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 dawntreader10
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 51
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I'm a hair past 29, but I will answer anyway. I will furnish my own wet noodle. I HATE phone chat. Loooove texting.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 52
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 12/28/2010 6:01:21 AM
I don't like texting, what ever happened to talking on the phone? I use texting to communicate with a friend who is hearing impaired. Men who want to email or text make me think they are too insecure to talk on the phone. An occasional text would be fine if we are dating, but anyone who wants to use texting as a way to get to know me prior to dating needs to bother someone else.
 Theophannia
Joined: 5/7/2010
Msg: 53
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 3/4/2011 7:13:08 PM
I am 25, I do not give out my number, and I don't text. I would PREFER talking on the phone, however since i pay my own phone bill and I don't have unlimited text OR minutes, I tend to prefer IM. However, when its a choice between texting or phone, I prefer phone as it's easy to misunderstand text. Unless its just something like, hey were are we meeting? Insert place name, end of converstation.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 54
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 3/5/2011 5:07:32 PM

we are all very busy these days.


Apparently not too busy to text 24/7/365.

- I understand the shyness.
- I understand be unfamiliar with area codes or phone protocol/etiquette.

But it's just BS when you say you are too busy when you have time to send 100 texts a day, I don't care how fast you type. Sure, texting is quicker - but the message is LOST.

Turn off the Internet, turn off the cable TV, sit your ass down, dial a number and TALK.

Do you really need to watch that SATC repeat for the 40th time, when someone would LOVE to hear your voice?

People used to get their laundry started, have a quick phone call, and finish just as the laundry was ready. That's called time-management, and that's how busy people become not so busy.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 55
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 3/5/2011 5:11:46 PM

But i have nothing against blowing some time talking on the phone as long as the person I'm talking to can hold a good conversation


I don't want to assume anything, so I'm going to ask you directly:

1) Do you consider your stream of texts to be the equivalent of a "good conversation".

2) Do you hold your text messages to a lesser standard than voice communication?
- i.e. because it's only a text, you don't require complete thoughts, deep discussions, or even continuity between each text?

Please answer honestly.
 ShellLadySD
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 56
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 3/5/2011 8:50:49 PM
Certainly not a 20-something here.

I think texting adds to our communication arsenal.

Personally I hate chatting on the phone or text; much prefer email or in person. BUT I love text for quick messages that aren't time sensitive, or when I'm in a public place and don't want a live convo.

I like the phone for quick communication, like where I am or when you'll be there. But the wireless technology makes good phone reception kinda iffy at times, even using a landline.

So let's keep it short and meet in person over a cup of coffee, a glass of wine or a great meal so we can have both aural and visual communication. I put a lot of confidence in body language. I like being able to see your eyes.

And I call BS on the peeps who say we're raising illiterates. I watch my kids use all the tools they have really well, including face to face. They rock. I'm excited for where we're going as the human race.
 ALMOSTABLONDE
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 57
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 3/8/2011 5:27:06 AM
as an older chick, I find texting CAN be sneaky. I have a young co-worker who does it all the time at her desk while she is supposed to be working...she also happens to be a master of manipulation...but I'm sure people use it other ways...like married men who cheat text so they can communicate w/o their wife overhearing their plans to meet the "other woman"...I do not trust a middle aged man who texts alot...in fact I had a friend who met a guy who only texted her never called, needless to say he disappeared after they had a couple of encounters. I told her something was FISHY & she kept saying no, it was cheaper for him, bla bla bla...if you can't afford to call me, you can't afford to F*CK me is my motto, LOL

so after hearing what went down w/ her, it made sense. not to say all middle aged men who text are cheaters

all this technology, as another friend who is happily married says "it's just a new way to do an old sin"
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 58
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 3/8/2011 10:00:37 AM

Apparently not too busy to text 24/7/365.

- I understand the shyness.
- I understand be unfamiliar with area codes or phone protocol/etiquette.

You're generous. I don't understand that at all. I understand fear of someone not liking you or wanting to talk to you, but once all that's established and you have a (valid) number in your hand, why would anyone STILL be shy about talking in any capacity?

But it's just BS when you say you are too busy when you have time to send 100 texts a day, I don't care how fast you type. Sure, texting is quicker - but the message is LOST.

I agree with this. I don't like talking on the phone as I don't have time to. I also don't have time to send 100 texts. I just don't have time to do more than send the bottom line information most of the time.

Turn off the Internet, turn off the cable TV, sit your ass down, dial a number and TALK.
Do you really need to watch that SATC repeat for the 40th time, when someone would LOVE to hear your voice?

Agreed here too, but many of us don't really do one thing at a time anymore, not really.

People used to get their laundry started, have a quick phone call, and finish just as the laundry was ready. That's called time-management, and that's how busy people become not so busy.

