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 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 100
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you? Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
^^^Don't believe her Heman....that's my ex. What's the address on her cardboard box, she left her photo album here.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 104
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/13/2010 7:31:35 AM
Normally, the issue of intelligence does not come up in any direct way. If I can hold a conversation with someone, and they with me, then its quite likely that the person is intelligent and also finds me to be so.

Rather than say that intelligent people are attractive to me, I view the situation as being that I can't hold a conversation with someone who can't hold one with me. That may be because they are in fact not intelligent enough, but there are many other reasons that could be in play, such as they are way more intelligent than me, or their interests and mine are not at all congruent.

Really, how many really stupid people does one normally run into in life, unless by profession? Most people in a given socio-economic class are pretty much the same level of intelligence, otherwise, they would be in a different class.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 106
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Posted: 12/19/2010 3:30:23 PM
I am 62. But became a "mom" at 50, so I do things backwards. You know, I've never been fussy about who I dated, as long as "presentable". I've dated all ethnic groups, a range of intelligence scores, different personalities, different heights-- and "love handles" are the least of my concerns.

Having said that, out of the blue, a man found me who I can only describe as my childhood fantasy--just a little older. He's 6 years younger than me, but he will always be attractive to me and I believe could also have been older and I would still be smitten.

The chemistry is not just physical, although it is very physical--but what cinches the deal is the psyche, what we both believe is important, what we both want and someone I can laugh hilariously and raucously with until the sun comes up. He looks after me and I look after him. We can both be very childlike with each other, both having had to deal with more than our share of "adult" issues.

So, pinch me. I must be dreaming.

Looking back, I'd say give everyone a chance--just make sure that you too are given a chance. It will happen, if you want it to happen, maybe not when you want it to happen. So, don't give up and when you "least suspect" : whammo!

I consider myself pretty socially savvy, but when I first met him, I was a nervous wreck. He thought it was cute.

Yes, I fear that it might all be taken from me, as it's too good to be true. But,I've always been a risk taker in business, so why not in love? I just make sure mine are educated risks. Way too many people are too complacent or just too fearful or wounded.

ps I had a college reading score in third grade, but failed my IQ test. It bored me, so I did eenie meenie miny mo to get out of school early. Was in college at 16, could have been 15 but my mom was afraid I could not handle the social life. Despite that, back then all my friends were older. Fact is most high IQ folks, have difficulty with social skills or are missing "something". I believe you need a balance. You each bring different pluses to the table. Otherwise, you're just caught up in "cognitive dissonance" and use it as an excuse--assuming you "really" want to meet a mate.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 107
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/23/2010 4:54:39 PM

Some of the young ones here (under 60) seem to think that wrinkles and weight (comes with age) has something to do with what is or is not attractive. Since when did specific physical attributes become a standard for what is attractive? Yes there is a concept of ‘what is pretty’, but what the hell does that have to do with attractive in searching for a significant other? The egotistical ‘pretty person’ is not attractive to me. Is it attractive to you?


My last date was quite pretty, but after she suggested to go on a trip to Vegas because she likes to swim in the ocean, I'm longing for a woman more cognisant of geography.
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 108
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/23/2010 5:04:31 PM
^awwww, don't be too harsh on the lady.
the reality of vegas is the fantasy it entails.

after all there is lots of water in all those fountains,
and you're only a few hours away from the beautiful pacific...
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 109
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/23/2010 5:08:14 PM


^awwww, don't be too harsh on the lady.
the reality of vegas is the fantasy it entails.
after all there is lots of water in all those fountains,
and you're only a few hours away from the beautiful pacific...


