Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > In 2010, can someone explain this to me?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 51
view profile
History
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Maybe she was someone who contacted you, and you weren't interested (for whatever reason), and she jumped to a conclusion?
 pandusvenator
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 52
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/27/2010 8:15:22 PM
So please, someone explain to me why a black woman would care if I dated a woman that was not black, even if we were a perfect match?


Oh thats easy. lol I find black women to be more protective to racial purity when it comes to having children and offspring. That does not mean she won't date out of race but the woman was probably considering marriage or LTR in her pursuit of companionship in the overall scheme of things. Perfectly her right to do so. You are dealing with an inherant natural tendency. It's about survival of a race in simplistic terms if that helps. Nothing wrong with this.

I've seen two serious fights when a black man was with a white woman and it was the black girls that started the whole thing. The last thing they need is white girl competition...from thier viewpoint. I enjoy a woman of any race as well so i'm on your side in this.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 53
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/27/2010 10:58:27 PM

She probably hates the notion like some white guys hate it -- "You're taking my options off the market!" lol


I'm sure from your (lol) that you realize those angry people never truly had the option of dating the people they obsessed about. How could they lose an "option" with a person who would never pay attention to them to begin with?

One cannot make a rational justification for irrational goals.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 54
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/27/2010 11:19:42 PM
No. I can't explain it.

This is total bullshit from a complete ***hole, and should be dismissed as such.

Don't give it another thought. It isn't worth your time.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 55
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/28/2010 4:15:55 AM

I'm sure from your (lol) that you realize those angry people never truly had the option of dating the people they obsessed about. How could they lose an "option" with a person who would never pay attention to them to begin with?

One cannot make a rational justification for irrational goals.

I agree. Being a mixed race (of which my absolute background isn't clear to most people), I've heard some racist things from all angles. I've heard black men complain about black women dating white men, fellow black men dating white women, white men complain about black men dating white women ....all with the mentality that someone's stealing from their yard. I've tried to reason with them that the other person isn't being kidnapped and forced to date these people, they actually WANT to date who they're dating - but they refused to see that side of it. Some people really crack me up.

In my past dating life I've personally had white men ask me if I ever dated any black men because it's a dealbreaker for them, I've had black men ask me why I'd ever date a white man unless I was trying to improve my options or "sell out" (I honestly have no idea what it means). It's amazing the stuff you hear out there in this day and age. I like hearing this stuff though - it makes it way easier to weed people out as prospects or even friends when they say stupid shit like this. *shrug*
 txredbull
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 56
view profile
History
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/28/2010 6:50:08 AM
OP, I'm guessing she looked at your pictures which have white woman in them and probably "assumed" this.

That alwas a guess or an assumption but looking at your profile that is what my best guess was.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 57
view profile
History
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/28/2010 9:18:15 PM
Make no mistake, I am not angry or carrying this around with me. I fully understand that trolls exist and to just brush them off.
The purpose of this thread is for conversation on the topic. The fact is that many non-angry black women (and men) seem to labor under the opinion that it there is some sort of 'shortage' of black men in the States. That to date a person outside your race is somehow a betrayal to black women.

I do not hear this so much in my peer group today, but not so many years ago I heard it often. That a good black man is hard to find. That is me assuming of course that I fall into the catagory of a good black man. I grew up in a household wear my own mother felt this way and would often (and seriously meant it) call white people 'devils'.
I always secretly wish that I could get a glimpse into her head as her pride and joy, her grandson is half 'devil'.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 58
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/28/2010 9:35:06 PM
^^^^ Is that what Flip Wilson's character Geraldine was on about when he/she said "The devil made me do it " ...wasn't there some connection made between one of President Obama's recent decisions and this quote?
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 59
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/28/2010 9:35:35 PM
^^^^ oops
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 60
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/28/2010 9:41:38 PM
"That a good black man is hard to find."

Let me fix that for you. "a good man is hard to find."

