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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 26
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Actually the only way this can happen is if you assume the women you're dating know what your intentions are. That can easily be avoided by making it clear in your profile you're not looking to settle down. Surprised you'd not want to be upfront about this.

Then those women will avoid you, and you'll be grateful for it. Everyone wins.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 27
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 12/6/2010 6:14:33 PM
Tell them that BEFORE you go out with them.
If you don't, you're dating under false pretenses and wasting their time.


Some women also serial date.
Seek those out and take a number.
 curmudgeon_ed
Joined: 11/24/2010
Msg: 28
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 12/11/2010 10:47:32 AM
nothing wrong at all ...if you want to be single...

what is wrong about it is the manipulation thats involved to have your way when you know the other person wants all of you...

and stop referring to me as a collective "female"..i'm only one person....its demeaning and proves your malice as its indicitive of a person who is purposely distancing himself from the opposite gender and dehumanizing us so that you can continue to womanize...grow the **** up and be honest about just wanting nsa sex..your co-species of men will appreciate that you didnt **** up another woman in the head when they find her and want a real relationship with her
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 29
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 12/11/2010 11:03:02 AM

Some women also serial date.
Seek those out and take a number.

I sense this is the crux of the activities of someone who tends to date a lot of people who want a relationship yet don't want anything serious. They, ironically, don't want the competition. No problem doing the same thing on their end though.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 30
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 12/11/2010 1:31:11 PM
As long as you are up front, about wanting a companion for a freind and not a relationship it is fine.
If you start out like you want to "find someone", and then change into someone that just wants to be freinds, then a person will read that as I am not that into you, but would like to remain freinds and see each other until something else comes along.
When something else comes along do you continue to keep in contact with this person?
Are you hands off, or do you think it is okay to be romantic with a freind.

If someone want's freindship with me, that is fine, but this will be completely platonic nothing physical period!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 31
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 12/11/2010 5:14:10 PM
~OT~ There's not a thing wrong with multi-dating/serial dating if one is honest about what they're doing. I'm multi-dating at the moment. As of yet, I have not had to explain that to anyone, but when the time comes that I need to, I most certainly will. Oddly? This is the most fun I've had in the world of dating for a VERY long time. Of course, this means I'm back in abstinence mode, but even that is working well. It's like being 16 again. No sex, no worries, just old fashioned dating.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 32
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What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 12/12/2010 3:58:48 AM

If one is ONLY looking to date around and fill up their dance card, then be UP FRONT about it with anyone they date, from the very start - that is just common sense and common courtesy. I suspect if some of the women you date are taking issue with the fact that you serial date is because you are NOT being UP FRONT with them/poor communication on your part.

Not everyone out there just wants to date a half dozen people at the same time, merely for the fun factor. Just as not everyone who doesn't subscribe to the serial-dating mindset is automatically clingy and insecure and looking to get hitched to the first person that comes along. If dating is nothing more than various outings with very people just for the fun and socialization, then why not just do that with friends? Why even call it a "date"?

There are actually people out there who feel that it takes a few dates to determine if someone is a match for them and when they get to the point they realize this to be the case, it can be rather frustrating to find out that they were developing a slow connection or "click" with someone who was merely window-shopping, or acting like a kid in a candy store.

People and their feelings aren't like a pair of shoes you wear a few times then toss away or replace. Most people seek to establish a growing connection with someone otherwise they'd just hang out with their friends for entertainment/socialization.


Exactly this.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 33
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 12/12/2010 5:21:13 AM
Nothing spells lovin' like marking your territory eh?


Remind me to lift my leg, and pee on my date's leg whenever I see her. That way no one else will touch her.

