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 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 76
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?Page 4 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Hey Ray, a lot of folks here are beating that horse, dead or not.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 77
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 9:38:50 AM
ellena,
we are going by what she has said. Other than smile at her in the laundromat and try to talk to her in the hallway, she hasn't really given us any more about his actions. She has, however, made it clear how unattractive she thinks he is. It appears that she is assuming he has some attraction to her with nothing to base that on other than a few friendly gestures that most people would take as just being neighborly.
 1234happy
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 78
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 10:13:25 AM

The Bottom Line is, the OP started a TROLL/RANT thread, There was never a question asked by the OP, just a Rant. Therefore everyone posted as they interpereted the statement(s) of the OP. Yes please do consider the source of my comment (Post# 60). I never called her ugly, I just do not see an overwhelming beauty that would automatically beckon such behavior. So therefore, yes, I do call Bull Sh1T concerning the OP'S Statements. She probably thinks anyone who visits her profile and is unattractive is Creepy.

I agree with this. I can’t help but feel that if the neighbor were ‘hot’ the topic would be totally different.

More along the lines of…

“Do you think this guy is interested in me? I mean he stares at me all the time and made comments about my laundry. What should I do? I think he’s really cute…sigh…Do you think he likes me? I hope so…”

Well I did visit her profile to get a feel of the OP, and trust me OP, I am not stalking you.

Yeah, that’s what ‘they’ all say “trust me”…;)
 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 79
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 10:16:08 AM
Ray of moonlight: I'm really sorry to hear that happened . . I hope he got what he deserved later. I'll agree with you on that, too. Attractive people can be creepy/scary, too. There is this one individual at my work, who always seems to be complaining about something. At random times, he's joked about how it would be better if certain groups of people were eliminated. Or if he's having a bad time at home with his wife, he'll make derogatory comments about women and certain parts specific to them.
As far as still beating the dead horse, hey, everyone else is doing it, so that's a good enough argument! :P Right. . . Yes, everyone else (the ones getting on my case) is perfect, and they would never do something like this. .or worse. I'm sure they treat everyone equally, in all instances. .right!
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 80
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 11:42:21 AM
If he creeps you out - I understand you may not be able to spell it all out and that may be why some people think you're being paranoid or just find him entirely unattractive- I recommend being direct but in a polite way. Don't infuriate him by seeming contemptuous, just make it evident that you're not interested.
But nicely

If he's obsessed with you, don't be unpleasant. But just set things straight in a nice way.
If he's not obsessed with you but just socially awkward, he'll let you go and there won't be any animosity.

Like others have suggested, ask if he's interested in you. Make sure there's no mistake in communication

 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 81
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 2:37:09 PM
I had a neighbor once, that was retarded, and extremely unattractive. Got that? I mean she was literally retarded. Annnnyway, this woman had the HOTS for me, in a big big way..I knew it....EVERYONE knew it. She would chit chat with me, say hello, stare at me all the time.


I didnt pretend to not meet her gaze, nor did I act squirrely, and "look away" when she made eye contact. I simply would be polite, and through conversation, after awhile, she picked up on the vibe I was throwing out there. And that vibe was, that there was absolutely NO CHANCE.


I wasnt "creeped out"...nor did I shy away from this woman.



Its really not that fu*king hard to do.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 82
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 2:38:48 PM
And the most telling this about this, was the fact that you had to mention his looks immediately as one of your opening statements.


Why does his looks have anything to do with this at all? You could have described what exactly made you feel threatened, or creeped out, without mentioning his looks at all.


That is why everyone was a bit thrown off. That didnt make sense to add on to the story immediately.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 83
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 3:15:26 PM

I hope he got what he deserved later.

No in fact not to long ago he went into a neighbors house while his daughter who was 14 was in the shower.He was caught peeping at her but nothing really happened to him.

Sometimes we really have no clue as to why someone gives us the creeps.Sometimes those creepy feelings turn out to be nothing and we were wrong,but sometimes they turn out to be true.True or not though more people would probably be alive if they had just gone with their gut reaction.No I am not saying this man is going to kill you so don't freak out people.I am talking about other situations where people who survived attacks talked about their gut telling them not to get in this persons car,not to let this person in their house or just to get as far away from a person as possible.AGAIN I AM NOT SAYING THIS MAN IS GOING TO HURT YOU IN ANY WAY TO THOSE WHO ARE GOING TO ATTACK AND SAY I AM FEAR MONGERING OR EXAGGERATING.

