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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Delusional Expecting to find "Love" at this age?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 157
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?Page 7 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

done that and aren't idealistic enough to risk going all the way in shaping one another and forming their identity as a couple.

Perhaps at 45+ people don't always shape as well. It can be like trying to re-break in a used saddle, or a used pair of leather shoes. I realize,with the advent of more synthetic materials and advances in leather-tanning,this may not be as significant as it used to be, so some people may not be able to grasp my analogy at all. However, its' the best I can come up with.



Personally, I think that is generally the case with people as they get older, which is one big reason I didn't want to date women my own age.
Well, Ab, I don't guess I was aware of your position. That does explain A LOT.


The question is whether or not age affects one's ability to find love. If it does, it's because old people think about love differently than young people (that is too much of a tautology to be in dispute).

I don't think it's a matter of age as far as the numbers on one's drivers' license or ID card. But we are all shaped by our experiences-or lack of them.
It doesn't MATTER what you or I think about relationships that don't look or work the same as the standard model. If everybody wants the candy-coating, let's just say the 2 people fell in love and chose to enact it differently.
Lets' consider this, and NO, I am not downgrading or disrespecting marriage or committed cohabitation. But of those people who fall in love and set out together to shape to one another, half of them FAIL. The stats for 2nd/3rd and above marriages failing? 70%. These are stats that are frequently thrown about in the media, and in discussions of all types, so I can't cite a source except to say I read them every day here in the PoF forums.
So people can run it down as "thinking old" or whatever they want to call it. But I think that people of any age can fall in love, it's how they go about conducting the resulting relationship that differs.
Cindy O
 jackfouru
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 158
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/20/2011 4:15:51 PM
The real difference is that when people get older, they generally give up their dreams in favor of keeping what they have. They trade risk for stability and comfort. That includes dreams of falling in love.


There are some braver older people who, recognizing their mortality, decide to give up their lives of normalcy and security and chase their dreams. Perhaps that is why some middle aged guys and gals, divorce their wives/husbands, give up half or more of their assets, and try to start new lives for themselves.

I've known older people who have given up everything just to start a new career or a new life. Not all older people are scared to risk it all for what they perceive to be a better or at least a new life.

And yea, sometimes that means a guy will divorce his wife of thirty years and marry his old high school girlfriend, or the girl he met in the local gym, and why some women who have been unhappily married for so long decide to make their moves. . . all well into middle age.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 159
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/20/2011 5:45:09 PM
The OT asked if we (people over 45) were delusional because they were wanting to find "love"...not just latch on to the first remotely passable prospect that came moseying down the pike. If that's "delusional", then we ALL are. If it was just to have a warm body in the bed with us, hell, I'm sure we could make do with something we find locally. This is not to say that we are all going to find our true love so far away that it requires one of us to relocate-it's surprising how many people living right in the same area, that we probably would not have crossed paths with,if it wasn't for the internet.
But, I think, here we are discussing people who have divorced for various reasons NOT having to do specifically with "finding someone else". And people whose SO has passed away, and people who for one reason or another never did get around to marriage or deep committment,and are now giving that step some serious consideration.

Of course it's not delusional.
But I do think what we are talking about here is more on the lines of people who are already unpartnered, however they got that way, not so much about married people who contemplate divorce just because they are bored.
Cindy O
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 160
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/21/2011 6:43:03 AM
Well, Ab, I don't guess I was aware of your position. That does explain A LOT.

I'm surprised. I've expressed that opinion quite often. I spent most of my life in academic land where people of all ages are still driven by curiosity and idealism. For the most part in the real world, people lose those things as they get older and become pragmatic. It was a rude awakening, but I'm not in a hurry to grow up, so I try to hang with people who don't act like grownups, which in general, means people younger than I am.

That is the problem in a nutshell-your man is 50 and you are 39!

Why is that a problem. a priori?

I am 52 and would like to meet a man of a similar age-but all the 52 year old men (including my ex) are looking at women at least 5 years younger.

