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 jackfouru
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 224
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.Page 13 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

Christians may believe that Jesus died for all of our sins and we needed that human sacrifice to reconnect with Yahweh/Jehovah, but to our ancestors that was a very strange teaching.


I've never been Christian so maybe should not have an opinion about this, but I think LOTS of people today find this very strange. As I heard a former Christian now Atheist said: Jesus admittedly had a very bad day on the day he died, but his suffering hardly matched what many humans have gone through over the years.

So I for one, forever searching, never understood how Jesus dying on the Cross died for our sins . . or what one has to do with the other. But maybe this is not the forum to discuss it.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 226
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 2/10/2011 7:59:03 AM

He didn't say to hide it, he said to essentially accept there are differences in faith. Lots of interfaith marriages work just fine. Granted if you are a diehard Catholic and cannot accept another's beliefs, there will likely be problems in paradise. But the best relationships are those that allow for the other's beliefs and their own freedom to choose, imho.


Ray of Moonlight, the above poster understood what I meant.

As far as you saying what I believe is clear, I highly doubt you have the slightest clue.

But, I wish you the best of luck in broadening your horizons, thinking outside the box, etc !

 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 227
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 2/10/2011 8:49:21 AM
I've been agnostic and I've been Christian. I'm not too keen on organized religion any more. Too much hypocrisy for me. I have been active in at least one church that was very much "alive" and "vibrant". I left because I was unable to fulfill the requirement to spread the word and help try to bring in new members.

I won't push my beliefs on anybody else, and I couldn't be with someone who belittles mine. (As vague as they are are the moment.)

As far as I understand it, an atheist is someone who actively denies the existence of any kind of deity. I could be with a spiritualist, but probably not with someone who believes that death is the end of all.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 228
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 2/10/2011 3:48:49 PM

I could be with a spiritualist, but probably not with someone who believes that death is the end of all.


+ 1

...but I still wouldn't say that it couldn't possibly work.
 Aristotle_Amadopolis
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 229
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/23/2012 8:19:02 AM

What would you do if you were in his situation?

Do not put yourself in that situation, just nip that little problem in the butt.

What is the best way to stop your child becoming an atheist?
Posted on 06 July, 2011 by A. Dave

Do not educate them, or expose them to critical thinking, logic or science.

Lie to them constantly about how the world works. Feed them a steady diet of mumbo jumbo dressed up like real knowledge – the jumbo jet in the whirlwind for example – and pretend that it is deep wisdom.

Make them loathe their own natural bodies and functions. Convince them they are small and weak and worthless and need redemption. Tell them everything enjoyable is grievously wrong to even think about, and that their only fun should be in grovelling to an invisible friend.

Ensure that they resent anyone who is not like them in every way – skin color, nationality, political opinion but especially creed. Make such people out to be evil and vile and give them – impotent minorities all – the fictional power to somehow oppress and persecute the vast majority who do think like you.

Teach them to laugh at and dismiss out of hand any faith but their own. Early – early mind you – make sure they are taught the difference between superstitious deadly error – that one raving lunatic in the desert told the truth about a vicious god who killed people, and divine eternal truth – that another raving lunatic in the desert told the truth about a vicious god who killed people.

Instruct them with all severity and import to never question for themselves – to never think for themselves – to never live for themselves – but to seek answers only in one – just one – particular set of semi-literate bronze age folk tales.

Above all – and this cannot be overemphasized – make sure they cannot spell, use correct grammar, or understand basic English words.

That should do the trick.

http://atheistdave.wordpress.com/2011/07/06/what-is-the-best-way-to-stop-your-child-becoming-an-atheist/
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 230
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/23/2012 10:30:34 AM
tdh49,
I think a united front when it comes to raising kids is very very important. Can you imagine the confusion involving the kids, when one parent is telling them all about God, while the other is rolling his eyes as if to say "Yea right"?.


If you have a demeaning attitude about other people's religious beliefs, then I am quite sure that relationship would not work.

But I wouldn't marry her, likely once you get married religion will become more and more of an issue. On the other hand, as people get older and closer to death, they often “find God”.
 Damienevil
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 231
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/23/2012 10:42:03 AM
I would tell her then the relationship goes no further as I can not do that. So I would end it since it will not give what the atheist is looking for or the religious person. I do not get why she would even date an atheist if she has those kind of beliefs.
 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 232
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/23/2012 11:40:57 AM
so really she wants to force him to "fake it" for her? he could if he really, really wants to be with her, just lie and pretend that he believes in 'god' -how would she know otherwise?

but that would cause much stress & resentment over time. likely divorce in the end

no-one can "just decide" they will beleive in something they do not believe in, or 'force themselves to -you do, or you do not.

