews, I am going to move on to the neighbor with the bigger better grill, and you know what his neighbor has a bigger TV, so there. Alas, eventually I will come across a neighbor who has everything. I just hope I don't run out of bait(scotch) before I arrive there... anyways, what were we fishing for again? I have forgotten.
 cmd1957a
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 75
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 12:03:08 PM

Are these said people going to be met in person? or only on the internet? That way of thinking is not 20 years ago, it is realistic, I mean after all we all have a supermodel girlfriends that we met on the internet.. Good for you if you do, but for some of us that is not ever going to be a possibility, so why would someone so attractive, who can date whoever, whenever the want, feel the need to go on a dating site?


I don't know about you but my life entails doing relatively the same thing each day and going to the same places. Granted there are places I go that have an influx of new people..the gym, the grocery store, restaurants, but I am not going to these places with the thought of meeting someone. So the chances of meeting someone in real life is slim. Your comments suggest that only the unattractive and socially maladjusted come to online dating sites because they strike out in real life. That type of attitude may be the reason you are having a hard time finding someone.

Over the last few years I have met several women online, they were attractive, intelligent, working jobs and raising families. One I have continued to see for over a year. We will be in Hawaii over the holidays...I am not tooting my horn just trying to explain to you sometimes you get out of things exactly what you expect...no more no less.
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 76
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 12:30:43 PM
"Over the last few years I have met several women online, they were attractive, intelligent, working jobs and raising families. One I have continued to see for over a year. We will be in Hawaii over the holidays...I am not tooting my horn just trying to explain to you sometimes you get out of things exactly what you expect...no more no less."

That is excellent, and I hats off to all the success.. But not all fisher persons, get that lucky or have that much success. Anyways, it appears that the op has plenty of bait, so depending on what she wants to catch, maybe she should run a few rpms faster, or slow down some, or better yet, drive her boat further out. Anyways, I love going deep sea fishing, but maybe my problem is, that I try to catch anything, versus what tastes the best..
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 77
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/23/2010 3:01:00 PM
^ Hence my phrase in an earlier post


"To wrap it up: I am not hardcore looking for anyone in specific, but if they come my way I won't push it away."


and to clarify, I don't want to get "picked up". If I get a feel someone is trying to "pick me up" I hit the little pretty delete button. I am not a horse parading around waiting to get chosen. I don't consider a picture of me on vacation in a pool as "loud". If someone gets the wrong idea because I am wearing a bikini in a pool, it's their problem not mine. People with flawed way of thinking do exist you know.
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 78
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/27/2010 8:00:46 AM
"and to clarify, I don't want to get "picked up". If I get a feel someone is trying to "pick me up" I hit the little pretty delete button. I am not a horse parading around waiting to get chosen. I don't consider a picture of me on vacation in a pool as "loud". If someone gets the wrong idea because I am wearing a bikini in a pool, it's their problem not mine. People with flawed way of thinking do exist you know."

Sometimes folks get confused especially when a person says one thing but does another thing, or says I am this way, but dress another way or act another way, but wish to be viewed a certain way, that differs from how the present themselves. I don't necessary think it is flawed thinking, I think it comes down to mixed signals, at the same time one should not really have to explain themselves unless they want to. And then there is this whole deal of, well actually I am dating someone or I have no problem getting dates at all in the real world, but yet I want to open a profile just in case...Which actually, as long as one is communicating well with their dates/matches is okay. It is good to be sure everyone is on the same page, so there will be no hurt feelings. Anyways, as far as fishing goes, eventually one will catch exactly what they are fishing for, IF they keep at it long enough. Cheers.
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 79
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/27/2010 8:30:50 AM
After reading the last couple of posts, I have to ask something.

You do know that you cannot control how someone else thinks, or views something?

The woman could appear fully dressed, have a bland profile and STILL, some guys will think "she wants me", or worse "she wants it". I'm afraid that's on them, not her. In my own weird wonderful world, I've gotten at least one email a month, sometimes 2 from women asking the same thing. "So how evil are you?" then go onto to explain in detail what they want me to do.

My original profile, made no references to sex, maybe what I thought was a sexy woman, but not sex.

Again, you can't help what one reads one way, when you wrote something totally innocent and meaning another. Because a woman says she enjoys passionate kisses, doesn't mean she will immediately go to bed with you. It may, but much more likely she is expressing she has a passionate side, no probem there.

Think about it.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 80
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/27/2010 9:47:31 AM
again I say we guys are at a disadvantage in the dating /fishing arena ..Its really hard to be clever and original when you know very little about the woman ..so I suggest a moratorium on making first contact ... when these chicks inbox's are empty day after day the worm will turn ..they will realize just how hard it is to be poetic original and clever knowing that nine times out of ten you are going to be deleted without being read anyway ..then we can start threads about the short messages we get ... now everyone has got to stick together if we want this to work ..might as well what we are doing is not working anyway ..like I said before every date from POF that I ever had was when the woman made first contact ..and every time their first message was just like the women here say ours are ..short and unoriginal ..but hey they are women its to be expected ..I let them get away with it
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 81
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/27/2010 9:56:19 AM
Agree with msg 86.

LOL! Yep every date I have been on from this site was from a woman who contacted me first, with a generic short message. Pretty much how it is and as far as fishing goes, one has to be fishing for you before you can be their catch.
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 82
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/27/2010 10:13:34 AM
Ahhh deerdog, while I don't disagree with your thought, alas since only approximately 5% of POF users read the forums, your message is lost on 19 of 20 men, as they never will hear or see it.

Further unfortunately, in todays me me me society, I doubt you would have any more success with the brotherhood not messaging, than the women do with encouraging women to hold out on early sex. Everyone will do what they think best for themselves.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 83
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/27/2010 11:30:28 AM

Ahhh deerdog, while I don't disagree with your thought, alas since only approximately 5% of POF users read the forums, your message is lost on 19 of 20 men, as they never will hear or see it.