 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 34
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What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 12/12/2010 7:11:47 AM
The problem is that people have different ideas of what dating is. Many feel that it is just a casual thing and doesn't mean you have to be tied down with one person,while others feel it means you're together exclusively. As other posters have said,you have to be sure that the women you're dating feel the same way you do. Ask them when you meet.
 3cutsabove
Joined: 12/5/2010
Msg: 35
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 12/15/2010 10:51:09 PM
Dates are a kind of socializing. You are assessing romantic potential in the person you're on a date with. If your date has romantic potential, then you go on a second date and eventually become a couple. The more dates you go on with more people, the more you're narrowing down your list of potentials. It doesn't mean that you have to follow silly and arbitrary rules like must kiss on the second date or other funny expectations. That's all it is. People who have a problem with "serial dating" are insecure.

My two cents.
 Civilized Rebel
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 36
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 12/15/2010 11:16:38 PM
OP... I think you are going about it all wrong. I thought you were supposed to put into her, get her to trust you and then vanish without a trace? Bonus points for getting her to loan you money before you fall off the face of the Earth.

If they are complaining, then you must be doing something wrong. I suggest that you don't bring up the subject until after you have wrinkled her sheets and are finished with her. Maybe you can wait long enough to tell her she had better go to the county health department to make sure she doesn't pass along chlamydia to her kids on the last day you see her... but before you do make sure she took care of your car payment.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 37
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What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 1/5/2011 9:13:27 PM
If someone were dating more than one person at once, I can see how that would work well in the old days, when it was pretty much assumed it was just dating and having fun. And it wasn't anyone else's business who they were dating. Why would it be?

But how does that work today? Even if someone only were dating any one person once or twice, and even if the dates really were just casual fun with no sex involved, how could anyone else assume that? It seems like most people might want to think the person they're out with didn't already have a former bedmate (or a new one) lined up for the next night. But what would give anyone reason to think they didn't?

If a man were considering going out with a woman who dated like that, she could have had it off with every guy she went out with even once, as far as he could know. And even if it were the man who was dating that way, how could a woman considering going out with him know but what most of his dates had been with women who'd wanted NSA sex, just like he had. And had it with him.

That's great, if you're you're both on the same page. Neither of you wants to get involved, you like each other's looks, and you're both horny. Maybe you spend a couple or a few nights together, and that's that--and no one's feelings are likely to be hurt.

Sort of like having an escort provide you a "girlfriend experience," as a guy I once met described it, but better. Whatever you spend will only be going to the restaurant, bar, or theater. And you'll probably get as many repeat sessions as you're up for, get to see her have real orgasms, and have her kiss you with more passion than an escort could afford to show. Have to be careful, though--kissing like you mean it can stir up emotional attachment pretty fast.

Not so hard for guys to keep their emotions out of things, even when they're very thrilling. And novelty certainly helps make them that way. But the women who go for these quick affairs must either just feel they're getting an itch scratched, or they've learned how to have strong orgasms without letting their hearts get involved. Maybe they control things by telling the man just what to kiss, fondle, or enter, and how, and when. Or maybe they've learned to control their oxytocin production, like a yogi training his heartbeat or something--God knows.

But if one of the two--say the man--is hoping for something a little more satisfying than that, just how could it start? Maybe he's aware of the complaints about boorish men who pressure women for sex, and he's not planning to push too hard the first couple dates. And maybe he likes her, and isn't dating anyone else at the moment.

If she is, though, the fact she agrees to see him again doesn't mean she has to stop. And she's not about to tell him what she's doing--after all, it's her business, and she hardly knows him. By your second date, say the next weekend, she could have had sex with someone else, or maybe more than one.

Say she thinks you might offer her something other than sex, and so she agrees to a third date. Before then, she could have had casual sex with yet another guy--and yet it would still no one's business but her own, would it? But if you then had sex with this woman--even if it were great, feelings developed, and you agreed only to have sex with each other--how would you feel?

Or, how would most women feel, I wonder, if you reversed the sex roles in this little scenario (not that it's as likely to happen that way.) I'd guess knowing it would bother them less, because they could be sure that whatever the guy had been doing with other women was "just sex." The research I've seen shows that the idea of sharing a lover sexually tends to bother men more, whereas it seems to cut women deeper to think the man they love is sharing his romantic, emotional side with another woman.

