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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 26
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texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Wanna be amazed?!
I've never texted in my life!
I have a pre-paid cell phone.....that absolutely no one has the number to!
I have it for when I am driving long distances....and for winter driving.
I work from home.....so if you need to reach me......call!
If I'm not at home.....I'm most likely at the Vet's Grounds that I volunteer at.
All my family and friends have the phone number.
If I'm not there........and I haven't told you where I'll be......I don't want to be found or
bothered!!
I am truly amazed at how many people cannot even get through the grocery store
without thier phone going off 3 or 9 times!
Yes, I understand there are times when they are needed......
but you will never convince me that a teenager needs a cell phone with unlimited
texting, internet and all the bells and whistles.
Let alone the costs of such things!!
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 27
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 1:39:32 PM
^^^
And this, ladies and germs, is how all of us survived back in the day. Everyone did just fine before cell phones.
I'm jealous of you but if I ditched my phone now... Sheesh, I can't even think how mad people would be at me.


Not picking on the author here,,,but THIS is exactley what the kids of today are saying. Busy????? Busy doing what????? And what the hell are we soooooooo busy doing as adults that we can't pick up a phone to make a call if we need. The verbal word is soooooooooo much more easier to understand and comprehend,when done correctly. That IS the point of communication,,,is it not??????

Too busy to talk on the phone a few minutes, but NOT too busy to sit and compose text messages? I can do some things while talking if I'm busy, but texting consumes 100% of my attention while I compose the message.

I get what you're saying and I agree with it, but Pit's take is probably along the majority these days.

Bad news, it's getting worse, as the parents of teenagers well know.

Stupid phones...
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 28
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 1:44:03 PM
^^^^ we all survived back in the day before electricity, phones, cars,
refridgerators, television and radio.
Everyone did just fine back then too.
But who wants to go to back then?

It's all relative for pete's sake. I'm sure when a family got their first
car people complained how pop wasn't home much anymore.
Everything in moderation...including modern technology.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 29
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 1:46:51 PM

so my question is primarily for the generation that's grown up with text messaging: do you choose this means because of habit? or are there tonal issues that reinforce the use of text? that is, is texting considered more appropriate for certain stages of courtship? are people who prefer calling waving some kind of red flag?

My SO and I text often ~ even when we could be talking on the phone if we wanted to do so. I guess that means it's not generational to us.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 30
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 1:48:20 PM

Everything in moderation...including modern technology.



The problem is with people then, because most ive seen, have no self control.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 31
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 2:14:27 PM

But who wants to go to back then?

I don't, but I can still laude how dependent we are on phones.

I used to have dozens of phone numbers memorized. Now, maybe three. So, if I lost my phone, I'd not be able to call anyone until I could get on verizon(dot)com to check my contact lists. People act like it's the "end of the world" if their phone is gone!

Not only that, people use phones irresponsibly and it does have a negative social and economic impact; kids crashing cars while texting, no one paying attention in school (not like everyone did before but it's worse now)...
Hell, if I'm lucky, I get five minutes of my boss's undivided attention in meetings SHE called to talk to me, because she's fiddling around with her Crackberry the whole time with work based emails, IM's, etc. So in one hour, we get five minutes of actual face to face where she can actually hear what I'm saying in response to a question. Even SHE knows this "optional" Crackberry has messed things up, but she is required to carry one according to the unwritten rule around here, and so it goes on like this.
I bet before cell phones got all techno on us, I could get more than five minutes of her time.
Jus sayin.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 32
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texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 2:42:32 PM

I don't, but I can still laude how dependent we are on phones.

I used to have dozens of phone numbers memorized. Now, maybe three. So, if I lost my phone, I'd not be able to call anyone until I could get on verizon(dot)com to check my contact lists. People act like it's the "end of the world" if their phone is gone!

Not only that, people use phones irresponsibly and it does have a negative social and economic impact; kids crashing cars while texting, no one paying attention in school (not like everyone did before but it's worse now)...


