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 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 75
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you? Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Free coffee at Bojangles, low cost auto insurance , senior citizen discounts and social security.....everything else sucks.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 76
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/27/2010 7:11:44 AM
You know, I was thinking today (I do that now and then, lol), and it came to me that an awful lot of the men in my long life have had beards.

And my head has always turned towards a man with a beard.

It turns every which way towards men, (haha, not like in that movie! no green stuff spewing), but the eyes sort of linger on a bearded man.

So maybe my answer isn't completely "character".. maybe I should amend it to "character that matches mine, plus a beard"!
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 77
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/27/2010 10:24:00 AM
reading your post, Lady Purple ... (you're too young to be "old") ...

I realized that the vast majority of the men I've dated seriously have had moustaches ... but rarely full-on beards!

I've never thought about that before ... I think it started when I realized that guys with facial hair were actually older (more mature, more exciting) than the high school boys I'd dated earlier ... and I've equated facial hair with maturity since then!

funny ...
 satx78218
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 78
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/27/2010 10:53:46 AM
"Testosterone levels may someday drop, but the fundamentals of their personality won't. "

not sure about "fundamentals", but testosterone levels certainly affect a man's emotions, mental energy, mentality, just like estrogen levels affect women.

eg, when men with prostate cancer get androgen blockade therapy/chemical castration,

bad news: there are no erections, no libido (plus muscle weakness, loss of muscle mass, bone loss, elevated risk for cardiovascular disease),

good news: you don't care. :)

Hormones of all types are so damn powerful, it's almost miraculous.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 79
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/2/2010 12:56:19 AM
I used to get (undoubtedly artificial) testosterone and estrogen in some lovely little pills a very long time ago ... a form of birth control ...

when the doctor decreased the estrogen, I didn't even notice ... or care!

but when she cut off the testosterone ... I did NOT like that! my personality changed! I became all sweet and nice and soft and fluffy ... euuuu ... that's NOTHING like the "real" me at all! and she wouldn't give me back the meds ... (those drugs were suspected of causing cancer or blindness or anal leakage or hangnails or something you really don't want) ...

so I'd lost my edge ... I'm stuck being all soft and sweet and loveable ... yuk ...

haven't had those lovely little pills in a very long time ... so I've had to "wing it" on my own ... without my prescription assistance!

but I realized then that some of the qualities I admired in the men I was attracted to at that time ... the big lumpy muscles ... the square jaws ... the assertiveness ... bravery ...

all that stuff probably had a lot more to do with their testosterone levels than anyone would care to admit ... (especially me!)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 80
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/2/2010 5:41:31 AM

all that stuff probably had a lot more to do with their testosterone levels than anyone would care to admit ...


Really!!!

I long ago realized that the constant voice in my brain relentlessly urging me to try to develop closer relationships with women in spite of my better judgment was a direct result of testosterone. As far as I can tell, women suffer the same complaint due to their hormones. Its always been pretty obvious to me that intellect has little to do with the male/female bonding process.

Mind you, we do spend an inordinate amount of time and energy rationalizing the decisions we are driven to make by bodily chemicals. Lots of intellect applied there justifying why this one or that one is either suitable or unsuitable. Mostly, however, I find the logic I see applied there to be badly distorted, again by those same chemicals....
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 81
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/2/2010 6:07:33 AM

Most of the ladies responses are regarding a man's charater.


What people say and what they do are often two entirely different breeds of cat. In fact, asking people what they think seldom produces usable information on what they will actually do.

No matter the age of the woman, no matter the age of the man, in the end they seem to always, always, always select for "good breeding genes", if they want a relationship. That's as predictable at age 60 as it is at age 20.

And "good breeding genes" is physical, including health and voice. The more masculine the appearance and sound of a man, the more feminine the appearance and sound of a woman, the more likely they are to meet someone interested in them.

Character comes third to good breeding genes, and second to implied availability.

Lots and lots and lots of divorced people (men and women) complain bitterly about their wretched ex-spouse, but no one complains about their kids, half of whose genes came from that wretched ex-spouse. And, the wretched ex-spouse was in fact available to them, as witness the existence of their children.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 82
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/2/2010 8:15:16 AM

What people say and what they do are often two entirely different breeds of cat. In fact, asking people what they think seldom produces usable information on what they will actually do.

No matter the age of the woman, no matter the age of the man, in the end they seem to always, always, always select for "good breeding genes", if they want a relationship. That's as predictable at age 60 as it is at age 20.

And "good breeding genes" is physical, including health and voice. The more masculine the appearance and sound of a man, the more feminine the appearance and sound of a woman, the more likely they are to meet someone interested in them.

Character comes third to good breeding genes, and second to implied availability.

Lots and lots and lots of divorced people (men and women) complain bitterly about their wretched ex-spouse, but no one complains about their kids, half of whose genes came from that wretched ex-spouse. And, the wretched ex-spouse was in fact available to them, as witness the existence of their children.

There are times I wonder if I live on the same planet. It has always, ALWAYS, been about character for me, first and foremost. What I say/have said correlates directly to what I do/have done. A consistent track record usually provides viable information on what one is likely to do again.