True, but while on the phone, sitting there isn't the best form of time management ever...how about after the laundry's in and while on the phone you cook dinner and/or do other things around the house? THAT's time management. I have no problem talking to someone so long as the call's not extremely long and I don't have to stop everything while the call's taking place.
 CompuG8r
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 60
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 3/15/2011 7:35:08 PM

But all in all, I think emailing, instant messaging or texting someone has become the safer less anxiety causing way to contact someone.

There's a lot more to using phones these days than just texting.

Today's 20 somethings chat,e-mail, Twitter, Facebook, POF Forum, blog and many other things on their phones.

I wager that most of the things the young folks do with their phones can't be done by placing a call at all.

When most of your communication is done with a keyboard, and that's the way your friends communicate too, it seems logical to prefer texting in your personal communications.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the younger folks, they just communicate differently.

I say "Text on."
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 61
texting vs. calling
Posted: 3/22/2011 9:46:57 AM
^^^^I agree with this, and I'm adding:
Or you can have a quick phone conversation, which means get to the point and hang up.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 62
texting vs. calling
Posted: 3/22/2011 10:13:38 AM
In a dating environment, I am okay with texting once a connection has been made.

There are some people who click well on a first date, so texting works. However this has only happened to me once.

There are some who don't and texting is the death of any future relationship.

The relationships I had where it worked were ones where we used the phone to set up dates and talked on the phone regularly which led to regular dates.

I don't recommend texting. I don't recommend MSN.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 63
texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 12:06:39 AM
I guess I must have missed the memo where people keep in contact after the first date with texting. I dated this one person for a couple of weeks. .and I really wished it would have worked out. He only would text me, and email me through this website. .but at the beginning, said I could call or text him anytime I wanted. Then, when we had seen each other a couple of times, he said that he liked texting because he never had time to sit on the phone, that he was always doing something. Is this the new way of dating now? It seems a couple of years back, people actually called in between dates. It's good to establish up front . .that you don't like texting. . .
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 64
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texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 2:14:02 AM
My main reaction to receiving a text from an individual (as opposed to an automated one), is to be a little insulted. Thankfully, I don't get many, but when I do, it is from an immature person....100% of the time. I don't think it is just a coincidence. Immaturity and poor communication/social skills go hand-in-hand.

I have a very simple policy towards them...I don't send a reply text.

Either I phone them to discuss the contents of their text, or I ignore it. If it's important, they will eventually learn how to successfully communicate with me.

I simply refuse to be a willing participant in this race to the bottom.

Holy shit...McLuhan was absolutely right.... “the medium IS the message".

Technology has made us lazy, sloppy communicators, and you don't have to look hard to find the proof. The content of a text is obvious, but Gore Vidal said he could tell when a book had been written on a word processor.

If the medium is the message, then it is the more complex, less convenient rituals of communicating that will enlighten us. Your brain will thank you.

I have cancelled getting an ipad, and instead decided to purchase a mint condition, Hermes Baby (bright orange!! ), with script type.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 65
texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 7:13:09 AM
With my job, the schedule and lack of cell service, people will get email and text from me as communication for the larger part of the week. Period. I am rarely able to use a phone.

Not everyone has the lifestyle and employment cercumstances that fit into the normal box and demanding that the world attend to your rules because you make that kind of assumption just means that you may miss out on someone who can't play accordingly. Setting arbitrary rules is an indication of a power struggle game.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 66
texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 8:19:38 AM
he said that he liked texting because he never had time to sit on the phone, that he was always doing something.


This is a problem. How do you expect to fit into his life if he can't even spend 5 minutes with you on the phone?

I have often done the email, then phone call, then texts to ensure our date is still on.
 mysterywoman999
Joined: 3/13/2011
Msg: 67
texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 8:25:40 AM
Young people text much differently than I do. I like text because it is efficient and you can do it anywhere. I am not offended at all if someone texts rather than calls. The thing young people do is text back and forth all day long with many different people. I don't like that because they have taken something that should not be intrusive, and made it intrusive. Also, they feel this need to respond to texts immediately. I don't. Unless it is really urgent, I feel like the same day or even the next day is good enough.

The other day, my son ( grade 12) had his phone taken away from him for texting in class. The teacher also made the class laugh by reading his most recently received text to the class. It was a message from his grandma (my mom) reminding him of his appointment at the dermatologist, and also ****ing at him because she had gone over to my house and discovered that he had not taken out the trash. She ended it with "I love you , sweet cheeks." I never thought my 75 year old mom would embrace texting, but she loves it. She is in much more regular communication with my kids than she would be if she didn't text.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 68
texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 8:29:13 AM
LOL, that is awesome! I embrace it with my young nieces and nephews too as we chat much more, but our face to face convos are still very long.

