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 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 158
Dumped again I cant take much more.Page 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
The fact remains; a person's bodyweight is very a personal issue. Despite the fact that it's true that the obesity epidemic is a huge public health issue, commenting on an individual's body - unless you're their healthcare practitioner or family member is simply no one else's business and has NO right to preach about not having confidence. This thread was about Drew being 'dumped' and not about his self fortitude/weight.

Some people on POF feel they must 'evince' themselves by simply indefatigabley bleating on and on about a persons' weight and NOT the topic at hand. Must be nice having to be 'right' all the time. I wonder what it's like...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 159
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/7/2010 1:57:32 AM
Who has reading problems? I'm not 19...my longest relationship was 19 years to your 3.

And what I'm taking issue with specifically is donald's quote of what was said! His quote is made up!


As for offering advice....if Drew didn't want feedback or opinions he should not have created a thread....as whiny as it was, of course people are going to suggest toughening up...or should we all have just joined the pity party?
 Butterflygrl007
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 160
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/7/2010 3:09:26 AM
curly girl I think I am going to take your advice..
 vlgaqppf
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 161
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/7/2010 3:53:48 PM
hang in there and work on your self esteem a little...youll be fine
 KissMyKarma
Joined: 9/9/2010
Msg: 162
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/7/2010 6:39:42 PM
I'm quite concerned.
This is the 5th post I've read where one party is left flaying in the wind with a broken heart after an extremely short amount of time.

I think we need to have a new post - Why do people emotionally invest everything after a few dates? And what to do about it.

Now to your post Drew.
Gosh, I'm sorry. Maybe let this be a sort of learning lesson.
There are a myrid of issues that need to be discovered about a potential partner.
Yes, sexual attraction is one. Thank goodness she let you know. You're actually very lucky in this regard. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are.
Don't you just hate not being the sexiest, best communicator, most polite, best mannered, most understanding person to everyone in the world? I know I'm not fond of it...

What I think you're doing is being in Love with the idea of being in Love.
Yes, you want a relationship. But there's steps. And there's no telling how many steps you'll get through. 3? 28? 1,489?
True happiness does not come from someone else.

There is no guarantee that you will meet someone. Do you deserve to? Yes. But there's no "for sure" around these parts.
So, what will become of your happiness then? Will you spend your life in a continium of sadness? Only to die one day cursing yourself for forgetting to enjoy where you were?
I think the answer lies in turning your focus on you.
Getting yourself happy. Or happy enough maybe.
That way you can weather the storms of this love stuff.

And by the way - we girls are known for having tools for dealing with disappointment. Try a little chocolate, a good drink, a good cry, or a long 100 mile bike ride in a hurricane. And try to protect your heart a little more next time.
 TravelingLight
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 163
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/7/2010 9:26:20 PM
Ok, jco sorry, your poor grammar got me..



WELL Travelinglight. I'd say I have more business giving dating advice than you...your 47 and have only been in a 3 year relationship... I'm at 19 and four....so...


-It's you're
-And you assumed that I had only been in 1 relationship? That thing you read on the profile, means the longest relationship you were in not the the number of them..

now that's poor comprehension.

And if after all these years of relating you still don't get that people are not to always be treated roughly, I don't think you've learned much in that department.
 Simon4567
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 164
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/7/2010 9:33:41 PM
this is getting good

*eats popcorn*
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 165
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/7/2010 11:17:33 PM
Lol...travel...yes, my phone changes words on me and I often miss the changes...it should have read: you're.

Interesting that you scoffed at me when you thought I was 19...you thought a three years relationship was inadequate...now that you realize I was referring to your LONGEST having been three years, suddenly its a different story.

Still no one has shown where Donald pulled that quote from....oh yeah, that's right....he pulled it from his....

You can coddle all you want, personally, I'd rather my friends b!tch slap me if I start whining....

