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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy      Home login  
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 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 63
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacyPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
good lord..... what is next? campfire girls on crack cant find a decent guy?
 2FunCoco
Joined: 5/26/2011
Msg: 64
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 12/5/2012 3:59:43 PM
I feel for you. This all happens. Black women are independent and this just puts them out there further from black successful men. Get social is all I can say. Do things you "normally" would NOT do. Racquetball, softball team, I know, it sucks but women are there and not looking at you while you are out of the social norm.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 65
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Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 12/5/2012 5:59:51 PM
Find a white woman who will go out with you. Dress nice to look good on your date.

As soon as you get in public with the white woman, a hundred sisters will immediately be all over you. Take your pick.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 66
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 12/9/2012 10:32:58 AM
Bah! I'm kinda shy and have black women contacting me on here. Educated, respectful women. I'd have gone out with a beautiful black woman recently if I didn't completely fail her in the area of religion with what she was seeking. LOL!

Don't know what to tell ya other than you are drastically over-thinking things and over-generalizing. You've just paralyzed your dating chances with all this superfluous analysis. People seem pretty open to inter-racial dating in MN from what I've experienced. I do see some women that seem to be trying to be something they are not, and agreed, not attractive.
 GeekyCrazyButCool
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 67
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 12/11/2012 8:51:44 PM
Make as much money as possible.

Money and Status = Women
 sigungq
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 68
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 12/11/2012 9:34:25 PM
OP, this doesn't just go for black men. It's ALL men. If a man is shy, he might as well hang it up, because no woman will ever approach first. Just how it is.
 GeekyCrazyButCool
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 69
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 12/12/2012 11:20:20 AM
Solutions:

Accept the situation.

You raise some valid points however I fear that most here cannot possibly understand the "black experience" in north america.

Understand that most who are white/asian have indeed written you off as "ruthless woman beating, no job having, STD spreading, baby making, and ditching, uneducated, prison bound Neanderthal" Because you or any number of kind decent black men will NEVER change those individuals minds.

Just accept this....yes it sucks...but it's reality.

Now that you understand you will never change the world....continue to improve yourself and consider the women you have written of as undesirable....they may have value. At very least they see value in you.

Consider moving away from north america...finding love elsewhere (not Europe/mid-east) but in a black dominant country. In these countries the opposite situation is mostly true. Black people tend to be a lot less racist to their own people. (go figure) Also other races living there spend their lives around black people and usually won't mind relations at all.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 70
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Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 12/12/2012 2:42:11 PM
I have coworkers that make over 120 k atre in their early 30's never had a GF, they are shy
been beat up and rejected by women so they do not try anymore, since the great deal of women of this world do not
initaite contact (yes I am generalizing , I can be at a bar every day of my life and never get approached, that is the way it is) anyhow. They lost hope and almost do not care , kind of the type of guys that would buy one of those hot sexy real dolls they make in my city mmmmmm....
Some guys are doomed being black is not bad alot of pwomen in dating sites only want black guys but no one wants a short ugly shy guy much less be seen with one, I have alot of female friends I record their conversations in my head.

Overcome your shyness, being black to women is a start to badboyism according to the stereo type, imagine you short asian skinny bald and unatractive generally to woman, being even talked to in flirtation is a fantasy to those coworkers.

They make a big deal if a female official calls them on the phone and even more so if there is an official face to face meeting, some would say gosh I wish I was you that was so cool, she is cute....

Secret life of one of those emotionally forgotten.
 sigungq
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 71
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 12/12/2012 6:34:48 PM
sddude YOU NAILED IT!!
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 72
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 12/12/2012 6:48:14 PM
I guess we all have our cross to bear..I'm a 45 year old white gal and I'm embarrassed to say how long I've been celibate! And I live in LA where everyone dates everyone else and still it's been impossible to find something real, a real relationship. I can tell you one thing though, online dating is only going to make you feel worse, I'd suggest stopping now! It's nothin' but trouble! Trouble I tell ya!

Anyway, it's not just black guys, or shy black guys..alot of us have this "something" we seem to think is the reason for our trouble..for me, I chalk it up to being middle age and too down to earth for this superficial town..but I could be wrong, who knows. Once I stopped struggling to dissect it and moved ahead to create a happy life for myself I just don't think about it anymore.
 QuietFire92
Joined: 9/1/2013
Msg: 73
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 2/2/2014 10:41:48 PM
It's all true, unfortunately. But there are at least some parts of this situation that you can control and change.
 localRenoite12
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 74
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 2/2/2014 11:45:04 PM
I'm a social white guy who is in a state of forced celibacy. It doesn't have to do with race, just how well you can approach or swipe a woman off her feet. I guess I'm fine with my life, it would be nice to have a partner in it but women are too picky these days.
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 75
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Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 2/15/2014 10:33:26 PM
So basically what the author is depicting is a BETA male?

I'm short, black, in the military and even I get play from women from time to time. I have 3 strikes against me and that hasn't stopped me in the past. Today I live in Celibacy because I CHOOSE TO. I don't approach women nowadays because I don't want to deal with their BS. A lot of women come with a lot of baggage. As my conditioning coach told our football team one time "no matter how good she looks someone is tired of her ish." Besides, with a lot of women comes a lot of problems (ask T.O). I have no wife, no kids, no child support, no alimony, no nothin. It's almost like a badge of honor. My future is bright both in the civilian world and military. I have 100s of things on my mind pertaining to my future and things I want to accomplish in life (graduate school, advancing in the military, buying a couple houses, traveling, etc) And I'm sorry to say but finding a GF/wife isn't one. When it comes to women, I mainly do the hookup thing. Point is, to the author...mess around and get more than you bargain for. Outside of sex, you're not missing much by living in Celibacy. Trust me, there are a lot of guys paying child support wishing they were in your shoes.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 76
Shy Black men doomed to forced celibacy
Posted: 2/15/2014 11:37:12 PM

Stick to doing the things that you love in life, and moving up in the world. If a woman comes along who happens to make your life better instead of harder then great, otherwise don't bother.


Wow! Aanarchist......excellent advice! OP is long gone, but excellent advice nonetheless. I wish the same for you! :)
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