The women I met here were anywhere from 5-10+ years younger. The youngest was 20 years younger. My fiancee is 5 years younger. One of the perks of being older is that younger women usually don't have a problem dating guys who are older, so there were lots more women in my dating pool. If you want to restrict yourself to a narrow age-range of men, you are going to have the problem you describe. However, it's your problem.

Why are they so shallow?

What is shallow in the eyes of any person is what someone else wants, but which that person doesn't have to offer. Dumb people can't choose to be smarter. Short people can't choose to be taller. Blind people can't choose to be sighted, etc., yet people opt to not date idiots because they are idiots, not date short people because they're short, not date blind people because they're blind, etc. Why should anyone's preferences be considered more shallow than anyone else's? (Some preferences are more politically correct than others, which is why lots of people say looks are not really important, but magically find other excuses for not dating someone who isn't attractive.) You restrict the people who contact you to be 46-56. Is a guy who is 45 or 57 really that different from one who is 46 or 56, respectively?

Some people (but apparently, not you) would call that restriction shallow. At least your ability to look good in a short skirt is something you can change and is only limited by your desire to fit into it. I'd call those things preferences that require no justification on your part regardless of what I think about your preferences or whether I'd be excluded by them. If I were to call any preference not shallow, it would be those which others have the ability to meet if they thought it was important enough, since differences of opinion on those things imply very different attitudes about many things. Your preferences are your own and you have to live within the restrictions you set, just like everyone else.

I'd call some of the other mail restrictions you have just plain misguided and silly, though. For instance, you are looking for a relationship, so you won't let anyone listing himself as Talk/Email contact you. My fiancee listed herself as Talk/Email and wasn't really looking for dates here, yet here we are getting married. She contacted me first. We met each other less than a month after she joined pof and have dated ever since. Had I assumed what you assume, I'd have excluded her from contacting me.) If you're frustrated by the lack of men in your dating pool, enlarge your dating pool instead of complaining about the men you do allow to contact you but who don't contact you because their preferences exclude you. When you stop having preferences, you will have the moral high ground from which to call other's preferences shallow.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 161
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/21/2011 7:03:57 AM

I dont want to have to wear high heels and short skirts to attract a man of my own age- the old 'mutton dressed as lamb' look- but it seems to be what attracts the men. Why are they so shallow?


You don't have to do anything that you do not desire. But if that is what in your book makes men shallow, by all means, yes we are shallow.

Interestingly enough, you are looking for men of your age, and because they want younger, you think that is shallow. The reality is that throughout the ages, the discrepancy between men and women tended to be a big one, because women were more interested and in need of security and stability, than a hunk good looking guy. So that young guy went to war, went to conquest and to make something of himself before he took a wife and by that time he may be 10 to 15 years older.

This sense of looking at men your own age, or younger, what we now call cougar, is the result of modern society where women now make as much if not more than men, and the purpose of men is not to provide and protect, but to be purely a companion.

So neither equation is wrong. Would you consider the men that are 65 that are looking at you as prime candidates shallow? What if they call you shallow for not giving them the time of day? Would that bother you? Would the be right?
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 162
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Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/21/2011 7:45:03 AM

That is the problem in a nutshell-your man is 50 and you are 39!



I don't see what is shallow about a little age difference. I wasn't only looking for an older man to date and my SO had on his profile 40 and up. He messaged me even though I was only 38 at the time because he liked that we both have children around the same age. I don't even think of his age difference. I didn't have to wear short skirts and high heels to attract men either. I rarely ever wear high heels. I'd rather be comfortable in sandals or gym shoes.

Perhaps it's not the age but the negative attitude that men find unappealing. Love can be found at any age.


BTW, my man is 51 and I am 39!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 163
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/21/2011 8:30:57 AM
I do not think that curiousity and idealism are particularly confined to a particular field or age bracket. I also believe that one can be idealistic and curious, yet possessed of the common sense to keep from getting killed( figuratively OR literally) .
You prefer to consider the tempering of idealism and curiousity to be a loss, but many others consider it to be wisdom. Can people be completely hobbled by extreme conservatism/pragmatism? Of course they can. Can people get their asses in a sling by extreme idealism and curiousity? Of course they can.



