Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 umbrellaman21
Joined: 9/21/2010
Msg: 101
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

I think it's a turn off too - to be honest. Keep in mind I don't date 30 somethings, I avoid them like the plague because most them are so ef'ed up they don't know if they're coming or going - so I mainly date 20 or 40 somethings.


And where did you get this unusual stereotype?

Interesting that you're in your 30's as well.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/19/2010
Msg: 102
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/4/2010 11:04:39 AM
the things that are the dealbreakers to you are legitimate to you. No one else can answer that question but you. First thing you have to ask yourself, are you having any left with some of the more extreme filters, and are you hypocritical yourself (as long as you understand some of your filters will also filter out people who are turned off by them as well).


Everyone has pet peeves, and as long as you don't have like 50 deal breakers (an actual number I know a person has for real), are fair when a person who SAYS they are filtering something makes an exception for you and you give teh rest a fair shake; knock yourself out :)
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 103
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/5/2010 4:40:53 AM

Let's be real here. If a woman OR a man has a age range of 10+ years younger - they're after one of two things... a quick bang or they're immature and don't quite fit in with people their own age and NEED to hunt for younger partners.

I'm immature for my age and I hope I stay that way. I might have to grow old, but I don't have to grow up.
 1eastshore
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 104
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/7/2010 3:12:51 PM
It's ok, everybody has their own likes and dislikes.

My top ten list of 'instant' turn offs are:

1. a photo of them with another woman
2. a cropped photo of them with another woman
3. guys without a shirt on in their main profile photo
4. people who 'work out' x times per week (yawn)
5. immature personality
6. bad spellers
7. people who use words and phrases like 'living life to the fullest' or 'live love laugh'
8. anyone with my ex's first name
9. anyone who resembles my ex
10. my ex


To each their own, but some of the items on this list are nitpicky to me. The women on these photos could be a friend, relative, co-worker etc. # 4 is basically stating that exercising and fitness is important to them. I would hope this poster was just kidding with # 8.
 umbrellaman21
Joined: 9/21/2010
Msg: 105
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/7/2010 3:19:24 PM

I would hope this poster was just kidding with # 8.


Ditto on that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 106
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/7/2010 5:17:19 PM

To each their own, but some of the items on this list are nitpicky to me. The women on these photos could be a friend, relative, co-worker etc. # 4 is basically stating that exercising and fitness is important to them. I would hope this poster was just kidding with # 8.

The point is that is HER particular list of dealbreakers. I'm sure she's fine with the results she gets from that choice. If YOU don't think it's a good idea to follow some of that list, then that's fine since it's not your list...to each their own.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 107
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/7/2010 5:48:10 PM
^^^hear hear! Why can't some folks accept that they are not everyone's cup of tea? Are people that self-centered?

Lots of men are not interested in me - physically or personality-wise. Turning that around to make it "their" fault seems immature and unrealistic. Lamenting on what some strange man on a profile doesn't want in a partner is ridiculous. If you find them too nitpicky, then click "next" or stop dating. Take some real action instead of this p*ssy foot whining.
 1eastshore
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 108
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/7/2010 6:26:32 PM
The point is that is HER particular list of dealbreakers. I'm sure she's fine with the results she gets from that choice. If YOU don't think it's a good idea to follow some of that list, then that's fine since it's not your list...to each their own.



Lots of men are not interested in me - physically or personality-wise. Turning that around to make it "their" fault seems immature and unrealistic. Lamenting on what some strange man on a profile doesn't want in a partner is ridiculous. If you find them too nitpicky, then click "next" or stop dating. Take some real action instead of this p*ssy foot whining.


That's why I said "to each their own". Of course people can have any requirements they want. I would not email some random person to tell them that they are being too picky. However when they list their requirements on a public forum. Especially on a thread about whether some requirements are nitpicky or not. Then I ( or anyone else for that matter ) have every right to state why I would not have these requirements. I don't consider that to be immature or ridiculous.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 109
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/7/2010 7:28:52 PM
^^Agreed. However many men DO tell women on here and in email and in real life that they are too picky. Note that this usually happens right after said woman rejects them
 sweetlikesugarcane
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 110
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/10/2010 5:01:31 PM
I can't believe that something as silly as dressing up a dog would make you pass on what could be an otherwise great woman but to each his own.

