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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What's Up With NO PHOTOS?      Home login  
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 luvneboni
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 101
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?Page 5 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
lil moments,

we don't do we.....just one of those things that comes with surfing the net and the many different sites, we would like to believe "TRUST ME" but it's the chance we take in hopes that the profile is as real as the person who wrote it, or is the picture really theirs.

Have fun and try not to put a lot of weight on pictures, they are definitely nice to have in my opinion, but there are lots of good people I'm sure without their Mug shot in that little square box..smile

I've seen some terrific pictures, from all over the world, art work, scenery, the beach, peoples backyards, horses in a pasture, all types of cool animals, boats, oceans, clubs, you name it. Quite interesting to say the least and some very beautiful, and those types of pictures don't lie.....smile....(or do they)
 cajunblast
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 102
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/23/2006 10:00:26 PM
i think it's a waste of time to post a pic. i went 10 months on here without a pic and everyday i got at least 3 or 4 women sending me messages, now that i have my pic posted, no one is sending me messages.......and no i'm not ugly...lol
what i think it is and i feel this is more with women then men, but women make a bigger deal on what a person looks like....i read the profiles and i send a message if the person as something interesting in there profile, it has nothing to do with the way they look.
half of the women i have sent a message didnt have a pic posted.

and the women who say they wont respond to a man without a pic..thats a lie.
even with a pic posted, most still decide not to respond
 luvneboni
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 103
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/23/2006 10:12:29 PM
Cajunblast,

Do you really think that women make a big deal on photos? I too went without photos for awhile for personal reasons and when I'd communicate with others the first thing out of their mouths were send me a picture, you got a picture, wheres your picture, what do you look like, I don't talk to people without a picture, put your picture up etc etc.......
I think men are more visual then women. just my opinion though...................
 maree12
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 104
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What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 3:01:06 AM
I do not have a photo on my computer so to have to mess around getting one, and scanning it in, whilst signing up is too much of a nuisance, so it is easier not to put one.
 maree12
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 105
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History
hornydevil
Posted: 3/24/2006 3:04:19 AM
So, that is fortunate...May, June, July and August are coming up.
 AREALANGEL
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 106
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 3:24:46 AM
I got on another site a few years ago. My profile was honest and my picture looked like me in a dress...well I got emails..you have any other pictures? Is that really you? and then I got one that the guy REALLY REALLY wanted me to send him pics in my underwear..nude..when I said no..he said that he knows where I live and has been by my house..he knows me and if I don't comply he will paste my face on a nude and spread it all over the sites on porn sites..

Well...he did..he is a local and he knew where I lived..so I had to get a restraining order on him and he ended up going to jail for kiddy porn..SOOOOO

That is why I am very careful of whom I print my likeness to these days..
 luvneboni
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 107
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:34:05 AM
"WoW" arealangel,

so sorry to hear such. I took mine down after an episode from a "CREEP"..went awhile without a photo up until things got better and he was band from the site...I wish you well, and hope you encounter nothing but happiness from this moment on......
 Emulated
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 108
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 2:08:42 PM
I don't have a picture up because I don't want to post a picture out where anyone on the internet can get ahold of it and do whatever they want with it. There are plenty of horror stories about people's pictures being taken and used in bad ways I guess it make me a lil nervous about it. For the same reasons I won't create a myspace page, that and the company that runs myspace is pretty bad with keeping their word in the terms of service and privacy statements.

I have 2 pictures though, and if anyone asks I send them w/o question.

I guess if someone can't look beyond the no picture thing I'm screwed. I did write a rather lengthy profile though detailing everything in my life right now.
 wespauley
Joined: 12/18/2005
Msg: 109
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 2:24:57 PM
It's so those of us what's attractively challenged might could git a purty girl like you to send us one o them email thangs and boost ar ego.
 Emulated
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 110
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 2:38:58 PM

COULD BE ANYONE just like the PHOTO! I SUPPOSE!


This is true, anyone can go out to google and type in "hot " in images, pick one and post it, or just post a picture of a friend or anything, how does the photo give it any more weight?

I'm sticking with not having a photo up, if someone is too shallow to send me a message because I don't have a photo up I guess its my loss. Not that everyone who would ingore the photoless is shallow but, you get the idea.
 truthodare
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 111
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What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:13:46 PM
No offense to anyone intended, but I feel that sometimes no photo leaves more to the imagination than some photos. I recently replied to a message with, "Sorry, I am not in the habit of speaking to strangers who are not dressed." Just for the record, I normally do not receive inappropriate messages. The poor guy did not say anything inappropriate, but since I am not in a relationship, any half naked man that I converse with is probably going to be a relative.