I've tried believing in pink unicorns b/c drunk friends saw them, but it didn't work for me
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 233
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/23/2012 11:59:32 AM
I can't imagine getting to the point of asking someone to marry me without having the religion discussion.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 234
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/23/2012 4:41:32 PM
both girlfriend and boyfriend should have discussed marriage before getting married.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 235
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/23/2012 5:19:24 PM
Ah, the woman is a ninety percent-er. Meaning the guy is 90% of what she wants and she believe she can change that remaining 10% into what she wants.

Changing because she demands it won't work.

Eventually she'll have to find a guy who is 100% of what she wants or she'll have to learn to accept the 10% that isn't.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 237
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/24/2012 7:02:12 PM
They could just attend Unitarian services as a compromise. Neither of them would feel uncomfortable, and she would be raising kids in a church going home.
 Gertrude13
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 238
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/24/2012 7:02:36 PM
It depends on how you frame it, I think.

It is more than reasonable for a person with a deep faith in God to not want to marry an atheist. For one thing, many religious people consider marriage a sacrament, two people vowing before God that they will become one. Of course a person who believes this way couldn't marry an atheist.

So, did she give him an ultimatum? "Believe in God or we're DONE"? Or did she say, "I love you and want to be with you, but I can't vow before God with someone who doesn't believe He exists.

Of course he can't convert to Christianity to please her. That would be a lie. If she tried to coerce him into that, she would be terribly wrong. But refusing to participate in a sacrament with someone who does not believe is perfectly reasonable.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 240
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/25/2012 3:42:59 AM
It's asking too much. If he isn't asking her to become an Atheist, why should she ask him to become a Christian? Christianity is supposed to teach people not to judge. Atheism, I suppose would be left up to the individual. If they are madly in love, none of it should matter.
 legnakrad
Joined: 11/4/2007
Msg: 242
view profile
History
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/25/2012 5:00:25 AM
It is a fair demand but she should have told him before they got involved. If I was in that situation i'd walk away. If someone doesn't respect me for who I am then there is no relationship.
 Gertrude13
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 243
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/25/2012 7:22:16 AM
She cannot marry him, not if she wants to remain true to her faith. We all compromise our values to a degree, but most of us have a "hard stop" beyond which cannot/should not go.
She is willing to stay with him, and does not seem to be issuing an ultimatum. The couple just has to decide what is most important - being together in a way that does not compromise their values, or seeking the white dress and picket fence elsewhere.
 AxMurderer
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 244
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/25/2012 7:42:17 AM
She's not wrong to not marry him. It's perfectly reasonable for her to marry who she wants to.

She's foolish to ask him to convert. Of course, someone who doesn't believe in God isn't just going to start. It's not like Atheists choose to not believe in God. We just look at the evidence objectively, and come to the obvious logical conclusion. Most Atheists would much rather that God existed. If he "converted", he would be lying, and untrue to both himself and his wife. Does she really want that?

One of the problems with dating someone religious is there is, by default, a lack of logical thinking. For one to come to the conclusion that there is a sky fairy who controls all, that has never shown himself to the world, when there is so much contradictory evidence readily apparent to all, there has to be a logical breakdown.

In his situation, I would explain to her that I couldn't get myself to believe in God any more than I could get myself to believe in the tooth fairy. I would continue to date her and enjoy our relationship.
 Michelangelo1976
Joined: 1/18/2012
Msg: 245
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/25/2012 7:52:46 AM
As a Christian I've had far worse experiences with Christian women than with non. Imagine that.
 A_Gent
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 246
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/25/2012 12:49:49 PM
Would it be reasonable for the atheist to say... go to church if you want, but don't expect me to join you or support you in your beliefs?

I think she was justified in her question. They both knew they would have to deal with it sooner or later... too bad it was so much later.

The smarter thing to do would have been to not start dating someone she knew she would not marry in the first place.

Good judgement comes from experience.

Experience comes from poor judgement.
 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 247
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/25/2012 2:27:39 PM

She cannot marry him, not if she wants to remain true to her faith.



