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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > People who don't post their jobs.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 51
People who don't post their jobs.Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
It could be for a number of reasons. Obviously, they value their privacy. They don't feel that everyone and their dog on pof, deserve to know what they do for work. And I have a tendency to agree if that's their sentiment. I think that's probably the paramount reason. Some people are so judgemental these days, to the point where some will rule you out as a possible match just based on your job. If they do that, their probably just a pompass a$$ who does not deserve the time of day from the other person. But it can still be rather upsetting that some people would judge someone and rule them out just because of that, sometimes without having ever met them in person.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 52
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 2:33:35 PM
I feel that when I'm just meeting a woman- I'm not in a job interview....

Who cares when we first meet what my job is?

I don't care what a womans' job is- because usually the women are not as successful as I have been.

So why should I worry about a woman wanting to know what I do, per se? Am I supposed to be competing with men who are more successful than me?

If so fine...

But you're not the woman for me.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 53
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 2:43:16 PM
The majority of people who read your profile won't find that information useful. Generally all that matters is that you are employed. What your job is and the details of it are for people you actually date long enough for it to be relevant.

Some people are just private about stuff like that. And that's their choice.
 Pilose_Wink
Joined: 11/2/2010
Msg: 54
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 3:31:35 PM
On my previous profile, it was (Adult day care), because that seems to be what I do for most of the day.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 55
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 3:59:08 PM

Just to clarify, does that mean if the woman WAS just as successful as you, that you would be interested in her career? But otherwise you're not interested, I read for that that you feel it's beneath you? That seems more than a little condescending IMO, but either way, if such is the case, then obviously it IS important to you to some degree.




actually I had been married to a gal that was an MBA gal....

I was impressed at first, however after her and other women I've known that were educated and ''successful"" career-wise...

I am no longer impressed...

has nothing to do with beneath me- its just that a "career" is not what makes a good relationship....
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 56
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History
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 4:05:36 PM
There can be a variety of reasons. One might be that you're in a profession where people tend to make assumptions about you that you'd rather they didn't until they got to know you. Another reason is that you don't want someone's interest in you hinging on your perceived economic or social status.

When I meet someone, I prefer not to talk about things like jobs, education, or religion. I want to know what they are like as a person without all that and I want to experience me as a person first without all that.

I'm fine with it or keeping it vague.

 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 57
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 5:01:20 PM
Maybe all the do is work as a cashier or the fry person at mcdonalds? It's not like that's something you want to brag on.So long as they don't want you to support them then what do you care?
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 58
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 5:32:21 PM
Maybe all the do is work as a cashier or the fry person at mcdonalds? It's not like that's something you want to brag on


Low blow for those who work at said places and ARE holding down a job that pays honest money to help feed their children and pay rent.

Don't be prejudicial and invidious. God forbid you're ever in that position.

OT: if anyone asks what my job is, I tell them.
 umbrellaman21
Joined: 9/21/2010
Msg: 59
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 6:14:39 PM

I used to have Rodeo Clown/Fortune Cookie Writer for profession but I swear (NO JOKE HERE) I constantly had gals writing all excited wanting me to tell them about my life as a rodeo clown


You have to admit though, you do kind of look like a rodeo clown, because they sometimes have that trademark beard stubble....minus the clown nose and some of that make-up. Looks like half-the work of putting on the make-up is already done. :)

Maybe that's why they took that profession seriously. lol

I'm wondering if I should put some kind of novelty mock job profession in that spot myself.


Maybe all the do is work as a cashier or the fry person at mcdonalds? It's not like that's something you want to brag on


In THIS economy, it's not uncommon to find people in these kinds of positions actually (ones who have, past tense, held high salaried positions), so maybe it's becoming more par for the course?
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 60
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 6:16:18 PM
Well, on the positive side if someone posts his/her career and how important it is, then it's easy to forget about it and move on to the next. There's no way that I'd date or start a relationship with somebody who hardly has any time to invest in the relationship in the first place. It even makes you wonder how they can find time for dating at all.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 61
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 7:02:51 PM
Low blow for those who work at said places and ARE holding down a job that pays honest money to help feed their children and pay rent.

Don't be prejudicial and invidious. God forbid you're ever in that position.