Yep, hence all the Facebook groups: "Help! X lost their phone and needs numbers please!"

I can't STAND people who use their phone, be it to call or text someone or whatever, whilst driving. At my old school, one of our best science teachers got hit by a van driver while she was driving on her way to school one morning. He was on his phone, not paying attention and so therefore didn't see her.
He got out with barely a scratch on him. Our teacher, on the other hand, was brain damaged, spent weeks in intensive care, had damaged vision so she can no longer read/write/watch TV properly... her quality of life was dramatically reduced, all because this guy decided to use his phone whilst driving.
So when I started driving lessons, my phone was in my bag, switched off, in the back seat of the car.

Totally with you on people not paying attention in class. Some of my classes at uni put all the notes on the website. Others, on the other hand, put nothing up whatsoever, so if you don't pay attention and take notes, you're screwed. But still, you do get a lot of students playing on their laptops/checking Facebook or whatever during lectures. (One friend of mine saw someone in their lecture, who was stupid enough to sit at the front of the class and watch porn on their laptop. If you're going to do that, at least sit at the back so not all of the 150 people sat behind you can see what you're doing. )
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 33
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 5:18:11 PM
With me, and I'm 20 twice now, I like texting because I like concise conversation, and because I don't like to be tied to my phone. I find people have a habit of not getting to the point when they call. I'm almost always somewhere I can't talk because it's too quiet or too loud, or I'm already talking to someone else, so texts work well for me most of the time.

I'd question a couple things about the statement in quote above...
- Is one 20 minute phone call more or less intruding than a dozen text messages spread out over significantly more time? I would think I can accomplish the same thing with 20 minutes worth of phone time vs. having to stop what I'm doing to compose a text. Plus, if I don't get around to texting, will "she" get mad or wonder if I still like her until she gets my reply?

It's more intruding unless you plan for it and have nothing else going on while it's happening. Otherwise, you're trying to get other stuff done and can't really focus on other stuff. If you date a girl who expects you to respond to every text right away when texting is supposed to be about convenience, that's on her.

- Sometimes, I find myself on the road, or going for a walk, and texting is too hard, or, more intrusive, than a phone call. I'd rather talk in those cases.

Unless someone's walking with me or sitting in my car, I'd rather skip the phone text AND call, and enjoy the walk/ride.

- If phone calls are intruding, how about personal one on one interactions?

That's better than the phone. You can sit, talk and you can drink and eat while talking without having to hold a phone/try and decipher your blue tooth. As much as I hate the phone, I also hate using it when I'm with someone - unless I am with friends and one is running late, most of my friends put phones away when we get together (though I have a couple who are addicts and can't stop watching, texting and zoning out over the phone in person - and it's pretty annoying).

Wouldn't you rather set up a time to hang out with someone over the phone?

Nope, in person is better. I'll talk to someone on the phone though to seal up a plan to meet in person, so long as they can keep it quick.

Case in point, my gf showed up at my house way too early due to mis-understanding of a text I sent her. We both laughed about it, but it would have much easier to talk about it and I could have specified the details better.

Totally agree. The phone is a great way to clear up tentative plans or let someone know something's changed so long as they don't talk to you for 20 minutes to get to that point.

I don't know, just about every job I've had since I was like 13 has been dealing with the public all day (and night at times), so when I'm off the clock and someone calls, I want them to state their case so I can hang up, lol. I like enjoying people when I'm up to it, but I like my downtime - and random phone calls tend to interrupt that.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 34
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 5:35:22 PM
Progress brings up good points about the problem with cels that are attached to our hips. People now have an expectation for instant contact or replies. I've always assumed that's what voice mail is for. I have two cels,,,one workey,one personal, and I have had enough stares at me when at work and I just let the phone go to voice mail without answering or even looking who is calling.

How dare I???????? Easily,,,,
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 35
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 6:10:57 PM

I work in sales and spend half my day on the phone, it is the last thing I want to do at night.


