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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?      Home login  
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 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 151
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?Page 7 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Okay.


Maybe he assumed you had a child because of the stuffed animal?


and seriously.. the stuffed animal thing OH WELL.. I still sleep with one, I dont care. That wouldnt have made me (personally me) think any less of you.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 152
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:26:21 PM
As for what he specifically said, How old is your baby" Okthat's an insult right there. He's basically saying I look like I had a baby, which implies I need to lose weight.(No offence to anyone, I'm just saying what it sounded like to me. And I'm well aware that there are plenty of women who've had children who are thinner/in better shape than myself) I'm trying to do that, but that's besides the point. By that time I was completely turned off. I told him curtly, "I don't have one" "Oh you don't?" No apology. That is why I find that creepy..and him as well


I wonder how the people that defended you in this thread feel now after reading this?
This isn't about the guy being "creepy" it's about him insulting you(in your mind) by calling you fat?. How dare he a much older, bald, unattractive guy, think of you as FAT. Fact is OP this guy(if your last post is to be believed) Is not the least bit attracted to you, because he thinks you're fat(in your mind).

My apology OP, your ego isn't over inflated, it's battered and bruised because some old, bald, unattractive guy, has smashed it all to bits by calling you fat inadvertently. So to soothe your bruised ego you come with this made up story about him wanting you, and your need to tell him your not interested. When he already told you he wasn't by implying you need to lose a few pounds?.

Your bruised ego would not even let you be honest in this thread. Instead of telling the truth about the laundry room incident, you made up some wild tale that made no sense about him commenting about your laundry.
 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 153
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:32:49 PM
Foreverstacey: Well, that's good to know that I'm not the only one who still keeps a stuffed animal. Can't have a pet now, so this is the next best thing.I wasn't ignoring your post. .I'm trying to keep up! I wish there was a real time chat room sometimes. I didn't say that wasn't the reason why he said that. .I just meant most people don't go commenting on other people's belongings.

Bruised and battered? Hardly. . Pissed off, that someone I don't find attractive keeps staring at me. .accurate. But, the creepy label still applies. .he was staring previously when there were other people present, and when other people were present in the laundromat. He could have talked to any of them. .And thank you, there were other people bigger than myself. So, he could have stared at them. Why would I care what this man thinks?
 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 154
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:34:04 PM
You seem to care a little too much.



but you didnt respond to what I wrote... could he not have thought you had a child because of the whole stuffed animal thing?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 155
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:34:31 PM
Because you and a few others might find it childish if he commented on the stuffed animals I had in my laundry. therefore, the omission of facts


OP the guy wasn't calling you fat, he saw the stuffed animals and came to the conclusion you had a child. That was just an honest mistake, one that most people would have made.


And I've never run into anyone who kept looking at someone long enough to determine what was in my laundry

Op stuffed animals in a laundry basket would stand out, all it would take was a glance to see them. I hardly think the guy had to be staring at you to see stuffed animals.


By that time, I was completely turned off


Ahhhh! so he had a shot at seeing your victoria secrets, until he made the mistake of insulting you? It was only AFTER he insulted you that he became creepy?.
 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 156
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:41:29 PM
I think a lot of females still sleep with stuff animals to be honest.. whether they admit it or not.

So you don't feel like he was insinuating that you were fat then? Or you still do? I'm confused. I comment on peoples belongings if I'm trying to make polite conversation. Ive even been walking down the street and saw someones shoe's i liked and told them so.
 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 157
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:42:05 PM
Oh. .maybe you're trying to be funny, but it's starting to make me hurl. No, what I meant was. .he had no shot at all. I said I was completely turned off in response to icequeen suggesting I could have asked why he thought I had a baby. In other words, I was so turned off, I just wanted to get out of there, even if that meant running , literally. And yes, I still believe he was insinuating I am overweight. Technically, no, by LA standards, yes.
So, I'm curious, if most grown women don't bring their stuffed animals to the laundromat, where do they take them?
As far as to why the weight is an issue, when you've grown up, with someone saying "You're never going to lose weight if you eat that candy", or when you go on dates. and one of them says that I should have included a full body picture. (This person is on the small/thin side), but posted a picture that made them appear not so much so, the brain automatically goes to weight as a issue.
 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 158
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:48:51 PM
Okay, so why did you automatically assume he felt you were overweight and thats what he was saying? We've established the baby thing was because of the stuffed animal. This sounds sort of like maybe a sore point for you and thats why your brain automatically went to being offended.


