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 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 26
Found out I'm pregnant..Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
You say you have no babydaddy drama, then stated that you as of yet do not know who your childs dad is...........i would be really careful about having unprotected sex with numerous partners in short periods of time......there are std's out there, some can be a mild annoyance and others may kill you........plus it puts you in a bad spot of not knowing who your kids dad is.......after this baby comes i strongly suggest you use protection and limit your numberof sex partners, if you want to have a good time thats fine and dandy but you have got to play safe.
How are you gonna say you are not gonna tell your babys father that you are pregnant by him and you dont even know who got you pregnant?

Call 1-800- MAURY perhaps he can help.


EDIT:


I don't have my ged or hsd, should that keep me from dating as well?
It very well may keep you from finding gainful employment, which you will need to support yourself and your baby, while there are men who will date single mothers with no problem, if you are unable to make ends meet or put food on the table that may very well scare men off. Plus you should do it for you and your child, not for "dating".
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 27
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/7/2010 7:08:30 PM
If you meet someone tell them right away.

This thread that is currently running may help you get further insight.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1384849.aspx

Sidenote: Consider if you were a guy and had gotten someone pregnant. I believe you would want to know that you're going to have a child. You may not be actively involved in their life, but wouldn't you want that option available to you? Best wishes.
 a_lonewolf
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 28
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 12:01:35 AM
OP, why don't you put dating aside? At least make sure you're pregnant first. Those pee-on-a-sticks aren't always correct.
If you are pregnant, why not take this time to enjoy your time by yourself, it will be the last time you will be by yourself for the next 18 or so years.
FYI, no guy in his right mind would want to put himself along side anybody who has a situation such as your own.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 12:47:25 AM
Contrary to what others may say, a child is not a mistake, it is a gift from God

It makes me ill when people use a cliché like that in this type of situation.

For many young parents who end up on the taxpayer's dime ... that isn't much of a gift from God. There should be an option to send it back unless they have the means to support said "gift". If the young parent have the means ... then all the power to them. Otherwise, the kid is a mistake.

It's like receiving a multi-million dollar mansion as a gift. If you can't afford the property taxes or pay for the upkeep, the cost of that mansion will kill ya.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 30
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 5:31:53 AM
no padawan...children are always a gift...

always...


yet some gifts are better than others right?
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 31
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 6:22:35 AM

young parents who end up on the taxpayer's dime
That's not the way it's supposed to be, right?
People say all this stuff about a father's right to know and stuff, but this is it, right here. His right to know should be based on his ability to support his child financially. It's not the government's job to pay for an ill-planned conception.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 32
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 6:59:18 AM

His right to know should be based on his ability to support his child financially.


that might be one of the most ridiculous statements I've read in a long time.
 thatusernameistaken
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 33
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 8:13:36 AM
Okay, let me go through the checklist here.

- separated less than a year
- still legally married
- already had unprotected sex with at least one other partner besides your husband
- not sure who the father of the expectant child is
- live with your parents
- little education
- first pregnancy

You have a metric shit tonne of stuff on your plate as is OP. You should get off the computer and video games and start focusing all of your energy onto bettering your emotional and financial position in the short 9 or less months you have until your child comes.

Don't bother asking how you should broach the topic with a potential suitor as that's the last thing you need right now in my opinion.


PS - SpecificTruths, that statement is ridiculously ignorant.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 34
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 8:15:56 AM

It's not the government's job to pay for an ill-planned conception.

I'll take ignorant, if it means less people on the dole.
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 35
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 11:11:44 AM
OP....you don't know who the baby's daddy is .....you believe that while carrying the child of an unknown father it's perfectly acceptable to date....you have no worthy education........and somehow, I believe that all this is probably just the tip of the iceberg to your life.

Please take the advise given to you....get your sh*t together before worrying about dating...(or maybe your just more worried about getting laid?)....go back to school, find a way to support this child coming into this world (a worthy way...McD's doesn't cut it)....and the last thing on your mind should be your next bed partner!!

As it's been said...any WORTHY man will run as fast as can be....the ones that do stick around, won't be there when this child is born and if he is, I'm going to assume he will be in the same position you are.....uneducated and more worried about getting laid with his biggest accomplishment being that he once flipped 20 burgers in 20.2 seconds.

