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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What's Up With NO PHOTOS?      Home login  
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 251
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?Page 11 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I agree that it makes communication alot better when you can see who you are talking to, but not always trying to hide something because of no pic. Half of the pictures on here look like something that they got out of a photo frame, or magazine ad. I have no pic for several reasons, and the biggest is for personal protection. Have gone on several first dates and only one of the guys actually looked like his picture and didn't lie in his profile(that I know of). I have also talked to a gazillion guys with horror stories about meeting someone without a pic, but they also had ulterior motives for the meetings(sex). So I think they actually got what they deserved. I have always been honest with anyone who has emailed me back without seeing my picture. If they have emailed me or are answering an email I have sent them, I give a brutally honest description of what I look like. If they have taken the time to read my profile and are actually interested in ME, and not my looks or my body. I also know that just because someone has a photo on here doesn't mean that is them, it's the net and you can lie, cheat and steal.
That screws it for the good people who are on here that don't lie, cheat or steal.
I also know that there are people on here that have more than one profile and only use it as a form of entertainment. They aren't looking for a date, soulmate, or a match, but are just out to hurt people anyway they can. I don't want those kind of people knowing who I am, because I do live in a small town. Ted Bundy was a nice looking guy too.
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 252
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:13:23 PM
Well, i personally don't see the point in pics on profiles, i only posted my pic just to see if its true (that the responses you get increases), but it doesn't make a difference.

I honestly prefer to only ask for a pic from a woman when we have chatted for a while and we both want to meet face to face.

I know alot of people go by looks and looks alone, of course most of those relationships die pretty quick, some can survive and work out.

I have noticed that alot of women say on their profiles 'i am looking for my soulmate to settle down with' or something along those lines and i have tried to chat with them and majority of them say i ain't slim enough and should go on a diet before contacting them again.

I believe that soulmates are the type of people that are attractive to you regardless of their physical appearance and to me, any woman that claims to be seeking their soulmate and won't even give an overweight guy or less then attractive guy a chance by chatting to them to see if they have anything in common and see how it goes, just isn't looking for a soulmate at all, just for someone to show off to their mates and nothing else.

Its just all my life, i have yet to fancy a woman that has been attractive to me, the only women i tend to develop romantic feelings for are my female friends that i have had for years.

I honestly don't see the point in seeing a woman's photo(s) without chatting to her for a while in advanced.

Though i would never, ever meet a woman face to face without seeing a photo(s) and i wouldn't even suggest a meeting for at least 5-6 months of chatting, maybe even longer.

A woman's excuses i have heard about photo(s) i have had is mostly 'I have posted photo(s) on my profile, its only fair the guys do too' i just laugh at that statement everytime i see it on a profile.

Did i ask or demand her (which 90% of the women seem to do) to put a photo on her profile? nope, she put it on there herself with no request or demand from i feel that i shouldn't have to show mine unless i OFFER to show a photo...other times, the woman will have to wait.

I would prefer to chat to a woman with a faceless profile to be honest.

doublej247 > Hey Hun, i like your post, i agree with you. nice profile too.
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 253
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 9/30/2007 10:37:26 PM
I personally think it is absolutely ridiculous to be on a dating site and not put up a picture of yourself. Take anyone's profile - anyone's - and any decent writer (either gender) could have written that profile and even written e-mail and convinced you he/she was the most wonderful person you can imagine based on the profile attributes. If there is no picture, you have no idea who you may be meeting. Even that is no guarantee as some have said above.

The only excuse is someone like myself who is just here for the forums and has to have a profile in order to post. If someone writes to me privately, I reply whether male or female. Occasionally I will write to someone I believe may make a decent friend.

Fishing with no bait? You need to read, "Cyrano de Bergerac" or watch the movie, "The truth about Cats and Dogs."
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 254
view profile
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 11:04:43 AM
well finally a topic that needs some real debating. so, what is the deal ladies? especially YOU miss GETREAL. the way i look at it is this, if you have a probelm with ads without a pics it just tells us guys that your more worried about looks more than the person inside. and frankly if i did have a pic posted i would refuse to contact any woman on here that only wants to be messaged by guys with pics. color me different if you would like but i could care less if a woman doesnt like the way i look i know im a good guy with good morals and im not that bad looking either ive just had a bad 21 year track record with women. i want to be "wanted" for me not for my looks or my motorcycle or my bank account etc.etc. just for me. the guy that would take your call when youre having a bad day. the guy who would buy you some flowers to cheer you up if your down. hell, i would give you a friggin kidney if you ever needed it! and for all the kind words that would fall from my lips. so there!! take me or leave me your choice. besides, i dont own a digital camera (i love my 35mm to much) i dont have a scanner for my giant paperweight of a computer. so im sure theres other guys in the same position as i am. i will eventually post a pic when the time allows but its not a priority cause i need some outside help to do it.

