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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 blindfish
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 51
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.Page 3 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
How did this question get the attention it did? Oh, right, it involves religion.

The moment she asked him to change who he was, the relationship began to circle the drain. Even if he converted it would not be real. This is not a "you need to stop picking your nose", this is a "you need to change a fundamental part of who you are."

This is game-playing at its finest, and someone who plays games like this is not worth anyone's time.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 52
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/12/2010 6:48:03 PM
Gotta admit, TDH9 does start some interesting threads eh?

Where else can we b1itch about stuff?

OK, round of drinks for everyone!
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 53
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/12/2010 7:04:08 PM
if I was in a relationship and my partner was not working, I would (according to you) give him an ultimatum that if didn't start looking for work, I would not be with them.............well toots, that's not an ultimatum.

Exactly if he refused to start working you would not be with him therefore ultimatum!Let me make this simple for you.Partner refuses to work,you tell him work or you leave him.That is an ultimatum.

Nice try but your belief of there are no ultimatums in love fails big time!

By the way Your posting style is VERY familiar.Just so you know you are only allowed one profile on pof.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 54
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History
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 3:58:03 AM
So, the atheist is good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to marry ?
Actually, I think most atheists wouldn't mind that.

If he's really an atheist, I don't see how he's put up with her all this time.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 55
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 6:32:01 AM

I think they are already married, and they don't know it. Maybe we are brought up to believe that every thing in our lives is dictated by our governments, and councils?


Interesting take!.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 56
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 6:44:31 AM

If we pick what we are told about how we should live, that is still very current.

If you pick and choose the principles you like, then your belief is meaningless. Real principles always have a cost.
 moonwalkerman
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 57
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 6:52:38 AM
I can add something from my own experience. I once had a girlfriend of whom I knew pretty fast that she was religious. She did not make a point of it in the beginning, and sex was not a problem at all. I met her parents and really really got along well with them. Being an atheist myself, I found it kind of cute that they would pray before dinner and thank God for all the good stuff. We never argued about it either. I am not sure if her parents knew that I was a non-believer. They knew I was German, and that didn't seem to bother them (and yes, two of my family members, from very long ago, were Nazi soldiers, hey, but they vanished somewhere near Stalingrad). All they ever said to her was that it didn't really matter to them whom she brought home, as long as it wasn't a black guy. That really DID seem to bother them. We are talking about the Southern US here...
Until that one day later in the relationship when I played my favourite Iron Maiden song, The Number of the Beast, in the car, and she totally freaked out. From then on, she occasionally mentioned that she wanted to send me bible verses, which I really vehemently opposed. Well, we didn't get married. Thinking about it in retrospective, I think it was the dealbreaker.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 58
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History
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 7:04:14 AM
Apparently who she fools around with as a single woman has absolutely nothing to do with who she wants to marry and raise children with, I certainly did not consider many of the guys I dated husband material.
She is not going to change her beliefs for him so the question becomes, What the hell was he thinking? Did the Atheist really think this girl would not be raising her children in the church? did he believe she was more than willing to go against her core beliefs and those of her entire family for him?
Was he really willing to keep his mouth shut and allow her to get the kids baptised, sit through Bible school and get dressed in their finest every Sunday?
It appears to me that he did not put a whole lot of thought into the proposal. A leopard doe not change its spots.
 I-am-Rei
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 60
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 8:34:15 AM
I wonder why there's a debate about this? The guy asked the woman to marry him. So? Marriage is not only a religious rite. It is also a civil rites. Why can't they have a civil marriage instead? Anyways OP had claimed they were having sex before marriage therefore it belies the label devout Christian. Therefore again, asking the guy to convert is full hypocrisy when she's already living unchristianly.

Atheist? Really? Throw them a dead rat and they will exclaimed "OMG".

 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 61
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 9:56:27 AM
^^^Pointing out the obvious? As I pointed out earlier, devout Christians wouldn't be caught dead with Atheist. After all, they follow Christs' every move, or supposedly.

Religion is full of hypocrisy, and is one of the main reasons why I don't associate myself with religious organizations.
 worknovertime
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 62
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 11:24:52 AM
Being willing to go to church with someone.. even raise the kids in a particular manner is not at all the same as committing to changing your beliefs.

If a person has come to the point where they do not accept religion, you are not going to change what is happening inside their head....maybe the best you will ever get is that they don't pass judgment on your beliefs.

It is no more reasonable for her to demand he believe than it is for him to demand that she stop believing.

She seems to be only concerned about kids... so... if they wait long enough, she will be too old for kids. BUT.. if she really wants kids, then this relationship ends when she hears the biological clock ticking too loudly.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 63
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 4:17:39 PM
My dad was an atheist and my mom grew up Baptist.

The love of my life was a Muslim. I identified as a Taoist. It was never something we disagreed about. I supported his belief, he supported mine.

I would find it hard to marry an atheist, if he weren't supportive of my beliefs. Plus, you'd argue once you had kids and what not.

It doesn't have to be that way. My son was raised by me (at that point, agnostic) and his father, Christian. We all went to the church where my ex's brother was a youth pastor for holidays/occasions. However, he also supported my belief that our son should be afforded the option to choose his own beliefs. Our son was exposed to innumerable Christian sects, Buddhism, Taoism, as well as philosophical ideologies that may have helped him find his own spiritual and/or religious path. If two people love one another and respect one another, it's very easy to raise well-rounded/healthy self-thinking children.