Further unfortunately, in todays me me me society, I doubt you would have any more success with the brotherhood not messaging, than the women do with encouraging women to hold out on early sex. Everyone will do what they think best for themselves.



yea I know it aint going to happen ..but its a thought and a tongue in cheek response to the people on here who don't realize that just saying hi is a prelude to a conversation ..its only a email don't have to put a stamp on it and take it to the post office ..you didn't have to go to the mail box and get it ..you didn't have to open it with a letter opener ...email is still free on both sides and takes very little effort to open and read ...yes if i get a email hat just says hi i noticed you .. I am going to answer it .. some of my best friendships came from just saying HI ....besides I can shoot the bull with strangers .. I can gab with people I have no interest in till the cows come home ..if I'm just pulling your chain I can be charming and witty ..but if I an really interested it becomes a bit more challenging
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 84
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/27/2010 12:15:27 PM

and every time their first message was just like the women here say ours are ..short and unoriginal


Whoever said they weren't? No doubt men get those same generic emails.

I personally prefer the bold one's that asks me right off the bat, if I would like to fvvk. Now, those are emails worth responding to.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 85
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 9/27/2010 12:41:29 PM
It sounds as if you're looking for a deep gutteral response when you don't even know the person, or the intent of their message, which, to me, infers a defensive posture, just as I feel you are taking on a lot of the posts you are getting on this thread. JMO.
I think it would be interesting if you engaged in talk or chat with this guy without taking a defensive or banal posture, or taking one of interest as it relates to dating. Smiply chat. It's fine to disagree with others- we all have our opinions. Do you eliminate men from the interest pool simply because they don't share the same viewpoint(s)? IMO, you'll be fishing in a very shallow pond, which is fine if they are truly who you believe you are seeking. You may find out that the ones who fit very tight standards may not be a good fit in the long run. It doesn't hurt to engage in chat with people who present a different viewpoint. At least he has one, unlike the 90% that is being mentioned here. js
 lostintheshufle
Joined: 11/8/2010
Msg: 86
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 11/21/2010 8:19:11 PM
My experience with this site is half the people are really crazy in their own special way and the other half are normal, bland people that make great friends :-)
 Pilose_Wink
Joined: 11/2/2010
Msg: 87
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 11/22/2010 5:27:39 AM

It sounds as if you're looking for a deep gutteral response when you don't even know the person, or the intent of their message, which, to me, infers a defensive posture, just as I feel you are taking on a lot of the posts you are getting on this thread. JMO.


Ah, but some of us are looking for that spark of intrigue, that special trigger trip, so why bother getting to know, or wasting time continually filtering a lame contact when that initial reaction has already failed? You only have one chance for a first impression on line as in real life, but if you have a particular look, you might get a stumbling re-do here and there.

The one in the drivers seat has all the right to be in defense mode, the key is to know who really is in the drivers seat. Sometimes the one who places a well timed detour sign, or tack strip on the road is. Crash into me, I’m a waiting!

Original is well, original, and if that’s what you want along with an imagination, why settle for pre-packaged and processed? Then again, if one is just boring and hoping someone else will light their boredom, that’s another matter all together.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 88
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 11/22/2010 6:27:37 PM
SilentInk,
I've followed this thread on and off when bored.

Being in POF for the forums while hoping to bump into a decent guy seems abit of a dodge.

not teasing you.
Just if you want to only surf the forums you can block ANYONE from emailing you.
But if you want to surf the forums while waiting for a perfect guy to email you,
your princess profile may drive him off.

I agree that stupid "wassup" emails from young boys can be annoying.
All the ladies in here laugh and joke about em.

but your profile is all about them silly boys trying fruitlessly to contact you...
how silly they are....and how someone has got to be brilliantly wordy to even hope to have a chance with you.

In short...a princess profile.
All about you.
Not anything about who you may want to meet.
what he may be like.
Or what you may offer such a guy.
Just how he better measure up to your perfection.

Now from your posts here and other threads I know you are really not that way.
just seem so in your profile.
The diferrence between your forum posts and your profile are striking.
So I figure I'd mention it.
again.

Cus perfect guys....with intelligence and all that...
can always look elsewhere.
They got options.
what do you offer such a guy in you profile?
why should he email you?

If you are left to only to carp about silly emails recieved,
could be cus the good ones.... by guys you may like.... are never written.


 Billy_Famine
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 89
So How Does Fishing Really Work?
Posted: 11/22/2010 6:40:59 PM

So it got me thinking. On my profile I clearly do state that I expect original messages or I will not respond. I guess it all goes back to being tired of reading the same exact message from the same person four times throughout the month. Pretty much I will receive a message, read it, figure the guy isn't a match for me and not respond. Then a week later I will receive the same exact message with the SAME exact spelling errors, and that forces me to respond and tell this individual how ridiculous I think his 'copy n paste' game is and how he should at least keep a little note pad writing down the screen names of the people he already sent that message to as to not get caught up like this again.

Anyway the young man who wrote me the message about me not knowing how fishing works, did state some good (but obvious) points, yet I choose to agree to completely disagree with him. I don't want a written novel, but I want something original. Hell read my likes and start from there.

Am I really in the dark on this? Am I really ignorant towards this 'fishing' business? Do I really need to 'wise up' and just suck it up when I get the same message that every girl in my area had the pleasure of reading?

What are your views on this young man's e-mail vs. your own point of view?


Well, think of it this way. When I see you out in the street, do I get this written message stapled on your forehead of dislikes or likes?

I don't read girls profiles, I go off my natural intuition which has already worked well OFF the site.

Besides, save this material for when we meet you.
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