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Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 20
How to live after you lose someone special?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I personally am dead inside.She and I shared three years of my life and I fell in love with her the second I saw her in the lobby.I WORSHIPPED her....her body...her mind....her children.....I took care of everything as best I could and then one day she calls me and tells me "I don't love you anymore".
How the does one get over that.I found her on facebook and found out she was cheating.I am devastated beyond beluief.
I cannot see what I am typing bcuz there is something messed up with my pc but I hope you get the jist of this.
I am ruined.Destroyed by this girl.This woman I saved money to buy her and her kids a home and wanted to marry her.Then I find out on the social network that she is already screwing someone elsee.
I am not the same man anymore.
Damned pity.
I was a very nice man b4 I met her.
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 22
How to live after you lose someone special?
Posted: 10/18/2010 2:20:46 PM
The only way I know how to put it is that initially you get through it one awful day at a time, placing one foot in front of the other and going through the necessary things in life. You also take it off of being about you ( I mean this in the best way possible) and turn your thoughts to them and to others- what you enjoyed and truly appreciated about them. Is there someone close to you who you can share these things with- in the sense of instilling your friends and father's values that they shared--enjoyable things you did together--wonderful pieces of wisdom to impart and to share with others? Celebrate what you had with them and try to find something to enjoy about each day. I would say that the grieving process can last up to 6 months as far as feeling depressed and horrible, etc., and up to a year and a half to have moved forward in all facets of life. This is just a rough amount of time. It takes some people years but I would say that after 6 months if there is no change that one should talk to a counselor. It should help to take part in a support group with people who have lost loved ones, and to allow yourself to simply feel what you feel and to allow yourself to work through it all The human body is amazing and has the capacity to heal itself if we allow it to and by allowing our hearts to grow with each experience.
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 23
How to live after you lose someone special?
Posted: 10/18/2010 5:14:41 PM
I'm sorry and I feel for you.

But I can can tell you something which I hope you may be able to consider.

We always, cherish and miss that which is gone or unavailable to us. And often, that is not the reality of the situation. Our notions and ideas are clouded and tainted by emotion. I've been there, and I know! I'm not sure this advice can help, as I am not sure I would have accepted it either, but in retrospect (as others have said) time may tell.

In cases like this where our emotions take CONTROL, always try and be objective. How many people have bee absolutely certain, they would never love again, and then did?

Aside from that, please realise, despite your pain, that death IS as natural as life on this planet.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 24
How to live after you lose someone special?
Posted: 10/20/2010 1:19:41 PM
Is that what I should put in my profile? That I am going through hell.
I will tell the person is due time. I don't want that to be the center of my profile.

No OP, that is not what should be in your profile. It amazes me when people get all up in arms because we don't tell our life stories in an online profile, but it seems to be a theme for some. What should be in your profile is what you are comfortable putting in your profile and I seriously doubt you, me or most people would be comfortable putting our tragic losses out there for complete strangers to read at will. (If forums weren't so dead and dying, I likely wouldn't even post in here about my son, but because forums are hard to find and aren't paid attention to like they once were, I do vent in here sometimes.)

It's really all up to you how you wish to proceed. Only you know what you feel from moment to moment. My only suggestion is that you don't get caught up in false intimacy situations. Over the past year, I have indeed done that and it really can make a mess out of things. (Not all people have the best intent when they "support" our situation.) Good luck to you.
Joined: 10/27/2010
Msg: 25
How to live after you lose someone special?
Posted: 11/1/2010 6:50:03 PM
I lost my mother back in March 2010. My condolences on your loss and I can only offer some form of compassion.

As time ticks by, the pain of the loss becomes more bearable. What I did to cope was remind myself of what my mother loved. One of the things she loved was cooking. It made her so happy to cook and see how it made us feel. I loved the smell of her kitchen and just seeing how happy it made her. These moments are the ones you want to cherish. The moments that made them happy and it will "ease" the pain. At least it did for me.

Again, I am sorry for your loss and live day by day. My sympathies and compassion.
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 26
How to live after you lose someone special?
Posted: 11/3/2010 10:13:29 PM
Sleepless in Seattle, watch it;

"What are you going to do?

Get out of bed every morning
and breathe in and out all day.

And after a while I won't have to
remind myself to do it.

And then after a while I won't
remember how perfect things were."
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 27
How to live after you lose someone special?
Posted: 11/4/2010 11:04:29 AM
Hey I'm a smartass and skeptic myself, but sometimes it's best to say nothing and just move on if you don't believe.
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 28
How to live after you lose someone special?
Posted: 11/4/2010 10:00:09 PM
I lost a husband at age 27.
To be brutally honest, it was hell. Pure freaking hell. I got through it by just "keeping on", but i was an emotional train wreck and very angry hurt and bitter that i had lost him. Even when i hit a patch of time where i thought i was getting better, i would randomly just turn into a puddle of angry sobbing miserable mush thinking about him. Dont be hard on youself, it isnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows when you lose a loved one. But it does get better. You will start to smile at memories instead of crying your eyes out. And realize that life is for the living, and you must go on. It is very hard to accept that someone you thought you would be with for life, isnt going to be there for all your life. Try not to sleep too much or drink too much, i did both in the first year and it prolonged the healing process. I used to drop the kids at school, go back home down a bottle of something and sob myself to bed, and do it again at night when the kids went to bed. it numbd the pain temporarily but took up valuable time i should have used for counseling and doing outdoors activities and spending with family and friends.
Stay close with her family, they are greiving the same person you are and you can be both supportive of each others greif, and try to find a happier place, together,.
Get into a greif counseling group.
Its not an easy road but there is light at the end of the tunnel, she is in a better place and you must go on to live your life to the fullest.
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