It was not meant as a low blow or an insult at all.I have worked at those jobs in the past and the reactions you get from people is not one of being impressed.In fact they usually look at you as less then them and talk to like you are not trying hard enough.Of course it's honest work and my hats off to anyone who is physically capable and trying their hardest to make money at whatever job they can get.People can be real condescending shts though and will throw things like that in your face when it suits them.


I don't think that's how she meant it, Irish Eyez. There are simply some jobs we don't neccessarily want to brag about. After 6 years of online dating I have found (especially here on POF), that I immeadiately go "Next!", when I see a profile where the man clearly states, that he is only interested in professional, career-oriented women. I was a mother/housewife for over 20 years & am now disabled/retired. Someone who judges your worth based on money, is not going to find me a suitable match, regardless of how compatible we might otherwise be.


Thank you michealann you got what I was sayin.People will judge you on where you work what you make and if you work at all.

 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 62
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 7:22:38 PM
"you would be surprised at how many women have offered to pay extra for their turtle to get a manicure"

Now,I would pay money to see that!

I really don't care much what people do for a living
I do want to know if they enjoy what they do for a living

Nothing more miserable than going on a date with a guy
who hates his job or his life in general

Of course the ones that make careers up as they go
are the ones who are the most miserable, one day they are
producers, the next they are doctors, pilots, marines
They don't even like themselves hard for others to do so.

I've seen the profile of a guy I went out with for coffee on another
dating site he is now a Phd in economics, funny a month ago, when I met him he was
a veterinarian, I guess ONE can always be more succesful than our dates
if One is making everything up
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 63
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 7:28:22 PM
I have a couple of jokes as my profession as well, but I also have my real job posted.

I love the emails I get in reference to me being a bloodsucker.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 64
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 10:07:55 PM
Ray:

Why make fun of people who work in service industry jobs? I work in an office in the Real Estate business (support staff) and then work at a big box chain as a cashier. I don't ever look down on people who bust their tails working in retail. From the Greeters to Management everyone works extremely hard. Don't knock something you haven't tried.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 65
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 10:10:10 PM
It could be that they have a job in a sensitive sector where confidentiality is prudent

It could be that they are ashamed of their job, or that they don't want to be seen to be boasting, or they feel that it would either be off-putting, or for any number of reasons...

Or maybe they just want you to want to get to know them for who they are, not for what they do
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 66
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/13/2010 10:26:41 PM

Why make fun of people who work in service industry jobs? I work in an office in the Real Estate business (support staff) and then work at a big box chain as a cashier. I don't ever look down on people who bust their tails working in retail. From the Greeters to Management everyone works extremely hard. Don't knock something you haven't tried.


I refer you to post 77.I have explained more what I meant there.
 E_keys
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 67
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/14/2010 12:05:57 AM
This thread proves that you can't avoid being categorized. If someone wants to judge based on your job, they will do that; or classify you as someone with "something to hide" as suits them, if you post an explicit evasion.

Since we expect people to discriminate SOMEHOW when fishing, rather than email every person in their 25 nearest zip codes, we should get that this is a selection process that is working well - but with flaws, as where folks have said they need to be more anonymous with their posted info.

My profession in my NY zip code is a little too much info, too. Once when I had an ad in craigslist, a co-worker saw it and mentioned it to another co-worker I was friends with. I felt pretty weird at thinking of co-workers finding me up on the auction block like that.

I relate best to people who will talk to me about their job and have an interest in it. If they "work to live" and have nothing to say about where they spend their day, that's a huge mismatch for me. Conversation with me will uncover this very early.

It's ironic because while certain kinds of jobs will get my interest, I don't think men care too much about women's careers or work days. I think there's a tendency for career women moreso than others to want to be valued for what we "do".

We don't understand that we should post what we "are", wearing as few clothes as possible, to really get a man's attention. If we can add sassy smarts on top of that, they'll say it's a plus - but they don't care too much exactly what our career is.

Speaking of being a nurse - I have a friend who just found a new GF online somewhere and she's a reproductive nurse. He was saying to me happily, "There's advantages to dating a reproductive nurse!"
 umbrellaman21
Joined: 9/21/2010
Msg: 68
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/14/2010 9:02:42 AM
Actually, the only thing that concerns me about what I see posted about a job is "mom" and that's it. I'm thinking "Okay, she's a single mother, and she doesn't work." hmmm.

Granted she might be in some kind of transitional phase and hopefully looking for a job.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 69
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/14/2010 12:03:46 PM

That's one possibility. The other one that occurrs to me, is that she wants to be a stay-at-home mother, is open to either a man with children, or to having more, or both. And she wants to attract a man, who is looking for exactly that type of woman.