We all have had our struggles with weight. ALL OF US. You have to push past that and not let it cripple you. If you arent happy with something about yourself that can be changed, then change it. I can see why that possibility hurt your feelings... but its okay! We're all humans, and we all have our issues and our insecurities.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 159
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:55:02 PM
No, what I meant was. .he had no shot at all. I said I was completely turned off in response to icequeen suggesting I could have asked why he thought I had a baby. In other words, I was so turned off, I just wanted to get out of there, even if that meant running, literally.


No OP, you made the comment about being completely turned off BEFORE icequeen made the comment about him asking you about having a baby. Fact is your "completely turned off" comment was made in the same post that we first find out about him thinking you had a baby..... So I ask again...... Did he have a chance of knockin them boots until he insulted you?

FYI... OP if your over weight in the interest of full disclosure, it would be better if you use " A few extra pounds" instead of "athletic" in your profile. that way men that meet you will not be disappointed when they meet you for the first time. Kudos to you by the way for working on losing the extra weight.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 160
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History
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:57:20 PM
So it's his fault you got fat and you feel self concious about it?

Lose weight, problem solved.
 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 161
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 7:17:46 PM
Well, thanks for the suggestions, and I've gone to the doctor, for help/advice on losing weight, and she has said that I'm not. But, I know I need to , and am working on it! So, I'm saying, there is no average weight, but overweight for LA standards button. I'm well aware that there has to be an outtake/intake deficit. And the profile will be hidden till I lose the weight.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 162
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History
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 7:32:02 PM
So finaly, after 8 pages of post, we get to the "REAL" issue here. The "Creepy" guy meerly triggered your issues with your internal struggle concerning your external appearance.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 163
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 7:47:26 PM
Well, thanks for the suggestions, and I've gone to the doctor, for help/advice on losing weight, and she has said that I'm not. but, I know I need to, and am working on it! So, I'm saying, there is no average weight, but overweight for LA standards button. I'm well aware that there has to be an outtake/intake deficit. And the profile will be hidden till I lose the weight


Op I have ridden you pretty hard in this thread. Reason being your story made very little sense to me, it just did not have the ring of truth to it. Well now with the added info it does make perfect sense. With that in mind I think I will put away the tar and feather now.


And the profile will be hidden till I lose the weight


OP, work on losing weight if that will make you happy. But you can still date while working on it. Not all guys are hung up on weight, even in LA. And honestly I am on the side of your doctor, I don't see where you need to lose any.

This thread has been very interesting.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 164
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Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/5/2010 9:39:32 PM
jeepwmn Whatever you want to do for "self improvement" do for yourself only. Shut out all the noise of other people, improve yourself if you feel you need or want to for you only. Self improvement I think of as akin to self actualization, it's the highest level, for Maslow, on the highest level of needs. I do agree to the extent that we all NEED to find that place of acceptance, and happiness with who we are. Like ourselves, to move past to actually love ourselves, Know ourselves fully, most resist that, but to accept embrace, and like and even come to love that person in the mirror. Not to the extent of narcissism...it's a phenomena but those who ARE narcissitic, dislike themselves, they put on the mask of over self love and selfishness, almost insanely egotistic. If you peel away the layers, it's a smoke screen for self loathing.

Many are so much more critical of ourselves, we're too short, too tall, have curly hair or want to have curly hair...ad infinitum. People often tend to be so harder on themselves, so if someone else does, it just affirms that,

I've learned that it's not only good, but totally healthy to be good to myself, to treat myself. I often do that for others that I care about, and I finally gave myself permission to be good to me. I have also come to learn, accept, and embrace and encourage others treat the person in the mirror the same as you would to everyone else you care about. I know it does start there, you can't give something you don't have. I truly believe, we are best equipped to love others when we've learned to love ourselves.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 165
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 2:49:01 AM
We're all getting a bit ahead of ourselves, and outrageous now, arent we?
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 166
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 7:02:33 AM
OP: The laundry item that he commented on was a STUFFED ANIMAL and that lead you to believe he's CREEPY?!! Here I'm thinking he commented on your lingerie, thong or bra. LMAO!!! To add to the dramatics, you believe he was insinuating you are FAT because he asked if you had a child (upon viewing the STUFFED ANIMAL)??

The plot thickens with your weight issue (you have athletic on your profile..so which is it?). Sorry, but either you're trolling or you aren't very good at "story telling".
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 167
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 7:07:17 AM

(foreverstacey) and seriously.. the stuffed animal thing OH WELL.. I still sleep with one, I dont care.


I have a stuffed Cthulhu plush doll...

Dr. ES...
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 168
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 7:10:08 AM

OP: The laundry item that he commented on was a STUFFED ANIMAL and that lead you to believe he's CREEPY?!!