That must have been what she was thinking.
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 110
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/24/2010 6:59:08 PM
a man who will take me shopping at the boxing day sales!...
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 111
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/25/2010 2:47:13 PM
I used to get (undoubtedly artificial) testosterone and estrogen in some lovely little pills a very long time ago ... a form of birth control ...

when the doctor decreased the estrogen, I didn't even notice ... or care!

but when she cut off the testosterone ... I did NOT like that! my personality changed! I became all sweet and nice and soft and fluffy ... euuuu ... that's NOTHING like the "real" me at all! and she wouldn't give me back the meds ... (those drugs were suspected of causing cancer or blindness or anal leakage or hangnails or something you really don't want) ...

so I'd lost my edge ... I'm stuck being all soft and sweet and loveable ... yuk ...

haven't had those lovely little pills in a very long time ... so I've had to "wing it" on my own ... without my prescription assistance!

but I realized then that some of the qualities I admired in the men I was attracted to at that time ... the big lumpy muscles ... the square jaws ... the assertiveness ... bravery ...

all that stuff probably had a lot more to do with their testosterone levels than anyone would care to admit ... (especially me!)


Testosterone doesn't determine a man's personality but it does effect his aggressivenes, muscle build and bravery. Notice that as men age they become less aggressive, have less muscle mass and arn't so quick to stand up to the bully. Give them testosterone replcaement and the younger man will resurface. Along with his aggressiveness and performance in the bedroom.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 112
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/26/2010 1:40:14 AM
^^^^Oh goodness, I'm off track again. Thinking about my younger years and how the girls liked my cars......I ordered a chrome plated walker and a wheel chair with white letter tires and mag wheels.
 LovToSail
Joined: 1/9/2010
Msg: 113
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/30/2010 7:19:09 PM
Try Agan, sounds like your date either has no common sense, or possibly isn't too endowed in brain matter:) Keep trying, you're a very attractive man and someone will appear for you. I'm still trying to understand the young guys too...I continue to ignore them; don't wish to waste my time or theirs.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 114
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/30/2010 9:08:06 PM
^^^
Thank you for the encouragement. Maybe she just had a bad day. Or maybe she thought that with all that sand around Vegas a large beach erection is imminent.

Just between you and me, I don't know how long I can keep trying. It is very trying, especialy only one day before New Year. Now it looks like I won't get married in 2010 after all. But I could be tricked into checking this forum next year again. Maybe some new lady sailors will test the waters in 2011.

Anyway, here is a tip for you - don't waste time on younger guys, they are still trying to make up their mind. Try some mature guys instead, they know what they want and tell you that on first meet. Or if they won't tell you anything, you'll still know, that they had something else on their mind.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 115
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/30/2010 10:58:26 PM

Just between you and me, I don't know how long I can keep trying. It is very trying, especialy only one day before New Year. Now it looks like I won't get married in 2010 after all. But I could be tricked into checking this forum next year again. Maybe some new lady sailors will test the waters in 2011.



...Looks like you and I are in the same boat and still not catching anything. I gave up hope for this year. I'm going to A new Year's Eve Singles dance for the over 40 crowd. Here's hoping I "snag" something. Wouldn't that be a great start to 2011?

...mae
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 116
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/31/2010 9:06:45 AM

Thank you for the encouragement. Maybe she just had a bad day. Or maybe she thought that with all that sand around Vegas a large beach erection is imminent.

I really do hope that 'large beach erection' refers to sand castles. Sand can be so gritty and abrasive....
 sillyme23
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 117
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 12/31/2010 6:57:06 PM
I think you have a point as what I was I found attractive then is now the same as now. I am recently divorced from a man 19 years younger than me..I still find younger men attractive but am seeking somewhat more my age..Yet the men where i live (Hawaii) seek much younger women so I tend to spend much alone time (like New Years Eve where I'm writing on this site). The men here tend to look for the egotistical "pretty woman" or eye candy rather than something a bit more lasting..go fiqure..
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 118
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/1/2011 1:22:33 PM
^^^ OMG.....yeah, go figure! Thank goodness you're not guilty of not seeking something a bit more lasting. You should have known this would happen when he got his drivers license. Talk about hypocrisy....I think we just raised the bar.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 120
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/1/2011 5:11:18 PM

Yet the men where i live (Hawaii) seek much younger women so I tend to spend much alone time


...It doesn't only happen in Hawaii believe me. But for me that kind of behaviour would go down a whole lots easier if I lived in Hawaii...just sayin.


