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 AUTHOR
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 7
Reposted profile - please reviewPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
You have that you're Looking For: FRIENDS. Young women in their early 20's (any lower and you're dating a teenager) have a lot of 'friends', they're looking for a boyfriend/romantic partner. What this essentially tells them is that you're not serious about finding a romantic partner. Yes, you have to like the person you're dating, but you wouldn't sleep with your friends, right? (I sure as hell wouldn't)

If you're not really into 'old fashioned dating', why even have a First Date filled in? From the many profiles I've read, those that 'protest too much' usually are doing so from past negative experiences and can't get rid of the baggage.

If you truly are just looking for Friends, delete anything to do with romance and dating and don't waste anyone's time who has that they're Looking For: DATING.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 9
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Posted: 10/21/2010 10:19:27 PM
You kept all the stodgy business and each of the three "I want younger" statements. Makes me wonder about my theories about the values and effect of vibrant activities instead of demands that someone else supply the energy - maybe I've not a clue about this and I'm commenting on profiles only to hear the clicking of the keys.. clickidty clickkity clack - lcikkity clakk. What a nice sound that is.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 11
Reposted profile - please review
Posted: 10/22/2010 10:09:21 AM
^^^It looks good. You'll never encompass what other people enjoy doing. Your interests are varied enough that most young ladies will likely find a couple of things they like to do in there. Good luck to ya.
 Suburbanlife
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 15
Reposted profile - please review
Posted: 11/12/2010 9:45:16 PM
I’ve no suggestions for you but did want to point out you really have no idea how many people have viewed you as many women on here view profiles in stealth mode. Also be aware that here are a finite number of members joining so once existing members have viewed you ‘hits’ to your profile will decrease.
 baadtz
Joined: 11/6/2010
Msg: 20
Reposted profile - please review
Posted: 11/13/2010 7:34:07 AM
Considering that your restrictions have that you aren't looking for intimate encounters, I am sure most women can make the assertion that you aren't looking for a hookup or FWB.

Unless they just assuming you are lying, in which case the problem lies with them and not you.

Or they just don't bother to read all of the profile.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 22
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Posted: 11/14/2010 2:19:58 PM
I wonder how things are going. Cause I'm certain you can make this work. It could be just an accident. One better pic. Something in your profile that's real and grabs a women's interest.

Sarah is telling you how this is read by some women. A bunch are careful. We don't wish to draw attention and get tossed for being critical. Some like your profile. Its actually fairly good.

Still.. "I don't have have narrow stereotyped expectations of relationships or women, I stay away from pretentiousness, stereotypes, and mind games - there's no "baggage" with me. "

Do women understand or believe that? Wouldn't it work better to talk about things that point out what those vague sentences mean in the specific?

Those may be stodgy, dodgy and dead things to some. To me they make the profile old and crotchety. I'd prefer women were thinking rocket crotch not crochet or crotchety. Whatever.. not sure where I'm going with that.

If you're after lively it may help to breath life into your profile. Have good photos to start. Get things that are "meet me downtown London" look. Be relaxed, smiling, multiple settings, inclusive.. ... yadhdeyaddeayah ayahdhdha yah.

About me's should contain zero biz that others say. "No baggage" has been mentioned a few times. It occurred to at least a couple of folk that they'd like "No mind games". You'd like to "stay away from pretension" as well.. Are you certain that those aren't "narrow stereotypical expectations of relationships or women" - cause I recall them in quadraphonic. Quad sound doesn't play now, junk others say does not either.
 baadtz
Joined: 11/6/2010
Msg: 23
Reposted profile - please review
Posted: 11/14/2010 3:58:45 PM
OP- there are some ladies that will draw conclusions no matter what - you don't want those ladies. Or at least, I'm assuming you don't. If your profile is off putting to them it only serves your purposes.

Everyone wants a relationship that doesn't have baggage from the last one or doesn't have mind games, so it's really superfluous when people say they want to be happy in the new one. Really if they didn't they wouldn't be looking would they?

Certainly there are times when miscommunication happens and things in your profile get misconstrued, but i think the best way to handle that is just explain yourself more rather than changing things completely.

For instance, I'll use the example before with "I don't like traditional dates." Instead of keeping it just like that, try expanding a bit more on it and telling us what kind of "nontraditional" date you'd like. You'll want to focus more on the positive than negative as one.