From OP (post # 1) :


Now keep in mind that the bible does not believe in sex before marriage, but these two people have a very full sex life.


hasn't that ship already sailed? fvcking this guy before they were married is not being exactly 'true to her faith' at least as I understand the credos of Christianity?

or is it pretty much a cafeteria thing? " I'll obey this rule, and that one, but not that other one, nor this one, nor rule # 9 & # 10, which I don't like" ?
 Gertrude13
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 248
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/25/2012 3:09:45 PM
^^^There's a difference between fornicating and going through a sacrament under false pretenses. Most Christians do have premarital sex, but few of them would be comfortable with blasphemy. It's a subtle distinction for the non-religious, but pretty clear for a person who considers marriage a sacrament. In any case, it does not sound like she is trying to force him into a religious conversion.
 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 249
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/25/2012 3:22:43 PM
^^ ah right I get it, it's up to each person to interpret the bible how they want it to read or how they think it was "meant" to read..or what they really meant when they wrote it.

e.g. I have been informed that 'thou shalt not kill " means nothing as silly as "you must not kill" --no-- it "really" means not murder, and many forms of killing are perfectly fine, e.g. of opposing soldiers, people in different uniform, or not in uniform if they can be labeled as possible 'insurgents' . etc., when you are told t, or basically whenever it is necessary or one feels like there's a decent reason to do so.

fun to have a book that is supposed to be so 'sacred' & 'inviolate' & 'never-changing' & 'eternal word of god' , then decide as you go, what it 'really means e.g. the warnings against borrowing or lending money- practical in modern society so let's all do it anyway


of course one can't expect than god would have foreseen the changes in society at the time 'he' 'wrote' these passages..don't expect 'omniscient & omnipotent' to REALLY literally mean those things -how silly!

she should simply get a 'ruling' from a pastor, priest etc. that getting married is not a sacred rite, at least at this time, or for her -reasons to follow- or get a special exemption/dispensation - a donation of at least $2,000 to the church should guarantee that! :)
 Mozzily
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 250
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/25/2012 3:55:52 PM
That is very unfair on her part plus you dont beleive in a god, its not something you can just switch on and off, If you dont beleive in god then you just dont. Its wrong that she asked that of you, why dont you start beleiving in santa and the easter bunny while your at it :)
 Gertrude13
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 251
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/26/2012 2:24:03 PM
One of the things contributing to the disconnect and friction between believers and non-believers is the misconception that "Christian" is synonymous with "Fundamentalist.". In my experience, those who believe that the Bible is infallible are the minority. Few believers will agree with dashing the babies of our enemies against stones, or that eating shellfish is an abomination.

Many Catholics still believe that there is a difference between mortal and venial sin. This is much more reasonable than the idea that cheating on taxes carries the same weight as rape and murder.

Most people of faith have to rely on their own conscience and intellect when determining right from wrong. This is why some of them have been able to convince themselves that it is OK to torment homosexuals, but unnecessary to follow christ's plea to care for "the least among us.". This is a scenario where the nonbeliever is well-justified in his frustration with Christians...

The woman is not demanding that the man convert. Nor is she leaving him due to the differences in their beliefs. She is compromising her values for him already, but there is a limit for most of us, religious and non-religious alike.

This is what she believes. It is important to her. It sounds as if she actually is respecting his beliefs, as she did not demand that he convert. He should show her that same respect.

They are at an impasse. If she cannot marry him, for reasons that are valid to her, and he is not willing to continue the relationship outside the bond of matrimony, then separation is the only path that won't lead to resentment down the road.

That being said, it certainly would have been nice if the religious issue as it applies to marriage had been aired before they "fell madly in love.".
 billdawg777
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 253
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 1/26/2012 3:49:44 PM
i am a christian of 26 years and i would never have dated him if he was not a believer and she should not have either,,,it is forbidden in the bible for believers to marry unbeliever`s. It will not work,,and also pre-martial relations,,,is a no no too,,if you sleep with someone before you marry them do you love the person or the sex????da da,,thats why God has it set up that way or at least one of the reasons,,,Im also a christian councellor,,,so that pretty well sums it up....,,She is surelly at fault here,,and im not picking on her,,,but she should know ,,it is sin,,and God will not bless his children living in habitual sin...meaning for one ,,,if she is having itimate relations with this person
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