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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Delusional Expecting to find "Love" at this age?      Home login  
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 number_one
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 289
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?Page 14 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I am sure I will know when I meet Mr Right. I have already but he didn't realize it, broke my heart. Oh well. I'm still looking.
POF needs to advertise big time. POF has left us hanging without new blood to chew on. lol
Judy
 Seacucumber1
Joined: 2/2/2011
Msg: 290
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Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:23:04 PM
You know what the tough part is. Knowing when to transition from a interested to a committed relationship. Most all of us older people have been through relationships that finally died out and we don't want to make a mistake again for both parties involved. However some woman expect you to committ after 2 dates> I can understand that they don;t want to waste a lot of time with someone not willing to committ. What is the proper way to do this? I'm stumped.
 Seacucumber1
Joined: 2/2/2011
Msg: 291
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Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:24:59 PM
Call me nuts. But I would love to fall in love again. And no, not because I want someone to take care of me. Just cause I've never known anything better.
 SthrnButtrfly
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 292
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Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 9/14/2011 8:10:04 PM

Call me nuts. But I would love to fall in love again. And no, not because I want someone to take care of me. Just cause I've never known anything better.


I am right behind you. I may be older and wiser, but I still believe there is someone out there for me...we just havnt caught up with each other yet.
 pinkoleander
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 293
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 9/14/2011 10:30:30 PM
Not delusional at all. Why? Only teenagers can fall in love?
 onegoodman247
Joined: 7/30/2010
Msg: 294
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 9/15/2011 4:59:10 PM
I agree with you on the continuing to look scenerio. I met what I thought was a great lady on Match, was with her for 4.5 years and found she had similar habits. Well since I got back into internet dating a year and a half ago I have been continually seeing women that say they are looking for a committed relationship, the last first date etc, but are dating 5-8 men at all times. I have been on a date where the gals phone is ringing off the hook with texts to the point she got embarrassed and shut the phone off. I stopped for gas, went into the mens restroom and then approached my vehicle from a different direction (was trying to ask if she wanted something to drink etc) and saw her frantically texting. Dropped her off that night, deleted her number and email and hoped I would find my mate the next time.
I have also seen numerous female dating "authorities" on the advice portions of the sites advocating this type of behavior. Like an endless game of 7 card dating rummy, draw a card and discard the lowest one in your hand. Over and over, continually looking for something better. I am sure some men do this too. I have actually met and briefly (1-2 dates) dated as many as 3 women at a time just due to overlap, scheduling etc, I have always looked for one woman to focus on. So far no good. Something flawed with this process. Gotta figure it out for both the women and the men and then we all win. I don't want to be on this site for years
 northcountryfair
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 295
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 9/20/2011 3:53:46 PM
Some days I do feel this is totally pointless and I might as well face the fact that after 4 years of being alone, that's the way it's going to be. Other days I think well, maybe, ust maybe, there is a real being of the male variety out there for me.

I've given up actively searching.I don't look at profiles unless someone looks at me first. If I get an email, cool, if I get a second one from the same person, cooler yet. but I've learned that people can say anything. It's just words on a screen. Aint real til it's real
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 296
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/10/2012 10:00:11 PM

You can't enter the same river twice

Not sure how this saying applies. No person is the same as they were 40 yrs ago so 2 people, combined/getting back together wouldn't be, couldn't be, the same river. Not saying it will work out this time. The river may flow the same direction. But, it is not the same river as 40 yrs ago.
 Happy Dude 63
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 297
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/11/2012 4:49:13 AM
Personal baggage. As we get older we have many known or worse unknown issues.
1. We are much less willing to put up with any sign of a "prior" stress.
2. We almost all think we look much much younger then we do, there fore we want a younger person.
Or we see a profile and the person looks older then we think fits us. I have buddies that all want to be with
girls from their 20's to early 30's...the same I see ladies profiles looking for guys 15 years younger then they are.
It seems to make us feel younger, if we are with some one younger?? ( but not for me).
3. We want to read a perfect profile and match a perfect picture to it that makes us be in love. Before spending anytime together.
4. We have worries that if we choose a wrong mate this time, it could be our last chance at love.

I think these are real feelings and ok to have. But we need to see them as what they are, distractions from really looking at a person and seeing if they are some one whom you can build something with.

When we were kids, we would do anything to be with our bf/gf....anything. Well as we get older and life happens,
we close that "anything" door more and more. Don't close it all the way!!
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 298
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/11/2012 5:00:28 AM
Not at all delusional, why bother if there is no spark some would say. i dont imagine the mad giddy falling in love happens at a mature age but if you cant imagine having sex with the guy you meet then I wouldnt waste his time or yours. Companionship and things in common is a must but there has to be some physical attraction if not the starry eyed thing which can make fools out of us anyway. Falling in love is nature's wasy to get us to breed and that become redundant after a certain age. But we can still love and perhaps in a wiser way, as we age.
 luvyduvy49
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 299
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/15/2012 8:30:25 PM
aaawww i want to neck all night too
 luvyduvy49
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 300
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/15/2012 8:31:21 PM
but not in the first half hour lol
 providence2006
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 301
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/20/2012 9:56:13 AM

I was talking with a platonic friend, I met a year ago, from here, last night, and that's what he asked me, "What have you found missing in the men you've met so far?" When I thought about it I realized that it was that illusive feeling of "love". I'm looking to "be" loved and "to" love. Am I just being delusional?