What you have to bring into a worthy relationship....is what will come to you...it's time to take care of the life growing inside you...not some dipsh*t boyfriend you want 'inside' you!
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 36
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 1:45:44 PM
I agree that children are a gift, however, Mom you need to get it together so you can take good care of this gift. I suggest iforming the men you have been with that they might have fathered your child, and that upon birth you will need to have some DNA tests to pinpoint the father. I dont think ultrasound testing is going to pinpoint the father, if you have slept with multiple partners in a short period of time, you need to know who the correct father is. Ultrasonography is NOT a tool for paternity testing, and anyone, and i mean anyone, who tells you it is, is a freaking idiot. They can tell you how far along you are in pregnancy by looking at fetal size and length, but it can not pinpoint conception dates. Honey get your head out of the clouds.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 3:21:18 PM
no padawan...children are always a gift...

always...

yet some gifts are better than others right?

If you're associating "children as a gift" in the same way as "a sweater is a gift" ... then you're right. A sweater isn't always preferred but it's still a gift. However, you can return or exchange a garment for something that you do want. Children doesn't come with an exchange or return policy. A parent is stuck with them for the rest of their lives ... whether they have the financial means or not. In the latter case, the taxpayer is stuck with the bill. I think taxpayers should have the right to send the "gift" back.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 38
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 5:10:46 PM

not some dipsh*t boyfriend you want 'inside' you!


Talk about straight to the point.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 39
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/8/2010 5:48:02 PM
^^^No kidding.
But no doubt as to where she stands on the issue. ;)
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 40
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/9/2010 8:22:07 AM

I think taxpayers should have the right to send the "gift" back.



ok, so where should we send them???

 nate2110
Joined: 7/4/2010
Msg: 41
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/9/2010 8:54:14 AM
I'm not going to judge you, reality is you though you are going to get hurt dating right now because the only guys that are going to date you are players if you are honest. If you don't tell the guy upfront you are pregnant, you are going to get hurt when they are out the door ASAP when you do.
You have a lot of time down the road to date, now is not the time.
You should find out and tell the father for your own good down the line. Even beyond financial support you will be owed, it won't be hard for a guy down the line to put themselves in the other guys shoes of having a baby they have no clue about and total deal breaker.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 42
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/9/2010 8:54:28 AM
I'm with motown..
Put your" sh1t" in your headline or change your user name to RAGU cause it's in there.

* GAWD*


 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 43
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/9/2010 11:57:16 AM
My my this is quite a messy situation. Of course getting your education would be the smart thing to do before bringing kids in to this world, but you are already pregnant so there is no point in even discussing that issue. On the other hand I personally know gals who were just about in the same situation as you, OP, and they managed to get some college courses in meanwhile being pregnant. You need to really sit down, perhaps with your family (since you said they support you) and discuss why it is you think dating WHILE PREGNANT is more of a concern to you than going to school to at least get that GED. That's what you honestly should be worrying about OP, is why the heck do I need another piece of meat when I have bigger things to worry about. What do you plan on telling your child when it's time for school? Mommy is ignorant and has no education but you should do better? Children look up their parents and if you never went to school you child will think 'why should I?'

Nobody is saying be alone for the rest of your life, OP. But at least make some moves that will make your soon to be born child proud of you in the long run. All dating is going to do is cause you more heartbreak and probably judging by what's happening now, you will get pregnant within a few month after giving birth. Do you really want to be a single mom to 2+ kids with no education and on a dole that men use for their pleasure? Think about that.

Good luck and I really hope you put dating all the way in the back of your head at least until you get some education in and your child is of proper age.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/9/2010 2:14:56 PM
I think taxpayers should have the right to send the "gift" back


ok, so where should we send them???

I don't know ... or really care for that matter ... as long as the taxpayer isn't paying.
 KiwiBassist
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 45
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/9/2010 3:38:44 PM
sad how some of you would treat these children like the scum of the earth. Did they ask to be here? No but most try to do their best.

Don't throw them into the foster care system where they pay foster parents 3x as much as the parent on assistance, as taxpayers support that system too.