I'd usually think it would be best not to know what had happened. And all the more so, if it had been happening a lot, and at the same time you were first dating someone. If so, better hope that person, or one of their friends who knows about it, never lets it slip out in a careless moment. Is that a situation most people would choose as their ideal--what they'd feel best about? And I wonder how safe, either medically or emotionally, most people would feel in that situation--especially if the relationship developed into something serious.

I can see the advantages of dating several people at once, just for fun--at least for a while. But wouldn't someone have to be pretty naive, these days, to assume that didn't involve sex--even if it didn't?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 38
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 1/5/2011 10:20:09 PM

I get my fair share of dates, the problem is that when she wants to see me again, she wants me to stop dating other women, even though I make it clear that I don't sleep around and the dating is just public-based socializing (usually nothing more than meeting at a coffee shop and then walking around the lake or the mall).

My best friend and I go out to eat lunch regularly and she's even picked up the tab the last two times, but that wasn't a date. Hmmm... What do you suppose the difference between eating lunch with an attractive woman (which is ok with my fiancee) and dating her (which would not be ok with my fiancee) might be?
 letsgocanes11
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 39
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 1/6/2011 6:58:54 AM
If I wanted to I could have a date lined up for every night of the week. I have done this before. The problem is that it gets really expensive, I get girls stories mixed up and end up looking like a jackass, I call my date the name of the girl I went out with last night, and I don't actually give anyone a fair chance to actually get to know them. I have learned to just stick with one person and get to know them. I am afterall seeking a relationship. Let's not forget running into a previous date that wants to see you again while on another date with someone else. Yes this has happened to me. Twice in one week! Dating multiple people a week is fun but also problematic in my opinion...
 ChrisD1957
Joined: 12/20/2010
Msg: 40
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 1/6/2011 8:27:37 AM
I assume everyone has realized this profile and post is a joke right? Look at the profile...most trolls are a bit more creative
 newreality2010
Joined: 10/29/2010
Msg: 41
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History
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 1/6/2011 12:50:55 PM
Are you taking all these ladies 'round the same bingo hall? Maybe the rumor mongerin' has got their feathers in a ruffle. Try mixing it up a bit.
 SilveryMoonGoddess
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 42
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 1/7/2011 3:07:09 PM
There is nothing wrong with it... so long as you make it perfeectly clear that they are not the only ones you will be seeing and you do not lead someone to believe that they are.
 RUtoxic4Me
Joined: 1/3/2011
Msg: 43
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 6/10/2011 9:33:20 PM
I'M very skeptical of serial dating in women. It seems like they are a YO-YO going from one guy to another and so on and back again in a matter of a couple of weeks . I get the suspicion that they are not testing the waters to see who Mr. Right is. It's more of an EGO trip and falls under the USERS bracket. Just think in a womans perspective a real man is supposed to pay for the dinner, outing and whole date in general. Guys are suckers as well and will try to buy the women off with materialism. If a guy is a serial dater he is a PLAYER looking for a BOOTY CALL, if a woman does it, she is just expanding her horizons. Or are they. THINK ABOUT IT GUYS!!!!
 Jay504702
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 44
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 6/12/2011 4:21:52 PM
In theory nothing is wrong with dating a serial dater........ Some people feel it is just a sign that you have a fear of commitment, which always isnt the case. Most people look at more then one house or car before buying. I think a person should be able to look around until the one comes along.

It also might be more about control.
 fryan
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 45
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 6/12/2011 9:34:24 PM
As long as you're honest about it, there is nothing wrong with it. It's when you deceive or mislead people, that's what is wrong. Regardless of what you're looking for, you owe it to the other person to be honest. After all, that's what you'd expect from them, right?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 46
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 8/20/2012 12:25:34 PM
There's nothing wrong with your attitude. Yet realize that there's nothing wrong with THEIR attitude.