A few years ago I would have said yes to be delusional...Now I believe in love...
I haven't found the person who can has fallen in love with me yet but I did fall for someone and I thought that part of my life was over but this person woke something up inside of me. I'm not frantically searching for love because I believe once the time is right that person will appear...or maybe re-appear.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 302
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:17:15 AM
I'd like to know just how many people over forty five actually fall in love again. I know lots of us end up in relationships, some of us remarrying. . but do any of us feel that intense feeling of "love" that if we were lucky, we experienced in our youth? I wonder about that. Women get very practical when they get older. They are not looking for love as much as a stable relationship with a guy with at least minimal finances. And guys are looking for women they find attractive, but great sex appeal at our age is few and far between. So I suspect almost all of us settle at this age. Could be wrong of course. Just my opinion.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 303
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:20:30 AM
"Forum Filly" and "Her Dave" did:)

They are my inspiration. I surely hope there are many many more, but at this point since I'm not wired for "settling," I'd be overjoyed with "few and far between"!
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 304
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:24:48 AM
I get it Ready. You want what you have had in the past. Not impossible of course, but I think you realize it is not so easy to meet the right guy/gal at this stage of our lives. People can still "settle" into a warm, caring relationship and still be relatively happy. Is that so bad?
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 305
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Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:42:26 AM
Why settle for that when you can enjoy those you know and want to be with, the adventures, travel, life, with no long term commitment other than respect, understanding, concern and mutual responsibility to and for each other, until the right one does come along, and trust me, you will know it if they do, but the problem is, will they!

The old song works wonders for me at my age now, and that is...."if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you are with".........so, if you are waiting for that one and only, enjoy the one that is now, and treat them with the same respect and kindness that you want and are waiting for.

cd
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 306
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/21/2012 11:20:42 AM

"Forum Filly" and "Her Dave" did:)

They are my inspiration. I surely hope there are many many more, but at this point since I'm not wired for "settling," I'd be overjoyed with "few and far between"!


My inspiration too. They are both over 45, and totally in love with one another. They recently exchanged vows and have just purchased a new home. How wonderful for them.

There are some happy endings..


...mae
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 307
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Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/25/2012 6:01:37 AM
so, if you are waiting for that one and only, enjoy the one that is now, and treat them with the same respect and kindness that you want and are waiting for.
-----------
So love the one you're with only till the right one comes along? Doesn't sound very respectful to me.
 blondiem45
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 308
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/25/2012 6:29:04 PM
I believe when we were younger we werent as selective as we are now.
I find myself to be more selective and know what I am seeking and wont settle for anything less.
If it happens it happens.I am happy either way.
Good luck in your search
 JstAnotherChick
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 309
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/25/2012 6:41:33 PM
I have decided it is delusional to believe I will find someone who can put up with my shit, and me be willing to put up with their shit.
Getting old has really made my tolerance for anything negative coming towards me very low. I want the toilet paper to roll over the top, and I am not willing to compromise on that!

I can't believe I am still single.

;o)
 Tra_leannan
Joined: 5/21/2012
Msg: 310
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/26/2012 8:52:26 AM

As my uncle used to say 'as long as you wake up on the right side of the turf, there's still time.'

This thought process works for me! I'm not expecting to find love but I'm not going to think it might never happen either.

I don't consider the years put in on this planet as getting old, but more along the lines of I have been lucky enough to wake up a few more days and looking forward to more (most of the time) I hope to connect with someone with a similar frame of mind and similar time spent in the world. (there is another thread about age difference somewhere and I was thinking...for me anyway...a "love" connection would need to be with someone born within a decade of my age....)
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 311
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/29/2012 4:39:33 PM

but do any of us feel that intense feeling of "love" that if we were lucky, we experienced in our youth? I wonder about that.


This is the last stanza of a poem I wrote the year I turned 65. Hope it helps.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IV

No. I was not prepared. Could never have
imagined, dreamed it.
Had I, it would have been something sweet
and lavender. Suitable. Serene. Some
thing to touch the hearts of the young ones:
holding hands on a park bench. Seemly.
Not this, this heart all gladdened out of season.
All hobbledehoy, all gay, all sunlight and thunder.
Beyond all edges, beyond belief, no white dove
perched on a finger: an eagle. Raptor.
Soul soars and circles,
out of sight, nor hears any voice of reason.
Sightless, blind and deaf with joy,
without voice for this, stumbling
without guidance. No teacher.
Yet too, a peace so deep and fine, spun silk
against the naked skin at midnight, cool.
And warmth, not ember,
wildfire running against the wind, devouring.
And an angel, standing in the corner,
laughing.
But not surprised.


~~ JJL
 NotyouraverageD
Joined: 5/15/2012
Msg: 312
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 6/1/2012 9:54:13 AM
everything happens to everyone in their own time and i really strongly recommend people move to the toon of their own drummer and not some pre-conceived notion of what 'normal' is.

our culture exerts tremendous pressure on us to behave a certain way - this has never worked for me in the past and it still doesn't.

will i fine 'true love?' who knows, but it won't stop me from trying or being open to the possibility.
 kingslayer64
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 313
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 6/5/2012 3:06:45 AM
I think so OP ..Finding love over 18 is difficult enough LOL..But at forty plus women and men I think become way more jaded . Personally have forgotten what love even feels like .Been over a decade for me .
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