There are tons of silly things that would make me pass on a guy.

Some important things that gross me out- bad grammar and spelling.

The most shocking thing is guys who are adults and date 18 year old girls. If the legal age was 13, would he be dating 13 year olds????? I am a pediatrician so I just get reminded of all the child molesters.
 baadtz
Joined: 11/6/2010
Msg: 111
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/10/2010 10:43:59 PM
Instant turn off for me is long hair on a man. Even if they have a great personality and everything was perfect I would friendzone them or ask them to cut it.

it's just an instant turn off. you might as well feed me a pound of salt peter if you are a guy with long hair.

i've never found a long haired man attractive, even movie stars, so i guess it's something i can't really control.
 aliveandwell314
Joined: 10/7/2010
Msg: 112
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/11/2010 12:06:31 AM
Isnt this topic part of most Seinfeld episodes?
 umbrellaman21
Joined: 9/21/2010
Msg: 113
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/11/2010 4:16:57 AM

^^Agreed. However many men DO tell women on here and in email and in real life that they are too picky. Note that this usually happens right after said woman rejects them


Not necessarily, you can sometimes see it in their profiles....I've seen women of 5'4" demand the man they date be 5'10" or 6 feet tall....even though they're small women themselves ....oh,they say that they wear heels (as if heels counted as the part of their height. lol....that's the kicker).

I've known a woman not to date a man based on his type of name (I heard of a dating expert, when she was younger, wouldn't date a man just because his name was Sheldon, lol)

I'm sure men of their irrational reasons for not dating someone, too.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 114
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/11/2010 5:38:12 AM
Who cares? It's obvious to me that when some men do this type of thing, they are ego-centric despite hiding it behind humour. They think, "oh she would be so into me if she wasn't so picky"; "oh she would have a man if she wasn't so picky" So entitled. It ain't all about you. I find some of those things strange too, but what will be will be.

Why do you men care so much about "getting a woman"?!

Because of many things in my life, I am deemed undateable by POF standards - do I consider these men picky? No, I really don't care to be honest. My life does not revolve around getting a relationship.
 1eastshore
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 115
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/11/2010 8:36:36 AM

Not necessarily, you can sometimes see it in their profiles....I've seen women of 5'4" demand the man they date be 5'10" or 6 feet tall....even though they're small women themselves ....oh,they say that they wear heels (as if heels counted as the part of their height. lol....that's the kicker).I've known a woman not to date a man based on his type of name (I heard of a dating expert, when she was younger, wouldn't date a man just because his name was Sheldon, lol) I'm sure men of their irrational reasons for not dating someone, too.


As I mentioned earlier people can have any requirements they want. But if someone would not date me due to eye color, an inch, a year, literally a few extra pounds etc, then I would not want to date someone who is that rigid anyways. Also I wouldn't say someone is too picky just because I didn't meet their requirements. Sometimes having a long list of requirements can be turn off for someone even when (s)he actually meets or exceeds these requirements.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 116
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 12/27/2010 11:09:36 AM
One of the things that turns me off instantly is when I'm looking at some guy's picture and he's close to my age (but I thought he was 10 years older), and he makes a statement in his profile like "people tell me I look 35".

I'd like to have that guy's mirror ...
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 117
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 12/27/2010 11:41:24 AM
Seems every other woman on here thinks she is super 'witty' (as evidenced by their totally non cliched 'insert witty headline here' headline) AND is also a master at the 'sarcasm' that they have been cultivating for who knows how long? Maybe 3 years! Nevermind I could out sarcasm most of them with my left pinky alone. Also many of them are 'brutally' honest (though I wonder if their stance changes when it comes to actual honesty directed at them.) Na I'm confident they can take it! And also don't forget to 'surprise her' on the first date because that's what us guys are here for. Like a clown at a kids party needing to entertain 'the child'.