On another note, I did not post a photo on another site for work related reasons. I can say that I get much, much, much more response with a photo. This thread has forced me to consider how many no photo profs may be hiding marriage and more. I had considered it, but I will definitely give it more thought. . . . .thanks.
 Xavi
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 112
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:28:49 PM
If your co-workers razz you about being here, ask them what THEY were doing surfing an online dating site. If they are of the same gender as you and aren't openly gay, ask them why they were surfing their same gender on an online dating site. I'm pretty sure they will shut up after that.

If you don't have a photo on here, my first thought is "Hey, this person is either incredibly insecure about their looks, or they are cheating on someone." I like confidence in the people I meet, and I hate cheaters. The same thing applies to folks who say "Well, I have a picture I can send you," okay, so why isn't it on your profile? Afraid your wife will see it?

As for googling pictures of hot people and posting them? That's why I have a range of my pictures on here. You can tell some are newer than others, but the range lets you know that yes, those really are all shots of the same person.

When you get down to brass tacks it's the same as walking into a bar with a bag over your head. You are on here looking for a partner or friend. If you met them in person they would see what you look like, so since that is the eventual goal here, why not show them right at the start? That way you also avoid meeting up with someone with whom you had fantastic online chats only to discover they are utterly repulsed by your looks.

There really is no good reason to not put a photo up. If you have that much concern about someone "doing things" with the photos you post online you'd better destroy your bank accounts too since that information is a great deal more crucial and it is on the internet for folks who are smart enough to hack into the bank's servers.
 thundergod71
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 113
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:34:21 PM
I had a photo up at one time. I removed it for my own personal reasons. I've had better luck meeting women with depth since then. I have no problem sending a photo to a woman if she asks, but I'm really not interested in anyone who decides yae or nae based soley on what I look like.

You said it would be nice to "know who you're talking to". Well, "knowing" someone has very little to do with what they look like. Appearences are almost always deceiving. Who someone really is comes from within.

One of the major reasons marriages don't last anymore is because people are so much more shallow than they used to be and get married to people that they really don't know based on how much the person spikes their libido when they look at him/her. Lust only gets you about as far as you can throw the person....then you have to look deeper, and you find out you can't stand the person you're married to.

By the way, before you decide that I only think this way because I must be unattractive:: I'm 6'6", dark curley hair, blue eyes and take pretty good care of myself....but I've learned through experience that looks and lust fade. It's who people are inside that makes or breaks a relationship. Sure, there needs to be that initial attraction...but if you're open minded and like who someone is on the inside you can find sexiness in almost anyone. I have to wonder how many people have pushed away their soulmate because they never gave them a chance after seing their photo.....go figure.
 Xavi
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 114
NO PHOTOS? and USELESS PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:35:53 PM
By the way, to folks who say "Oh, I don't have a digital camera or docking port for one so I can't post a photo."
Wal Mart will put your photos on disk and create a website for you to store and show them. It's easy enough to pull one from there to here to post it.
It's not that expensive, and if you can't afford that, then you ought to be getting a second job or upgrading some skills so you can get a better job, instead of looking for a partner.
(Folks who are just here to chat in the forums, well, I can think of plenty of online chat forums that aren't attached to dating sites, but if you really want to use that as an excuse for no photo, fair enough. Maybe someone should suggest to the admin here that one of the options under "looking for" be listed as "just here for the forums.")
 need_4_speed12000
Joined: 3/14/2006
Msg: 115
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:57:33 PM
Maybe they are weeding out the supeficial people in the world only interested in looks and want them to learn about them first?
 truthodare
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 116
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What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 6:48:12 PM
Msg 123

Very good points!


Msg 127

I'm very sorry for your bad day. Are you and the mrs having a tiff? Oh! I'd prefer Matthew McConaughey to the weather man.
 Xavi
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 117
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 6:51:57 PM
Okay, would you rather meet with someone who will take one look at you, having only had a description to go by, and run off screaming "Jeez, you look just like my brother, I can't date you!"
I had a wonderful chat with a guy back in the days before I required photos. Met him in person only to discover he had lied, was a good four inches shorter than he told me he was, was as big around as a stick and when it came to face to face conversation it consisted of him staring at me slack jawed and saying maybe three words to me before I told him "this just isn't going to work."
Life has risks and it has rewards. The idea of someone posting your face onto a nude and selling it online, well, if they are the average cut & paster then you can tell it's a fake and you'll get to laugh at how pathetic he is.
If your work has an awards night and takes photos of you and posts it on their website anyone can do the same thing. I don't give out my personal info right away, and my photos don't give anyone enough information to find where I live.
I'm not interested in just looks, but it is one factor that anyone who is being honest with themselves will admit makes a big difference. Of course that's most of the point here isn't it? Honesty? That's also why I ask for more than one photo of a person before I meet them. I've had guys online try to hit on me using photos taken out of a Playgirl magazine -- needless to say I called him on it and he mysteriously vanished.
If you are terribly worried about stalkers then you'd best make sure you never go outside, and your phone # isn't listed etc. Have fun hiding away from the world. Meanwhile those of us who have some character and courage will be out here getting dates.
 Xavi
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 118
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/24/2006 6:54:13 PM

Oh! I'd prefer Matthew McConaughey to the weather man.