Drew....did anyone cause you duress? Or...when you look back, do you appreciate that a little sting woke you up to getting on track? Heavy or not.... confidence and a backbone are more attractive than being wimpy.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 166
Dumped again I can't take much more.
Posted: 11/7/2010 11:24:57 PM
Has it struck anyone else that this hasn't been about the OP at all, for quite some time now?

Or is that just me?
 TravelingLight
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 167
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/8/2010 12:21:47 AM
Interesting that you scoffed at me when you thought I was 19...you thought a three years relationship was inadequate...now that you realize I was referring to your LONGEST having been three years, suddenly its a different story.


WHAT????? What are you talking about? You don't understand a word you read...
(now that I realize you were referring bla, bla, bla? WTF? How idiotic) That's not what I said...

And the quote in question is now post #93 ever since posts were deleted. It's not Donald it's someone else.
And I remember how diesel and a few others did say things like that. Denying won't change anything.

Anyway, I'm through with you. You're evidently not interested in being honest about this (or you really have reading comprehension issues, if I go by how you interpreted my profile...and answer a number of things I said).

If I were you I'd stop arguing and being such an ass and demonstrate some honesty.
Let people teach you a thing or two

I'm not going to go on any longer, we ARE taking too much space on this thread.

cheers
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 168
Dumped again I can't take much more.
Posted: 11/8/2010 12:49:39 AM

I'm not going to go on any longer, we ARE taking too much space on this thread.

Gee, ya think? I saw Avatar for the first time the other day. That is more relevant than your personal crap-fest.

The OP is a decent man who got hurt, and needed an outlet. He came here for that.

And largely, we have betrayed him. We have not been good listeners.

We could all do a lot better with that.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 169
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/8/2010 12:51:46 AM
Umm...NO... the quote in question is justdonald's made-up quote in post 145:




2) You are a big fat pitiful slob who pees in his pants. Lose the pity party, axxhole. and your photo is not so great so you need to do something about that. Stop being a a crybaby.


He made this up to make his argument....this was never said!

Now everyone is crying about some posters telling Drew to lose weight....yeah, and?
The man created a pity party thread...I'm surprised it wasn't immediately deleted as such!
Since it did survive...one could only expect a 42 year old man to get some straight up man-up type comments.

If you can't take that... don't post a pity thread!

Funniest thing is out of all of this is the one thing Drew himself has chosen to address is his recent weight loss...So maybe his feelings got a bit hurt by some of the delivery...it certainly seems like he agrees and has decided to take that advice and initiative.

Kudos Drew... now just learn to be more confident and a bit less oversensitive and you won't get hurt like that so quickly again.

 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 170
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/8/2010 9:44:33 PM
Hmm, like Jco speaks for all men. The other posts from men were alot nicer from more mature men might I say. I do expect your response to be from a typical 20 yr old.
 TravelingLight
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 171
Dumped again I can't take much more.
Posted: 11/8/2010 10:23:26 PM

Gee, ya think? I saw Avatar for the first time the other day. That is more relevant than your personal crap-fest.


I already answered Drew, in the beginning and along the way a little controversy developed over how his post was treated. Several of us jumped to his defense. It may have gone on a bit longer than it should, but those things are bound to happen, since many of us wanted to help him and found that some posts were hurtful or offensive.

The crap-fest as you call it may not entirely have been necessary but sometimes we have to make an attempt to explain something to someone.
Perhaps it went on one or two posts too many -on my part and jco's

Sorry about that...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 173
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/9/2010 7:43:15 PM
The reason there are threads started years ago by an OP who is long gone and the thread gets restarted with a different flavor is due to the idiotic policy of of the forum Nazi's to not start similar threads...you are stuck adding to the back of a 23 page old thread.

Maybe not the case here...