"Good breeding genes" implies much, much more than the merely physical. Appearance and health, etc, are fringe benefits, not the be-all end-all. It doesn't have much to do with 'implied availability,' whatever that means. One is available or one isn't, there's nothing implied about it. And anyone who makes him/herself available for procreation without being socially available - well, that goes back to character again, which makes character the more important of the two.

While I do have some preferences regarding physical appearance, they are just that -preferences. Primarily it's for one type over another, not because of anything related to hormones, but because I was beaten and raped by a first class example of one type, and it takes me longer to warm up to even a friendship with a man of that type. But it doesn't/hasn't excluded him from more than just friendship, either.

I also don't waste much time or energy complaining about my kids' father. That's because, with all his flaws, he is their father, and while we weren't all that great for each other, he was a good father. And because of that, I do maintain minimal contact with him for their sake, and have since we parted ways 30 years ago.

And most emphatically yes, people DO complain about their kids. The thing is, in the first place parents are the ones most responsible for the kind of people their children became - what's the point in complaining about something you created? In the second place, parents - most parents, anyway - love their children and will tolerate and/or excuse behavior in their children that no one who isn't related would ever get away with.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 83
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/2/2010 8:57:38 AM

"Good breeding genes" implies much, much more than the merely physical.


No, it doesn't.


It doesn't have much to do with 'implied availability,' whatever that means. One is available or one isn't, there's nothing implied about it.


"Implied availability" means a particular individual is likely to be sexually available to another _particular_ individual. Person A/B can be extremely interested in "consumating their friendship" with quite a number of people types, BUT still not be available to Person C/D. Fact is, most people are NOT interested in most every one else. Indeed, for most Persons C/D, if _they_ do not sense an "implied availability, Person C/D's lose interest in Person A/B. It is widely understood that women are selective. Men are equally selective (listen to them talk in the locker room), although "commonly" it is stated (by some, not all) that men "think with their johnson". Men most certainly do want, but even more certainly they don't hardly want just any woman.



And anyone who makes him/herself available for procreation ...


The term "implied availability" MEANS sexual availability

Ever been on a college campus in the spring time? Ever been in a singles bar on a Friday evening? Ever see women -- single or otherwise -- in a warm water resort far, far from home? Ever see a woman mid ovulation cycle when a muscular man with a deep voice walks by?



without being socially available ...


Anyone not socially availability nevers gets a chance to procreate.



....- well, that goes back to character again, which makes character the more important of the two.


No one doubts the sincerity of a woman (or man) who states that "character" is most important. No one. However ...

... what people say is not all that closely related to what they actually do.

Masculine finds feminine attractive; Feminine finds mascular attractive. At age 20, at age 60. Everything else is chatter. Sincere chatter, perhaps, yet still just chatter. It's what people do which is important, not what they say they intend to do, nor what varnish they use to gloss up prior behavior.
 jackfouru
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 84
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/2/2010 1:15:32 PM
I agree with you Wayward. Many if not most of women are totally full of sh*t, and all of us guys learned that at a very young age. They way they want guys to be "nice", which means not too nice or you are not masculine enough. They want character, but neglect to mention only if it goes along with physical attractiveness. They want to be their own people, but secretly yearn to be taken care of. They want sensitivity but not too much . . that masculine thing again. They claim that money and status is not important, and yet they almost always will choose the higher earning higher status guy they can find over a not so high earning, low status guy. It doesn't matter whether the low status guy is a nice guy or even intelligent, nor does it matter whether he loves the woman more than she could ever be hoped to be loved by another guy. Its all about what he brings to the table and whether the woman concludes she can do better. Its all about whether she believes the guy on her arm makes her look good to her friends. Before anybody concludes that this is sour grapes on my part . . believe me its not. I have been very, very fortunate throughout my life in the women department, but I also recognize the truth and the facts as they are.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 85
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/2/2010 1:25:59 PM
Say, please don't put words in my mouth. I said no such thing as anyone "being full of sh*t".

What I _DID_ say was that _people_ -- women are people, men are people -- often say they want such and such, but then do something rather different.

That is not exactly unknown news. Plain and simple _people_ say what they think they _should_ say (and even believe it much of the time) but they do what they want to deep in their hearts.

Attraction and involvement of partners in a male/female relationship is at base a biological one. Therefore, not surprising at all, biological traits are used to effect the meeting of two people and the development of their relationship.
 jackfouru
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 86
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/2/2010 1:52:55 PM
Fine, but I meant to say what I said and I stand by it.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 87
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/2/2010 5:38:18 PM
That is not exactly unknown news. Plain and simple _people_ say what they think they _should_ say (and even believe it much of the time) but they do what they want to deep in their hearts.

Attraction and involvement of partners in a male/female relationship is at base a biological one. Therefore, not surprising at all, biological traits are used to effect the meeting of two people and the development of their relationship.

I'd sure agree with that, and yes, it seems to me that the idea we're really "in control" all the time is just an illusion. By and large, folks seem to pretty much do whatever their feelings tell them (or they can get away with), and then they "explain" the reasons to themselves later. "Why Officer, was I really speeding...?!"

