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 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 20
Never ApproachedPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Sorry OP, can't find my crystal ball! Hahaha!

Look your cute, but frankly we don't know what you do, how you act, what you wear or what your interested in. Any body giving you an opinion, is doing just that, based on their exprience, NOT YOURS! As far as "in my life" goes, damn girl, your 19, you haven't had much of that yet.

"Advice?"

Yeah take it easy on yourself, there's no shelf life in dating. People are doing it here till their 70. Change some things up, if you only wear jeans, try skirts. Devlop some new interests. Just try and be aware that you should be open to new experiences and people.

Only you know you. BUT you must have some friends, ask them, in a casual manner. As you get older guys, become more aware of your good points, and not as focused on only the hotties in life.

Just some thoughts.

PS yes by all means, Hawaii is the most spectacular place on the planet. It does change you, if only the mood you hold, the people you interact with and the attitude on life they have.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 21
Never Approached
Posted: 9/27/2010 10:47:05 AM

I have a great personality; I am very nice, have a good sense of humor and am smart.


these qualities have nothing to do with approachability...because they are difficult to see from afar.

thing to make yourself more approachable:

1- smile.
2- dress nice, cute, classy or sexy
3- smile.
4- make eye contact
5- smile
6- look ur best...if you gotta lose weight...do so.
 BLUEMISS
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Never Approached
Posted: 9/27/2010 1:55:58 PM
boondocksaint73........
I just had to comment on your post because as soon as I read it I'm sure my blood pressure went up!
What kind of a comment was ...look ur best...if you gotta lose weight...do so?
Men approach me and I am overweight, and despite the fact, a person can still look their best!
Weight is not an issue to some men ...FYI.
I agree with the posters that say she should approach.Don't be shy,smile!
Ever heard the saying...I can loose weight but you will still be [insert here].
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 23
Never Approached
Posted: 9/27/2010 2:30:43 PM
bluemiss...the OP is 19 you are 54....

far more men at 54 will approach a woman who is overweight, since most are.

most 19 year olds (although this younger generation is a lot heavier than my generation was and older generations were at 19) are NOT overweight.

that being said, yes there are plenty of guys that like girls that are a little heavier...I have no idea whether the OP is or not.

all I am saying is "look your best" and usually you will attract more people.

if you are someone that does not care about your looks or "looking your best" then likely you will not get approached by as many men as you would if you "looked your best"

ever hear of the saying that I'd screw a butter face, but never a fat chick?
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 24
Never Approached
Posted: 9/27/2010 3:23:20 PM

Men feel intimidated by beautiful women[


From my perspective and remembering back to when I was the OP's age I was intimidated not by beautiful women but by women who behaved like they thought they were beautiful. Outgoing and friendly is rarely intimidating in my books. It was the good looking ones who were reserved and kept to themselves that were difficult to get a read on. The simple solution to avoid any confusion is for the OP to ask him out.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 25
Never Approached
Posted: 9/27/2010 3:26:03 PM

I was intimidated not by beautiful women but by women who behaved like they thought they were beautiful.


winner winner...

chicken dinner.

a woman who behaves as though she is beautiful and that the world outta lay the red carpet out is not an appealing trait at all for most men...

mainly because we do not have the resources to lay the red carpet out for them...
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 26
Never Approached
Posted: 9/27/2010 7:10:34 PM
"Never Approached" needs to be defined, because I find it very hard to believe.

What I believe is OP has been approach a number of times and either:
- Did not recognize a flirt or a come-on
- Knew a guy might try to flirt, and turned away to discourage him, and it worked
- Has always traveled with the pack and never looked away from them, i.e. full-protection mode. No guy is gonna wade into that.
- Created an excuse to leave every time a guy caught her alone, thus never giving them a chance to ask for her number or ask her out.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 27
Never Approached
Posted: 9/27/2010 7:20:03 PM
If by approached you mean getting whistled at while you pass by a construction site, you aren't missing much.

On the other hand looking at your pictures I don't believe you have never been approached before just like NewDeal stated. If we base this purely on the physical I know girls who are not even half as good looking as you and they still get approached.

I am assuming though it's not your looks and maybe just your attitude. If you have an expression on your face that comes across like you will scratch a man's eyes out if he even attempts to look your way...that can certainly scare any man off and it is then very understandable why you don't get approached. Number one thing to me that makes a person approachable is eye contact and a smile.
 arose1225
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 28
Never Approached
Posted: 9/27/2010 7:29:47 PM
Sorry my description is vague, but honestly when I read your comment it made me realize that you are dead on. I've always had this "fear" of guys, maybe fear that they are going to hurt me or something. When I was younger, yeah I know I'm not that old, but in middle school and high school guys were never my best friends. They made fun of me constantly in middle school- calling me unibrow and frizz head. Anyway, in high school I went through a big change. I fixed my hair, wore natural looking make-up, dressed nice, I really tried to take care of me. But, guys didn't seem to notice. I completely agree about not approaching them, guys have tried to flirt and stuff, but when they do I automatically think the worst, so I shut them down. But I do like when guys notice me, just I always push them away. Maybe I have self issues or something?
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 29
Never Approached
Posted: 9/27/2010 7:40:37 PM

I've always had this "fear" of guys, maybe fear that they are going to hurt me or something.

That will definitely hold you back more than anything.


I completely agree about not approaching them, guys have tried to flirt and stuff, but when they do I automatically think the worst, so I shut them down.

So they do approach you, it's just that you don't feel enough at ease to allow it.


Maybe I have self issues or something?

Maybe - or maybe you're just not used to it and don't know how to handle it! I think you could give yourself a break on this and let it take its time.

Let me ask you this: When a guy seems to be flirting with you, do you ever worry that maybe he doesn't mean it and is making fun of you instead?

No need to answer. Just, if so, then maybe this is what I think of as "ugly duckling" syndrome. And if that's the case, it really is fine and does get better with a bit of time. It's just normal emotional development that it takes a while to start thinking of yourself as desirable, and to be comfortable with it as a fact, after a tough teen stage.

You are desirable! You are a very pretty young lady. It's okay if it takes you some time to get used to that.
 pandusvenator
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 30
Never Approached
Posted: 9/27/2010 8:07:47 PM
Believe it or not it may be how you sit. Also learn to glance casually at someone you think you might be interested in. Eventually you will make eye contact.

Your posture and what you are thinking will come through. A sidways glance at me will get an approach. How you sit can inspire me. A straight back is very very sexy. Crossed legs are very nice if it looks very feminine. knees together and your feet wider will get me to approach. A nice smile for no reason will get you a conversation with me. Being interested in something or a thought and twirling your hair will get me to approach.

When I approach it will be all about you as I want to know YOU. There is no braggart in me. What I do for a living will not be part of our conversation nor about any woman I may have known before I approached you. It will be a friendly conversation and I will say "nice to meet you" and walk away if i decide that i do not think we have anything interesting between us.
The only reason i said the above is so that you know when someone is actually interested in you.
 misszmsz
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 31
Never Approached
Posted: 9/29/2010 12:04:24 PM
Body language to signal your availability is holding your forearm up revealing your inside wrist, for both men and women.....classic example, sitting at a table, with elbow resting on table or chair arm, smoking a cigarette.

Not that I am saying you should take up smoking if you don't, it could be your phone or whatever........and definitely try to catch an interesting guys eyes and smile, nothing worse than a scowl to make a guy not want to approach you.

A women interested in a man will usually touch or stroke her hair. Completely agree with WomenInProgress.....if you are an outgoing woman you will have more dating success if you approach the man.....lots of shy guys want you to ask them questions.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 32
Never Approached
Posted: 9/29/2010 5:44:39 PM
Oh jeez, that's a strange one! It's good to see your still so young, because if you were much older and claimed this, then that would look very strange in many peoples eyes I'm sure. But you probably have been approached but just have not picked up on it or somehow forgot. Otherwise, with your smile and how you claim to be sweet and friendly, it should happen eventually. If you are often out with friends when hoping to be approached, this could be part of the problem. Being in groups can be intimidating to many. It often takes lots of courage for men to approach a woman or a group for that matter.
 RedElectric
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 33
Never Approached
Posted: 1/8/2012 10:15:02 PM
I only get approached by old Mexicans who can't speak English, and (no offense just not my type) big black guys! Help!

From reading the previous posts, I need to go to Hawaii apparently!
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