As for THIS thread goes its a matter of opinion as to what harsh is... its a matter of FACT that justdonald MADE UP a quote in order to illustrate that people were being harsh... when it didn't happen.
 packard77
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 174
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/9/2010 9:50:39 PM
..she stayed a whole weekend..and nothing happened? Dude, she must be thinking you are gay! Me thinking same too. :)

If a person decides to spend a whole weekend with you - that tells me "it is NOT too soon". How many women here would spend a whole weekend with you when they just met you? Or didnt know and trust you well enough?
 PersistentLight
Joined: 12/17/2010
Msg: 175
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 12/26/2010 12:57:01 PM
You took the words right out of my mouth, the most intelligent response of all these wanna be Doctor Phil’s. Read what OP wrote the girl was all over him, what’s he supposed to think? The exact same thing happened to me three dates and dumped! She was sucking my face made the first moves from the second date to the third date holding my hand at every opportunity. I’m very confident, athletic, I run my own successful business and have a very full life, and I still got caught, it happens. She’s very insecure and is acting like a little high school kid. Karma will give her what she deserves. Big****teaser scumbag!
 Twilightslove
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 176
view profile
History
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 12/26/2010 1:57:09 PM

Since i split from my partner in jan of this year, ive dated 4 times.


It takes time to get over a relationship that has ended. Perhaps you are over it and perhaps you really aren't over it yet. If you have only dated four different women since the breakup then you haven't really experienced a lot yet.


the last woman i met 3 times and she was so special to me.


It is nice to know that you were really starting to like this woman although three dates isn't a long time to develop enough feelings for another person that you should feel so hurt if things don't work out. That isn't to discount your feelings, that is simply to say that you haven't had enough time to really know her.


She stayed over last weekend, we didnt have sex as it was too soon for both parties but we did have fun and it was a lovely night with candlelight brought by her, we kissed and cuddled on the couch watch movies all night. But today she txt`d saying she didnt have any romantic feelings for me, dont get me wrong she was very nice about it. But im crushed i feel im going to be more anxious over the time i`ll be out with anyone.


She seemed to be taking quite the initiative in the romance department. Perhaps she had hopes of it turning into sex even though you feel that it was too soon for both of you. If that was her thoughts then that might be why she txt'd you to say she didn't have any romantic feelings for you. I could be wrong, but normally when someone if going to spend an entire weekend with a potential partner and they bring candles to romance you they are hoping for more than just the cuddling.


Im 42 this month and i have alot to give but i feel like i just cant do this anymore to much hurt.Im sorry all this is just self pitty if im honest but im so hurt as i was falling for her.


This makes me believe that you are not over your last relationship and that you are putting too much emphasis on someone else defining your happiness instead of creating your own happiness first. Give yourself a big hug and time to heal then get out there and discover who you really are. You still have time to fall in love with yourself first then once you have others will see you as you wish to be seen.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 177
view profile
History
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 12/26/2010 3:09:55 PM
Hey..look..a pity party, yeah baby!! Woohhhooo..where's the whine?

Let me get this straight..you had a girl spend the weekend with you, cuddling, kissing, and then she tells you that she has no feelings for you, and you come on here and start this whiney azz post about being dumped again? Me thinks you were looking for some reason to tell the world how much of a victim you ARE..AGAIN.

Son, do you know where your ballz are?

When you find them, put them back where they belong. Secondly, go look in the closet for that backbone that fell out. Get your life back together.

Do you feel like a victim? (looking for a box of tissues to throw at you..geezz) If you do..and if and when you want to stop being a self made victim..that'd be really cool. Cuz then you can move on with your life.

Here's the deal son..you got two choices..all yours to make, all by yourself.
1. Mope and whine about what could have been, how you were dumped, mean people suck..blah, blah, blah.. OR..
2. Choose to stand up, move on, and enjoy what little time you have left. You know why? Cuz time here on earth is dayum short. And, you will have more disappointments coming, some will hit you harder then you think are getting hit now with. You had better prepare yourself by GROWING UP.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 178
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 12/26/2010 3:26:04 PM
^^^^That reads oddly like the speech my Mother gave me upon my first broken heart and? I still think it's the biggest crock of shiit I've ever heard (and now read, yet again.) Being hurt is a sign of a human being with feelings. Without those? Balls really mean very little. (And that's just how I personally feel about your take on this.)