Women of ALL races have used that hackneyed expression for years. I believe it has more to do with quality than quanity!!

ALL seem to b1tch about their respective genders. The problem doesn't lie in the availability, but in the choices made. You can say that "most black men are not quality" and it would be a lie, as much as the same would be true of "white" men.

The problem lies in "I like this man" and he isn't as good as I want him to be. But gawd forbid, she should look at her choices, rather than ALL men.
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 61
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/28/2010 9:53:50 PM

I'll give it a try. You being in another state is just another piece of evidence that you probably wouldn't be interested in her AND since she's a black woman, you must prefer white women. If this weren't true, you'd move to Ohio to be with her.

That's all that I can think of off the top of my head; I need to go now and take my medication.


CMonster........... I always enjoy your posts.........
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 62
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/29/2010 2:04:14 PM
maybe she's feeling insecure - has been rejected or turned down by other guys she's been interested in lately and is feeling resentful.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 63
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/29/2010 2:51:07 PM
^^^^People are weird, eh? I don't understand what that's about. Like Wanda Sykes said about straight black women complaining that her wife is white, "it ain't like you lost one", being that she's female AND isn't straight.

I forgot to mention that my ex is a long haired rocker looking guy - he was a sound tech so he did a few live rap/reggaeton shows and I'd go with him for company. It's amazing to me the looks he'd get in that crowd and the blatant disregard for him guys would have if he hit the men's room for a second by hitting on me to the point of harassment. Like I'd have wanted them if he weren't there.

I don't take that stuff seriously, and I'm quick to put a guy in his place when I feel he's out of line, but I always felt bad they did stuff like that to him - totally silly unnecessary stuff. *shrug*
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 64
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 9/29/2010 4:10:00 PM
I also get that question when I was once dating a black man. He asked if I had ever been with a black man.


Why does a black man ask that to a woman? Seriously... Is there a sex Olympic event between the races that I do not know about?

Should have replied "Why, have you?" Seriously, gotta wonder about anyone who would ask such a question.
 CrimsonRealityXRS
Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 65
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/3/2010 10:59:13 AM
It never fails. I get asked that every time I receive messages from Caucasian men. The African-American men never ask me, but the Caucasians always ask me "Have you ever dated a white guy before?"

Skin color doesn't matter to me. Personality matters way more than the color of one's skin.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 66
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/4/2010 1:44:05 PM
But on the general topic of curiosity, racial curiosity isn’t any different than curiosity between genders or individuals. How many people have you dated? Slept with? Divorced? What were their demographics? Am I the fattest? Best looking? Most well endowed?

Outside of whether they're divorced, your examples sounds like the curiosity of someone who could be self conscious about where they are in the pecking order in the whole scheme of things.

Think about it, what type of person would ask about how many people a person dated or slept with except someone who keeps track of such things themselves; and for what reason? Just in case someone asks them?

Are they the fattest or best looking? Come on, we can hardly talk about religion and political stance without causing a ridiculous amount of discomfort and you expect people to ask whether they were the fattest? Sounds like a level of insecurity which could be a warning of possible problems down the line.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 67
view profile
History
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/4/2010 8:02:51 PM

Think about it, what type of person would ask about how many people a person dated or slept with except someone who keeps track of such things themselves; and for what reason? Just in case someone asks them?

Are they the fattest or best looking? Come on, we can hardly talk about religion and political stance without causing a ridiculous amount of discomfort and you expect people to ask whether they were the fattest? Sounds like a level of insecurity which could


I agree. Am I the fattest or most well endowed? How many people have you dated? Those questions are all being asked by someone who is asking themselves where they fall in comparesion to others that person has dated. It is very insecure. Have you dated outside your race before could be out of curiosity because it is questions about the other persons experience, but am I the fattest or am I the most well endowed is a question that the person asking is using to measure themselves with.
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 68
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/12/2010 12:19:34 PM
Sure.
When someone's playin' with less than a full deck...the race card's usually in there somewhere.

Seriously, canam, don't tell us you don't know exactly what's going on inside this woman's head.

She's laying the "you're a self-loathing Black man" nonsense on you as a form of projection because she's feeling lower than dirt, for whatever nonsense reason. Take your pick. And because it's way more convenient to project blame outwards as a pat explanation for why she doesn't have what she wants, whatever that happens to be, than to do something constructive about it.

(I was going to crack some Abraham Lincoln jokes here and about how you're badly in need of another 14th Amendment to free you from the tyranny of these possessive Sistas, but I'm sure that'll rate a short d*ck/no rhythm comeback, and the only thing funnier than this cracker dancing is the mockery it inspires, so I'll leave it alone.)

Anyhow, no one's allowed to let you forget that your factory-issued color scheme is the primary determinant of your value and importance as a human being, as well as dictating whom you're allowed to associate with and date, what you're allowed to eat, where you can live, your performance on job interviews, and whether they'll throw in power windows for free on that car you're buying or slyly suggest you lay out an extra grand for 'rims'.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 69
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/12/2010 12:33:54 PM

She's laying the "you're a self-loathing Black man" nonsense on you as a form of projection because she's feeling lower than dirt, for whatever nonsense reason. Take your pick. And because it's way more convenient to project blame outwards as a pat explanation for why she doesn't have what she wants, whatever that happens to be, than to do something constructive about it.

I still think it's a riot that the people who seem to have the biggest issue with it tend to be the ones who have the least amount of patience to discuss their beliefs in detail. It's like they're the bluebird of happiness who swoops down, rains on your parade and then flies away before you even have a chance to look up. Damn pigeons...
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 70
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/12/2010 1:11:43 PM
The year doesnt have anything to do with anything.

Chris Rock did a funny skit on this. Rock's theory is that while many, many white women are attracted to black men, there are not as many black women that are attracted to white men. They don't want white girls taking all the good black men....according to Chris Rock.

Personally, when someone says something stupid to ME, I just think "Well what an idiot, too bad."
 E_keys
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 71
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/12/2010 9:20:48 PM
This conversation reminds me of a story I heard from a man I worked with, he's white (Italian :-) )

He was living in Chicago and dating a black woman from Africa. He's get the nasty looks on the street, he said, from black men and women - but then, they'd take another look at his GF and see, her cheekbones were shaped differently, she didn't walk and talk like Chicago.

It would click to them "she's not a sister!" and the malice would evaporate.

Isn't that even stranger? Saving the purity of the pool of African Americans in Chicago but leaving Africa out of it??

Fact is, we're animals and we evolved. We weren't designed by something intelligent, even for 2010.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 72
view profile
History
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/13/2010 7:22:09 PM

So she was right?. I mean she never said how she felt about this one way or another, or did you leave some of this email out. She just made( If your own statement is to be believed) a very astute observation


Astute? "who LIKE white women" is hardly evidence of astuteness. Proper grammar may be some evidence of being astute, but glaring grammatical errors amounting to nothing more than judgment calls hardly presents evidence of a shrewd or cunning mind.

I do appreciate the devils advocate, really, but I don't see where you come to the conclusion, from the quote alone, that this woman is astute. I could see if you came to conclusion that she was bitter & angry, even bored, but maybe that is just me.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 73
view profile
History
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/14/2010 4:30:22 AM
Perhaps that black woman would want your race to be pure African-American.
As an Asian, when it comes to people I am color blind,what I see is the goodness of a person who will share his life.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 74
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/14/2010 11:18:56 AM
^^^^Pretty much.

A hot man is a hot man is a hot man. Wrappings come in many shapes and colors.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 75
In 2010, can someone explain this to me?
Posted: 10/21/2010 2:35:01 PM
Racism pure and simple. Her motivation as to Why she said it is irrelevant. What she said paints the picture. The halls of her mind are probably filed with such artwork.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > In 2010, can someone explain this to me?