Let's move on to her 'babies' and by babies I mean her cats. Cats are marvelous and all but if you want to have HUMAN babies and you are pushing 40 you might want to pimp slap yourself to try to awaken some reality within you (if any is left or ever existed) on HOW in the world do you realistically expect to attract a man. Women who are stand off-ish and act as if time is infinite are quite possible going to arrive at destination nowhere with no one.
 mingo88
Joined: 10/12/2010
Msg: 118
view profile
History
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 12/27/2010 11:55:08 AM
the age restrictions are ridiculous. saw a guy's profile on here the other day and i believe he was 45 and his age restriction was 20-40!! yeah good luck with that. like some 20 year old would want his sorry ass, that'll be the day!! unless he is loaded, not sure why a young girl would even look at him. why not have up to age 45 since he is 45?? that is what i don't understand. and why not even go a few years older? why not stop at 47 or 48?? weird!!
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 119
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 12/27/2010 12:51:17 PM
^^^Too funny. What about the balding, paunchy middle-aged dudes who's profiles say they're only interested in slender, athletic women?

 womaninblack
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 120
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 12/27/2010 1:07:27 PM
Hahahaha!

Nothing is the way it seems... that is for sure.

Last night without realizing it I reconnected by "favoriting" a man whose profile I did not recognize, whom I just realized I had politely declined earlier yet last night it seemed so insightful and appealing!

What changed? His profile or my outlook?

One never knows....
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 121
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 12/27/2010 1:08:27 PM

I can't believe that something as silly as dressing up a dog would make you pass on what could be an otherwise great woman but to each his own.

There are tons of silly things that would make me pass on a guy.

Some important things that gross me out- bad grammar and spelling.




So bad grammar and spelling would make YOU pass on what otherwise could be a great man? Or, do you assume he's an idiot because he cant spell? Well, thats how most men feel about women who dress up their dogs.


the age restrictions are ridiculous. saw a guy's profile on here the other day and i believe he was 45 and his age restriction was 20-40!! yeah good luck with that. like some 20 year old would want his sorry ass, that'll be the day!! unless he is loaded, not sure why a young girl would even look at him. why not have up to age 45 since he is 45?? that is what i don't understand. and why not even go a few years older? why not stop at 47 or 48?? weird!!




You'd be surprised just how many young ladies prefer older men. Just so you know....most fellas dont dig women when they've passed their expiration dates.
 mingo88
Joined: 10/12/2010
Msg: 122
view profile
History
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 12/27/2010 1:16:38 PM
WTF is an expiration date?? that's fine because i don't like old farts and don't date them either. i'd rather be a cougar than date an old man. i heard Hugh Hefner just got engaged to a 24 year old and he's 84?? gosh it couldn't have anything to do with him being wealthy now could it?? i'm sure if his name was John Hefner that chick wouldn't have anything to do with him. i guess he is senile and delusional by now.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 123
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 6/17/2011 9:51:54 PM
Hmm, turn offs. . what about the second email someone sends you requesting that you tell them about your love life,why you are still single, and have never married. Then, another time, they ask you when was the last time you kissed a man. By the way, this is all before you've even considered meeting them. Or, they make you feel guilty about getting off the phone, even after you say you have things to do. .and they say, you're getting rid of me already. .and this after an hour long conversation. When you tell them you're no longer interested in meeting, and block them, they still continue to text you.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 124
view profile
History
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 6/17/2011 10:02:27 PM

I can't speak for anybody else but I could never ever get serious with any woman that thinks it's ok to torture a poor defenceless dog. How can you say you love your pet but dress them up so that everytime they leave the house all the other dogs in the neighbourhood is busting their sides laughing at them?


My cat loved torturing poor defenseless dogs! Of course, if I had dressed HIM in a pink outfit, he'd have dedicated his life to making me pay. Every single day. Forever. The way I see it, dogs have no self-respect. They let people do that to them. So they deserve it
 SunnyDazical
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 125
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 6/17/2011 10:59:42 PM
I think everyone has 'deal breakers'...I'll share one of mine...if I go out to dinner with a guy..and he's rude to the waiter/waitress...it really bugs me...when I'm 'seeing' a guy I take note of how he treats others, not just me...


Pass the sugah...sugah,
Sunny
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking