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 AUTHOR
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 26
Is she playing me???-Long StoryPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
How special is this woman to you? You really haven't mentioned whether you love her or even how much you care.

You are young. Maybe you should consider a fresh start with some one new. Are there other interesting women in your town or is she the only one? Wish her good luck and move on. Learn something from it.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 9:06:05 PM
Op, your posts about this are really all over the place. There's no such thing in THIS space-time continuum of a world where someone can be together for a year, but only dating for a month. It's one or the other.
And then you keep using the phrase "fooling around" to describe your relationship with her. PERHAPS you mean by this, that you were having sex with her, but "fooling around" is (again) NOT the same as HAVING A RELATIONSHIP.
You are also contradicting yourself in describing yourself as this calm, collected type of individual....who suffers PANIC ATTACKS AND INSOMNIA when a family member is sick, and/or a friend is ...being cheated on? I'm not clear what you mean by "stabbed in the back" in this sense. Anyway, calm collected people do NOT suffer panic attacks, then yell and make vile statements to a lover, and then blame those vile statements on a MOMENTARY LAPSE, which they will never repeat. I'm sorry, but from the way YOU describe yourself, you are a very flighty, nervous person, with a history of paranoia, subject to panic attacks, and a persecution complex...who wants to IMAGINE themselves to be a calm, rational person.
As to what SHE'S up to? No way to know, since you are the only one describing her here. Perhaps your misapprehension of reality extends to her as well. I've known many a guy who thought that having sex with a woman meant that she was intensely into him, when she was simply having sex for fun. Same thing going the other way. And if you DID frighten her with your outburst before, she would have good reason to "humor" you now.
I also agree with those pointing out that a woman who openly says she doesn't care about the guy she's with, isn't portraying herself as the kind of LOYALTY-ORIENTED person that someone with your sense of persecution would need, in order to remain "calm and collected."
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 28
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 9:15:35 PM
OP your not being played............
 Basketball85
Joined: 5/9/2010
Msg: 29
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 11:07:15 PM
We never had sex in the time period we were together. We made out, cuddle till 5am every friday and saturaday for about 1yr. I dont love her. I do care about her. I jsut find it weird how she said she is "scared i might do it agian", but is still willing to be friends. The type of guy she want to find she told me was "guys "like" me " thats what she wants. But without the "snapping part"
 Inanna44
Joined: 9/24/2010
Msg: 30
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 11:33:03 PM
basketball,
trust yourself, things happen for a reason. i don't think she is good girlfriend material. we all say dumb things and many of us in the course of a long term relationship have yelled and said mean things. now this is the important part.......we apologise, they forgive us and we never say those things again. period. she is not being fair. my guess is she is messing with your head.

i used to have panic attacks, not a bad thing, you will out grow them. yelling occasionally isn't that big of a deal. did you say really evil things to her or what? did you call her a whore or something like that?
 06mc69
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 31
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/9/2010 11:38:59 PM
We dated eachother for 1month. But we were "together" for 1yr


Um, how can you date for 1 month but be together for a year? That is totally off!


Igor, you said it best..

 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 32
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 12:46:03 AM
OP- if she felt the two of you had a real connection....she would have been the one calling you...not you calling her.

she would have been the one acting the fool at the end of the break up...not wanting to let you go....no matter what.

she's not playing you, because she's not getting anything from you right now.


she's just telling you what you wanna hear because she is bored and has nothing really going on.


believe it- if she really felt a connection with you still- your phone would begin to light up a like a Xmas tree and she'd drop the new guy like a cheap suit.



if you have a chance with her, she'll call you.


never call her again- wait for her to make a move...


realize that you guys were already breaking up BEFORE you yelled at her...



We never had sex in the time period we were together


wait wait...what what???

you were a friend in her book...because she's definitely having sex with the new guy and anyone else she boinked after she left you...

let this fish go...

quit wasting your time
 ChillinChill
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 33
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 4:24:49 AM
^^^ Yes, Don't call again. If she is "playing" you, she wants you to chase her like a sick puppy dog. If she wasn't playing you she more or less already told you she is not interested.
Don't call. Spare yourself some drama. Move on. You left the ball in her court. She knows your number. If she is thinking of you she will call. Let it be.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 34
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 4:48:13 AM
you contacted your ex after a year? wow you waited an awful long time to get back in touch with her again. i wonder why you waited so long. seems weird, like the part about being "together" for a year and dating for a month. but this one-year absence, it puts a lot of time *and* emotional distance between you. maybe you get another chance, maybe not. but i seriously question your motivations.... wait! i'll bet she does too.

edit:

I dont love her. I do care about her.

so apparently, this is some kind of a private challenge for you... to see if you can make her want you back. jeeezus, leave her alone already. you've got some big brass cojones man, asking if *she* is playing *you* ;)
 I-am-Rei
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 35
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 7:57:50 AM
I'm confused with your statements. I think I will change my user name to ConfusedWoman or ConfusedForever because I will forever be confused with some of the threads started by some people.

she "might" have been with her boyfriend at the time when we were fooling around. THats is y i got so angry and i confronted her about that. And i just snapped

So, you got angry and broke up with her because of a mere suspicion? Presumption? Doubt? Therefore, she has all the right to be scared, you didn't trust her!
You said:

I told her i want her back.

but then you said:

I dont love her. I do care about her.

So why do you want her back?Why do you want another chance? Who really wants to play anyway?
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 36
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 8:06:17 AM

We never had sex in the time period we were together.


No sex but in a "supposed" relationship for a year? Was she practicing celibacy, or did she just decide not to have sex with you?


I dont love her. I do care about her


This is someone that you were supposedly in a relationship with for 1 year. If you don't love her, then why in the hell do you want her back? Never mind. Don't call her.