There is probably no need to fear him or run from him.Just ignore him completely and if you have to talk to him say only short necessary things then walk away.No need to be rude,scream or yell as others have suggested.Just walk away.You are entitled to your feelings and if this guy give you the willies then your entitled to feel that way no matter what anyone says.
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 84
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 3:31:39 PM
^^^Yup. Even if somebody doesn't kill you or hurt you, it can still be pretty bad. If he is harassing, obsessive, if he gossips nasty things about you because he's frustrated, if he never does anything terrible but you sense he could lose it if you pushed a bit, etc.

Even if it isn't killing or rape, someone can still cause you enough anguish, problems.

If she feels he's creepy, maybe he is and maybe his looks say something about him. If he seems mentally ill, or she senses that his unattractiveness frustrates him, she could be right than to be cautious.

She knows better, or is in a better position to differentiate between mere fear and disgust and actually picking up on something bad then internet strangers.
 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 85
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 3:55:51 PM
YOU'RE 34. You're an adult.


I have been creeped out by people .. several times, but I wasnt rude to them and treat them as though they were shit on my shoe, like you're doing to this poor guy. He's made NO MOVE to show that he has any interest in you beyond wanting to communicate... HOW DARE HE!

I once was walking to the subway and had a guy pull over, park his car, get out and follow me into the subway. CREEPY? yes I had ever right to run, but I heard him out and said "i'm not interested" .. THATS WHAT ADULTS DO. This guy in no way shape or form sounds like he's dangerous, and if anyone else felt like he was, I doubt they would have introduced you to him in the hallway. Stop being so damn paranoid.


P.S a lot of times people with low self esteem over compensate by thinking everyone who looks at them likes them.

This is why I think people these days are so moronic.. you can't even talk to someone or look in their direction without them thinking you want them.
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 86
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 7:06:52 PM
"If he were attractive and stared at her in the laundry room she would have flirted back.
She would have been polite in the hallway when he tried to say "hi".
But since she'll never be attracted to him he's "creepy"
----------------

The very nature of "consent" is "unwanted" advance. Attractive does not mean she'll agree to his interest. I have had "attractive" guys make rude comments, and they were anti-social creeps.
The notion she's "uppity" if she doesn't give warm noogies to everyone who wants one--this is just insecurity to require affirmation from neighbors, or expecting way to much of others or women (all women should welcome all men, or they're ****es) .

If folks are friendly to me, fine, if they ignore me, whatever--I don't consider it morally superior to chat up your neighbors. I've done it, and not done it, and take no offense if either ignored, or talked to. I figure people are going about their lives, vs taking personal offense my presence isn't warmly acknowledged.
-------------------
"I once was walking to the subway and had a guy pull over, park his car, get out and follow me into the subway. CREEPY? yes I had ever right to run, but I heard him out and said "i'm not interested" .. THATS WHAT ADULTS DO. This guy in no way shape or form sounds like he's dangerous, and if anyone else felt like he was, I doubt they would have introduced you to him in the hallway. Stop being so damn paranoid."
-----
I'm glad it worked out Stacey, hopefully it was a subway with others in it, but lots aren't so lucky--and your luck is not guaranteed forever, just because of an invincible attitude. Sadly, many women aren't that lucky, some are, but you don't get to tell anybody not to be concerned, or they need to "hear" anybody out. It's not required. I stone faced walk on when men try to stop and talk, just like I'd expect them to do if I approached them and they were in no mood. If you want to deal w/ men who follow you in subways, that is you, not everybody.
 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 87
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 8:35:05 PM
Again, she's given NO REASON as to why he creeps her out except that he's unattractive and tries to talk to her. That my friend, is not a creepy person.

You're not in the mood to talk? How are random people supposed to know how you are? Even on my worst days, I'm still social. There's no need for this rude "shit on the shoe" type of attitude that many women (including the OP) seem to carry around these days. Men are right.. we are ****es.
 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 88
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/2/2010 10:36:49 PM
Ray of moonlight: Well, sooner or later, something's going to happen to that person you mentioned. And there's a special place for people like that.

Not everyone's social all the time. Some people have their bad days, and just really don't want to talk to anyone. Actually, it's probably better. . People who work early hours should have a rule where no one can talk to each other until they've actually woken up. .have their coffee, morning routine before settling in.

Going back to what someone said earlier, if I hadn't included the paragraph about how turned off I was by his appearance, there probably would have been different responses. Guess you could say in writing that, I was expressing frustration at what I felt was unwanted attention. And yes, I realize it's not that hard to know how to deal with this. .
As for people with low self esteem overcompensating by thinking that everyone who looks at them is attracted, this is the . .I don't know how many times I've repeated it, but I don't think this when they talk to me. I'm sure this is why I've never picked up on when men have been interested, until I'm told much later by friends. .because I don't assume that.
My acquaintances in the building have no way of knowing what type of person that is (He just moved in). I say acquaintances, because I've seen them a handful of times, and say "hello" and make small talk with them. And unless they give me reason to, (such as this man), I will talk to pretty much anyone.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 89
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 12:26:55 AM

Again, she's given NO REASON as to why he creeps her out except that he's unattractive and tries to talk to her. That my friend, is not a creepy person.



In her defense...sometimes you dont exactly have actual "reasons" as to why someone is creepy. They're just creepy. They can come off as socially awkward, strange, and various other things that make them seem creepy. People do give off vibes.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 90
view profile
History
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 4:43:15 AM
Where to start...while I do agree that some people give off a "creepy" vibe, I'm not sure I believe it is as infallible as a lot of posters here seem to. Sometimes we just totally misread the small things that tend to lend credence to the "creepy" verdict, usually based on our own biased interpretation of what said behavior means.

I am reminded of a scene from the movie "Urban Behavior" where the girl stops to get gas at a remote station, and the fellow that comes out to fill her tank is the definition of creepy. Add to that the fact that he stutters and her creepy verdict is cemented. When he notices the person in the back of her vehicle and uses some lame excuse to get her out of the car and into the station for her own safety, she is instantly on the defensive and looking for any clue whatsoever to support her judgment of him. His stutter becomes worse as he anxiously tries to tell her what is wrong, and because she is already looking for confirmation of her negative "feeling" about him; she assumes that he is the threat and goes into flight mode, believing she's escaped a terrible fate. The irony is of course that the true threat was in the car she gratefully sped away in.

This is of course a scene from a movie, but I think the point is a valid one. All to often we make snap judgments about people based on appearance, race, social standing, job, etc etc etc. Some of the best people I have ever met have been those whose appearance/profession carried negative stereotypes and as such they were viewed in a negative light unfairly. Conversely, I have met some people who are outwardly very attractive; well-spoken; impeccably groomed; successful both in their profession and social circles, who within a few minutes of meeting them I had already decided that they were not people I wanted to know.

Sometimes it's easy to see: it's in their body language, or the way they speak; the lack of something in their eyes when they address you directly...but sometimes it's just a feeling, or "vibe" that you pick up on but can't quite explain. You just know that you would prefer to never have to interact on any level with that person ever again.

Sometimes it's a very strong negative reaction, other times it's the "something just seemed off about him/her" reaction. And sometimes, it's a reaction based purely on negative stereotypes, or prejudice, or bigotry, or racism; all of which tend to stem from ignorance and fear. Someone said:


He is getting on her nerves and creeping her out.
Doesn't matter if she is "justified" in anyone's eyes.
Mine or anyone elses... She has the right to say BACK OFF..Rude or not .


Herein lies a problem, IMO. She "has a right" to feel the way she feels and react in whatever way she wants without being judged for it, correct? These feelings she is having and the creepy vibe she is getting from him is based on the behavior he has exhibited when around her, as she has said. As an aside I would like to point out that his behavior,when examined solely from her point of view (as this all we have to go on); has the appearance of being normal social interactions to many of us. However, the negative connotations she associates with this individual (which for all intents and purposes have no basis in fact) are not only valid, but must be respected because to not do so would be an infringement on her "rights".

Hmm, seems to me this argument, in it's sheer ignorant simplicity, can be applied to a number of similar situations. We carry no obligation to justify our irrational (and often dangerous) fears; hatred; bigotry and poor treatment of others due to race; gender; or appearance; or our intolerance of those whom we deem "different"; we can freely make snap judgments about someone and hold fast to them, and all because:

We have the right to feel the way we feel. It does not matter whether said feelings can be supported by factual evidence, and to request such proof is an infringement of our rights.

So where do you draw the line? Why not take it a step further and file a lawsuit citing "emotional distress"? Ridiculous as it sounds, I guarantee there's a lawyer out there that could present the case and win. Her right to feel the way she does and her potential confrontation resulting from those feelings could very well infringe on his rights and result in serious repercussions. There are two people involved in this situation, one of whom is blissfully ignorant of the effect his attempts to engage in small talk and his admiring glances at someone he may find pleasing to the eye have caused in this individual. His behavior when around her makes her uncomfortable, (valid reaction or not, immaterial) and so she gets a free pass to treat him like excrement if she so chooses, and risk creating a very uncomfortable atmosphere for him in his new building.

Creepy people have rights too you know.



What a sad, sad situation. I think you're reading way too much into his simple attempts to interact with you. The staring could be for any number of reasons, none of which we know for sure unless someone asks him. Some people just stare without realizing they're making the recipient uncomfortable. Some people lack simple social conventions. Sometimes people are staring at the big zit on your nose; other times it may be your beautiful eyes that draw their attention. Seriously, who the feck knows?!

If it's bothering you so much that it's affecting your quality of life when at home, well, then perhaps you should move. If you do decide to confront him and tell him to stay away from you at least have the decency not to create a big scene in front of your mutual neighbors. Because then your actions would very likely have a detrimental effect on HIS quality of life. Believe it or not, he is as entitled as you are.

On second thought, if you did as one poster suggested and accosted him in the hallway screaming "STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!" in front of your neighbors you would establish once and for all who owned the creepy title.

Don't worry though, as I said above, creepy people have rights too. You'll be just fine.



 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 91
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 6:18:07 AM
op if you're creeped out by somebody, that's usually a pretty visceral reaction just like being really attracted to somebody (but exactly the opposite). it's especially creepy if you think the person who totally creeps you out is really attracted to you, i KNOW.

since he lives in your building and you're going to bump into him from time to time, then if i were you (and without any actual insight into his behavior), i'd probably just do my best to be polite while at the same time keeping any interaction with him as brief as possible. if the guy can't take the subtle hints you've already given him, he's probably got the IQ of a guinea pig and is just about as dangerous.
 clockwork lime
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 92
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 6:55:00 AM
From the OP

It's the same older man. .he continues grinning like an idiot at me, and trying to get me to look at him.

Are you a mind reader? How do you know he's trying to get you to look at him?


I guess he must have taken that one time I looked at him as encouragement for him to try and strike up conversation with me.

You guess? How do you know what his motivations and intentions are?

Every time you have physically described the man, you haven't missed an opportunity to assign a negative physical characteristic to him. That speaks volumes. This man has never so much as expressed an interest in you, yet you believe yourself to be a mind reader.

One of the greatest miscarriages of justice in Canada occured in 1984 to a man called Guy Paul Morin, who all the neighbours described as "creepy". He was a young man in his early 20's who lived in his mom's basement and spent a lot of time alone. To top it off, he played the viola, and really lacked social skills. When the nine year old girl next door went missing and her dead body turned up a few kilometers away, the police turned their focus on him. Everybody in the small town suspected him because frankly, he was creepy. The local women pretty much all said that they were "creeped out" by this guy. He was convicted, and justice was done because this "creep" was behind bars.
His life in prison was terrible because they put him in the general population, a just reward for such a creep.
In 1995, when DNA testing had improved dramatically, it was found out that he couldn't possibly have been the killer, and after having endured 10 years of hell, he was exonerrated and released.

We all have to interact with people who we don't find attractive. When I'm out shopping or just out about town (I live in a mid-sized town, and I'm a fairly well known fellow), people will invariably want to talk to me. The cashiers at the stores, the girls at Starbucks, the waitresses at restaurants, they can all be pretty fawning sometimes. Some of them are old enough to be my little sister, and the middle aged spread is starting to show, I find this terribly unattractive. Perhaps I should tell them to BACK OFF, and insist that the establishment find someone less chatty (or perhaps younger and more attractive) to serve me. I should tell the managers of these places that these women's attempts at talking to me creeps me out, and they have no hopes of ever dating me.
Or perhaps I can act like a human being and realize that these women are just trying to be friendly, and that I should not assume that their interest in me goes anywhere beyond the friendliness that humans employ with one another to make our day to day interactions more bearable. Even if they do have a crush on me, what harm is there in being polite?
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 93
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 8:12:04 AM

(jeepwmn) If you actually read what I wrote (obviously you didn't), you'd be able to tell I was born and raised here in the U.S.


Do you have "Born and raised in the U.S." tattooed on your forehead? Do you have your biography printed out and stapled to the hem of your pants? If not, why are you kicking up such a fuss about people drawing conclusions based on the data that they do have? You did it to your "creepy" neighbour. What goes around, comes around...

Dr. ES... :puke:
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 94
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 8:21:31 AM
(moonbeamlover) Oh for God's sakes.... talk about reading something and TOTALLY twisting it. Reading with a preconceived mind set? NO I didn't say he is a potential stalker; I said the feelings are the same feelings someone who stalks creates in the early stages (obviously outright terror is the feelings in the later stages).


You said this, earlier:


the way she is describing it feels like the very very early stages of stalking...


Ah, but you didn't say the word "potential"; therefore, you've had your words COMPLETELY twisted around.

Back-pedalling can be SO funny.

I'm not that bright, so please explain to me, and the viewing public, the obviously significant difference between being characterized as a "potential stalker", and qualifying for the "early stages" of being a stalker, as you say above.

Dr. ES...
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 95
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 8:32:16 AM
Well, I tried doing a search on "creepy neighbor" and "eye contact", but it looks like all the threads were locked.

There's a man who lives in my building, who is much older (15 years, maybe more), who I'm not attracted to at all, (he's thin, balding with dark hair, a little taller than me) and will never be. He just moved into the building. . A little while ago, some neighbors were talking, and just to be polite, I started talking to them. They introduced me to him. . That's how neighbors are where I am. .very friendly, maybe too friendly, sometimes. Anyhow, a couple of weeks later, I'm doing my laundry at the laundromat, I can feel someone staring at me. It's the same older man. .he continues grinning like an idiot at me, and trying to get me to look at him. Once I saw he was looking at me, I quickly looked away, and everywhere but at him. I guess he must have taken that one time I looked at him as encouragement for him to try and strike up conversation with me. I didn't even look at him as he was talking to me, and hurried out. Then, a couple of days ago, as I'm leaving my apartment to go to a Thanksgiving dinner/party, I hear this voice, and it's him, trying to strike up conversation with me. Once I saw who it was, I quickly looked away, and walked as fast as I could. This man can't seem to get the clue that I'm not interested. .some people say I should just say the truth, that he's too old and not my type. I'm not sure what else to do. This man gives me the creeps.


There is nothing in this post that suggest the guy IS a creep. What she does say is she
finds him unattractive, too old, not her type and he gives her the creeps. There is also
nothing in this post that suggests the guy has any interest in her other than being a new
neighbor and attempting to be friendly and say hello. What's the big freaking deal? She
doesn't want to be friendly with THIS particular neighbor...so just tell him that.
Say I find you unattractive, too old and you give me the creeps so farkin buzz off.

Don't be surprised if he's surprised that you thought he had romantic inclinations towards you.

Myself, I would just smile and say hello politely and not linger for conversations if
one of my neighbors gave me the creeps. Lots of people give me the creeps...I don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure I give others the creeps sometimes, but that just
makes ME smile.



PS...I just realized this was posted in the DATING EXPERIENCES forum.
WTH?
ahahahahahahahahaha!
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 96
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 8:38:11 AM

(procolharem) They live in the same building.
They were introduced.
Maybe he was trying to be a good neighbor.