p.s and if your wondering YES i do respond to ads without pics i love the mystery of finding out who this person is before we meet. inside and out. its like a box of chocolates you never know what you might get and it could taste real good!!!!!
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 255
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 11:09:06 AM
I don't think a person needs to have a pic on their profile. Yet they should be willing a send a pic to the other person after a few emails if things are going well. You can't always tell how attractive is by a few pics, but a pic can give a general idea of what a person looks like if the pic is accurate and recent.
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 256
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 11:49:56 AM
Another good movie is Roxanne with Steve Martin, it is the visual version of Cyranno that people today can understand. Literature buffs know the story but most people today won't understand unless given a visual cue as to why they HAVE to have a picture. Obviusly the guys do not have to worry about safety issues such as rape or robbery, when they talk about having to see a pic before they talk to someone. As I stated previously, personal protection is an issue where I come from. FLINT is not exactly the safest place to live. Why would I want to talk to a guy face to face, who can't even get past the chatting phase of the dating process. I also know that people are bored now a days, so hey why not make a fake profile, invite friends over, and have a good chuckle at someone else's expense.
How can you really gaurantee that the picture you see is whom you are talking to? Who really wants to waste their time with people like that? The chatting phase is more important than the picture, because that is where you can weed out the liars, cheats, and thieves. Just from my personal experience. Right Sweetie guy?
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 257
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 1:08:29 PM
When a man doesn't post a photo, there's a reason. Anytime I've met a man who refuses to provide a picture I've regretted it. So, I skip these men.
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 258
view profile
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 1:15:41 PM
get real......i dont look at no photos very often, i dont think most men do....

men are visual, and what are these people trying to hide anyway?

if they have issues with exes, spouses, their family,should they be here anyway?

Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 259
view profile
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 1:20:46 PM
In my own opinion, 9 times out of 10 if a guy hasn't posted his picture it's because he has a reason not to be seen online - e.g., he's either cheating or thinking about cheating.
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 260
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 3:07:04 PM
I think everyone should put at least 1 pic up. Otherwise, you have no idea who you are talking to. I know it can lead to snap judgments by some people. But, it is better, than springing a photo on them later, and they are surprised by your appearance.
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 261
view profile
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 3:18:24 PM
Well, as a 53 M here, I can say that I have had my share of e-mails from Women who also do not post pics, though they certainly say that they are considered attractive (by who I might ask).
And yes, though it does seem shallow, some level of physical appeal is in my view necessary, so a pic may help determine if you should even start.
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 262
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 3:18:27 PM
yes Im seeing this a lot more.....
Joined: 7/12/2007
Msg: 263
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 3:21:51 PM
One onomonopiac word:

 mr. dynomite
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 264
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 3:26:02 PM
No pic + want to chat = instant suspicion

I get wierded out when they look at my pic and want to chat but they don't have the guts to show their pic.

I usually ignore them. Can't blame the women for doing it as well.
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 265
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 3:40:02 PM
Not everyone wants other people to know that they are on a dating website. I personally like to keep a low profile and think it is just as easy to send a picture. The pof has a great feature where you can send pictures with your response. I really prefer this option and it doesn't matter since women typically don't respond to a man's profile anyway. Also, I notice that women like to brag and show off how beautiful they are in their photos. They spend the majority of their time in front of a mirror so there is no doubt that they will be looking good. Guys typically don't spend a lot of time trying to be be beautiful but are still expected to live up to a woman's beauty expectations. I can understand why a lot of guys don't want to post pictures up. They probably don't think they can measure up to a woman's beauty. There is really no competition with women in that category.
Joined: 9/27/2007
Msg: 266
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 4:25:25 PM
People don't put their pix up because they're insecure. I totally understand. I had to put up a sleazy pic of me before I got any responses. If you are female, you have to look like a model or a babe before any guy will write. It stinks. It would be nice if they would read the content of your ad and focus on your personality but maybe about 3% do. all know it's true. How many times have we had to keep changing our photos until we finally got noticed? It's true that ladies put up old or touched up, air-brushed photos of themselves because if they are REAL, no one wants them. Make yourself look like you're easy-you will be bombarded with replies. Sometimes I think that all the guys are looking for casual sex with a hottie and that's it. Even the old ones lol and I should talk..I'm old. Older guys want the young girls ha ha. Go for it Gramps!!!!! This is my last try at Internet Dating. After this, if I can't find someone that is not just a player, then I am quitting. I feel bad for my fellow lady friends on here that are having their hearts broken over and over again. Also, have you noticed that when men don't post a pic, they still get replies? If a woman doesn't, she won't get ANY!!!!!!!! NOT A ONE!!!!! Grow up!!! FAKE FAKE PHONEY PHONEY LOOK INSIDE HER HEART!!!!!!
 mr. dynomite
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 267
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 4:35:12 PM

I had to put up a sleazy pic of me before I got any responses.