My fiancee is 5 years younger.

But what is her age in terms of life experiences? Has she been married before? Does she have children? Has she ever dealt with serious illness(herself or a loved one)? Experienced financial adversity?

IMO, people over 45 who've not been married or had families probably are quite young in terms of experience, and they may very well BE able to shape to each other. But 45+ with little experience of marriage, child-rearing, family life, is NOT the usual situation of 45+ individuals looking for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th-whatever!-experience of love and couplehood.


which is why lots of people say looks are not really important,

It's not "looks" per se, it's a sense of mutual attraction.Yes, there are certain media examples-in both genders- that are held to be desirable.
As much as "pragmatism" is being bandied about in this thread-wouldn't the completely pragmatic individual simply take up with the most accessible and least problematic person as a life partner?Wouldn't they go with the 'standard'design of relationship,even though they might regard some aspects of the standard relationship to be potentially problematic?
IMO, a person who is seeking that genuine resonance and feeling of emotional rightness that we call love, but is very much prepared to make adjustments to that standard relationship model if life has created some factors that make complete intertwinement a cause for concern, is every bit as idealistic as those who are pursuing the standard issue "happily ever after" relationship.
If this were all so pragmatic, then I believe most of us would have found an 'acceptable' new partner within our own communities and circles, even if there wasn't an evenly balanced mutual feeling of love. If everyone paired up based on convenience and because it 'makes sense', and chose to forego a quest for REAL love, now that, IMO, would be "pragmatism".
As for what restrictions other people have, and what ideals they hold in their quest for love,with all due respect, not everyone is you and your fiancee.
I could make frequent references to my late husband and how we conducted our marriage, and insist that it should be how everyone conducts their courtship and marriage, but who the hell would I think I was, to instruct everyone else about THE way to do dating, courtship and marriage?
People usually have good reasons, according to their own ideals and experiences, for having whatever email restrictions or filters, age ranges, etc. Yes, I'm sure that from time to time a 'talk/email ' specification develops into something more, but there are also lots of cases where "talk/email" was specified because there was really no(or limited) intent or possibility of it ever being more than e-penpals.
Cindy O
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 164
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/21/2011 10:43:57 AM
You can expect to find love at any age unless your thinking gets old. Young people are idealistic, so it's easier to fall in love for idealistic reasons. People who ``think old'' fall in love for pragmatic reasons, so if your preferences reflect a lot of pragmatism, then you aren't likely to find the idealistic kind of love you are talking about. I didn't have a lot of difficulty finding love at my age because I live by the motto, ``I may have to grow old, but I don't have to grow up.''


Abelian.....You cannot compare the thinking of a young 20 year old with the thinking of a 45+ year old.It's like comparing Apples and Oranges. Everyone's life experiences are unique to each individual. The more time and experience the more unique one becomes. Some writings on the slate of life can be erased and re-writen but the shadows underneath remain. That's what makes compatibility at a later age more difficult. We look for someone whose life experiences are most compatible to our own.

It doesn't have anything to do with "thinking old or young", I think it's more with "thinking similarly" . When I was in my late teens I had, many young men attracted to me, but I was as discerning then as I am now. Many of the core values I looked for in a partner then are similar to what I look for today. I didn't fall in love easily then and I don't now.

Today, the "older men" attracted to me, are basically the "young men" of yesterday, and I'm still looking for the same core values to match my own.
The difference lies in the many more shadows of our experiences, that reasonate within all of us. Some have darker shadows and some have fainter. Some "shadows" block out the sun and some let it through. It depends on the severity of the experiences and whether they were good ones or bad ones. Every experience influences a person's thoughts, behavior and personality, molding the psyche or soul differently. Some have a stronger psyche than others; many out there can't get out from under the shadows.

No matter how "young" one's thinking, change is inevitable. Only someone totally insulated and insensitive to life around him can go through it without being affected.

It's simply about finding compatibility, similarities and commonalities with another person, without having to twist one's self into an unrecognizable rendition of one's self.
Some find it sooner than others.

