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 AUTHOR
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 26
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
just ask him casually and hear him out on it. But either way get an answer.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 27
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/8/2010 7:23:23 PM
Here we go again, with another over-analyzing woman who spends all of her time trying to find the true meaning of every word a guy says. If a guy was to say "the sky is blue", the woman would go nuts trying to figure out the hidden meaning and twist it around and interpret to mean something totally different. She would probably say to the guy: "When you said the sky is blue, does that mean you think I'm too fat?" No matter what the guy says, there is no right way to answer and all hell breaks loose.

Guys on the other hand, pretty much go with the flow and don't waste time and energy going crazy playing word games. If a woman starts calling a guy her boyfriend, most guys would either say: "Yeah, whatever" or they would exit if they don't want that kind of relationship. There is no spending 24 hours a day trying to analyze every word spoken.
 TherapistGal
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 28
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/8/2010 8:47:03 PM
Thanks for the helpful posts. Btw, I wan't offended that he refered to himself as my bf, I just wasn't sure what was meant. Sorry if I analyze too much. There is a reason I'm a Behavior Analyst. ;)
 tjl2280
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 29
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/8/2010 8:47:24 PM
How about you talk to him about it. "Hey remember the other night when you referred to me as your girlfriend? It caught me off guard we never had talked about that and I wasn't sure if you were serious about it" If you want to be with him you should be comfortable to bring up any subject with him.
 L2hot4tv
Joined: 9/6/2010
Msg: 30
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/8/2010 9:13:23 PM
Titles don't matter, if you guys are exclusive and steady you're his girlfriend.
/thread
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 31
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/8/2010 9:16:01 PM
I wonder if he was sending out a feeler to see what I would say/do


Why would you not just talk about it right then? you could have said something like " I had no idea you were my bf, maybe we should talk about this". instead of just letting it hang and getting your victoria secrets in a knot about it.

I think you are just scared to get serious with this guy and is now looking for red flags where there are none.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 32
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/8/2010 9:18:44 PM

...something like, "Because your jerk boyfriend isn't coming to take you out." Something like that. I kind of wonder if he was sending out a feeler to see what I would say/do.

Of course he was! Depending on how you responded at the time, you could probably still sidle up to him next time you see him and say something like, "So, I've got a boyfriend, now, have I? Does that mean I'm your girlfriend, too?"

Your first post, calling it presumptuous and saying he should have talked to you (which is what he was doing, after all), did come off like you had a problem with his making this little joke. I think it was adorably flirtatious!

Everything doesn't always have to be 100% plainly said in order to be direct. This was pretty darned direct, but with a cute, self-mocking sense of humor about it. Seems to me he's got a nice, light touch. I'm for it.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 33
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/8/2010 10:56:35 PM
Boy, some of you must literally drive yourselves insane with stuff that you hear your significant other say, and fail to ask about it at the time eh?


I would have brought it up right then and there, what he actually mean by his statement, and lead it into a discussion. Its pretty easy....really.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 34
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/9/2010 5:35:52 AM
Sweet Baby Jesus

If you're a THERAPIST wth??? I can't believe you are overanalyzing something that was a feeler to see what you thought/felt about this guy.

DAMN WOMAN. Some of us can't get a man to say FRIEND without wanting to add "with benefits" and you're whining??

There aren't any haters out here--just people wondering WTF. And how this is a legit thread.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 35
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/9/2010 9:02:13 AM

I just wasn't sure what was meant. Sorry if I analyze too much. There is a reason I'm a Behavior Analyst. ;)



so you're a behavioral analyst ?

 TherapistGal
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 36
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/9/2010 11:36:20 AM
^^^ yep. I work with kids with autism. :)
 nicegirl1974
Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 37
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/9/2010 9:12:15 PM
so what happened ?
is he your b/f ?
or did u move on ?
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 38
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/9/2010 9:56:14 PM
"I'm just wondering why he didn't talk to me about it and I think it's rather presumptuous."

He did talk to you about it, wasn't he talking to YOU when he said that?
Is NOT like you guys were at his family reunion party and he announced it to everybody there, it was a private conversation between the TWO of you.


"I do really like him and I'm ready to be exclusive, but feel that he should have talked to me."

Like what?
You wanted a conversation before THE conversation took place??
he wasn't joking about it to a third person, you keep saying talk to you first, he didn;t go behind your back and told someone else it is official between you too.


Are you like this about everything?
Do you want to have a meeting and a slide show, before, he casually
refers to himself in a jokingly way, as your boyfriend?
I'm already tired and I'm not the one "trying" to date you
 4ums
Joined: 6/7/2010
Msg: 39
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/10/2010 8:30:18 AM
And children with autism have problems getting jokes or fluff comments. I am guessing these kids aren't being taught these things exist by you. OP really you are sweating an innocent joke type comment! Why does there have to be an ordeal to be a bf and gf? Isn't it just nice to realize you are in a relationship without over analyzing that the details weren't discussed? It is when things become physical that you need a discussion, before that ENJOY!
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 40
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/10/2010 10:42:00 AM
OP, he was trying, in a playful way, to see how you'd react to him considering himself your boyfriend and if you feel the same. He either didn't know how to have the 'exclusive' talk or felt it too formal, as do I. Relationships are organic. They grow at their own pace, as well they should. This man is dating you. He made a very cute joke about being the 'jerk boyfriend' who couldn't take you out this weekend. It's his way of telling you that he considers you two a couple. You're attitude is ludicrous to me. You really like him. You want to be a couple with him and when he says something playfully to feel you out on the subject you consider him presumptuous? Why the hell didn't you say something like "Yeah, mister, so straighten up!" or some other cute response that would let him know you feel the same way about him as he does about you? You don't need a big, deep, intense discussion to determine whether or not you want to be exclusive. I find his way perfect. Get a sense of humor and get over yourself.
 Crabby_McCrabberson
Joined: 8/11/2010
Msg: 41
Referred to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/10/2010 11:04:47 AM
Mystifying to me how an entire class of persons can be written off as simultaneously overanalytical and not capable of analytical thought, by the same class of haters. That doesn't seem logical.