The men here tend to look for the egotistical "pretty woman" or eye candy rather than something a bit more lasting..go fiqure


...Yeah but....."YOU LIVE IN HAWAII"

Sorry, didn't mean ti make your situation sound trivial...just having a bit of fun.

...mae
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 122
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/25/2011 2:37:05 AM
Someone that just divorced a plastic surgeon?......did I guess right?
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 123
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/25/2011 4:34:44 AM

The men here tend to look for the egotistical "pretty woman" or eye candy rather than something a bit more lasting..go fiqure..


1. Who is to say a relationship with a pretty woman will not be lasting. This is making a generalization that attractive women don't have much in the way of character or personality.
2. When we were all younger (40 years ago) most girls my age wanted to date older guys. High school and college. All of the guys we're frustrated that girls did this but the girls said it's their choice. It seems we have come full circle.
3. There are plenty of wormen where I live who, when reading their profiles, only want younger men. Their age range for men is their age and younger. Some start with an age several years younger than themself and go down. They don't want men their age and it's, usually, the more attractive women who do this.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 124
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/26/2011 11:33:14 AM
I've started a project that I've always wondered about. Reading women's profiles within a ten miles (sixteen kM) distance of where I live and documenting their requirements of men. I, very carefully, read each profile and document SIMILAR desired traits found in all profiles. Something like, "has to like my dog" I leave out because this is not universal comment. There are a couple of items that I figured were true that have been confirmed. So far I've been through one hundred profiles:

1. The more attractive the woman "percieves herself" to be, the larger the requirement list is for men.
2. Women who precieve themselves as less attractive (some will even state this) downplay looks and, sometimes, criticise men who want an attractive woman and even state attractive women have little personality.
3. Younger pictures are used for the main photo with present day photos inside.
4. Photos taken at an angle that reduces the woman's real physical size.
5. Selects "A few extra pounds" when her photo seems to indicate "BBW" (subjective I know).
6. Women limits messages from men who want someone to "Hang out" with. Yet in their profiles they say (among other things) I would like "a man to hang out with".

These were, almost, universal. I don't have a list for men because I've never been in the practice of checking out men's profiles.

If interested I can post the list of wants and do not want.

(Putting on asbesteos suit- waiting for flames)
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 125
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/26/2011 12:00:59 PM
@ Dave: It never occurred to me when I first put up a profile that I'd have to list any wants. I assumed they'd be self-evident to anyone who botherred to read my bio in the first place. I've been in animal rescue for 40+ years, so a man would have to at the least be able to like/tolerate my critters. I don't care if a man smokes or not, as long as he doesn't mind me smoking - and yes, there are a few of them who do say that in their own profiles. I just never contacted anyone who is a non-smoker or doesn't like animals or, for that matter, starts his profile with a Bible verse. Anyone who lists Bible study as his primary interest would not be interested in me, for sure.

But I've also been contacted by men who tell me right out I have to quit smoking and get rid of my animals and convert to the religion of their choice. I even got blocked by one because I didn't agree with his politics 100%, yet he was the one who contact me first.

It's not just women who have a list of wants.

It's easy to check out men's profiles. On the Inbox page, there's a quick search where you can change your gender to see what comes up. It's enlightening, to say the least.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 126
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/26/2011 12:37:59 PM
I don't get the constant debate over profiles, wants, needs,
standards blah blah blah.

EVERYONE has their standards and their "lists" of requirements
even if they aren't mentioned in their profiles. What's the big deal?
You contact people you might be interested in, you answer people
who write you that you might be interested in, if you change your
mind you move on. Simple.

I have a real good idea of what isn't attractive to me. What is attractive
I'm willing to negotiate on. I'm not looking for perfection, or a story book
ideal. Unfortunately, participating in the forums, makes 99% of the men
here unattractive to me...and I've no doubt they feel the same of me.

That's the price you pay for being here...no sense in whining about it.
The forums (for the most part) do not bring out the best in people.