You were fortunate to find the right woman and love. Is it something you think you can find with every woman you meet; Or was it perhaps, your good fortune in that the right woman came by at the right time?
 CheshireChat
Joined: 5/14/2010
Msg: 165
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Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/27/2011 8:21:48 PM
Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath

Every time I think about love I think of these lyrics. Love is not reaction but action!
And its never too late....
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 166
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/29/2011 6:00:16 AM
Next month, it will be 35 years ago at the age of 18 that I first met my Ex. We dated and I distinctly remember the moment, 6 months into our relationship, when I discovered that I loved him and was in love with him. Memories!
Well that officially ended 5 years ago, after a 29 year marriage, that had some good and not so good times!

Today, I'm about to celebrate 6 months, with the gentleman I'm dating, and I've discovered that I'm still basically the same "girl" inside today that I was yesterday. It's the small considerate things he does and says that are making that love grow inside me.

Love grows slowly and surely for me as I get to know the depths and nuances of a person. Of course there has to be the initial attraction, but , I've found in these last 3 years of dating, that ' attraction' can quickly fade upon getting to know a person further.The couple of times I've gone on to date a gentleman for more than a couple of dates, I definitly knew within 2-3 months,' yeah or nay'.

I believe that "love" is a symbiotic feeling that needs to be mutually nurtured, in order for it to grow in a healthy manner. It's the small gestures, things done or not done, words said or not said that make all the difference. It's like a seed that grows and takes root until it's strong enough for the flower to bloom.

When love isn't balanced' or if a person has incompatible life issues which you don't wish to make your own, it can't survive. That's why it's so elusive and hard to find at any age; but especially at a later age when our life experiences have taught us what they have.
It's like anything in life, the more you learn, the more you realize how little you know!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 167
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/29/2011 7:21:41 AM
That's why it's so elusive and hard to find at any age; but especially at a later age when our life experiences have taught us what they have.

Personally, I still say that the only reason it usuallybecomes more elusive as people get older is because older people generally think old, become risk averse and cynical. I have certainly not found it elusive, but I also don't find that I have all that much in common with most people my age. I'm no less willing to take a risk than I was when I was 20. If anything, I'm more willing to take risks and just accept that consequences as part of the deal.

It's like anything in life, the more you learn, the more you realize how little you know!

While that is true, I've also found that for the most part, adults are just as f*cked up as I thought they were when I was a teenager.
 wayfarer4you
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 168
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Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 4/29/2011 10:06:46 PM
I would rather be alone for the right reasons ,then be with someone for all the wrong one's and Op. love is something i hope at sometime to feel again from hair to toe again ,but till then Live with your eyes open and your heart open (note to self find more lines on love and life ....
 ScotiaGoldenGirl
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 169
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Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/1/2011 8:33:20 AM
Good heavens--I sure do hope so! My younger friends are amazed when I tell them that. It doesn't have to be that "forever and ever love"--whatever that WAS (NOT).
Not that I would mind if it lasted as long as I do--but I just to find someone that I want to make happy. And, that loves me too! Ah--what a future we we will have.
I know the physical is in the eye of the beholder but honest eyes and a smile always gets my heart a flutter.
I love my family and friends and do quite well taking care of myself but I would be telling a big old whopping fib if I said that being a part of a couple isn't much better. Not only for the living but for living better. As I told some friends last week--if I would have known how the economy would turn out--I would have gotten remarried twenty years ago. See, I still have a sense of humour. That being said, it is better to be alone then to be with the wrong person.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 170
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/2/2011 5:14:45 AM

My issue is that I'm holding back sexually because I don't want to lead him on and later change my mind and hurt him. He's a great guy in a crappy stage of his life.

If you don't want to f*ck it up, then just accept what you have and run with it. All relationships last as long as they last. If you want a chance at one with this guy, stop looking and go for it.

I know we both feel like breaking it off and running away at times. That's what sucks about this age, we've all been burnt so many times that is almost like we're lead by fear!

``Being this age'' has nothing to do with it. Thinking like old people does. You can't get what you want without taking a risk.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 171
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/2/2011 1:13:44 PM

the typical forum user has long ago given up all his or her allusions, delusions, illusions and bilusions to find anyone.