I think that's a pretty reasonable explanation.
 StarshipNarrator
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 36
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texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 6:59:49 PM

so my question is primarily for the generation that's grown up with text messaging: do you choose this means because of habit? or are there tonal issues that reinforce the use of text? that is, is texting considered more appropriate for certain stages of courtship? are people who prefer calling waving some kind of red flag?


I'm 21 and I actually despise phone texting. I don't even have a cell phone mainly because I see no use for one right now in my life. The reason phone texting is hideous to me is because it makes people my age seem robotic and seemingly unaware of their surroundings. In college, it's often unnerving to see men and women walking directly toward me or off in the distance and texting at the same time. Personally, the physical aspect of texting is overly meticulous. So my thoughts are "How the **** do they text and walk at the same time" and "Who the **** is so important that you need to be plastered to that thing?".

People text during class and the tapping of their fingernails on the screen is loud enough to nag me. It baffles me that both the teacher AND the syllabus state clearly to put that horseshit away and people still don't get it . Of course, perhaps that's unavoidable in some circumstance to the individual but I sometimes figure why not get everything squared away beforehand. However, cell phones aren't solely to blame for how people are always 'hooked in'. With the development of countless applications to 'smartphones' or cell phones comes even more distraction for the user. Gizmodo.com keeps updates of the best apps you can have per month and the output of these things are ridiculous.

I grew up on the old-fashioned corded home phone and cordless home phone. They kick cell phones' ass any day of the week. The communication is human and not digitized which is something so many 20-somethings fear nowadays.

In terms of courtship stages and texting I think it's 'appropriate' if two people start out online and try to integrate into meeting in person. It's inevitable since text is how you communicate online. Still, it's possible to get creative and implement webcams so the connection is as natural as it can be. However, it should never be the centerpiece of how people communicate in a relationship. Again, this goes back to cell phones not being the sole culprit of people being glued to their phones. With the influence of Facebook and Twitter people broadcast their relationships inadvertently and willingly. Put simply, I think those two ****ers are too powerful because 'everybody is doing it' (mostly). It baffles me how some people my age can start and maintain a relationship that heavily relies on texting/apps and put up with keeping tabs on each other all the time. I couldn't do it because I need to disappear for a while and be left alone to be sane if I'm involved romantically with anyone.

Lastly, I make it clear that I prefer to verbally talk instead of text to any woman who I'm getting to know. Usually that's a red flag to them because they hate talking on the phone to begin with. I don't see myself waiving a red flag but marching proudly with a blue, inviting flag that says 'Verbal communication, dammit'.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 37
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 7:02:25 PM

Yup, the parents of today are raising a bunch of social misfits who have no idea how to interact face to face anymore. Well done, parents.


Paradigm shift ...

My son has a learning disability in English. Using msn, facbook and texting was an absolute bonus, as it picked up his writing skills and made him feel more confident.

Don't be so black and white, there is always a gray area.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 38
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 7:32:54 PM
I rely heavily on texting, as do all of my children and my 20something husband. We carry on several conversations at once, or one extremely short one. We may be texting while on the phone. My daughter sat at the table with friends while each had multiple calls, text messsages and their lap tops going on a game on facebook while easily relating to each other. None of my children, nor their friends, nor my husband who does all this multi-tech stuff in two languages (I do, too, but more slowly) and my daughter's local friends do this bi-lingually, perhaps tri-lingually, and they have international internet friends teaching them other lanuages in this process. It is amazing to watch.

Publicly, they do their class speeches, work at social projects, coach kids younger than them, do excelled in college.cheerleading and other booster and leadership activities. The older ones have become entrpreneurs, engaged in dangerous and dirty adrenaline jobs, gone vagbonding, and excelled in college.