Hmm, you know, he definitely looks better than my local weatherfolk too!
 truthodare
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 119
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What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/25/2006 12:34:07 AM
lol, weeding is a longggggggggggg process. . . . . .
 get_over_it2
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 120
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/25/2006 3:50:35 AM
"That's also why I ask for more than one photo of a person before I meet them"

For proof its them? Or to get more than one look at them? Because it is possible to find more than a single photo of someone and still have it be fake. Like go to webshots or botfolio where people post entire family albums of family vacations, etc, and there's nothing stopping a person from right clicking and saving all the photos they want, make up a story and claim those pics as their own. And it'll work online when the person has no plans to meet you.

If they are looking for a date, then I wouldn't see the logic in pretending to be someone else.
 jackyfrost01
Joined: 12/21/2005
Msg: 121
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/25/2006 4:01:33 AM
"thuthodare: How is it hiding marriage? They can crop out a ring or take it off for a photo or use a photo from before they were married or use a totally fake photo altogether."

There's some truth to that...

"Msg 127 I'm very sorry for your bad day. Are you and the mrs having a tiff? Oh! I'd prefer Matthew McConaughey to the weather man."

Cute, but you avoided his question/comment ;) lol

But he does have a point, Truthodare. A married person can show a photo without making it obvious they are married (intentionally or not).

Just as its very easy to to just assume anything about someone without a photo, but why make generalizations without knowing all the facts? I mean we're all strangers here right? We don't really know each other or what our individual situations are. Why assume its a married person when it may just be something far more innocent. And even if they are married, they aren't necessarily looking to find a fling, either. I tend to go by the "innocent until proven guilty" method, but thats me. That was my 2 cents. Have a good day.
 scottiejames03
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 122
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/25/2006 8:31:02 AM
I usually respond to women without photos. For one they are being cautious. If you take the time to read her profile then you decide if you are interested. Sometimes they are not attractive and sometimes they are. I refuse to play a cat and mouse game with a girl that has a pic and she is on 200 peoples hot list.
 Red1963
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 123
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/25/2006 8:52:21 AM
I thought that as well, But if your co-workers/aquaintnces/ex-girlfriends can see you, doesn't that mean the're on here doing the same thing as well. Yes, I agree that originally, when internet or newspaper dating began, it was always looked at as "these people can't find a date in the normal circumstances. "what's normal anymore."

I have the confidence that I could find a date at any time or any where I choose. But this gives me a chance to really know someone before I jump in and waste more precious years of my life. Looks are not everything, But we do have to have some sort of physical attraction. And i'm sure everyone will agree. In saying this, I feel if you are serious about getting together with someone. Put up a pic. from the start. Let em like it or leave it.

M.
 Emulated
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 124
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/25/2006 1:12:17 PM
Well I don't want to give any impressions of "hiding" so if thats what not having a photo means I caved and have added 2, will add more later when I develop some!
 truthodare
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 125
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History
What's Up With NO PHOTOS?
Posted: 3/25/2006 1:26:22 PM
I read all profiles who message me. I previously stated that no photo was more desirable than a photo in some cases. However, the amount of time spent arguing that in these forums has forced me to consider whether I should give no photo equal consideration. It has also forced me to consider how many others might think I am hiding something should I not post a photo. I have always considered a number of positive and negative reasons that a person would not post a photo. Should I continue to do so? That is my generalization.


Cute, but you avoided his question/comment ;) lol


deal_with_it-my hat goes off to you, as you state that you are married. I do not expect to receive personal messages from you, so whether or not you post a photo is not an issue for me. However, I am curious as to how you met your wife? Prior to your marriage, did you ever consider meeting face to face with someone whom you chatted with online? The OP may not have specified an angle here, but it would appear that she and I are both single women who are interested in dating. Do the rules specify that we must adopt the attitude of a married person who is using the forums to kill time? Yes, a photo can be fake. I hope for all single women's sake that in time the story will match the photo. Speaking from personal experience, many times it does not. Would I consider meeting someone who never sent a photo? NO! Would I consider meeting someone who's story made no sense? NO! There are those who have mastered deceit. That is the scary part! That is why we are having this conversation in the first place. If we were all fakes, and here just to BS, what would be the point in that? I want to believe the numbers are few, but who really knows?

There are those of us who post photos, and some of us will not consider meeting someone who refuses to send a photo. Why must we be labeled as "shallow"? Should we not post a photo, yet our profile suggests that we are confident and take care of ourselves, are we still labeled as "shallow"? If we are confident, yet prefer to spend our time nurturing others, does that make us a decent person? Should we lie and say that we don't like ourselves?
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