I've seen some rudeness here by people from whom I wasn't accustomed to seeing it. I want each one of you perfect people to post a thread of your own.
 ARTSMARTS
Joined: 10/8/2010
Msg: 42
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/12/2010 7:31:52 AM
what a waste of time who in their right mind would talk for 3 hours every night? I would get bored very quickly.....I already have problems of getting bored of people........and grow some balls just ask what ever is on your mind.........
 tinainhouston39
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 43
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/12/2010 10:12:40 AM
Hahahha I'm sorry but OP you make me laugh. It's interesting you both are in the same place but just because he put a label on it first you have an issue. It's all about control isn't it?? Why can't you just be happy knowing he wants to be your boyfriend without your 10 hour control talk first?? Your clearly getting what you really want, but not on YOUR terms first.

[I'm just wondering why he didn't talk to me about it and I think it's rather presumptuous. I do really like him and I'm ready to be exclusive, but feel that he should have talked to me.]

Do you hear yourself?? Read it over a few times and understand the underlined tone. Why over think things? Why not just be happy...good grief! For me you might as well be saying…”wow I just won a million dollars…why did it have to come in the form of a check??...Why didn’t they ask me what form I would like it in first??” See how utterly ridiculous that is?
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 44
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History
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/12/2010 12:56:15 PM
I like this!


Do you hear yourself?? Read it over a few times and understand the underlined tone. Why over think things? Why not just be happy...good grief! For me you might as well be saying…”wow I just won a million dollars…why did it have to come in the form of a check??...Why didn’t they ask me what form I would like it in first??” See how utterly ridiculous that is?





It appears almost everyone is in agreement over this. She should of been happy the guy referred to himself as her boyfriend. Maybe the OP realized how silly she was acting. It seems she has disappeared.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 45
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/12/2010 1:32:37 PM

However, last night when we were talking over the phone he refered to himself as my boyfriend. He said it in middle of a joke very casually. I'm just wondering why he didn't talk to me about it and I think it's rather presumptuous. I do really like him and I'm ready to be exclusive, but feel that he should have talked to me.



Why don't you tell him exactly that in those very words and see if he still wants to be your boyfriend.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 46
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History
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/12/2010 10:20:57 PM
Hmmmm . . . you're ready to talk to him about being exclusive. He playfully refers to himself as your boyfriend. And you're offended. I don't get it.
 Fishalways
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 47
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/12/2010 10:40:57 PM
Holy cow. When did dating get so fricking complicated?
The only time I have had to have an "exclusive" conversation was the first time I dated a woman from POF, and this was AFTER we were intimate.

I don't know, maybe I am old fashion, but dang, when I am intimate with someone I am working on an assumption that we are dating and exclusive unless we have already talked about NOT being exclusive, as in a FB or FWB thing.

I guess I need to write out a frigging dating contract now? I will have my people call your people and we will hash out the specifics of the arraignment.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/17/2010 5:46:14 PM

I don't know, maybe I am old fashion, but dang, when I am intimate with someone I am working on an assumption that we are dating and exclusive unless we have already talked about NOT being exclusive, as in a FB or FWB thing.

You don't have to write out a contract, but you really shouldn't assume anything that hasn't been brought out in the open. People operate will all sorts of different assumptions. There are people here who won't even *correspond* with more than one person at a time. And you have to put things in context. If getting physically intimate is preceded by a lengthy period of getting to know each other and dating and you know the other person is not dating anyone else, then probably it's safe to assume that progressing to physical intimacy carries with it an unspoken understanding of exclusivity. On the other hand, if you meet a woman and fall into bed with her pretty quickly . . . I wouldn't take it too seriously.

It doesn't have to be that big a deal. When I was getting to know my last boyfriend, we were dating for several weeks before we even kissed. It didn't appear that he was dating anyone else but I didn't know for sure. When things finally started getting physical, I just asked him simply, "Are you seeing anyone else?" He said, "No," and that was all I needed to know at the time. By then I'd gotten to know him well enough to know that there really wasn't anyone else and wasn't going to be.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 49
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/17/2010 6:32:29 PM

when I am intimate with someone I am working on an assumption that we are dating and exclusive unless we have already talked about NOT being exclusive, as in a FB or FWB thing.

But if you don't talk about it, how do you know she's on the same page? My thinking is that the person who wants something casual should tell the other person as a courtesy BUT there's no guarantee someone will do that so it's really up to the person who wants something serious to confirm they both have the same intentions. When intentions are not the same, it's always going to be the one who wants more who will end up disappointed.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 50
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/17/2010 6:33:09 PM

My car broke down this week and I think I said something like, "I'll have plenty of time to clean my apartment since I'm not really going anywhere," and he responded with something like, "Because your jerk boyfriend isn't coming to take you out." Something like that. I kind of wonder if he was sending out a feeler to see what I would say/do.

True. He could of been thinking "Does she have a boyfriend?" and threw it out that way. He could have been wondering the same thing you were -- is she seeing someone else? Does she have a boyfriend?

And also separately or even at the same time, feeling you out in terms of it... but in the context of a JOKE though -- we use labels may not stick, but use it in terms of you-know-what-I-mean.

In the context of certain jokes, don't take it as them claiming you are an OFFICIAL couple, is what I'm saying.
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