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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s      Home login  
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 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 26
ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45sPage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

I actually find it a blessing. I wouldn't wish to be fooled by peeps "dressing themselves up" -- much better to see/feel the real person. Just soes ya knoes when to put yer runnin' shoes on. . . .


"Dressing themselves up"....you nailed it exactly with that one Miss Wooby. And I have been fooled a couple of times by those who masquerade as sweet and sincere individuals.
One guy, (a regular poster at the time)...who I thought was just the cat's meow, turned out to be totally different once I got to know him. I said something that he didn't agree with and he refused to "talk" to me ever since. His anger was so unexpected....I was flabbergasted.

Glad I found that out early and not later. Too bad, cause I really liked him.

...mae
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 27
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/16/2010 8:58:48 AM
I'm going to add "ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE" to the book I'm compiling of all the different kinds of "Everything" there are. I started with "Timing is Everything," and added "Knowledge is Everything," " It's all about Trust," and so forth.
Truth be told, I have yet to find ANYTHING that is Everything. Even in an artificially narrowed venue, there will be many factors affecting the outcome of a challenge. I made up my own little 'wise saying' [i.e. wisecrack] about such statements, a long time ago: "Nothing Works, Everything Works." As in NOTHING works EVERY TIME for EVERYONE, and EVERYTHING (as in ANYTHING) works for SOMEONE at SOME time.
As for ATTITUDE, like anything else that occasionally works, the OUTCOME is what tells you what the solution was. That is, IF the person who you are trying to make headway of some sort with KEYS on ATTITUDE, then ATTITUDE will open their door. Add to that, my repeated observation that people who think the same thing always works, do so because they DISCARD all negative results. In the case of "Attitude is Everything" people, they TEND to claim high success rates, because they believe in addition, that "anyone who rejects me for my attitude is obviously defective, and not my kind of people, so THEY DON'T COUNT."
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 28
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/17/2010 11:06:31 AM
^^^^^^ I can't believe people actually live like they portray in the forums. I think that the entire forum scene is some kind of virtual reality game in which there is a competition to see who can come up with the most bizarre set of beliefs and experiences to justify those beliefs. Anybody who actually thought that way would be a lonely unhappy person with no deep relationships of any kind.......
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 29
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/17/2010 6:07:08 PM
unfortunately some people aren't happy unless they're sad,
just as many seem to thrive on constant drama and confrontation...
so these forums provide a welcome outlet for their emotions.

others, like me, find them a constant source of amusement.
(a bit of light reading before turning the light off late at night)
and a great way to make new friends...

doesn't the varied content of these forums reflect what is the reality in life,
that we are all extremely different beings?...

thank goodness for that i say!...
 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 30
ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/18/2010 6:09:55 AM
Its all in the Grrrr-attitude

Its all in the tude dude
 jackfouru
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 31
ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/18/2010 8:40:09 PM
70% of something is better than 100%? Not sure if I would agree,depending on what that 30% is. There are a few requirements from a woman that, without, would be a deal breaker in my mind: 1) intelligence. 2) sensitivity 3) kindness, 4) honesty 5) attractiveness 6) integrity 7 ) decency 8) class.

Doubt would be willing to give up on any of the above, although some are more important than others. I would not need the most beautiful of women, but I could not be with a woman who was ugly . ., nor dumb . . no matter how pretty, nor mean, nor lacking intgerity . . or decency or a certain amount of class. No settling for 70% here. No way. No day.
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 32
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/18/2010 9:36:22 PM
^^well,
at least be thankful when she was talking about "measuring up" she didn't pull out a tape measure...
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 33
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/19/2010 8:07:55 AM

There are a few requirements from a woman that, without, would be a deal breaker in my mind: .... 8) class.


The word "class", as used, means "social class". The word is never used by anyone born to and raised in the middle class or upper class, or even the academic class. It's a blue-collar word, used only by someone born to the blue collar. It denotes a partner also from the blue collar class.

Generally, staying in the social class one was born to makes for FAR better relationships.