Are you suprised that your sleazy pic attracted sleazy men? you shouldn't be.

Sometimes I think that all the guys are looking for casual sex with a hottie and that's it.

This is my last try at Internet Dating. After this, if I can't find someone that is not just a player, then I am quitting.

Sounds like baggage / impacience to me.
 A.K.A. Sweetgin
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 268
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 4:37:33 PM
^^^^ wow, that is a pretty sad post

I had to put up a sleazy pic of me before I got any responses

....I would rather just chat in the forums, or send the first message.
My pics are of the natural me, doing my natural thing.
If I get a response great....if not, I am far from shy and have no problem starting the introductions
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 269
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 5:25:34 PM
I don't see anything sinister in not posting a photo.

The married-looking-for-some-on-the-side reason aside, there are valid reasons for not posting a picture.

Picture or not, I try to give people a chance. I want to be given a fair shake, so I do the same. You're going to find out whether they are worth your attentions eventually.

Who knows? You might be passing up a gem.
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 270
view profile
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/1/2007 5:40:03 PM
it isn't the no photos that get to me it's the pics of the 'wiener dogs" some guys want 2 send so why do ya think I want 2 see that if i can't put a face 2 it. besides if I want a pet I got 2 shih-tzu's right here n there probably a lot more faithful than the "hounds" who want 2 see if I got a webcam or want them 2 turn on theirs for me ,be warned folks. so if u don't want 2 post ur pic thats fine, just don't think I'd rather see what your "pet" looks like than u.
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 272
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/7/2007 10:07:59 AM

i wouldn't even suggest a meeting for at least 5-6 months of chatting, maybe even longer.

Are you serious? Isn't the point of being on a dating site to actually meet people and go on dates?

Isn't the point to work on developing a relationship (whatever kind it is that you're looking for)?

I'm sorry, but people can hide way too much about themselves behind a computer screen... and I need to know if I can interact with someone face to face before even thinking about developing any kind of emotion for them. ESPECIALLY if they refuse a photo. I don't have (or want to have) six months or more to talk to someone only to find out that they've got yuckmouth or have barbaric eating habits and wear the same mustard-stained shirt 3 days in a row. I'm 30 years old, never married, and no kids. I don't have time to mess around with internet and phone based relationship building!

I'm the kind of woman who doesn't mind chatting a little, talking on the phone a little, but dammit I want to meet you if I gather by the chat/conversation that I think you're a decent person I might be interested in. Preferably within the first week after initial contact, given that we've actually had conversation.

And yes, I do ask for photos. Again with the physical aspect of things - people are attracted to what they're attracted to. I'm no stick figure, and don't expect Superman at the coffee shop, but if I don't think you're even moderately attractive TO ME, why go through the motions? I don't expect every man out there to see through my extra weight to fall in love with the "real me" - This IS the real me... lumps and all, take it or leave it. So I put that out there ahead of time. If you can't deal with a "fat chick" please, move along, you know? I'm not offended and I'm not going to judge you as a jerk for it.

There are women out there who prefer tall, lanky men just as much as there are women who prefer cuddly teddy bear men. Women who will only date a guy who works out 5 days a week and other women who don't much care so long as you're not a slob living a slob's lifestyle.

Get over your insecurities - EVERYONE likes confidence!
Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 273
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/7/2007 12:46:40 PM
I had photos, the only reason I took them down, because I felt like it wasn't the best, & that's why I thought it wasn't getting me any responses, either that, or possibly where I live, but I'll put one back up soon, & hopefully I'll have some new pics on here soon.
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 274
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/7/2007 1:46:41 PM
I pretty much *always* send my pic with an email reply (well, the first time anyways). If nothing else, I know I like having a face to go with the person I'm talking to.

Not having it "public", well, I've kinda given up on POF as a place to be "looking"... I do enjoy the forums, and if someone emails me they get my pic and I'll chat with them. But not having one public does cut down on the emails from random people, its usually people who like something I said on the forums and are commenting on it.
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 275
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 10/7/2007 5:05:04 PM
Well it seems to me, that women tend to think because they show a pic, the men should too, to make it fair....i just laugh in fits when i get that reason. lol

You women put your pics on your profiles by your own free will, but you might the men put pics on there, stating 'its only fair since we have put ours up'

But the question is, 'did the guy ask you to? if not, then don't ask a guy to do the same, cause it really isn't fair.

I know for sure i wouldn't meet a woman face to face without seeing a pic, but chatting online...who the hell cares.
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