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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?      Home login  
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 hellokitty1025
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 26
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I do appreciate all the serious replies. Actually I appreciate all responses. The point of my post was not to find out how to be "successful" at stealing another man, it was to hopefully warn someone who was considering doing this too that its not worth it. I have to live with this every day and thats punishment enough for me. All I know is Im being honest with myself when I say I deserve way better than that.
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 27
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 8:00:50 AM
I have to go with the karma answer - I know a woman whose husband left his first wife for her. . . He's never cheated on her (as far as she knows) and they are still together 24 years later, but they haven't had sex in 8 years. She's constantly complaining about it. . . I figure she got (or didn't get) what was coming to her.
 Chill Pill
Joined: 6/5/2010
Msg: 28
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 8:27:26 AM
", it was to hopefully warn someone who was considering doing this too that its not worth it"

I don't think you can do that. I hear your sincerity, but I think it's an excercize in futility.
I know a woman that only involves herself with marrieds. I thought it was an issue of self esteem until one night at a social gathering she unfolded her truth about it.

She told us she prefers the marrieds as they have no expectations on her. They can not ask her for commitment. She doesn't have to cook, clean, shop, or even listen to them complain about their jobs. She doesn't have to care for them when they are sick. She doesn't have to do anything for them.
She further bragged that they can't ask for exclusivity, they can't expect her to be faithful to them. They can't "own " her.
She then began to show off her jewelry, talk about rendevous, money and luxury trips she takes with them when they are away on "business".

It was all quite pathetic in my mind. I felt sorry for her and I can only imagine what she may feel when it catches up to her. I believe it will. She will feel some kind of emptiness, when these marrieds stop filling an obvious void in her life. Perhaps when her beauty wanes and she is old and alone. Who knows? For some, they never feel guilt as Outmind so aptly points out. Most justify it.

The truth is you can not warn others that are perfectly happy letting themselves get invloved with married men/woman. Do they "cheat" on her, I imagine so. She "cheats" on them and with other marrieds. It's a lifestyle that some woman/men prefer as sick as it may seem to some of us that want devotion, real love, intimacy and a monogomous relationship.

What shocked me the most about her braggart statements was that she felt no guilt what so ever, because she was single. That was the icing on the cake for me.

She was boasting amongst a group of married woman too.... it was quite a scenario...
and I was thinking at one point I wished I had a video camera to capture the looks on the faces of the other woman in the room as she was speaking..... it was almost bordering on comical if it wasn't so pathetic.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 29
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 9:34:45 AM
I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater because I am a huge advocate of change. With that said of course it also depends on the circumstances. If a wo/man has proven him/herself to having commitment issues and a fling outside their marriage is what they are constantly looking for, I don't think there is much hope for that person unless they realize their problem and go through extensive therapy.

Most people whom I have met that cheated felt lower than dirt afterwards, and that's the correct emotion. I think the problem becomes serious when you no longer can judge yourself by your actions, and become numb to the wrong that you are doing.
 Purr Heart
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 30
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 9:38:44 AM

Most people whom I have met that cheated felt lower than dirt afterwards, and that's the correct emotion. I think the problem becomes serious when you no longer can judge yourself by your actions, and become numb to the wrong that you are doing.


Ya know...for someone barely out of diapers, you sure come up with some wise ass shite sometimes !
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 31
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 10:02:42 AM
Lmao, gee thanks, for someone old as dirt you sure make my heart skip a beat when I see that gorgeous face in the forums.
 TheToefactor
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 32
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 12:26:33 PM

Lmao, gee thanks, for someone old as dirt you sure make my heart skip a beat when I see that gorgeous face in the forums.


*for pete's sake he's old enough to be your father*



s it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?


a leopard never changes it's spots.

if they do ? by then it's on to the next person they will cheat on too .
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 33
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 12:46:46 PM
My goodness what a grim thread.. Who knows, maybe they are meant for each other? I never understood the point of cheating to begin with, but anyways, if it ever happens to me, I will know that she just simply is not the "one."
 Miniadventure
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 34
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 12:55:56 PM
I tend to think yes on this (from past experience) in that if someone is cheating in being with you, it does give an insight into their mindset on how they think when they have already mentally moved on from a current relationship.

If your current relationship is over end it properly dont leave one person hanging while you move on behind their back..
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 35
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is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 1:09:44 PM
Obviously, this is a subject fraught with high emotional content.
In general, I have found that the words "always" and "never" rarely apply accurately to ANYTHING, especially when it comes to human behavior and development.
As for whether SOME cheaters reform, I'd have to say that I HAVE seen SOME people who were labeled as cheaters, who did NOT cheat on the person they went to after. It depends more on other factors, especially how they went about EXCUSING their duplicity. I would suggest that anyone who generalizes that cheating is justified under ANY specific circumstances, is very likely to cheat again and again. People who began a new relationship before officially ending the previous one (due to being unable to step up and formally break things off with their spouse), and were therefore labeled as cheaters, are the ones LESS likely to do so again. They are NOT the majority.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 36
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 1:46:02 PM

for pete's sake he's old enough to be your father.


Point? Ever heard of the term 'cougar'. An older woman dating a younger man. Ok...well why can't a younger woman find an older man attractive. I don't see your logic. I told him he is handsome, not to travel to the states and take me. Sheesh. Talk about being close minded.
 Purr Heart
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 37
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 2:04:53 PM

*for pete's sake he's old enough to be your father*


Thanks Toefactor, I know you meant well...