OP, doesn't sound good you know not who the father is but you snapped at the posters here claiming you had already announced you did not know when you made no reference of that in your first post. Get an education before baby is born, and forget about dating, the only men who will want to be involved are those men who have a sexual fetish of being with a pregnant woman. Now is not the time to put your unborn child at risk.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 46
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/10/2010 2:51:26 PM
Don't throw them into the foster care system where they pay foster parents 3x as much as the parent on assistance, as taxpayers support that system too. - kiwi bassist

Do you know how our system got that way kiwi? The majority of kids in the foster care system were dumped there or put there child protection agencies long after viability of being adopted. Often from unfit parents who thought the best thing they could have done for their children was to keep them.
It is a clear reflection of just how cushy we have it here in the western world, we don't make the tough decisions well, especially when someone will bail young moms out or opt to send young mothers to school only to have the (unfortunately) majority fail thus resulting in a bulging foster system full of kids no one wants.

The rate of compensation for fostering is paid daily and is about 30 dollars a day in Canada.
 KiwiBassist
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 47
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/10/2010 3:45:59 PM
read up on the foster care system it needs a total overhaul, it is a money making business, and many parents did nothing wrong except not have the funds it takes to fight these corrupt agencies.

Many foster for the money and the kids have more harm done to them than they would have at the hands of their own parents. I say no more, just google a place called Canada Court watch and open your minds to what really goes on in that system.

the rate for fostering is more than the rate for welfare. Single parent on welfare about $800 where I am from, foster care $1000 per month per child paid to foster parents plus any extras needing covered. single person on welfare $610 so only about $175 a month is paid out for that child per month with their parent. So go ahead dump the "mistakes" as you call them into foster care to cost the system billions more plus all the mental health needed for the rest of their lives for various reasons.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/10/2010 6:27:58 PM
sad how some of you would treat these children like the scum of the earth

It's even sadder when people take up for the likes of OP. Because they know you'll speak out for their kids, kiwi, there's no incentive for them to make better choices about becoming a parent at a young age. In other words, they have you by the balls and you don't even know it. Coddling young parents have done nothing to solve the problem and has only contributed to their increase. Thanks for perpetuating the BS!!

I'm willing to bet that once the OP has given birth to this kid ... she will find another loser to fock and out pops another.

Don't throw them into the foster care system where they pay foster parents 3x as much as the parent on assistance, as taxpayers support that system too

Taxpayers should not support any of this ... period!!
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 49
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/10/2010 9:10:22 PM
No in a perfect world, the taxpayers shouldnt have to support children. But these children are innocent, do you really want them going hungry? These are the most vulnerable in our society. We send aid to other countries to feed their citizens, how about they stop poping out kids. In some states the government give single homeless men welfare that they spend on alcohol and crack. (But since those homeless crack smoking bums dont have kids they must be pillars of the community right)The theres the stupid wars, and the wall street handouts. Im not advocting popping put kids with no means to support them, but i dont think our civilised society should let these kids go without things kids need, either. THEY didnt choose their parents. I would rather my tax dollar go to help a poor child have some milk and clean clothes and hot meals than i would for a bum to have a hit of crack or to fund a war.

And foster care really does take a LOT of tax money. Many foster paents do it FOR the money they will recieve. And a lot of whack sh*t goes in them foster homes.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 50
Found out I'm pregnant..
Posted: 10/11/2010 8:27:09 AM
^^^
You make some excellent points.
Consider, though:
- The United States, as a percentage of GDP, donates the least (0.18%) of all donor countries. Private donations to other countries, however, leads the world. So, non-profits and charity is how most money is raised, no need to ask taxpayers for more.
- Money to help kids doesn't go to kids, it goes to parents, who may not have the child's best interest in mind. Think of the methamphetamine "epidemic" and use that example. You think welfare money going to an addict buys milk and clean clothes for anyone in the house? Let alone the kids?
- The Unites States social security and welfare related systems take excellent care of older people and disabled adults, yet does little to help children and young people. The percentage of children living in poverty far exceeds the percentage of older Americans living in poverty, and the percentage is well above the national average for poverty on the whole population.
- Many parents on welfare have more children to get a bigger check, similar to the foster care issue.

There are no easy answers, but fathers can pay up. The OP needs to let dad know so he can contribute financially. Call me ignorant if you want, I don't care, and I don't want extra taxpayer money going to yet another problem that can be mitigated with proper education of teenaged boys and girls about sex. All this "celebacy" and "no condoms" garbage is taking it's toll. When will we as Americans get fed up with this crap?
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