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 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 76
more blonde jokesPage 4 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the nearby woods and all climb up seperate trees. When the police find the redheads tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the brunette's tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blonde's tree and ask who is up there, the blonde goes,"MOOOOOOOOOO!"
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 77
more blonde jokes
Posted: 12/31/2010 7:02:24 PM
Thanks Apollodorus. They're here to bring a few laughs. Glad you enjoyed them.

Dan keep them coming! Good stuff!

A blonde was sitting in class when the professor asked her if she knew what the Roe vs Wade decision was.
She sat there for quite a while pondering this very profound question and finally said,
"I think that is the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware."
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 78
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/1/2011 3:19:28 AM
^^^^^

Q: Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
A: She couldn't find the recipe.
 softy63
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 79
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/1/2011 5:38:55 PM
A red head, a brunette and a blonde were all asked the same question:

"If you knew you were to be stuck on a desert island what one thing would you bring ?"

"Sunscreen", said the redhead.
"Water", said the brunette.
"A car door", said the blonde.

"A car door?" they all questioned.
"Yes." she said.
"So if it gets too hot I can wind the window down."
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 80
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/1/2011 10:55:41 PM
Hi softy. Thanks for sharing. I've never heard that one and it's very funny.

She was so blonde that On the bottom of the job application where it said 'Sign Here' she wrote 'Aquarius'.
 softy63
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 81
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/2/2011 3:21:54 PM
Sowrite, your jokes are hilarious!!!

The blonde stopped taking the pill because it kept falling out? .......and donut seeds?

OMG!!!
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 82
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/6/2011 9:49:23 PM
Thank you Softy! I began this thread to give people a few laughs and to illustrate that if we can't laugh at ourselves then we're taking things too seriously in life!

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 83
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/7/2011 6:10:00 PM
Dan: good one- ::fistbump::

How do you regonize a blonde in school?
They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 84
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/7/2011 8:59:15 PM
^^^

There were two blondes going hunting. It was getting late so one of the blondes said to the other that she heard if you ever get lost in the woods to shoot three shots into the air. So she did. A few hours went by and so she fired three more shots in the air. Afew more hours went by and they fired three more shots in the air. Then ont of the blondes said someone better hurry up and save us...we only have two more arrows left.
 softy63
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 85
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/9/2011 4:04:27 PM
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were in a spelling competition at Elementary school.
The teacher asked them to finish this sentance and spell the answer.

"Old MacDonald had a .........."

"Ranch." Said the brunette. "r.a.n.c.h"
"House." Said the redhead. "h.o.u.s.e"
"Farm." Said the blonde."e.i.e.i.o"
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 86
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/10/2011 5:21:41 AM
A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her to just go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard,
and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe.
Nothing happened.
She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said,
"What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her
to blow into the tailpipe in order to get the dents to pop out.

Her roommate rolled her eyes and said,
..."HELLLLOOOO!!!
You need to roll up the windows."
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 87
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/10/2011 9:51:14 AM
A brunette and a blonde were walking in the park and the brunette said, "Oh look at that dead bird".

The blonde looked up and said, "where?"
 softy63
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 88
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/10/2011 3:09:12 PM
A blonde and her brunette friend were walking along the pier. Suddenly the blonde looks down and sees large white rocks under the water.

"Oh look!" She said excitedly. "Seal eggs!"
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 89
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/10/2011 3:30:11 PM
^^^^^Oh dear Lord that's funny

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 90
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/11/2011 6:20:54 AM
There is a blonde driving a car, she swerves to the left then right, then left. Then a police officers pulls her over and asks what she is doing, and she says"I swerved to the left cause there was a tree on the right, then swerved to the right cause there was another tree so i swerved to the left" The polce man says" Lady that's your air freshener.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 91
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/11/2011 11:29:02 PM
A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and the other was named Timex. Her friend said, "Who ever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" HellOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 92
view profile
History
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/13/2011 4:39:58 AM
"-Why did the blonde change the diapers just once a month?
Because on the box it said: good for up to 20 lbs."
This one works well to describe the thinking of male engineers, like me, too! And I'm not even blonde!
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 93
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/14/2011 10:41:10 AM
^^^good to know Igor. Hmmm...equating blondes and engineers. Are you suggesting I should date engineers and we may have some things in common, as in our rationale? :P

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:

Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

Blonde: Yes.

Operator: The power in the house in on?

Blonde: Of course.

Operator: And the switch is on?

Blonde: Yes, yes.

Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?

Blonde: No, it's working fine.

Operator: Then what's the problem?

Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 94
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/14/2011 8:18:56 PM
Q. What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A. A blonde going through a flashing red light.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 95
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/16/2011 9:14:42 PM
Why don't blondes know how to write the number "11"?
They don't know which "1" comes first!
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 96
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/17/2011 7:58:19 PM
One night we were having church when the lights went out. We were all looking around trying to find the problem when my Blond Aunt Debbie ran outside. In just a few short minutes she came running back inside the church and as serious as she could be, said, "Hey you guys my lights are working in my car.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 97
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/23/2011 7:33:27 PM
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You can park in the handicap zone.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 98
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/24/2011 9:25:22 PM
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on an island. While walking along the beach one day they spot a lamp in the sand. They pick it up and rub and out pops a genie. He says,"I'll grant you each one wish. What is yours?" he asks the brunette.
"I'm sick of this island - I wish to go home," she answers. Poof! She disappears.
The genie then turns to the redhead. "What is your wish he asks?"
"I'm also sick of this island, so I wish to go home, too," she replies. Poof! She disappears.
Finally, the genie asks the blonde,"What is your wish?"
She answers,"Well, I'm very lonely now. I really wish my friends were still here..."
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 99
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/26/2011 7:53:26 PM
^^^^well we both know that she would have said something stupid anyway -ha

are you blonde btw??? ha ha

Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails?
A: To hide the valve stem!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 100
view profile
History
more blonde jokes
Posted: 1/28/2011 12:31:30 PM
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't. They wait in the dark, flicking the switch until the sun comes through the window, then tell anyone who asks "See! It's just a matter of perseverance!"
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