One last thing, you don't want women to judge you too quickly so I wouldn't write off women who wears heels off. Some women wear them because they are "princess", "divas", and over all high maintenance. Some women only wear them when forced to, like during interviews, and have spare shoes in her car than she puts on immediately as soon as she's finished. Some women wear them just to feel pretty, for herself because wearing frills, makeup and heels is her reaffirming her femininity, but when work needs to get done or it's time to play rough she kicks those suckers off and wear sneakers like a champ. It's good to keep that in mind.

So instead of saying "this kind of person sucks," it's better to say "there's nothing sexier than a woman in converses with a flannel shirt and boyfriend jeans on. double that if she can change the oil and tires on her car all by herself." Just as example.

And whatever you want for "looking for" or expect from this site, just use that. I've got mine set to "friends" and that hasn't stopped "dating" and "long term" people from contacting me. Tha main thing you want to remember is that for the most part, you want to get to the first date and see if things 'click' with you. If you've got chemistry and your date thinks so too that's really all that is important.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 25
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Posted: 11/15/2010 3:12:25 PM
Lots will disagree but the last paragraph you have just above ^^^ is good. It points out a type of women you appreciate. Those that do fuss aren't going to be offended. They've plenty of guys that like the business that takes two hours with the shoes, and the eyelashes, long shower, the best wash, careful eyeliner.

There is nothing wrong with being judgemental. What does not work is being vague and ambiguous in your anti-everything. Just say what you like.

.. and by the way... don't mention the word young. Not once. Get rid of it everywhere. Expunge all of the stodgy/others-have-said giz. I don't want to explain why here. It's sorta like that Field Of Dreams movie. Costner never asked for ball players to show up.

Short notes: less than eight words. Shorten your profile. Get a few more photos from now. Some that show you less than well.

Try.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 26
Reposted profile - please review
Posted: 11/15/2010 3:43:15 PM
can you please also review mine as well please.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 29
Reposted profile - please review
Posted: 11/16/2010 3:27:38 PM
my bad, carry on your majesty.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 31
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Posted: 11/19/2010 4:35:42 PM
Did you get the business about "mind games" and "baggage"? Those drive people away. Clear and simple.

Your last two paragraphs have poorly hidden negatives. If you can't talk about dating, which clearly is not your strong point.. - don't do it. Just talk about your life, what you do, how you have fun. There is no need to discuss dating, your expectations. Maybe just say how you have fun with someone, without all this crap.

DOn't you see that the "Please note that if we like each others profiles I am eager to *meet* up rather than just exchanging creative writing!" is a demand? They don't like those in that type of blah way - they're looking to get comfortable and then maybe meet up. Rather than deal with someone who's posted a lot of demands in their profile about how to meet maybe they'll take those that have expectations but no rules.

Get better pics too. There is competition. They're looking better. Kick those fools to the ground with some decent photos.

You're making something simple hard. A negative stance in your profile does not help. Poor photos, all the same and with bad contrast...why..?

I'm some sort of walrusine bald dude, and chicks answer my notes.. the demographics might be sorta desparate here, - I get the feeling that the goverment offices are 80% women, 10% guys who don't like women... but this should not be so difficult. Stop looking at your troubles as something the women are doing. Its from what you're saying and the pics.
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 32
Reposted profile - please review
Posted: 11/19/2010 6:20:51 PM
Title- Show me the REAL you<--makes her have to guess--distrusting.. horny..the real..you..ok..am I a liar?
I'm a nice guy looking to meet a nice lady for a nice relationship! <--take out this over the top bland line
Pics could be more actiony/outdoorsy...captions are obsequious--try to be witty.
Age--some very well preserved 30 yr olds--you might consider..going up that high.
Run on sentences, abrasive or vague at times:
My background is in science. I aim to work in artistic movement analysis in gymnastics which I coach. I try to learn something new every day.
Good at listening, a witty sense of humour, I like to be around both the young and free-thinking, as well as the insightful and wise. I admire thoughtfulness, creativity, and those with passion for what they do.
I'm spontaneous and open to trying new things such as traveling to interesting places. <--ex?Usually I have more in common with those who set their own values, who think "outside of the box".<--what do you mean?
If you take care of yourself through exercise all the better<-dictaty tone--just ignore the coach taters.
There's no mind games or "baggage" with me. <--folks who say this are suspect

"Subdued melancholy" <--TMI. Any mention of mental disturbance and the mind wanders..leave the bands in, but don't imply Emoness yet=high maintenance.
might summarise my musical taste, at the moment: Amy lee, Aimee Mann, Coldplay, Radiohead, The Fray, acoustic versions, some 80's, some classical. I also like good films particularly science fiction - I like female characters in Ridley Scott movies! You'll find me dressed smart-casual, often black or brown. <--reminds me of a guy I knew with a black and white wardrobe, which mirrored the personality. Does yours?

