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 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 44
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Refered to himself as my boyfriend...Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I like this!


Do you hear yourself?? Read it over a few times and understand the underlined tone. Why over think things? Why not just be happy...good grief! For me you might as well be saying…”wow I just won a million dollars…why did it have to come in the form of a check??...Why didn’t they ask me what form I would like it in first??” See how utterly ridiculous that is?





It appears almost everyone is in agreement over this. She should of been happy the guy referred to himself as her boyfriend. Maybe the OP realized how silly she was acting. It seems she has disappeared.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 45
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/12/2010 1:32:37 PM

However, last night when we were talking over the phone he refered to himself as my boyfriend. He said it in middle of a joke very casually. I'm just wondering why he didn't talk to me about it and I think it's rather presumptuous. I do really like him and I'm ready to be exclusive, but feel that he should have talked to me.



Why don't you tell him exactly that in those very words and see if he still wants to be your boyfriend.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 46
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Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/12/2010 10:20:57 PM
Hmmmm . . . you're ready to talk to him about being exclusive. He playfully refers to himself as your boyfriend. And you're offended. I don't get it.
 Fishalways
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 47
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/12/2010 10:40:57 PM
Holy cow. When did dating get so fricking complicated?
The only time I have had to have an "exclusive" conversation was the first time I dated a woman from POF, and this was AFTER we were intimate.

I don't know, maybe I am old fashion, but dang, when I am intimate with someone I am working on an assumption that we are dating and exclusive unless we have already talked about NOT being exclusive, as in a FB or FWB thing.

I guess I need to write out a frigging dating contract now? I will have my people call your people and we will hash out the specifics of the arraignment.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 48
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Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/17/2010 5:46:14 PM

I don't know, maybe I am old fashion, but dang, when I am intimate with someone I am working on an assumption that we are dating and exclusive unless we have already talked about NOT being exclusive, as in a FB or FWB thing.

You don't have to write out a contract, but you really shouldn't assume anything that hasn't been brought out in the open. People operate will all sorts of different assumptions. There are people here who won't even *correspond* with more than one person at a time. And you have to put things in context. If getting physically intimate is preceded by a lengthy period of getting to know each other and dating and you know the other person is not dating anyone else, then probably it's safe to assume that progressing to physical intimacy carries with it an unspoken understanding of exclusivity. On the other hand, if you meet a woman and fall into bed with her pretty quickly . . . I wouldn't take it too seriously.

It doesn't have to be that big a deal. When I was getting to know my last boyfriend, we were dating for several weeks before we even kissed. It didn't appear that he was dating anyone else but I didn't know for sure. When things finally started getting physical, I just asked him simply, "Are you seeing anyone else?" He said, "No," and that was all I needed to know at the time. By then I'd gotten to know him well enough to know that there really wasn't anyone else and wasn't going to be.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 49
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/17/2010 6:32:29 PM

when I am intimate with someone I am working on an assumption that we are dating and exclusive unless we have already talked about NOT being exclusive, as in a FB or FWB thing.

But if you don't talk about it, how do you know she's on the same page? My thinking is that the person who wants something casual should tell the other person as a courtesy BUT there's no guarantee someone will do that so it's really up to the person who wants something serious to confirm they both have the same intentions. When intentions are not the same, it's always going to be the one who wants more who will end up disappointed.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 50
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 10/17/2010 6:33:09 PM

My car broke down this week and I think I said something like, "I'll have plenty of time to clean my apartment since I'm not really going anywhere," and he responded with something like, "Because your jerk boyfriend isn't coming to take you out." Something like that. I kind of wonder if he was sending out a feeler to see what I would say/do.

True. He could of been thinking "Does she have a boyfriend?" and threw it out that way. He could have been wondering the same thing you were -- is she seeing someone else? Does she have a boyfriend?

And also separately or even at the same time, feeling you out in terms of it... but in the context of a JOKE though -- we use labels may not stick, but use it in terms of you-know-what-I-mean.

In the context of certain jokes, don't take it as them claiming you are an OFFICIAL couple, is what I'm saying.
 lostintheshufle
Joined: 11/8/2010
Msg: 51
Refered to himself as my boyfriend...
Posted: 11/21/2010 8:02:25 PM
Just marked his territory that's all :-)
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