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Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 42
Women and eye contactPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
"I don't have enough time or energy to strike up a friendship, or even an acquaintanceship with 100% of the people I encounter in life."
Exactly. Too many women, too little time. Gotta go...
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 43
Women and eye contact
Posted: 9/23/2010 4:17:12 PM

What I think happens sometimes is that women will wrap themselves up in a kind of scorn, projecting an attitude of indifference or hostility, because they are either tired of being approached or dislike it,

If a straight person considers that roughly 10% of the opposite sex strangers simply don't swing his/her way, and that some percentage (I think it's well over half) of the opposite sex strangers are already in monogamous relationships, it paints a slightly different picture.
One that can let us off the hook of "wow, I'm undesirable to over half of the opposite sex."
One that reasonable people can use to surmise that the world is, indeed, full of decent people who wander about doing the right thing by their partners.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 44
Women and eye contact
Posted: 9/23/2010 6:29:28 PM

Sorry WIP, but I don't have enough time or energy to strike up a friendship, or even an acquaintanceship with 100% of the people I encounter in life. For most encounters simple civility is sufficient.

On one hand you should strike up conversations with people you find interesting. Obviously if we stopped and talked to everyone we saw in the course of a day, we'd do nothing else - it'd be too time consuming. On the other hand we're talking in the dating sense here.

I don't claim that any "signs" are foolproof, or even accurate part of the time, like old-time weather signs. But I can get a good sense that it might rain from the general look of the sky.
Similarly, I would probably not bother to approach a woman at a social function who pointedly avoided eye contact.

Ok, that works for you. And as long as you don't care that this narrows down your dating pool that's fine. It certainly won't break any of their hearts.

If I have to "approach" ten women before I encounter one who is interested in me, why should I bother interacting with an additional 10 whose behavior positively suggests that they don't particularly want to interact with me? Is my time well spent by imposing myself upon folks who show definite signs of not wanting to interact with me?

Maybe having the vibe of an agenda when you approach is what causes that reaction. I'll talk to a guy anytime that's not trying to talk to me for a specific reason. When I sense they are trying to steer the conversation to a phone number, a date, or whatever - it gets awkward, and my walls go up. Sometimes I just like conversation...without a goal attached.

I'd be willing to bet that even you encounter people in whom you are not interested, or who appear to not be interested in you, and that you can obviously tell that by various "signs". Do you "take a risk" on all of them?

It's not a risk to me. I talk to guys I'm interested in, I expect that some won't be interested back, but I don't corner them. It goes where it goes. There can only be a risk when there's an expectation on my part. There isn't. As I stated before, I don't approach men specifically unless I'm interested in them in some way.

Looking for "signs" is just another way of "weeding out", or "filtering".

I guess I can't identify with any of that as I don't search. If I see someone I like I talk to them. Where it goes, it goes. *shrug*

There is a difference between expending one's time and energy efficiently, and wasting them.

I guess when you're throwing tranquilizer darts out and trying to bag someone, a strategic approach is useful if you want to do anything else in your schedule.

Yes, everyone looks for slightly different signs, according to our various different experiences.

I'd be willing to bet that you've encountered men who may have piqued your interest, but whom you did not approach because they gave off a "vibe", a "sign" of not wanting to be bothered. Or do you just approach all interesting men regardless?

If I'm in the mood, and I have time, lol - then yes. I find most guys only have a wall up to prevent women from taking them the wrong way. I've rarely approached a guy that flat out didn't want to talk to me, or whatever. But so what if I did? That's a possible outcome. Shit happens. I'd move on...the only time I don't approach a guy is if I'm not sure I'm that interested, or I have too much going on to stop.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 45
Women and eye contact
Posted: 1/4/2011 3:25:48 PM
^^^If you are just asking directions or looking for something and a woman doesn't want to talk to you, why would you care? Some people are just rude...why let that get in your way in life? Just ask the next person. I don't agree that if you're friendly, without agenda and just making conversation that most women you talk to are going to be rude about it.

If you are attempting to chat with a woman for a specific reason and she shuts you down, it's likely she sensed that's why you approached her.
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 46
Women and eye contact
Posted: 1/4/2011 3:54:10 PM
I hate this question but I'll answer it anyway.When you look at her the eyes connect first then she smiles, then you have to approach her to see if she freezes up. I don't stare at any of them because I have missing teeth and I can't smile back but good luck to you.
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 47
Women and eye contact
Posted: 1/4/2011 10:12:59 PM
Cenomeno said : Quick glances and once get caught she looks down, plays with her hair, acts like her friend said something funny, laughs nervously .... Smiles with a blush.... That means she's interested.

You got it, this is exactly what women do.
Unless they are big cats and then they can be a lot more bold, but you will not have to wonder about that you will know.
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 48
Women and eye contact
Posted: 1/4/2011 10:52:45 PM
Could be, but don't count on it. it also be a thousand other things as well.
Joined: 12/5/2010
Msg: 49
Women and eye contact
Posted: 1/5/2011 5:26:19 AM
Not necessarily. LOL I look at people all the time and I always use eye contact. If I want to talk to someone I will go talk to them. A lot of the time I am looking at people wondering what they are doing wearing an outfit that they should not be in or watching people just to watch. There is nothing to look out for. LOL Just your own back.
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 50
Women and eye contact
Posted: 1/5/2011 6:34:12 AM

Is eye contact the key to whether a woman is interested?

Yes, but only if they linger. Quick eye contact is not an indicator.

Other things:

Viewing a woman across the dance floor and, later noticing they are next to you.

A woman who touches you when she talks to you.

A woman who sticks up for you when you are in an argument with someone else and does not even know you.

A woman who kisses you. (you really need help if you don't get this one)
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