Note, "social class" is defined (by everyone one but blue collar's) as social values rather than income levels. Blue collars value physical and emotional toughness, a "John Henry" view, if you will, blues tend to be loud in their dress and play; Middle class people value education and teamwork. The teamwork ethic is why corporations want higher education for its white collar staff, as higher education is a middle class trait, middles tend to be quieter in their play and dress; Uppers value lineage, breeding and civility. Uppers are very quiet in their play and dress; Academics value their PhD's, Academics are sloppy in their dress and read 19th Century novels for play, in a Saturday afternoon softball game, academics are chosen last and are placed out in right field.
 jackfouru
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 34
ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/19/2010 12:20:55 PM
My definition of class means speaks well, dresses well, is lacking body piercings and tattoos, holds her head high, etc.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 35
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/20/2010 4:12:08 PM
The use of the word "class" is an indicator of a particular set of social values which can be characterized by a veneration of physical and emotional toughness. It is not used by those who venerate education or breeding or PhD's.

It indicates a particular attitude. There's a certain level of pretentiousness to it, but by the same token it also indicates one is not likely to embarrass one's partner by laughing too loudly or drinking too much beer. Thus it has value in certain dating situations.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 36
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/20/2010 4:23:15 PM

My definition of class means speaks well


check.


dresses well


check.


is lacking body piercings and tattoos


oops!



what's hidden underneath my clothing has nothing to do with "class"...
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 37
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/20/2010 7:16:29 PM

WWW sometimes I despair reading anything you write... Where on earth do you dig up some of what you quote?


As D1ck Cavett said, "It's surprising what you can see when you just look."
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 38
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/20/2010 8:50:20 PM
Commonly heard in the science community across the world is the statement, "When the data does not agree with the theory, the data is wrong."

Market Segmentation By Lifestyle is an interesting bank of thought regarding how lifestyle's (social class as defined by social values) affects behavior and thought processes.

Also, the seminal work "Class" by Paul Fussell can give a basis for disecting, parsing, and predicting behavior by one's social class of birth. (Roughly, "You can take the boy out of Brooklyn, but you can't take Brooklyn out of the boy.")

Let me bow out of this one by saying attitude DOES make the difference in the meet and mate world.
 jackfouru
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 39
ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/21/2010 12:49:48 PM

what's hidden underneath my clothing has nothing to do with "class"...


Yea, I know today that tattoos and body piercings are all the rage. What can I say, I am from a time when nobody with class would be caught dead with a tattoo. Times have changed, but my values in that regard have not.

ON the other hand, I would guess that behavior more than anything would describe class. Acting the right way at the right time . . not endung up with a lampshade on your head at a party. Being dignified and professional when appropriate, etc.
 jackfouru
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 40
ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/21/2010 12:52:42 PM
Well, wealthy never had anything to do with my definition of class. It is simply the way you hold yourself out to the world, and yea, it is something that IS LEARNED, generally by Children who are brought up by classy parents as opposed to alcoholic wife beaters.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 41
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/21/2010 7:22:53 PM
frienddougie...
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 42
ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 10/22/2010 2:56:16 AM

Reading these boards has been quite an eye opener. It seems these boards are often (although not always) about rancor and sarcasm and him versus her and adhominem attacks. You would think that people trying to make an good impression on the opposite (or same) sex would be far kinder, sensitive and gentler than many people here. You would think by the time a person is 45 that they have learned more to go with the flow rather than constantly be formenting drama.

This is the bottom line. Do looks matter? absolutely. Does intelligence matter? Of course . . . a smart, educated person wants the same in a partner . . but what matters the MOST? ATTITUDE ATTITUDE ATTITUDE. If you are angry at the world, angry with your lot in life, mean, miserable or a drama queen (or king), you can forget about having a decent relationship with anybody imho. Positive attitudes will take you far. Negative attiudes will leave you trailing in the dust. Its a fact of life.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5um8QWWRvo


I'm not sure whats worse, finding a bunch of mature adults attacking each other like children or going to some of the other threads and reading about how size does or doesn't matter, or how to perform certain sexual acts, or who appreciates getting pictures of nude guys via email. I mean these boards are nuts.


Oh who knows... maybe voicing disillusionment and bitterness are part of the process of getting back into the dating scene, downsizing, unemployment, foreclosures.. a less than felicitous retirement. Once people are over it... they move on if they can, OR they learn to wallow in the anonymity and stay stuck there for years and years.