Totally disagree.

Forummites come in all shapes and colors. Some are and have been in long term relationships. Others found someone online, or in real life but remain here because of the intellectual exchange. Others, yes, have given up and come in the varieties of negative, resentful, at peace with themselves, positive, and happy with who they are.

In my case I, I was in a relationship. Split. Now I am dating. I am actually not even looking because I went out with this one incredible lady and, well, let's see where that will go.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 172
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Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/2/2011 1:51:23 PM

Where do these people find these incredible other people to date? I am curious, because in my six years or maybe more, that I've been a participant on dating sites on the Internet, I have not once scored a relationship, a recurring date, or even a kiss. One woman date once gave me a ten dollar bill, that's all I have to show for my dating site activities.

So good for you and all you happy people. I feel your happiness, even though I am not priviledged to share in it. But still. This is good stuff.



I met two men in person from dating sites. One relationship lasted approximately 2 months before he said he wasn't over his ex. The other guy although he was still going through a divorce at the time was through the emotional separation long before we met. It's been just over 2 years since our first date and we are happily in an exclusive relationship now. I never thought I would find love on a dating site but I did and was on them for less than a year. I'm only on this site for the forums which is clearly stated in my profile.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 173
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/2/2011 2:18:51 PM

Where do these people find these incredible other people to date? I am curious, because in my six years or maybe more, that I've been a participant on dating sites on the Internet, I have not once scored a relationship, a recurring date, or even a kiss. One woman date once gave me a ten dollar bill, that's all I have to show for my dating site activities.


I guess our problem is that we are happy.

I don't know dude, but I've had my share of rejection, but with each rejection, I leaned something. And in these last 6 years I went from having ZERO dates, to being someone that had 3 dates a week, to then have one LTR with a lot of drama, cancer, fights, the whole works, to then be here again with a totally different interest and outlook.

I think that if you search for positive, have a positive outlook and have fun, the universe will realign to grant your wishes. But first you have to wish, second you have take the risk and then you see what happens.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 175
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/3/2011 6:33:27 AM
the fountains of love dry up almost instantly, they even make a sound like "sslpt" as they do.


And what is that? A rejection.

The elusive gateway to happiness will never reach you my friend. And as harsh as that sounds to you it is your truth. Because it is the only truth you want to believe. Anything that I say here, then will be an argument, or point that you will use to prove me wrong, and prove your pessimistic outlook to be right. You will prove your point, thus I lose and you win, and while you will win that battle, you will lose the war.

Your glass can be half full, or half empty, whatever you decide right there and where you are going to go resides in your mind. I chose to be out of my mind because in that quest I can find that happiness is not a destination but a pathway. And that pathway, no matter what, will lead me to experiences that even through pain, suffering, the tears of seeing someone in your arms scream for their life as they are consumed by cancer, or the joy of finishing a 100 mile ride on my bicycle, or seeing that person beat the cancer...it all makes that glass half full, and filling all the time.

How do you acquire a rejection? YOU TRY? You fail, you try again, you fail again, you try. You can give up, you can now be filled with fear or resentment, or accept your lot, and never try again. Then you never understood a thing. Or you get up and you try again. This applies to EVERYTHING.

So are you still trying? Or have you given up?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 176
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/3/2011 8:05:47 AM

How does one aquire a "rejection"?

You're either trolling or you are just hopelessly obtuse. It's easy to ``acquire a `rejection.''' Send a message to a woman on pof and if you don't get a reply, you've been rejected. If you lack the skills to send a message to a woman, online dating is not for you.

But it won't be easy for you to teach me that, since I won't lower my standards of honesty and forthrightness.

The only reason you won't be easy to teach is that you are willfully ineducable. Honesty nd forthrightness have nothing to do with it.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 177
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/3/2011 8:08:36 AM
How does one aquire a "rejection"? I haven't graduated to that level yet.


You have graduated and majored in rejection and depression. You have made it your life aspiration.