I told him he is handsome, not to travel to the states and take me. Sheesh. Talk about being close minded.


Not yet anyway...not ... YET ....

And btw Silentink the word you used was " GORGEOUS " .




 MJ Preston
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 38
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is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 2:11:32 PM

What a b*stard! How dare he cheat on... Wait a minute, who did he cheat on? The irony is that you probably feel just as miserable as his wife, but at least SHE gets half. Don't you feel cheated?


at least she gets half. priceless.
 hellokitty1025
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 39
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 2:34:23 PM
i wish he would have had more for her to take but he didnt have much LOL she already got over $300 a month in child support from him. aside from that all he really had was his truck (that she bought but it was in his name) and thats about it. i havent spoken to him in two months now but i heard from the girls ex bf (the girl he left me for not his wife) that he had already knocked her up. well thats 3 kids that he will have to pay support for now!
 FavouriteDreamsOfYou
Joined: 5/14/2010
Msg: 40
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is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 2:37:55 PM
She told us she prefers the marrieds as they have no expectations on her. They can not ask her for commitment. She doesn't have to cook, clean, shop, or even listen to them complain about their jobs. She doesn't have to care for them when they are sick. She doesn't have to do anything for them. She further bragged that they can't ask for exclusivity, they can't expect her to be faithful to them. They can't "own " her.


I've known a woman much like that. Also, the person I knew said it made her feel special when a guy had a wife but "he couldn't wait to get away from the boring old b*tch to be with me."

I didn't stay friends with her for long. She was self-centred and kind of childish.

Edited to say: That wasn't a comment on you, OP. We're all human and anyone can make a mistake.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 41
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 2:40:52 PM

heard from the girls ex bf (the girl he left me for not his wife) that he had already knocked her up. well thats 3 kids that he will have to pay support for now!


Shame. Don't gloat at other people's misfortunes. It's not amusing in the least.
 TheToefactor
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 42
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 6:01:27 PM

Point? Ever heard of the term 'cougar'. An older woman dating a younger man. Ok...well why can't a younger woman find an older man attractive. I don't see your logic. I told him heve daddy issues. is handsome, not to travel to the states and take me. Sheesh. Talk about being close minded.


we all know that a younger women that like to date older men have daddy issues

so?? who is the close minded one here.
 pandusvenator
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 43
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 7:24:00 PM

*for pete's sake he's old enough to be your father*


And your point is? Hey 20 somethings flirt with me all the time. I think of them as women and not anything else. Besides...I'm not anything like thier fathers I assure you.
 pandusvenator
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 44
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 7:26:43 PM
we all know that a younger women that like to date older men have daddy issues

so?? who is the close minded one here.


That's inappropriate. Stow the goofy psychobabble, self righteous, "not quite bright" useless garbage.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 45
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 7:45:55 PM

we all know that a younger women that like to date older men have daddy issues

so?? who is the close minded one here.


Lol, I didn't know telling someone they are good looking OVER THE INTERNET qualifies as "dating".

Get out of here with that.

And I don't need a therapy session, thanks though.

.



And your point is? Hey 20 somethings flirt with me all the time. I think of them as women and not anything else. Besides...I'm not anything like thier fathers I assure you.


My point exactly. Some close minded folk put too much emphasis on age.

23 is a grown person ,Toefactor whether you choose to acknowledge that or not. I don't play with barbies, I support myself, and the last time I checked I am not in diapers. Therefore I can tell a man of any age if I find them attractive. Me thinks you are just upset because I didn't tell you that I find you irresistible. I kid on the last part.
=]
 TheToefactor
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 46
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 7:48:35 PM

And your point is? Hey 20 somethings flirt with me all the time. I think of them as women and not anything else. Besides...I'm not anything like thier fathers I assure you.


Lord have mercy.....20 somthings??? I'll think of you in church this sunday.

the creep out factor just hit 11 on the dial.
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 47
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is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 8:28:06 PM
well actually, I do know one cheater who did leave his wife and marry the mistress.

Karma did rule big time.....the mistress got her man and her man lost his business and then slipped into a deep depression and she had to support him while he drank his life away.

The wife who was cheated on, handled herself with dignity and grace and ended up getting remarried to the love of her life who happened to be filthy rich.

I've made the mistake of falling for separated men that I believed would get divorced but as for actual married men who are living with their wives, thats just way too much heartbreak to bring upon oneself.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 48
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 8:59:32 PM

I've made the mistake of falling for seperated that I believe would get divorced


I think many people online has made that mistake. That's why you can't really blame those that take the get back to me after the divorce is final approach to online dating.
 Chill Pill
Joined: 6/5/2010
Msg: 49
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/24/2010 5:37:38 AM
""I've made the mistake of falling for seperated that I believe would get divorced""

Yeah.... Most men online that tell you they are seperated from their wives mean ...

Seperated since breakfast!
 MisterDynomite
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 50
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is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/24/2010 6:32:44 AM

is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?


I don't know if it's always true ...but that experience was my first impression on relationships a loooong time ago when I found myself in a scenario like that. My first lesson on relationships was : "if it started with overlapping.. it will end with overlapping"


It may not happen all the time... but first impressions stay with you a very very loooong time. When I see someone thats "taken" ...I don't even consider them.

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