Studies say one thing, real life says something else.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 39
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/22/2010 9:35:47 PM
Im 30.....but i actually dug texting when i first discovered it around 2006. I actually knew people much older than me, late 30's and 40's that did NOTHING but text and i kinda outgrew them and our pourely textual relationship. Now i couldnt be bothered to text if i was paid to do it. It wa a flash in the pan fad for me.
 eastbelle
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 40
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/26/2010 5:00:32 PM
I prefer texting in some circumstances. If I'm busy at my job or with other tasks, I may not be able to have a 10-15 minute phone conversation. But I can send a few quick texts. Also sometimes I may be at a place that's very loud. Therefore I wouldn't be able to hear the other person on the phone.
 sweetiepie1618
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 41
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/28/2010 8:06:17 AM
I definitely think emailing or messaging someone on here takes a lot of the pressure off. If you email someone and they are not interested, they can just delete your message or reply back with no thanks. I think that would be easier to take than if you took the effort to go up to someone and had them reject you. It's definitely a lot more nerve-wracking.

If a guy I was talking to was to pick up the phone and call me I would be thrilled. I love talking to someone I am interested in on the phone, it's more personal. It's not waving any kind of red flag to me at all. Unless this is someone who you have previously rejected and they keep bugging you to give them a chance. That can be a tad creepy.

But all in all, I think emailing, instant messaging or texting someone has become the safer less anxiety causing way to contact someone. I know I get butterflies or really nervous when I am calling a guy I may potentially meet for the first time.
 ConsensualViolation
Joined: 11/24/2010
Msg: 42
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 11/30/2010 8:23:51 PM

anyone who's spent any time on these boards knows communication issues are a huge part of the success or failure of the courtship dance, and that people frequently get completely muddled while making the least effective form of communication - written - their first choice.

so my question is primarily for the generation that's grown up with text messaging: do you choose this means because of habit? or are there tonal issues that reinforce the use of text? that is, is texting considered more appropriate for certain stages of courtship? are people who prefer calling waving some kind of red flag?


I text as a quick, short little messages to make a quick (and not overly "important" or time sensitive) connection with someone - even if it's one way.

"I've missed you terribly" "I just called, hope you weren't in bed - if so, goodnight!" "I'm thinking of having everyone up Dec 18th-20th" being a few of my most recent messages.
But no, I am not "addicted" to texting. I call people regularly, and the ones who aren't that close or need constant encouragement I simply text to keep the connection alive.

Hope that helps answer some questions you were having!

-Jeremy
 AndrewCD
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 43
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 12/24/2010 9:42:10 AM
Personally I hate texting. I generally avoid it. Maybe that's part of why I haven't had much luck staying with anything for too long. All the women I meet text all the time and send me all sorts of texts, to which I'll normally respond with a phone call if it's more than a one sentence response. They don't seem to understand it when I tell them I don't like text messages. I see text messages as impersonal. I prefer to talk on the phone, and when I talk on the phone it's usually about setting up plans to meet somewhere. I seem to be the rare exception of people my age in that most are impersonal drones attached to their phone.
 letsgocanes11
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 44
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 12/24/2010 10:25:13 AM
In this day in age. People my age would rather text than talk on the phone for various reasons. Mine being that I don't want a girl to eat up my minutes. I know it's cheap but if you really want to talk to me then make the effort to set aside time to see me in person. It's really not that hard. Plus I do not do the long distance thing so communication is not vital.

I once dated a girl that would call me every day when she got off from work. It would be every day at 7. I do not get unlimited minutes until 9. She would talk to me for at least an hour and a half. I would just listen....kind of. There were times I would rush her off the phone. If you have time to talk to someone for an hour and a half every day you can have time to see them for 10-20 minutes in person. Text messages are more straight forward and to the point. Me and this girl are no longer together though so.............
 letsgocanes11
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 45
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 12/24/2010 10:30:19 AM
I actually remember looking at my phone bill with 20 days today I had 10 minutes left. It wasn't funny at the time but I look back at it now and laugh. Texting is the way to go for me unless a girl really wants to hear my voice or has something very important to tell me. But again, if it is something very important making the time to see me and tell me in person. I can do the same........
 Beatitudine_dolce
Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 46
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 12/24/2010 1:03:15 PM
Personally i love texting i find it to be a faster way of communication rather sitting on the phone with someone. Texting to me gives me the ability to multitask i can do so many things while texting. Most people to me get on the phone and start to talk & within a few minutes they become silent i see it as a waste of time. But i have nothing against blowing some time talking on the phone as long as the person I'm talking to can hold a good conversation
 greenpark1
Joined: 12/14/2010
Msg: 47
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 12/25/2010 12:18:28 PM