It takes some skill to be rejected, it seems. I do contact people, like on the forums, but as soon as it is revealed I am very short and fat, with no money anywhere, and that I suffer from borderline personality disorder, the fountains of love dry up almost instantly, they even make a sound like "sslpt" as they do.


If every person on the face of this earth who was short and fat thought like you, then o the only people who would procreate, would be tall, and thin. Look around you 1000's of short and fat people find relationships in life. Your profile states you're a mechanic. You have a trade which can offer you a good salary and living. What you do with your skills and your money depends on your life choices. Depression and personality disorders can be dealt with therapy.

You are responsible for your lot in life, not you stature, nor others around you.


So please tell me how to obtain that elusive gateway to happiness, "rejection". But it won't be easy for you to teach me that, since I won't lower my standards of honesty and forthrightness. I will always disclose my most obvious and most horrible traits and qualities, that is a given.


You must begin being honest with yourself and raising the standards you hold yourself to, before you can be honest with anyone else, and talk about "high" standards. The standards you hold yourself to seem to be the lowest. You are solely responsible for your traits and qualities whether good or horrible.

Would you involve yourself with a female version of yourself? You have to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 178
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/3/2011 10:24:15 AM
Actually, folks, I think agapos is a smartass- possibly a bigger smartass than I am-and that's saying something.
If he wants to require a rejection, why doesn't he look on eBay or Craigslist...I'm sure he'll find a category for "rejections"-on eBay I think it's right next to the grilled cheese-sandwiches that look like Jesus, The Virgin Mary or other famous people.
On Craigslist I think it's right below the "serial killers" category.
Cindy O
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 179
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/3/2011 4:41:15 PM
Well Shimmy he is a lucky guy.
And if you go thru this with him, maybe a winner for you.

Being jobless is the same as being helpless in ManWorld.
We don't like being that way
and would prefer to just crawl into our man cave alone to deal with it.

However it is when we are down that we realize what is important and who is on our side.
Bonding then...in a such a state...often leads to a permanent thing.
So be patient...be there for him....and good luck!
 JewelsnTools
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 180
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History
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/13/2011 10:12:24 PM
I certainly hope not! It does seem, though, as I've gotten older that the definition/meaning of "love" has changed...or simply become more realistic.
Now, it's more about a warm, loving, mutually supportive tag-team-ness (I made that word just for you!)----instead of needing to do a whole lot of huffin' and puffin' and getting all starry eyed. Used to be an elegant dinner with candlelight, witty conversation, and lots of crystal....now, a big dinner salad with a game of Scrabble works just fine!
Finding "real love" at this point in our lives is still a viable idea, I think. Especially when you see two old folks laughing together, while he helps her on with her coat. Does it for me, every time!
Official press release version: "No, it's not delusional-- it makes more sense than ever, now that we've begun to truly know ourselves at this age!"
Jewels
 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 181
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/19/2011 4:53:05 AM
Delusional?? I think Not!! 3 weeks ago at 49 years young i married the most wonderful, loving 54 year old man i've ever met.... Not once during the 2 years i was searching for him did i think it was all over for me and that i would never find love again!. The first year wasn't the easiest, we both had issues left over from previous relationships, but we both knew we had something worth fighting for and now I have never loved anybody more than i love him and have never felt so loved... Our looks may have changed but our capacity to love has not...

Some people our age do think 'old' and some of us think 'young', you just have to find someone who thinks the same way as you do.. Some of us think it's all over and will settle for someone they are not suited to just to not be alone.. IMO that's a recipe for disaster.. Physical attraction is still important to me.. I love that i can watch my husband walk across the room and think..YUMMM i'm gonna have some of that later... He may not be everyones cup of tea, but he is MY cup of tea....

More than 4 years since we met (on this site) I still get butterflies in my tummy when he comes home form work, we still hold hands when we sit on the lounge watching TV, we still send each other the most tender loving messages throughout the day by text... Too late for us?? I think not!!
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 183
Delusional Expecting to find Love at this age?
Posted: 5/20/2011 8:03:19 AM
Dare to....that's inspirational! Congratulations and may you experience a life time of happiness and joys! Thank you for sharing!
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