On this point I'm not disagreeing with you at all, I think many of us are just as insulted as you are... but this seems to be the unfortunate nature of the beast.... or maybe we've been programmed to accept the mediocre and less than optimum as our pitiful due.
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 43
ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 2/1/2011 9:39:46 AM

it is something that IS LEARNED, generally by Children who are brought up by classy parents as opposed to alcoholic wife beaters


Actually my father was an alcoholic wife beater and he taught me the same definition of class as you have stated. I guess he got one thing right.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 44
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 2/21/2011 9:10:11 AM

ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s

Uh, no. It just seems that way. When we're young, a woman who looks really good and a guy who's the star of the football team can get away with bad behavior because they have other attributes that still attract the opposite sex. As we age, some of those attributes disappear, and for women, as they age, it's the looks problem which no longer overcomes the bad or even borderline attitudes. But you'll still find old fat short bald ugly nasty rich guys with hot, nice women of all ages. Rich seems to be a very high ranking attribute for women no matter how old a guy is, and it's more often found in nasty old guys than in nice young ones. So, it's not all about attitude, at least not for guys. It certainly helps, but it isn't the most important thing. $$$$$$ is. No job, no cash? Usually, that means no woman. Don't get me wrong, there are a few charmers out there that can twist a woman around their finger no matter what, but they are few and far between. The rest of us 'nice guys' don't usually have that kind of success.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 45
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 2/21/2011 1:13:40 PM
Waywardwind: "Generally, staying in the social class one was born to makes for FAR better relationships."

wow ... now I know why I suck at relationships ... I should have stayed in my class ... I should have been and married a gold miner ... or a rodeo bum ... or gone into ranching, breeding palaminos and white faced herfords ...

cuz ... that's what/where I came from! silly me ... I went to college, married an educated man ... had children and gave cooktail (misspelling deliberate) and dinner parties ... provided the children with various sports and dance classes, etc.

now see ... if I'd just known that sooner ... I would have looked for a COWBOY!

but I WAS always chosen last for games ... and was never placed in right field!



actually, I was usually the pitcher cuz that was all I could do!
 Meeting_At_The_Crossroads
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 46
ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 3/19/2011 7:44:53 PM
I concur with OP on this business about attitude. When I was working, my supervisor had a saying "Attitude determines altitude". While this was meant to be applied in the workplace it has a place in "real life" and the dating world as well.

If one has a positive attitude, good things will happen. Most folks easily recognize a poor or negative attitude and simply shy away from the person. Not that a positive attitude will be the guarantee of results - but it will provide an opportunity at least.

Not that it worked in the workplace I was a minion in. There the Peter Principle reined supreme!! Go figure.

I believe it all comes down to luck - but one has to help Lady Luck a little.

Be Lucky !!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 47
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 3/19/2011 8:43:58 PM
Some interesting comments in this thread. I have to admit that I do not look favorably on piercings and tattoos. Pierced ears are a different matter, but not the type of ears with 20 piercings. And studs sticking through your nose, or rings through your lips -- shudder! I have become somewhat accustomed to seeing tattoos on women, even big highly visible tattoos. But I will never think it enhances a woman's appeal. Never.

I am a girl watcher from way back. Like all of my life, basically. And I do enjoy seeing beautiful young women showing off what they have. But when I see an otherwise attractive young woman with what looks like a mutilated ear, or for crying out loud, rings through her lips. I just have to wonder -- do the young men think those things enhance her sexual appeal?
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 48
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 3/20/2011 8:27:09 PM
everyone of all ages are nuts that is why I opt for younger women, less bad experiences thus less jaded in a way.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 49
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 3/23/2011 6:13:43 AM

everyone of all ages are nuts that is why I opt for younger women, less bad experiences thus less jaded in a way.


Can you not see the irony of your own statement?
Wouldn't that mean that you have a "jaded" view of all "older" women?

Every time I see a man post that type of comment......my mind immediately
thinks .....this is a man that can't handle a woman that stands up for herself....so he
goes after the young girls because alot of them will take the crap an older woman won't!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 50
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ITS ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE FOR THE OVER 45s
Posted: 3/23/2011 6:35:02 AM

Every time I see a man post that type of comment......my mind immediately
thinks .....this is a man that can't handle a woman that stands up for herself..


How, and why, would anyone be in the position of not being able to "handle someone that stands up for themselves", as you put it?

People that want to develop a relationship have to be creative in a way that melds their lives into a mutually satisfying pattern. The entire idea of having to "handle" the other partner of the pair is to me the antithesis of what should be going on. If the situation arises, it has to mean that lines have been drawn and positions hardened, which means that the relationship is on an essentially destructive path.

Last place I would want to be emotionally is a situation where I felt the need to "handle" my partner.

Now, whether it is true or not that younger people are more open to melding into a new relationship than older ones, I suspect it depends on motivations. Certainly younger people, driven by the reproductive urge, appear in many ways to find it easier than older people to meld, but that is certainly not true for everyone.
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