~OT~ Being dumped just sucks. Doesn't really matter if it's been a couple of dates or years ~ the hurt just comes in varying degrees. The thing to do? Pick yourself up and remember that the person who chooses to leave you is doing so for their own reasons, not always because of you. We'll all do some leaving and we'll all be left ~ doesn't matter which side of that fence we're on, if we're decent people ~ it'll hurt a tad from either side. But we get up and go and and try again, hopefully making better choices each time we go through it. Happy holiday OP! JMO
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 179
view profile
History
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 12/26/2010 4:16:09 PM

I still think it's the biggest crock of shiit I've ever heard (and now read, yet again.) Being hurt is a sign of a human being with feelings. Without those? Balls really mean very little. (And that's just how I personally feel about your take on this.) (I can't find the little guy thingie there..sorry)


You're missing the whole point..once you get kicked in the balls (emotionally hurt), how long are you going to stay hurt? That IS the point. You know..life sucks sometimes, but to wallow in self pity, woe is me, only erodes your self-esteem.

You don't think anyone else hasn't been emotionally hurt?

And the choices are..you get over it, meaning you go find your ballz, and you get your shiit together (finding your backbone..sorry male euphemisms you know), and you move on.

Enough with the pity posts..they do no good but allow the pity party to go on longer then necessary.

And the deal with giving up..if you are going to give up..then just frickin do it..why post it, unless you want someone to pat you on the head and say; Now now.."

Respecting your individual opinion, you have to look behind what is being said by my post.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 180
view profile
History
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 12/26/2010 5:09:21 PM

The reason there are threads started years ago by an OP who is long gone and the thread gets restarted with a different flavor is due to the idiotic policy of of the forum Nazi's to not start similar threads...you are stuck adding to the back of a 23 page old thread.

Maybe not the case here...

As for THIS thread goes its a matter of opinion as to what harsh is... its a matter of FACT that justdonald MADE UP a quote in order to illustrate that people were being harsh... when it didn't happen.

Considering that this thread began November 1 of this year, and the OP deleted his profile within a month, maybe you could rethink your definition of harsh? I read quite a bit of the beginning, and I certainly thought it was harsh. According to what the OP said, he'd lost ~60lbs, but that didn't stop all the weight bashing, nope, no one was interested in his success, just in telling him what a wimp he was for whining and to stop feeling sorry for himself.

Gee, a real live man who actually admits he has feelings... can't let him get away with that. Next thing you know, women might start expecting other guys to have emotions once in awhile, too.
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 181
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 12/26/2010 5:15:11 PM
^^^agreed.

Some of those posts were harsh and totally unsympathetic. Almost as if the guy should feel ashamed for even expressing how bad he felt. It seems some posts were erased too, they were too insulting?
He probably wanted a bit of sympathy, not just told he was a whiner. When you're hurt and having a tough time it's not too much to ask.
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 182
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 12/28/2010 3:48:55 AM
Oh come on Drew, you have to at least take one more for the gipper. Me and Ronald Reagan will both be proud of you. Forty two, you're just a kid. I am 50 already and don't plan to do anymore dating for a couple years.
 Ma-che-fai-tu
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 183
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 12/28/2010 6:38:06 AM
It's not how many times you get knocked down. It's how many times you pick yourself up that counts. I've been dumped before ( who hasn't) . Players come in both sexes ( yes we guys are guilty as well). I was nearly emotionally crushed twice yet still found the strength to start over ,pick up the pieces and enjoy my life. Being single is not necessarily a burden.
We all want someone and we have needs, just don't complain when you know you hook up with the wrong type of people.
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