I see bunches of profiles of really nice men. I send out messages, guys
send me messages and we chat and meet. Isn't that how it's supposed to work?
What is attractive to me is someone who finds me to be someone they'd like to
get to know. I leave all the other crap in the forums.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 127
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/26/2011 3:05:49 PM
The responses I anticipated. So many times men will say women write specific things in their profiles and when in discussion within these forums most women deny that those kind of statements would be made by most women. I guess my purpose is to statistically put to to rest, at least for me, some of the things women deny to men. Are men liars: yes. But not as good as women. Some women will even admit that women are better liars than men and because of this they get away with it. It sure is enlightening to see how women think towards men when one sees the bigger picture when written by their own hand (on a keyboard).
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 128
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/27/2011 11:22:33 AM

It's kind of a biological "thang" too, 'cuz men are supposed to be "hardwired" more for the "visual", and from a biological standpoint, they're also more apt to be seeking females with better "reproductive" potential (aka, younger women). While on the other hand, younger women are looking for the most $ecurity and protection for their offspring, so the older guys can qualify just as well, if not better. Mother Nature's not always so PC!

I just think that statement (which I have read 50 times before, as an excuse for 40 years old men to date 20 year old women) is So Full Of Crap! Do know and Have known many men in the 40 to 50 year old bracket, and have 0only known 1 ONE, who was interested in having a child. Excuses for looking for your barbie or robbing the cradle

Very few women over are looking for security or a father for their children.

Poof on the whole statement. Sorry about that.


Whitefether: I completely agree with you. The philosophy that men are driven only to guaranttee our "seed" will be passed had to of been developed by some Thinker in a high white ivory tower who had no connection with reality. As a man I can tell you TESTOSTERONE is the driving force. Being horny (dislike that term) is why men do this.

For the life of me I cannot understand why a man my age would want to date someone his daughters age. Just thinking about this puts my mind into standby: "danger, danger Will Robinson!" I know they are out there, and maybe I'm blind, but I don't know of any of my friends who do this. Yes, a 20 something or 30 something's body looks nice but as we age some of us mature and a woman's charater definitely becomes a big factor. When I do a search the lowest age I look for is 52. I don't even consider a 40 something.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 129
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/27/2011 11:38:07 AM

OP, the "eyes eat first", because we are all brain-washed, and programmed sheep. Period. We can't overcome this lifetime of conditioning, even though many of us try, while most don't and go along with the program. We can discuss this issue 'till the cows come home', and never come to an agreeable conclusion other than 'we are all sheep'. Baa Baa


I have to disagree. Physical beauty is something that has been longed for and extolled throughout recorded history. Rome, Greece and Egypt all put a premium on beauy and even had makeup and perfume. Yes, present day entertainment and marketing/sales programs extoll it but it hardly started with the modern age.

Most people in this forum have already stated that there has to be some form of physical attraction to get the ball rolling. As one women here put it, "if the wrapping isn't interesting I'm not really interested in finding out what is inside the box".

Soon after a couple connects then the emotional connection develops and then discovery of ones partners character becomes important. To say physical attraction should have no part is contrdictory to what we are and our history as human beings.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 130
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 1/29/2011 10:50:33 AM
I hesitate to spend time commenting ... but, here I am, mouthing off anyway!

I have very few "requirements" when it comes to who I will or will not date ... because this isn't a definable quest ...

and I KNOW me ... what's attractive to me is intelligence, attitude and sense of humour ... and you can't SEE that in a photo ... or in a list of qualities or interests ...

one man I dated was probably on very few lists of who women want to date based on his physical attributes or lack thereof ... he was very ill, grossly obese, not particularly good looking ... but ... the more that man talked, the more interested I became ... he was SO intelligent ... he had such a funny, exciting attitude ... wow! what a GREAT combination! being with him initially was so exciting, so thrilling ... I could see us being together for as long as his health allowed ...

sadly, he was looking for a doormat so I didn't qualify for him! and THERE'S the rub ... we not only have to find someone who rocks our boat ... but we have to be "the one" for them as well ...

I still hope to find a match ... but I have very little faith that it will happen! this COULD be a self-fulfilling prophesy ... but I'm feeling a lot of doubt on my part! and that's ok ... cuz me and I ... we get along just fine!

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