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 raxarsr
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 141
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more blonde jokesPage 2 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
best blonde joke ever......cant believe i havnt posted it yet



why do blondes have black and blue belly buttons?
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blonde guys are pretty stupid too
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 146
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Posted: 3/20/2011 10:25:58 AM
I not only like that joke, I want that HOUSE!!!!
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 150
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Posted: 3/21/2011 9:30:26 PM
thank GOD there's one thread on this page that's actually got FUNNY JOKES!

as always, thanks Sowrite! and thanks to everyone else who just posts FUNNY JOKES ...

 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 155
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Posted: 3/25/2011 4:27:51 AM
Sounds like she passed the test!
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 157
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Posted: 3/25/2011 9:00:03 AM
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 158
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Posted: 3/25/2011 9:01:09 AM
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 160
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Posted: 3/25/2011 4:09:48 PM
"chuckle"...I like that...

Well, I like humor...it's easier to handle then some of the more emotional threads...thanks for the welcome!

A blonde government supervisor called in a subordinate regarding his failure to complete his last task.

Blonde: Sam, I see you only converted 4 out of the 5 books I asked you to convert to Braille. As you know our state needs to make our publications available to everyone including the blind.

Sam: Yes, of course.

Blonde: So what happened with that fifth book?

Sam: You mean the automobile driving manual?
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 162
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Posted: 3/25/2011 6:27:26 PM
backatcha:


This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living
room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him
that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 164
more blonde jokes
Posted: 3/25/2011 7:58:00 PM
.

Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to re-train them.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 166
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Posted: 3/26/2011 6:32:35 AM
There are elevator jobs available?
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 168
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Posted: 3/26/2011 10:10:45 AM
^^^ who fed you those replies...chuckle...pretty good thinking on yer feet.


Did you hear about the blonde who hijacked a submarine?She demanded $200,000 and a parachute.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 169
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Posted: 3/26/2011 11:38:49 AM
I was trying to figure out a joke where the blondes were ALREADY convinced the HAD the elevator job, but were confused about why they weren't getting paid, but I couldn't make a good go of it. That's always my problem with trying to create jokes. Love these SO much.
Parachute! javascript:smilie('')
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 171
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Posted: 3/26/2011 6:35:02 PM
peacemaker...

A Blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out. When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said:"there's no fish in there". So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there. So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there. So she looks up and see's a man looking down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" So the man cooly says "Well first of all this is a hockey rink and you're going to have to pay for those holes.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 173
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Posted: 3/27/2011 5:29:50 PM
ALLIGATOR SHOES
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then, the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darnit, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 175
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Posted: 3/27/2011 6:16:22 PM
OH NO!!! I'm becoming blonde...(if only I had hair)

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 177
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Posted: 3/27/2011 8:08:04 PM
That is FUNNY....where do you find this stuff??
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 179
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Posted: 3/28/2011 4:58:04 AM
Uh-oh, sowrite. I thought we were supposed to date OTHER people here. You are dating YOURSELF! Whiteout?
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 182
more blonde jokes
Posted: 3/29/2011 9:41:42 AM
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage!

If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again!

If get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.

"The blond guy opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again.

If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.

The Mexican opens his lunch sees a burrito and jumps too.

The blond guy opens his lunch, sees bologna and jumps to his death also.

At the funeral, The Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If only I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!

The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas and saved his life! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blond guys wife.

"Hey, don't look at me" she said. "He packed his own lunches."
 Wottacatch™
Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 184
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Posted: 3/29/2011 1:17:40 PM
How do you keep a blonde at home? -

Build a circular driveway.
 Wottacatch™
Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 186
more blonde jokes
Posted: 3/30/2011 6:11:55 AM
A young blonde was in school and the teacher asked her...In the alphabet what comes after O..

The blonde replies ....God I'm cuming
 Wottacatch™
Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 187
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Posted: 3/30/2011 6:14:37 AM
How do you know a blondes been at your computer?
Theres white out on the screen.

How do you know another blondes been on your computer?
Theres writing over the white out.

How do you know another blondes been on your computer?
The joystick is wet.

How do you know another blondes been on your computer?
Theres cheese infront of the mouse.
 Wottacatch™
Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 188
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Posted: 3/30/2011 6:17:35 AM
A man gets into an elevator and inside is a pretty blonde. She smiles at him and says "T.G.I.F."

He looks back at her and says "S.H.I.T."

She's a little surprised by this but says again, "T.G.I.F."

He looks at her again and repeats "S.H.I.T."

Now she's upset so she explains herself "T.G.I.F. , Thank God its Friday."

He looks back and says to her "S.H.I.T., Sorry Honey, its Thursday."
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 190
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Posted: 3/30/2011 6:01:09 PM
This blonde guy was really dumb. In school, he sat next to a really smart student and the teacher knew he was cheating on tests, but she could never prove it, until one day. As she corrected the tests, the teacher saw that the really smart kid had answered a question, "I don't know." The dumb blonde had answered that question. "I don't either."
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 192
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Posted: 3/30/2011 6:11:12 PM
Three blonde guys got into a plane and took off on a trip. On the way they had engine trouble and their plane crashed in the snowy mountains. Being resourceful and determined to survive, they drained some gasoline out of the tank and started a fire to keep warm. When they got thirsty, they found a piece of metal from the wreckage, filled it with snow and melted it. Later they got hungry and ripped some strips from the leather seats, dipped them in motor oil and fried them like bacon.

Vacationers in the nearby Doubletree Hotel thought it was the most amazing thing they'd ever seen.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 194
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Posted: 3/31/2011 1:37:16 AM
Well, wasn't she the inattentive one. You said you were SHOOTING skeet, not killing them and bringing them home. (I may be part blonde...I actually think this way).
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