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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Is it possible to "train" a bad kisser?      Home login  
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 BentonHarbor
Joined: 3/2/2010
Msg: 70
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
^^^^How long did that relationship last then? Few days, years---how long?

If I ever encountered someone so phobia I couldn't take it much further than the poor kisser discovery stage.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 71
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/23/2010 2:52:22 PM
I'm of the opinion that one can't train a grown man how to kiss. I tried it and it didn't work. When I was in college in my early twenties, I once dated a guy who would open his mouth widely and draw his lips tightly back. He actually cut into my lips and bruised the area around them with his teeth---it was excruciatingly painful, and my mouth was always chapped and sore.

I asked him to relax his lips when he kissed me, and he'd do this for a while---only to tense them up and draw them back again as he became more passionately immersed in the kiss. It got to the point that I dreaded kissing him---and we broke up a few months later.
 seadoesit
Joined: 12/15/2010
Msg: 72
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/23/2010 9:42:45 PM
My goodness ! Sounds like u had a hose on ur lips when u two kissed lol !
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 73
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Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/23/2010 10:42:11 PM
A long, long time ago, in a land far, far away, I grew up listening to women complain about their mates. And I listened very carefully (obviously too carefully, and became too self conscious and insecure about a lot of things as a teen). And so, I sought out how to kiss. There aren't a lot of books on the subject, especially back when I was growing up. But listening to the girls, and reading, I managed to learn. And learn, I did. I think the main thing is that no two people kiss quiet the same; some girls like it soft, tender, some like it hard fast and passionate. But most like a sort of in between combination of the two. I think it's really a re-active thing; you have to see how someone is responding to what you're doing, and adjust if necessary. Can you teach that? Sure. But the person has to want to learn. As guys, we're told to lead, not ask questions, never ask for help (especially in the romance department), just take charge, 'be confident' (right, ladies?). Over and over we're told that confidence is a turn on for you. So, being confident, we just assume we're doing the right things. Right? Now, how are you going to turn this around and tell us we should not be confident, that we should question what we are doing? You can't have it both ways. If your guy isn't kissing the way you want, find another guy. There're plenty of us out here.
 Kranck
Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 74
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/24/2010 7:14:14 PM
^^^
Over and over we're told that confidence is a turn on for you. So, being confident, we just assume we're doing the right things. Right?

Well, perhaps. But sometimes the most confident (and intimate) thing a guy can say is “I don’t know.”
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 75
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/24/2010 8:47:38 PM
Over and over we're told that confidence is a turn on for you. So, being confident, we just assume we're doing the right things. Right?


Wrong. Confident men don’t need to always be right and don’t worry about being wrong. They tend not to take things personally---instead they think about how to turn things around. When something goes wrong they don’t stand around looking embarrassed. They can laugh at themselves and move forward. They will take responsibility for themselves and for the parts of the situation they had some control over---like becoming a better kisser.
 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 76
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/26/2010 7:43:38 AM
Perhaps 'train' was a poor choice of words.

But the basic premise is, I think, if someone just doesnt kiss you the way you like, can they change, and how do you achieve that?

I think kissing tells you a great deal about someone's sexuality. And while I do think that a couple learns how to please each other, basic sexual compatability is such a necessary part of a relationship, that short of mentioning something that you don't like (never while in bed!) or do like, there isn't a lot you can do to change the MANNER in which something is done. JMO

At least, thats how it has been for me.
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 77
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/26/2010 9:42:17 AM
That's a good question. Bad kissing is such a huge turnoff, I don't know if I could make myself keep kissing him without gagging. I also suspect that a person who is a bad kisser ( to you, anyway) may learn "your" way of kissing, but when things heat up, and he is going on instinct and habit, he will revert back to "his" way of doing it. Ick. Kissing could not be more important, IMO. It has to be right.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 78
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/28/2010 6:26:21 AM
it is possible to teach a partner what you like if the partner cares enough to learn.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 79
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/28/2010 2:07:00 PM

But the basic premise is, I think, if someone just doesnt kiss you the way you like, can they change, and how do you achieve that?

I'd disagree. I don't think kissing well is about any particular way of kissing. Kissing well means being able to read the other person and turn that other person on by knowing what the other person wants. Bad kissers are those who aren't able to do anything but kiss in a very limited and unimaginative way. You can train people to kiss different ways, but you can't train someone to read another person and get in sync as it happens. I can't think of what I'd tell someone to do differently, since I just do whatever seems to fit the moment.
 Pilose_Wink
Joined: 11/2/2010
Msg: 80
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/28/2010 5:50:09 PM
You can train someone to play the piano, but in order to be a great musician, one needs to possess something that can’t be taught. I think the same can be said for kissing, all the technique in the world isn’t going to overcome a lack of feeling.
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 81
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 12/29/2010 10:13:09 PM
^^^^ As a former piano teacher, I couldn't agree more. I've tried to give pointers on kissing technique, but, the person has to feel it like a musician feels the music, and it's more complex than a person and an instrument because it's highly interactive and the nuances are subject to change from moment to moment. I agree that it's highly intimate, very revealing about the person as a lover, and when it works it's absolutely sublime. When it doesn't work it can be a huge turn-off - literally the kiss of death for any further romance.
 uSoGoSu
Joined: 5/16/2010
Msg: 82
Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 1/2/2011 5:29:12 AM
I was a horrible kisser until a few years ago when my GF at the time basically just told me exactly what to do. With enough practice I became a pro! Nearly every girl I've kissed since then has complimented me on my skills =).
'You can't teach an old dog new tricks' might be what's stopping the men you tried to teach; it's hard to break old habits. I say just be persistent and don't expect them to be perfect right away.
 LongAfterDark
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 83
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Is it possible to train a bad kisser?
Posted: 1/2/2011 10:19:24 AM
I don't know if anyone has pointed this out yet but a "train" in sex slang has another meaning than education. It means a woman having sex with a lot of guys one after the other. This is what I thought you meant when I read the subject line and was going to ask if maybe gang sex was punishment for not knowing how to use one's lips and tongue.
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