I know that when *I* say "hi" to someone in the laundry room at my apartment building, it's just to say hi (I even talk to the -- wait for it -- UNATTRACTIVE people!). Having read all these reasonable responses about stalking and all the rational arguments why physically-unattractive people deserve, DESERVE I say, to be treated like second-class citizens, I'll definitely be re-thinking that strategy...

Dr. ES...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 97
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 8:41:30 AM

(clockwork lime) One of the greatest miscarriages of justice in Canada occured in 1984 to a man called Guy Paul Morin, who all the neighbours described as "creepy".


This just made me think of something: how often do the neighbours/friends/family of total nutbars tell everyone, "Oh, he was such a nice boy! No-one ever thought he'd be like that!"

Dr. ES...
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 98
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 9:41:55 AM
OP has a right to her feelings % thoughts. Wheather people agree with them or not. She also has a right to choose who she befriends, doesn't feel comfortable with etc


I missed the post where ANYBODY in this thread (including myself) said otherwise?. OP, has rights. Just as a racist has a right to think that African american or Jews moving in his/her neighborhood makes him/her uncomfortable or will bring down their property value. Just as if a Lesbian or gay person moved next door to her she has a right to view them as " creepy" and be uncomfortable.

Yes Op has the right to feel anyway she wants about this " Unattractive" person moving in her building. And since she felt the need to start a thread about her obvious bigotry..... We have a right to comdemn her for said obvious bigotry. That is our God given right, to comdemn injustice where we see it.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere" Martin Luther King.

It's very easy to stand on the sideline and say OP, has a right to this or that. But I wonder if any of you that's never experiences bigotry first hand, had a chance to experience it on some level. I doubt very much you would still be making that argument.

OP...Has rights, but when those rights extent to running down the hallway just because someone she find unattractive says "Hi" in an attempt to be a good neighbour, I for one think she is going way over the line. Her rights should not infringe on her neighbours right to be comfortable where he lives. If my neighbour ran everytime she saw me, that would be a very uncomfortable enviroment to be living in. And if I found out it was solely based on the way I looked or the color of my skin, that would make it even harder to take.
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 99
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 10:03:02 AM

(tdh49) OP...Has rights, but when those rights extent to running down the hallway just because someone she find unattractive says "Hi" in an attempt to be a good neighbour,


And how do you know that?

Hey, aren't you one of those who keeps lecturing people about not making assumptions about others? And what are you doing here? The same thing.

If she says she's creeped out, she just may be and for other reasons than the ones you mention. Just because she mentioned what he looked like doesn't mean that her impression is entirely rooted in the unattractiveness of that guy. Maybe it's a package, a bunch of details put together, and like many people, she can't always spell out what exactly is making her creeped out but gives points of references that have stuck in her mind but don't tell the whole story.
Her basic impression may be that he is creepy, and the unattractiveness may add itself to it. Remember she said he was 15 years older. A lot of people would find that creepy or inappropriate. I'm not saying that's the source of the creepiness. It must be his behaviour. His demeanor. But there may be lots of factors here justifying her feeling.

Maybe you and others could quit insisting you know how the OP thinks, and follow your own principles.

Quit telling her she's a snob. Because even if she was snobbish, she might still be right to suspect him.

It's better for her to be safe than sorry.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 100
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/3/2010 10:08:07 AM
And how do you know that?


BECAUSE SHE SAID SO.


As I'm leaving my apartment to go to thanksgiving dinner/party, I hear this voice, and it's him, trying to strike up a conversation with me. Once I saw who it was, I quicky look away, and walked as fast as I could


Yea, silly me and my " assumption".

Edit.
You're saying it's because she finds him unattractive. Not because she has any real reason to be creeped out.

That's the assumption


No that's not " assumption" that's fact based on the evidence presented by the OP. The only people making any kind of assumptions in this thread are those thinking it's something else besides his looks that makes him "creepy". Where in this thread has she posted ANYTHING that supports this? .

The " unattractive" = "creepy" theory is well validated in her posts. Can you show me evidence to support your theory?.
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