I prefer texting in some circumstances. If I'm busy at my job or with other tasks, I may not be able to have a 10-15 minute phone conversation. But I can send a few quick texts. Also sometimes I may be at a place that's very loud. Therefore I wouldn't be able to hear the other person on the phone.


I agree. Texting can be good in the some situations. But I'm not a constant texter.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 48
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 12/25/2010 12:47:38 PM

I may not be able to have a 10-15 minute phone conversation. But I can send a few quick texts.


What a totally ridiculous and stupid statement. Sending a few "quick" texts during the day takes up probably 10-15 minutes, but the person can't spare 10-15 minutes to talk to a real person on a real phone. If I was dating a text-aholic and she said she didn't have 10-15 minutes to spare to talk to me either by phone or in real life, I would quickly tell her where to shove her text messages.

What I find just as aggravating are the mindless text zombies that are wandering around in public. These are the idiots that are texting while they're walking in a public place-the mall, on the street, etc. They are staring straight down hypnotized by the screen, have no idea of their surroundings and how many people they are about to bump into, while doing the twitching finger dance. I've seen them crossing streets with on-coming traffic, and they have no clue that their lives are in danger because they're in a totally different world-the spaced out crazy world of text messaging. If one of the ten thousand messages you get each day is so important to respond to immediately, stop where you are, do the text message dance, then continue on with life. Simple. Even wild animals have more common sense than at text freak.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 49
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 12/25/2010 1:24:06 PM

What a totally ridiculous and stupid statement.

What a huge overreaction to a general statement.

Sending a few "quick" texts during the day takes up probably 10-15 minutes, but the person can't spare 10-15 minutes to talk to a real person on a real phone.

1. Cell phones are real, people who use phones tend to be real as well. Just sayin'.
2. While some may be able to talk 10-15 minutes at times, one is not always in the best situation to stop and have a 10-15 minute conversation at any given moment of the day or day of the week (without yelling if it's too loud, interrupting others if it's too quiet, or having to stop doing other things if busy). I can talk for 10-15 minutes (if it's productive), but to JUST STOP and talk for 10-15 minutes (which a lot of people for some reason tend to prefer you do...) and do nothing else? Not always convenient or easy.
3. If I add up all my texting for the day from dusk till dawn I might hit 10 minutes, but it's doubtful.

If I was dating a text-aholic and she said she didn't have 10-15 minutes to spare to talk to me either by phone or in real life, I would quickly tell her where to shove her text messages.

Not sure where you got "textaholic" from out of someone who said they can send a text here and there when a call's not easy to place. I wasn't aware that people who sometimes prefer a quick text here and there were categorized as "textaholics". Sure, someone who can't get anything else done due to texting is a person to avoid...a person who sends a couple texts a day isn't on that level.

I don't mind if a person sends texts when it's easier to do so, as I don't expect an SO to put his life on hold at random to stroke my ego. I don't want to date a guy who can do nothing BUT text either, but I'm not sure anyone actually referred to that specifically as ok.
 greenpark1
Joined: 12/14/2010
Msg: 50
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 12/25/2010 7:16:49 PM
What a totally ridiculous and stupid statement. Sending a few "quick" texts during the day takes up probably 10-15 minutes, but the person can't spare 10-15 minutes to talk to a real person on a real phone. If I was dating a text-aholic and she said she didn't have 10-15 minutes to spare to talk to me either by phone or in real life, I would quickly tell her where to shove her text messages.


Sending a few texts might take me 5 minutes at the most. Besides the poster you quoted didn't say that he or she never had time for a phone call. Just during certain situations such as work.
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