It would not work for me. First of all, I like sex too much. So if I date someone is with the intent to eventually become intimate and have sex. Plenty of sex. But when I am having sex with one person, I want to see where that will take us. So I would prefer to then have sex with only one person. And as I honor that, for the sake of safety, they honor something similar. So for that to work, going out with other potential partners is not advisable.

So find people that are compatible with your goals.
 MustLuvDogz
Joined: 7/29/2012
Msg: 47
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 8/20/2012 12:52:56 PM
The part that I don't like is how you say "even if you later discover that he doesn't want a relationship". Why is she discovering this later? Do you present to her that you want a relationship and then pull the switch and say 'nope, actually i'm just looking for fun. But you had fun too, so it's all good!'. It doesn't matter if it was fun. Because bottom line, if she's looking for the one, you've wasted her time by being deceptive. Maybe the love of her life was ready to meet her, but she passed on him because she thought she had a future with YOU. Be completely honest and upfront about what you want, and then let HER decide if she wants that as well.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 48
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 8/20/2012 1:06:02 PM

I'm having difficulty understanding why most females think that regularly dating the same guy is just a waste of time unless it appears to be headed for a relationship. If you have fun with the guy during the date, nothing is going to change that fact of past history even if you later discover that he doesn't want a relationship. Right?



UHHHHH seriously..i will try not to cuss on this 1..

first off i dont know about everybody eles.. but if im seeing/sleeping with the same person regularly YES i expect it to eventually lead to something more then just that.same as if your playing a game on xbox or play station dont you expect to level up after a certain amount of time or trials an errors an successful missions..

otherwise whats the point in putting time emotion an energy into somebody an a situation whom there is no possiable future with atleast long term relationship,,

hell if thats the case then we need to just be platonic friends an keep it at that..

an wrong it does change the whole game why the hell would i want to step up an do everything that goes with being a couple or having a boyfriend to an with a guy who in the first place never wanted to date me or have something meaningful together even worse would be at looking at my time lost with him when he could have just said all this upfront not oh by the way crap..

an as for why some people have a problem with a serial dater

A) competition 1 person agianst 5 to 10 others dancing for the same persons attention isnt fair at all..
S hit halla at me when your serious an are actually free..

B) you will never be number 1 it will be like musical chairs as soon as the song comes on you better hurry up an get to the 1 free chair they have waiting or eles be left on the bench till they personally call your number..

C) wonders how many of these other people are you also sleeping with that you call yourself casually dating..
how many other beds are you laying in 7days aweek before you get back to mine..

D) an in the end there can only really be number 1 if your seeing/fuking more then 2 people at a time best belive there is somebody they have subconsiously picked as their favorite an they will eventually drop the others you just have to hope its you getting picked an not the 1 whos getting dropped..
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 49
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 8/20/2012 1:07:18 PM

MustLuvDogz
The part that I don't like is how you say "even if you later discover that he doesn't want a relationship". Why is she discovering this later? Do you present to her that you want a relationship and then pull the switch and say 'nope, actually i'm just looking for fun. But you had fun too, so it's all good!'. It doesn't matter if it was fun. Because bottom line, if she's looking for the one, you've wasted her time by being deceptive. Maybe the love of her life was ready to meet her, but she passed on him because she thought she had a future with YOU. Be completely honest and upfront about what you want, and then let HER decide if she wants that as well.



EXACTLY!!!!
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 50
What exactly is wrong with serial dating?
Posted: 8/20/2012 6:11:11 PM

I'm having difficulty understanding why most females think that regularly dating the same guy is just a waste of time unless it appears to be headed for a relationship. If you have fun with the guy during the date, nothing is going to change that fact of past history even if you later discover that he doesn't want a relationship. Right?


WRONG. Women who are looking for a loving relationship don't want to waste their time with players like you who lead them on just for sex. You are hurting women and making it harder for them to trust honorable men.
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