For long term...I want me one of these....Yet one of these that doesn't just wanna sit at home and eat bon-bon's all day and watch her soaps and Oprah.

At the same time- I'd like one of these that is intelligent, appreciates and embraces what she is doing. Is content and happy and is an excellent compliment to me. A woman who is also smart enough to help me be successful in the ventures I choose to provide for her and my family.

One who does not resent the fact that she is a stay at home mom/wife even though that is what she chose.

One who doesn't throw it in a guy's face that she works sooo hard and one that is not a drama queen.

Taking applications!
 newreality2010
Joined: 10/29/2010
Msg: 70
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History
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/14/2010 2:42:40 PM
WoW. I am a stay at home mom but I am not going to take offense to this.

When I was married, it was our plan to have a sahm until both kids are in school.
Even tho the stbx and I aren't together anymore doesn't mean we don't still agree on some things.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 71
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/14/2010 2:57:32 PM

When I was married, it was our plan to have a sahm until both kids are in school.
Even tho the stbx and I aren't together anymore doesn't mean we don't still agree on some things.




I'd like one of these that is intelligent



no need to take offense at all. not all stay home mom reflect that. however, if the shoe fits, wear it- if not...no need to shine the torch of offense by general proximity.

just because.
 IHateBarstars
Joined: 11/6/2010
Msg: 72
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/14/2010 7:26:43 PM
I don't post my job because I'd rather not allow what I do be a factor in whether someone will message me. If it's relevant, such as a conversation point of "hey we work in the industry!" then sure, I'll tell you but using it as a first impression tool is a good way to attract someone who might just use you.
 ~Azul Ojos~
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 73
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/14/2010 7:26:50 PM
I don't post my job title either... but I do give a clue...

It shouldn't define who I am though...

I have noticed that some insecure guys when I have mentioned via telephone conversations get a little nervous....

I don't bring my work home, or think about it when considering a significant other. The 'behavorism training' is insignificant.............
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 74
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/15/2010 7:51:07 AM
I don't, because I don't have one. I'm retired. I alternate between what I am and "chop wood/carry water." I *do* think that to some degree, a job is some indicator of part of how a person deals with the Universe. I'd be reluctant to rule out someone who was *otherwise* interesting based on an "ask me" or "tell you later" response. However, it hasn't to date been a problem: those who use those phrases have, again to this date, not managed to be interesting enough in their main profile that I've had to make a choice.

I prolly make some assumptions (don't we all?); e.g., I generally guess that the guy/gal listing "transport" is either a truck driver or a bus driver. I also know that all else being equal, I don't really care, up front. If somebuddy indicated "ditch digger" I'd be fascinated. Doctors' minds don't interest me too much; lawyers' do.

There are areas/professions/jobs that because of my own life experience I know are not going to mesh well with me. Accountants for the most part, engineers (electrical especially), finance and business types. The mindsets that are drawn to these professions do not normally make me happy; flip side is that for some reason I am often attractive to *them.* On the other hand, I find the sciences rather beguiling (dost hope to pick their brains somewhat): physicists, mathematicians, plant scientists. . . . IT guys also have interesting mindsets.

And I admit I am an absolute fool for a really cute made up profession, lol! Even started a thread on the subject once (quickly deleted).

Summation: how a peep deals with that little slot is another piece of information to be integrated with the rest. Helps our pickers work a bit better if we choose. Some sites ask for political persuasion, and that would be a bigger help to me. . . .


 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 75
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History
People who don't post their jobs.
Posted: 11/15/2010 8:13:21 AM

Summation: how a peep deals with that little slot is another piece of information to be integrated with the rest.
Exactly! What a person does isn’t nearly as important as how they feel about doing it… I couldn’t care less if you were flinging burgers for a living if that supported you in your lifestyle and made you happy. I’ve met people that actually did that and had an upbeat, cheery attitude about it, as well as being able to sustain their lifestyle on that budget. I’ve also come across people that held degrees and worked at jobs they despised so one cannot rely on that alone...

As for myself, I dabble at this and that and perform a wide variety of functions in the office I work in… most telling though is that I respect and admire the owner of the company I work for and I’ve earned his respect and admiration over the years as well. How does one put that in a little slot to be evaluated?
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