I do not text text kids during their school hours. I know instinctively that kids will check it. I would have called and left a message.
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 69
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texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 9:27:25 AM

I dated this one person for a couple of weeks. .and I really wished it would have worked out.


Good for you sister!!!

If only more people would dump people for texting, we'd have this foul habit licked in no time!!!!

Personally, I'd like to tazer someone every time they texted...but something tells me most people would consider that excessive.
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 70
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texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 9:45:02 AM

Not everyone has the lifestyle and employment cercumstances that fit into the normal box and demanding that the world attend to your rules because you make that kind of assumption just means that you may miss out on someone who can't play accordingly.


I make no demands on anyone, and the only person the rule applies to...is me. "I" don't communicate via text. The "world" can do whatever it pleases.

Isn't it funny though, with texting being barely a few years old, is now being argued as the only viable option to communicate? Right...pull this leg and it plays Jingle Bells.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 71
texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 10:16:05 AM
I've lost count on how many times, while driving, I've almost run over a stupid moron who's totally focused on texting while crossing the street without paying any attention to traffic and has stepped into the path of traffic. It's usually teenagers who have the "I am immortal and more important than you" attitude. I thought people were taught as toddlers, to look both ways before they cross the street. I guess that rule has been revised to say that if you're too busy texting, don't bother looking for on coming traffic when stepping out onto the road. Your useless 100th text of the day is more important than your life. I'm convinced that the electromagnetic field on these devices are killing people's brain cells and making people totally retarded. Even when I honk the horn when they step into the path of my car, they just glance up for a millisecond, and continue walking while staring at their screen.

There should be a law banning anyone under 18 from owning a cell device, and must pass an IQ test before getting a license to text.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 72
texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 7:44:18 PM
I realize that not everyone has the same schedule, but especially early in the dating stages, isn't it important to get to know someone? We would have these long conversations by text. .I really didn't like it, because my phone isn't text friendly (it's 6 years old, and I don't see the need to upgrade just so I can text with more ease), and frankly, it seemed too distant and impersonal. It's true that nothing comes close to interacting in person, but hearing a voice is the next best thing . Texts can be misinterpreted, and tone can't be translated over text. I could see if we had been dating for awhile, and then we kept in touch by text. He was very unwilling to even compromise . .I thought that if I texted, and said he had a great voice, and I enjoyed listening to it, and would like to hear it more, that would be a hint for him to call me. Well, I thought that if he is unwilling to compromise over such a small thing as texting, that's a red flag for things to come.
 channtheman
Joined: 3/8/2011
Msg: 73
texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 5/1/2011 11:14:54 PM
I hate texting and the reason why is what someone mentioned earlier in this thread. The texting generation (mine) are so bad at face to face conversation. They can't hold a conversation or pick up on non verbal cues at all. I go out on dates with girls and their answers to my open ended questions usually end in 1-2 word answers, like a text message! I purposefully answer a question vaguely (rare that they ask a question) and their response is not an obvious follow up question, but rather "sweet" or "nice." Again, just like an answer you would see in a text message.
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 74
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texting vs. calling
Posted: 5/1/2011 11:31:56 PM

Well, I thought that if he is unwilling to compromise over such a small thing as texting, that's a red flag for things to come.


It isn't so much that the person is unwilling to compromise on little things...it's the object of his uncompromising behaviour...something idiotic over something more intelligent. It's like someone refusing to eat fabulous home-cooked meals because they prefer to only eat at McDonalds.

These things are lifestyle CHOICES. Yet people act like they have no control over them, or rationalize why it is an "improvement" of their lives.

Nothing "important" ever gets said via text. It is generally preferable to just say nothing than to text, if you simply don't have the energy, time or patience to contact someone using some form of socially acceptable communication.
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 75
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texting vs. calling: a question for 20-somethings
Posted: 5/1/2011 11:53:31 PM

The texting generation (mine) are so bad at face to face conversation. They can't hold a conversation or pick up on non verbal cues at all.


I sit on the streetcar sometimes and listen to teens/twentysomethings (try) to have a conversation...it's painful.

Remove the soundbites, slang-of-the-month "sayings" and hipster references, and the word "like" (which is every fourth word spoken)...and you are left with essentially nothing. They either aren't really saying anything at all (they might as well just grunt), or are struggling to get an idea across, because they lack the basic ability to verbally articulate their thoughts properly.

And it's not just because they are young and immature...there's something very different about this generation. Don't believe me....listen to kids the same age talking from the 60's. The "hippie" generation may have been a bit wacky, but no matter how stoned they were, they could at least articulate their thoughts quite well. You could tell they were alive and thinking. This generation behave like factory produced zombies, with a little ADD and autism thrown in for good measure.
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