For example as far as "relationships", I can personally think of several dozen excellent reasons why I shouldn't be hanging out with the gal I'm seeing now (among other things, she's an unbelievable fuss-budget about everything, from food to films)! But she's also pretty dam cute, and so I continue to find ever-more "creative" ways to rationalize (...yeah, guess I'm shallow like that, sue me)!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 90
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/3/2010 7:21:18 AM

One day, when you are tired of rationalizing and become more rational


Would you not do more rationalizing if you became more rational? On the other hand, you can't really rationalize if you are not rational!

I am puzzled....
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 91
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/3/2010 10:25:11 AM

I am puzzled....

About which part... you mean being "rational"?!! ;-p
 Email Tom Now
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 92
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/3/2010 5:13:33 PM
msg 80
"it came to me that an awful lot of the men in my long life have had beards.

And my head has always turned towards a man with a beard. "




i'll never grow a beard.

why cultivate something on your face that grows wild on your ass?
 Email Tom Now
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 94
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/4/2010 9:11:08 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

i won't shave.....

i'll use Ruby Waxxxxxx

waxing is better than shaving right Ruby?
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 96
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/5/2010 12:52:39 PM
To tell the truth, not much anymore. With all the goofy trends, STDs, religions, causes, political stands and superficial ideals, I'm amazed at the one out of a thousand that manage to get on the same page these days.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 100
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/12/2010 1:24:09 AM
^^^Don't believe her Heman....that's my ex. What's the address on her cardboard box, she left her photo album here.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 104
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/13/2010 7:31:35 AM
Normally, the issue of intelligence does not come up in any direct way. If I can hold a conversation with someone, and they with me, then its quite likely that the person is intelligent and also finds me to be so.

Rather than say that intelligent people are attractive to me, I view the situation as being that I can't hold a conversation with someone who can't hold one with me. That may be because they are in fact not intelligent enough, but there are many other reasons that could be in play, such as they are way more intelligent than me, or their interests and mine are not at all congruent.

Really, how many really stupid people does one normally run into in life, unless by profession? Most people in a given socio-economic class are pretty much the same level of intelligence, otherwise, they would be in a different class.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 106
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Posted: 12/19/2010 3:30:23 PM
I am 62. But became a "mom" at 50, so I do things backwards. You know, I've never been fussy about who I dated, as long as "presentable". I've dated all ethnic groups, a range of intelligence scores, different personalities, different heights-- and "love handles" are the least of my concerns.

Having said that, out of the blue, a man found me who I can only describe as my childhood fantasy--just a little older. He's 6 years younger than me, but he will always be attractive to me and I believe could also have been older and I would still be smitten.

The chemistry is not just physical, although it is very physical--but what cinches the deal is the psyche, what we both believe is important, what we both want and someone I can laugh hilariously and raucously with until the sun comes up. He looks after me and I look after him. We can both be very childlike with each other, both having had to deal with more than our share of "adult" issues.

So, pinch me. I must be dreaming.

Looking back, I'd say give everyone a chance--just make sure that you too are given a chance. It will happen, if you want it to happen, maybe not when you want it to happen. So, don't give up and when you "least suspect" : whammo!

I consider myself pretty socially savvy, but when I first met him, I was a nervous wreck. He thought it was cute.

Yes, I fear that it might all be taken from me, as it's too good to be true. But,I've always been a risk taker in business, so why not in love? I just make sure mine are educated risks. Way too many people are too complacent or just too fearful or wounded.

ps I had a college reading score in third grade, but failed my IQ test. It bored me, so I did eenie meenie miny mo to get out of school early. Was in college at 16, could have been 15 but my mom was afraid I could not handle the social life. Despite that, back then all my friends were older. Fact is most high IQ folks, have difficulty with social skills or are missing "something". I believe you need a balance. You each bring different pluses to the table. Otherwise, you're just caught up in "cognitive dissonance" and use it as an excuse--assuming you "really" want to meet a mate.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 107
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/23/2010 4:54:39 PM

Some of the young ones here (under 60) seem to think that wrinkles and weight (comes with age) has something to do with what is or is not attractive. Since when did specific physical attributes become a standard for what is attractive? Yes there is a concept of ‘what is pretty’, but what the hell does that have to do with attractive in searching for a significant other? The egotistical ‘pretty person’ is not attractive to me. Is it attractive to you?


My last date was quite pretty, but after she suggested to go on a trip to Vegas because she likes to swim in the ocean, I'm longing for a woman more cognisant of geography.
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 108
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/23/2010 5:04:31 PM
^awwww, don't be too harsh on the lady.
the reality of vegas is the fantasy it entails.

after all there is lots of water in all those fountains,
and you're only a few hours away from the beautiful pacific...
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 109
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/23/2010 5:08:14 PM


^awwww, don't be too harsh on the lady.
the reality of vegas is the fantasy it entails.
after all there is lots of water in all those fountains,
and you're only a few hours away from the beautiful pacific...


That must have been what she was thinking.
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 110
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/24/2010 6:59:08 PM
a man who will take me shopping at the boxing day sales!...
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