No, she described several other things and it's his behaviour in general, how he was grinning, staring, nosey, etc, which made her feel creeped out

Why do you practice selective reading? Is that how you make your point?
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 169
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 7:13:41 AM

No, she described several other things and it's his behaviour in general, how he was grinning, staring, nosey, etc, which made her feel creeped out

Why do you practice selective reading? Is that how you make your point?


^^^I "practice selective reading"? None of this makes sense and tidbits keep being put into the equation. Which leads me to believe something isn't jiving.

You're entitled to your opinion, and this is mine.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 170
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 7:15:08 AM


Again, she's given NO REASON as to why he creeps her out except that he's unattractive and tries to talk to her. That my friend, is not a creepy person.


(jrodriguea81) In her defense...sometimes you dont exactly have actual "reasons" as to why someone is creepy. They're just creepy. They can come off as socially awkward, strange, and various other things that make them seem creepy. People do give off vibes.


True. What's gotten my finely sculpted, aquiline nose out of joint, though, is that she's trying to argue that there's some objective standard to "creepy", rather than just admitting to herself that it's a judgement call.

Anyway, it's FINALLY come out in the wash that this is all about her self-image issues, and not her "creepy" neighbour at all...

Dr. ES...
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 171
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 7:56:04 AM

None of this makes sense and tidbits keep being put into the equation. Which leads me to believe something isn't jiving.


I haven't read every single post, but I read somewhere that she a bit embarrassed about revealing a certain detail (the stuffed animal).
Just because she didn't say everything at once, does that mean she's lying, making it up?

Can't we just assume, reasonably, that even if she didn't deliver her story in the most complete, straightforward manner the first time, that she could still be creeped out? And with good reason?

If she's not lying about how the guy behaved, I can understand it could creep out a woman. I can't be sure without having been there, but it sounds plausible.
Why are you so opposed to this?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 172
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 8:05:02 AM

Can't we just assume


Oh so now that you totally ran out of any kind of real argument, you're willing to start ASSUMING? But two pages ago you were lecturing me about making assumptions. I guess assumptions is only ok if used to make your argument?

Besides this thread is now a dud. OP has already come clean, we now know what her motives were. You still sticking to your baseless argument is just silly.
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 173
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 8:13:22 AM
procolharem,

This is how she described it: (italics mine)


He just moved into the building (So it's recent, he doesn't know her well). . A little while ago, some neighbors were talking, and just to be polite, I started talking to them. (...) Anyhow, a couple of weeks later, I'm doing my laundry at the laundromat, I can feel someone staring at me. It's the same older man. .he continues grinning like an idiot at me, and trying to get me to look at him. (he's not just looking at her, it's sustained, he grins, wants to get her attention, he's a stranger) (...)Then, a couple of days ago, as I'm leaving my apartment to go to a Thanksgiving dinner/party, I hear this voice, and it's him, trying to strike up conversation with me. Once I saw who it was, I quickly looked away, and walked as fast as I could. This man can't seem to get the clue that I'm not interested. .some people say I should just say the truth, that he's too old and not my type. I'm not sure what else to do. This man gives me the creeps.


What is so hard to understand? She gave him enough clues, and the guy persisted, grins like an idiot, tries to talk to her anyway, he's older, etc

And he's a stranger..

So I think any woman could be entitled to feel uncomfortable. Whether her doubts turn out to be accurate or not.
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 174
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 8:19:01 AM

Oh so now that you totally ran out of any kind of real argument, you're willing to start ASSUMING? But two pages ago you were lecturing me about making assumptions. I guess assumptions is only ok if used to make your argument?


You have difficulty making the nuance between 'assuming' as I meant it in the other posts, and assuming, here.

Or do you deliberately pretend to not be able to...

But in any case think again.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 175
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History
Creepy neighbor, should I be direct and say I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/6/2010 8:55:20 AM
Way too many contradictions in this tale!!

First post you clearly stated

I'm doing my laundry at the laundromat, I can feel someone staring at me. It's the same older man. .he continues grinning like an idiot at me, and trying to get me to look at him. Once I saw he was looking at me, I quickly looked away, and everywhere but at him. I guess he must have taken that one time I looked at him as encouragement for him to try and strike up conversation with me. I didn't even look at him as he was talking to me, and hurried out.


and then now you come up with the stuffed animal bull......and say there actually
was a conversation between the 2 of you.

I call straight bull!

You continually point out the fact you are not attracted to him.....

Bruised and battered? Hardly. . Pissed off, that someone I don't find attractive keeps staring at me. .accurate

This is the defining post for me......... It is perfectly clear if he was attractive......
this story wouldn't exist.
All this "he thought I was fat" crap is just your way of sidetracking the truth.
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