~OT~ This woman in the OP is definitely NOT a devout Christian. She's actively boinking an atheist. Of course, she can always be sorry for each and every romp and it'll be forgiven. Maybe that makes it morally OK in her own mind. In mine? It just makes her a hypocrite. To have forged a relationship with someone she wouldn't trust with her off-spring. (By trust, I mean to instill in them value/morals ~ those things DO NOT come from organized religion, those things come from the heart/soul of who someone is.) JMO
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 64
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 4:34:32 PM
She can demand whatever she wants out of a marriage. He can either do it, or leave things as they are.

If she see's herself marrying a christian so they can share this with rearing of children, thats her desire. It is not invalid simply because she opened her legs already.

Is it fair? What the hell is fair? I learned a loonngg time ago that life isnt fair....she can ask for whatever she wants in a marriage...as can he. These two dont jive...I wouldnt call it unfair, Id call it two idiots wasting one anothers time...but not unfair.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 65
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 5:32:22 PM
I've dated uber religious women.
But they dissappeared if I hinted at joining to their cult.
I'm thinking they just wanted to have some harmless bad boy fun.
You know, sin abit and move on.
Can't do that withn their own congregation for obvious reasons.

So if a very religious woman is not dating in the usual holy places...
I figure she is just playing and not admitting it to herself.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 66
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 5:54:39 PM
I don't care what "reason" is given,
I just see it as the female thinks the male is good enough for frills/thrills/dating,
but not good enough to marry.

He needs to hear that message clearly, in my opinion.
 Simon4567
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 67
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 6:04:51 PM
It sounds like it is not going to work long term.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 68
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 8:17:44 PM

This woman in the OP is definitely NOT a devout Christian. She's actively boinking an athiest. Of course, she can always be sorry for each and every romp and it'll be forgiven


That must be an added perk of being a bible thumber, just say a few hail mary and all your sins are washed away.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 69
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/13/2010 10:48:40 PM

Cenomeno:One fake atheist and one christian walk into a bar.................... HE is fake. He doesn't believe in anything because he's lazy to look for answers. If he had 'real-solid' reasons, he wouldn't be able to survive in that relationship.


• Theists don't have to PROVE there are god(s), they only have to BELIEVE there are/were god(s).

• Atheists don't have to PROVE there are no god(s), they only have to BELIEVE there are/were no god(s).

• Agnostics don't even have to CARE. They can fence-sit all day. I've been in that boat a long time. I've been to many services at churches, a mosque, a synagogue, shinto shrines, inside a Buddha statue, Notre Dame and The Vatican. They were all just buildings.
 worknovertime
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 70
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/14/2010 3:50:35 AM
tdh49...

That is exactly correct.

Do as you like during the week, then you just have to confess and be washed clean!

AND.. if you are Catholic... even a mortal sin can be washed away if you pay enough money (called an Indulgence!).
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 72
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History
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/14/2010 9:26:45 AM
A lot of times, it becomes a situation where the religious person is concerned about what her/his family thinks more than what they themselves believe. That was my situation; I told my fiance that while we may go to her church, I wouldn't hesitate to answer our children's questions as a scientist would, and if her religion could stand up to critical thinking scrutiny, I would have no trouble with our kids' belief or non belief. While I believe that a lot of religion is simply stuff created to control the population of whatever tribe the people were in, there are good moral guides in most as well, and I would be willing to tolerate the temporary belief in a mythical supreme being if it meant learning correct behavior as well (as anyone with a brain will quickly dismiss the concept of invisible beings, as well as all the paradoxes in religions as they grow up). She accepted that. Today, even the catholic church is having difficulty keeping the faithful; with the scandal of all their protection of pedophiles, to their admission to accepting aliens from outer space as reasonable possibilities, I think the end of organized religion has begun. As others have said, you can make someone go to your church, but you really can't change what they believe.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 73
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/14/2010 4:19:56 PM

I believe that a lot of religion is simply stuff created to control the population of whatever tribe the people were in.


I agree. There are religions like Roman Catholic and others that try to convince people that any form of birth control is a mortal sin. Getting people to believe this is crucial to maintaining the flock's numbers, since most people blindly follow the same church as their parents.

The first thing the OP should check is to see what the churches views are regarding birth control and see if the girlfriend has the same views. Would he be happy with a woman who feels it's mandated by God to pop out a baby every nine months?

Another issue is: can the girlfriend be frank (no, not sex change) and tell her church pals that she's dating an atheist, but he's willing to go to church a few times to see if it's for him? Would they be peed off with her for dating a sinner or would they be open and welcome him if he wants to check out church and the whole religion thing? Would everyone be peed off at him if he checked out the religion thing and decided in the end that it's not for him?
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 74
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/14/2010 8:07:44 PM
What is your point? It's a made up scenario, right?

And it is "atheist."
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 75
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/14/2010 11:01:47 PM
I have nothing against religion


are you sure? because you next statement flies right in the face of this.



but a lot of people, including her boyfriend have a hard time believing that Eve was made from a man's rib and she was fooled by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree, and she is the reason we are all evil inside


Straddles fences much. You know this is EXACTLY how you also feel deep down. Are you worried that if you say it out loud a Great God will come from the sky and smite you down for blasphemy?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 76
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/15/2010 6:47:19 AM

Not particularly. I am sure I am not against religion


No unpon further review I don't think you are against religion either. You have way too much knowledge of the bible to be a total non believer.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 77
Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.
Posted: 12/15/2010 7:42:16 AM

You have way too much knowledge of the bible to be a total non believer.

I'm a non-believer, and I know many non-believers like myself who have lots of biblical knowledge. The difference is, we tend to be more critical of it's "good" messages while emphasizing the "bad" ones.
Christians tend to stick to the "feel good" stories.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Christian girl refuses to marry her Athiest b/f unless he converts to Christianity.