It makes me wonder if she even knows that you don't love her, or perhaps you told her so when you said all of those awful things to her.

Just let it go and move on.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 37
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 10:22:13 AM
We never had sex in the time period we were together. .... I dont love her. I do care about her.


Then you never really had a relationship that is worth trying to salvage ... OP you need to let this go, get your head on straight and then move on to greener pastures.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 38
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 10:55:17 AM
OP- trust me...I had a buddy in a similar situation with a girl...he fell fast and hard for her...and he is 42 years old. so he had plenty of dating experience and a marriage under his belt...

yet he fell almost immediately hopelessly in love with the girl...I knew the girl from arm's length and never trusted her.


she did the generous thing and ""broke up"" with him after a few months.

he was devastated...

come to find out- they had never even had sex. i was baffled at my friend. she had stayed over his house and everything...


but if you think are in a relationship (barring religous convictions or the like) then sex is a part of that relationship...and if its not....then you truly are not in a relationship.
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 39
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 11:11:04 AM

I dont love her. I do care about her


It's the woman's fault they didn't have sex?????
seems to me there was alot of miscommuncation going on there........

I find it hard to believe that this guy was with this gal for a year and didn't pursue sex at all.....
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 40
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 11:41:31 AM

We never had sex in the time period we were together. We made out, cuddle till 5am every friday and saturaday for about 1yr.

Well, heck, I'd think that alone would be enough to make anyone lose their temper eventually, even without another guy possibly in the picture.

Now, the panic attacks, those I'd be concerned about, even if they haven't recurred since - sometimes they pop up again years later. Good idea IMO to get some coping mechanisms to help prevent them. This is a common problem, there's no shame in seeking some counseling help for it. Doesn't usually take much, either. Basically they just teach you some "tools" to use, like calming exercises.

In any event, regarding this girl, I think here are the salient points:
She's in a relationship.
She's telling you behind her boyfriend's back that she doesn't feel a connection with him, and that she's only with him because she's bored.
But, she says she's a nice guy and she doesn't want to leave him "right away."
Then she offers friendship.

Put yourself in the boyfriend's shoes. If you were him, and overheard this conversation, would you think you could trust her? No, right? That's because she isn't trustworthy.

I say move on. IMO the only reason you haven't been able to let go of this already is you haven't forgiven yourself for flipping out on her and want to somehow redeeem yourself for that. Which you can't, really. It happened, it's done, you can't take it back. But you can learn from it.

One valuable thing to take away from it is that being close with someone you can't trust will make you unhappy and angry. It doesn't make sense to seek another chance at that.
 4ums
Joined: 6/7/2010
Msg: 41
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 11:47:39 AM
You are playing yourself. You haven't found anyone else and so you are looking back and thinking something is better than nothing. Move on. She is INVOLVED. She may be sleeping with him and she will not tell you exactly how she really feels about him or what they do because it is noyb!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 42
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 4:40:31 PM
I'm going to agree with pandusvenator & 4ums posts on this. She may be a bit of a wimp, and also one of those girls/women who just cannot stand to be without a boyfriend-and unless there is a very strong religious/spiritual code at work here, I wonder about a year-long relationship with no sex. Maybe she was just with YOU beause she was bored. Although it would be impossible to know for sure-because we weren't THERE,listening in on the conversation-I don't know as you are an abuser looking for someone to happen to-but it might pay you to keep in mind that there ARE women in the world that one way or another, react very badly to even verbal abuse.
You need to let this go.
Cindy O
 Basketball85
Joined: 5/9/2010
Msg: 43
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 7:12:39 PM
The reason y we didnt have sex was becuase she is religious. I forgot to add we also go to the same college. And were going spend alot of time together studying and stuff. So is there a possibility of geting together??
 4ums
Joined: 6/7/2010
Msg: 44
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 7:34:32 PM
Reread, it doesn't matter if you did or didn't have sex, she is with someone else. End of story. Move on.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 45
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/10/2010 11:34:07 PM

And were going spend alot of time together studying and stuff.

Here's an example of grammar really mattering. A lot.

Do you mean, "were," as in, you both had intended this previously? Or "we're," as in, "we are planning to do this?"

If you mean that you once were going to spend time together studying, forget that, it's over. If you mean that you're planning on it currently, cease and desist! You learned the first time around that this girl brings out the worst in you and is the last thing you need in your life.

She has a boyfriend, who can't or at least shouldn't trust her - and neither can you. Not only that, but now that there's a definite third party involved, you never know what he might do, either. Stay away!
 I-am-Rei
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 46
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/11/2010 8:13:24 AM

And were going spend alot of time together studying and stuff. So is there a possibility of geting together??

3 pages but OP was not listening. Please go back and read again, OP.
 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 47
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/11/2010 9:37:30 AM
>sigh<

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain !
Classic case dude,... get over it Start anew,.. build something..try to make it resemble a life...
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 48
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/11/2010 10:24:26 AM

The reason y we didnt have sex was becuase she is religious. I forgot to add we also go to the same college. And were going spend alot of time together studying and stuff. So is there a possibility of geting together??


Keep telling yourself that, OP.
In the meantime, she has a BF (who she's probably having sex with).. and you'd be better off moving along and finding someone who is really interested in you. She's made her decision... you just need to accept it and move on.
 Basketball85
Joined: 5/9/2010
Msg: 49
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/13/2010 7:46:50 PM
Update: She broke up with her BF. What does this mean? Wants to be single for a while
 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 50
Is she playing me???-Long Story
Posted: 10/13/2010 7:52:46 PM

Update: She broke up with her BF. What does this mean? Wants to be single for a while


She broke up with her BF.

Wants to be single for a while
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