As a single guy I miss that feminine perspective on things. <Is there one? Elaborate.
In this regard my only expectation is that "femininity" means more to you than 1-dimensional obsessions with glamour - I'm not a Sex In The City fan :)!<--explain this maybe

I'd look forward to going on a date or hanging out together and getting to know each other more informally. Please note that if we like each others profiles I am eager to *meet* up rather than just exchanging creative writing! I look forward to hearing from you.<--pushy prior to hi, does not compute.
First Date
Anywhere we can have a chat. I'm always up for a boat trip on the Thames or visit to an art gallery.
 CynthiaSMW
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 33
Reposted profile - please review
Posted: 11/19/2010 6:50:29 PM

OP- there are some ladies that will draw conclusions no matter what - you don't want those ladies. Or at least, I'm assuming you don't. If your profile is off putting to them it only serves your purposes.

The fact is that EVERYONE draws conclusions based only on their perceptions from the profile. What else do they have to base a decision on? It's an issue if they're drawing the WRONG conclusion because of OP's clumsy writing. Those women MAY have been perfect for him but he'll never know because some profile reviewer said that the writer's intent is more important than the receiver's perception. So he felt all self riteous and left it at that. The End

literally
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 35
Reposted profile - please review
Posted: 11/20/2010 9:36:01 PM
With fresh eyes, I have a few thoughts...

You have a great smile. The one with you in front of the white horizontal blinds is really nice. What's up with the hat these days?

At the risk of getting blasted, your Interests sound uber-feminine. I know, I know, you coach gymnastics. Why not add Coaching as an interest? What about more basic things, like favourite author? tv show? comedian? food or cuisine?

I would also wonder what you're saying in your first contact messages. If you like, use my profile as a test sample and send me a practice message for private comment.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 37
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Posted: 11/21/2010 5:48:23 PM
Sarah's telling you why women in your target group are not responding. She's 18 with unsanded edges, very similar to the girls you are after.

We're not talking about YOU. We have an idea about what you are like from reading this forum. The women are quite positive about lots of what you're saying.

However the profile does not have th3 dynamic qualities your writing has. Its tired and pushy in a dull way. In contrast your forum writing is fiery and mixed up, but it has energy and a sense of hope.

The question is really how to make your profile more like your writing without dropping in a lot of drop dead negatives and red flags.

So, random sentence, "I appreciate women who respect men and who rise above narrow feminine stereotypes of "beauty"."

Urgh.. What the hell does women respecting men even mean? Why do they have to respect us? None respect me. You get respect by demonstrating excellence and dependably (according to The Tao of Steve- but I digress). As for rising above,.. are they balloons, Jesus? and what is this 'narrow stereo types of "beauty"'?

Its a nonsensical sentence. Those can work. I've lots.. but mine don't ask someone to comply to some 'norm' they can't understand.

Instead of what you have maybe try:

"It getting colder. I'm ready for the days below zero. My watercolors are waiting in the hallway. I've a bottle of chemistry alchohol to mix as "water" color. In fifteen minutes or less I mean to paint six of the small bridges in the London area while they're shrouded in ice. May have to get in before 7am. I don't expect it to stay cold for long.

I'm not a watercolor artist. My real life involves artistic gymnastics. Its my background and I instruct. I'm sure most guess we're not all about spinning red ribbons in the air, although that is difficult to coach.

London is proving a complex place. I don't have any haunts. Enjoyed the regular amenities: taking photos of the tuxedo cat in Hammersmith, watching the panthers in Lambeth, killing time shopping for tea in Chinese shops in Camden, but I haven't been to Portbello Road or Soho. I like Hyde Park and the lake."

Get better full length photos. Its just true. Show form. You can't be talking athletic without making that clear.
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